It was a few moments before he spoke to me again, and his words were so quiet, the wind nearly drowned them out... or perhaps it was merely me, caught between worlds, clinging to what I would never have one last time.
I had died once long ago, been left behind in the Deeper Well, and now I was all that remained of it thanks to Cain... soon I would be gone, so perhaps he had won, in the end.
Clouds filled my vision as I once again pushed through the pain and held it, using it to keep me here for a moment longer, to look into the eyes that had hated me so once, yet now held something else within them.
A slight touch from Wesley's hand on my face gave me the warmth I needed to stay...
"Please, why can't I stay?"
... and I leaned into it, allowing him the moment as well. A shared one that perhaps I wanted more than he, but a shared one nonetheless.
"I don't have to."
My eyes shut as I began to let the body I inhabited go, to wither and die like the flower Willow had given to me once. Yet, he continued to speak...
"I love you."
The lips upon mine felt different than before when we had kissed, when it had been a lie to us both. I tried to sense the untruth in his words and found... none. My hand reached weakly up to his face again as I pressed my own lips back against his, wetness clinging to my face in streams that would not end.
I had found love. At last.
My lips moved ever so slightly from his, as I whispered back, "Thank you..."
I could die, leave this world I had sought to understand, since I now understood him. My mouth was dry, yet filling with blood again as I struggled to speak. "I... love... you..." I coughed in his arms as everything that was once a God left my form until there was only me left.
"Tell... Willow... that..."
My hand fell from his face suddenly, my head felt heavy, and darkness consumed all.
I tasted the salt tang of tears, felt the pressure against my lips that I knew was taking the very last of Illyria's physical strength to accomplish. And then, a moment later, it was gone as she moved away. Her lips trembled as she managed to breathe out a few more words.
"Thank you..."
"Again," I whispered, "thank you."
She coughed, a harsh convulsion that wracked her entire now frail and weakening body.
"I... love... you..."
"Shhhh..." I pulled her closer, my cheek against hers. "I know." I'd always known, I supposed, but had never been willing to admit it to myself, or to anyone else. But I knew. I accepted. And her love had helped set me free.
"Tell... Willow... that..."
And then she was gone.
A breeze shifted a few strands of her hair, fluttered across the tattered rips in both our clothes, a small, brief wind from nowhere that vanished as quickly as it had come. I needed no enhanced senses or magics to know that the light was gone, and all I held in my arms... was a shell.
"Goodbye, Illyria."
I blinked back hot, stinging tears. And at last-- goodbye, Fred, I thought, the last melancholy chains slipping from me.
Reaching up, I closed Illyria's eyes and slid one arm under her knees, and then the other around her shoulders. I stood, her body now so light it felt hollow, which, I supposed, it was.
I turned until I saw the forced-open door through which the other survivors were exiting. My shoes rasping against the debris-strewn concrete floor, I walked towards that light, my voice a murmur too low for anyone to hear.
"Lay her i' the earth: And from her fair and unpolluted flesh May violets spring..."
I had died once long ago, been left behind in the Deeper Well, and now I was all that remained of it thanks to Cain... soon I would be gone, so perhaps he had won, in the end.
Clouds filled my vision as I once again pushed through the pain and held it, using it to keep me here for a moment longer, to look into the eyes that had hated me so once, yet now held something else within them.
A slight touch from Wesley's hand on my face gave me the warmth I needed to stay...
"Please, why can't I stay?"
... and I leaned into it, allowing him the moment as well. A shared one that perhaps I wanted more than he, but a shared one nonetheless.
"I don't have to."
My eyes shut as I began to let the body I inhabited go, to wither and die like the flower Willow had given to me once. Yet, he continued to speak...
"I love you."
The lips upon mine felt different than before when we had kissed, when it had been a lie to us both. I tried to sense the untruth in his words and found... none. My hand reached weakly up to his face again as I pressed my own lips back against his, wetness clinging to my face in streams that would not end.
I had found love. At last.
My lips moved ever so slightly from his, as I whispered back, "Thank you..."
I could die, leave this world I had sought to understand, since I now understood him. My mouth was dry, yet filling with blood again as I struggled to speak. "I... love... you..." I coughed in his arms as everything that was once a God left my form until there was only me left.
"Tell... Willow... that..."
My hand fell from his face suddenly, my head felt heavy, and darkness consumed all.
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"Thank you..."
"Again," I whispered, "thank you."
She coughed, a harsh convulsion that wracked her entire now frail and weakening body.
"I... love... you..."
"Shhhh..." I pulled her closer, my cheek against hers. "I know." I'd always known, I supposed, but had never been willing to admit it to myself, or to anyone else. But I knew. I accepted. And her love had helped set me free.
"Tell... Willow... that..."
And then she was gone.
A breeze shifted a few strands of her hair, fluttered across the tattered rips in both our clothes, a small, brief wind from nowhere that vanished as quickly as it had come. I needed no enhanced senses or magics to know that the light was gone, and all I held in my arms... was a shell.
"Goodbye, Illyria."
I blinked back hot, stinging tears. And at last-- goodbye, Fred, I thought, the last melancholy chains slipping from me.
Reaching up, I closed Illyria's eyes and slid one arm under her knees, and then the other around her shoulders. I stood, her body now so light it felt hollow, which, I supposed, it was.
I turned until I saw the forced-open door through which the other survivors were exiting. My shoes rasping against the debris-strewn concrete floor, I walked towards that light, my voice a murmur too low for anyone to hear.
"Lay her i' the earth:
And from her fair and unpolluted flesh
May violets spring..."
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