Conflicted
In all seriousness, I would appreciate it if someone would explain to me how to make myself crave "strange".
I am really turned on by cute guys, and I love porn. Love, love, love porn. So why the hell do I not crave casual sex like other young single guys? It seems like *every* attractive single man in existence is primarily or exclusively seeking no-strings-attached sex. My straight friend at work is always telling me about how his perfect girlfriend would be one who just comes over for sex. Guys online are all about "looking for fun" and "not interested in a relationship". And the fact that NSA doesn't appeal to me means that I am wasting away my young attractive years without having any sex at all.
I feel like something is wrong with me. How can I love men and the idea of sex in the most salacious ways, but at the same time be really put off by the concept of hooking up? And to be clear, I would call any sex without a serious prospect of dating, including going home with someone from a bar, to be "hooking up".
The fact that I'm not having sex now gives me the same sort of horribly hollow lost-youth feeling that I had in high school when I wasn't dating like all the cute straight boys were... except back then, I didn't really have the opportunity to jump on that train. Now, I get a fair share of interest, but it's 99% NSA and I turn it down every time. How can casual sex be something that other men are so clearly nuts over, but yet make me feel nothing but incredibly jealous?
I went out with a cute nerdy guy a few times recently, but he was only mildly into me - not enough for it to go anywhere, apparently. He was incredibly sexy (to me, at least) and he seemed to think the same about me, because he practically forced me inside him. But I just couldn't get into it because I didn't feel a connection there. Even though I loved his tight smooth body and would love to fuck him again, and even though I have no doubt I could text "want to fuck?" and he'd be here in a heartbeat, I just can't bear the thought of pursuing that kind of "buddy" who doesn't care about me for any other purposes.
I'm so *fucking* confused. And I'm really, really bothered by this. It's something I can't comprehend and I just can't seem to stop thinking about.
I am really turned on by cute guys, and I love porn. Love, love, love porn. So why the hell do I not crave casual sex like other young single guys? It seems like *every* attractive single man in existence is primarily or exclusively seeking no-strings-attached sex. My straight friend at work is always telling me about how his perfect girlfriend would be one who just comes over for sex. Guys online are all about "looking for fun" and "not interested in a relationship". And the fact that NSA doesn't appeal to me means that I am wasting away my young attractive years without having any sex at all.
I feel like something is wrong with me. How can I love men and the idea of sex in the most salacious ways, but at the same time be really put off by the concept of hooking up? And to be clear, I would call any sex without a serious prospect of dating, including going home with someone from a bar, to be "hooking up".
The fact that I'm not having sex now gives me the same sort of horribly hollow lost-youth feeling that I had in high school when I wasn't dating like all the cute straight boys were... except back then, I didn't really have the opportunity to jump on that train. Now, I get a fair share of interest, but it's 99% NSA and I turn it down every time. How can casual sex be something that other men are so clearly nuts over, but yet make me feel nothing but incredibly jealous?
I went out with a cute nerdy guy a few times recently, but he was only mildly into me - not enough for it to go anywhere, apparently. He was incredibly sexy (to me, at least) and he seemed to think the same about me, because he practically forced me inside him. But I just couldn't get into it because I didn't feel a connection there. Even though I loved his tight smooth body and would love to fuck him again, and even though I have no doubt I could text "want to fuck?" and he'd be here in a heartbeat, I just can't bear the thought of pursuing that kind of "buddy" who doesn't care about me for any other purposes.
I'm so *fucking* confused. And I'm really, really bothered by this. It's something I can't comprehend and I just can't seem to stop thinking about.