The L Word "Left Hand of the Goddess"
Yeah, even I had to join in on the mock Brokeback Mountain bandwagon. I mean it fits, a quote from a disappointing movie for not only the most disappointing episode of The L Word, but also the most predictable. The anvils were dropped left and write and I was almost insulted by the end of the episode, wondering if the writers thought their audience was smart enough to add 0 + 0 together. They obviously did not, the episode was more see through than one of my girlfriends shirts, and that says ALOT. There were pod people left and write, people popping in as convenient plot devices just as much, oh and don't forget the easily resolved storylines to move on to the completely forshadowed plot points. Dull. Boring. Flat. And all the characters I spent three years growing to love and learning alot about never bothered to show up. I'm not sure who the characters were last night.
For instance Bette and Tina. I again am struck by this need that when someone gets a spiritual center their IQ drops faster than a penny off the top of the Empire State Building...though they dropped every "cluevil"1 they could while they were up there. But I digress, we have Alpha Bette back, but unfortunately she also took some stupid pills. I know Bette is brash and does things on impulse, but I have a hard time believing it would have taken her six whole weeks before she came to this conclusion that not only is fighting for sole custody of Angelica not the way to fix things, but it's also pretty much a losing battle. Bette has little ground to stand on, she doesn't have a job yet, she isn't the birth mother, and Tina, though dumb as she may be, hasn't done anything to be considered as neglect. Bette will have a hard time convincing any judge she should have sole custody based on the fact she's mixed as is Angelica. Hell she can't even use the "I know what it's like to be a minority and looked at differently" considering that Tina was a lesbian for 6 years, meaning she was a minority and people looked at her differently.
Now they just look at her like she's insane.
Though, gotta hand best quote of the episode to Bette--
Carmen: "Come back to our side, Tina. Come back."
Bette: "Fuck that, they can keep her."
I giggled a little when she said that, especially the way Jennifer Beals delivered the line. Back to Tina though, I don't understand why she's with Henry, other than it's the perfect "life" of sorts. I also find it really odd that Tina would have been the one to say no to marriage do to how "hetero" it is. Though I'm sure it was written for that extra bit of irony, it just didn't seem like her character. In the first season she always struck me as someone who would be traditional in a completely untraditional way. Yet we find out the only reason Bette and Tina didn't commit was because of Tina...I just have a hard time swallowing that.
Also, Henry is an ass. Period. Ok, what, you've known Tina for two months. Two. Fucking. Months. Two. I just want to make that number clear, two months (give a week for Dana to croak, and another for her funeral...so I am being generous here). Yet here he was lecturing Tina on what to do about Bette adopting Angelica. All I want to say, for his platitudes last episode about "not caring" about her lifestyle, how narrow minded is he that he's pissed that "if they get married" if Bette adopted Angelica he couldn't be her father.
Fuck you Henry, a piece of paper won't make you her damn father. Shut up and go away you small minded prick. Why is it all straight guys are dicks on this show? I know alot of great straight guys, don't they live in LA too?
I would also like to bitch slap Tina for being just as bitchy back to Bette when she was trying to explain her brash decision and that she was trying to correct her mistake. Tina should KNOW Bette well enough to get that it was something Bette would do, so announcing you not only want to take Bette's adoption rights away, but that you also want to start a family with Mr. Mediocre who you've known TWO months is really not headed anywhere near compromise territory.
Am I the only one who finds it amusing that for all of Tina's announcements of being independent, and getting her autonomy, that she has yet to be on her own, completely? She lived with Alice after Bette cheated, then with her lawyer, then back with Bette, then Bette used her resources to get her an apartment, which she had very shortly before Helena pretty much snapped her up, then she went back with Bette, now she's with Henry.
So much for independence, autonomy, and getting ride of that passive agressive streak.
I also really don't like the Lara/Alice relationship. They don't fit for me, and the whole thing just felt so damn forced, like neither actor could figure out why the hell their characters were doing this. It just doesn't fit, I could get a couple of times after Dana's funeral, but I find it hard to believe that it's too the point six weeks later and they are suggesting Alice has feelings for Lara. Of course she makes the vague statement shortly not long after Lara asks to talk and Alice walks away saying she doesn't want to talk. Obviously she isn't over Dana (seeing as she was taking DANA'S pills!), she's still grieving, and to just have her turn around and want to talk to Lara about her feelings after talking to a marriage counselor is...a plot device. And I hate it. Leisha is awesome, but even she can't do much with the peanuts she was given. I'd also like to mention that I find it really strange that Alice (along with everyone else) wasn't pissed off at Shane after the wedding fiasco. These are people who were only hours before toasting her "loyalty". *I* am pissed off at Shane.
One last thing...when you have a beautiful red head, what crack are you smoking that you see the need to make her BLONDE! Someone needs to fire that hair dresser, hell, imagine WILLOW as a blonde! It just doesn't work, and I don't know why they did it.
Oo, ok I lied, I'm curious, they were up in the mountains at some kind of ski resort, and Alice did this thing where she ziplined down a slope, does anyone know what that's called, or where the hell I can do it!
Kit and Mangus. Still. Don't. Care. Kit's pregnant, which honestly, considering her age, is SUCH a bad idea. The complications are SO high, for mother, and child, not to mention how old she'll be when the kid gets out of high school. I'm not being mean, but barring the next 18 years without any kind of complications, the kid will be lucky to grow up before something happens to Kit. She's WELL into her 50's, at least going by what was set up in season one, we are looking at Kit being somewhere between 53 and 54...now do the math on that. Plus, I really don't want to deal with ANOTHER pregnancy storyline, for fuck's sake it will make it a THIRD year with a pregnancy storyline.
Max and Jenny just really, really, really need to go their seperate ways. I can understand Jenny being pissed at Max for buying into the patriarchal lifestyle that she so detests, but it's Max's decision. Max IS trying to hard to fit in, but he does have a point, shocking people just to make them uncomfortable doesn't solve a damn thing. Oh yes, dancing in a bar with a bunch of straight people and making out with a girl is really going to make them look at gays and lesbians as something more than sex crazed animals.
Though Jenny had a point too, that because Max was trying so hard to fit in, it made him stand out, and yeah one day that's going to bite him in the ass. One day someone will find out he used to be Moira and then all his building of this perfect life will shatter.
Max doesn't need straight friends, he needs people like himself who understand how the would will view him. He also needs a girlfriend who will support him as much as tell him he's trying too damn hard.
I also can't be all proud of Jenny for what she said at the dinner with Max's coworkers either. Yeah she spoke her mind and made a point to Max, but it was neither the time nor the place for it. You can fight sexism and the "system", but doing it by possibly compromising your partners job, whether you believe in it or not is just crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed. You support your partner in front of friends and colleagues, and be honest and forthright with them on a one on one basis. Plus, talking about masturbation to shock people just set you back to junior high, way to be an adult Jenny *rolls eyes*.
Though I'm not a Max fan, I don't think it's fair that Jenny treats him like shit and doesn't just dump him. I honestly think Max cares for Jenny in a wierd sort of way (I'm inclined to say the way you'd care for someone who takes care of you), which is why he stood there and Jenny did her thing with the french chick. It's a fucked up relationship, and as much as I don't like Max, he still doesn't deserve to be in a relationship like that. More so considering Jenny uses him for story fodder, and constantly steps on the shards of self image that Max is desperately trying to put back together.
So, all in all, Jenny just needs to go away with Tina.
As for Helena, two things. First, when did she get all buddy buddy with her mother? I swear she was hanging all over her mother like they were BFF, but in the second season her and her mother had a worse relationship than Melvin and Kit. As an aside, why was Peggy even at Carmen and Shane's wedding? It was wierd seeing her there when the only people she's ever really interacted with was Helena and Bette.
Second, why are they implying that Helena is pennyless now that her mom cut her off? I mean I get that her mom cut her off from the inheritance money, but one would think she is actually making money as the head of the Peabody Foundation and as the owner of a movie studio, it would be stupid to invest and not make anything on return! I'm just surprised that everyone acts like she's completely broke, she has to have some form of income with the jobs she holds!
Finally the mess that's left of Carmen and Shane. I don't even know where to begin with that mess. First, I really don't know why Shane even gives a fuck about what shady advice her jackass of a father bothered to give her. I get they were bashing us in the head with the fact that Shane was like her dad in alot of ways, but using that as an excuse to LEAVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AT THE ALTAR is unacceptable. Not to mention that Shane didn't even bother to tell Carmen in person, she sent it through Alice. One word. Chickenshit.
It's one thing to be afraid of hurting someone, and just cutting it off with them because you truly believe pain is the only thing you can bring them. It's another to do all this and not even be able to face them as you are honest with them. And it's even worse when you say you love this person.
I get that Shane is terrified, and seeing her asshole of a father throw away his relationship with his wife just drove that home. I just think it threw her character back years by having her just not bother to show up to her wedding, and wait so long to make the decision that Carmen got the news AS she was walking down the aisle. That is just more wrong than wrong. I'm still amazed no one seemed to really care that Shane walked out on Carmen.
The writing when it came to Shane's dad was wierd too. It was hard to peg him, and it was really made unclear as to why he would even bother letting his wife contact Shane if he had no desire to be with her. The wife was also pretty gittery and seemed, off. I'd like to know more about that storyline, and hopefully it's not one that's lost in the time between seasons.
Oh, and for the writer's to know, it would have been nice to see Shane get the call to meet her deadbeat dad and how she reacted to that. Instead we hear about it via Jenny and Carmen talking to everyone else while they are trying on wedding dresses.
Lastly, COP OUT when it came to Carmen's mom accepting her. I would love to meet a parent that was THAT angry at their child being gay, and then six weeks later act like nothing happened and accept everything there was to that lifestyle. It would have been more interesting actually seeing the progression of Carmen's mother accepting her.
I thought it was a major let down as a finale, but that's no surprise. There were tons of moments that were so predictable I couldn't help but roll my eyes (come on, not only was the marriage counselor running off with Peggy cliche, but as soon as she was talking about "lost love" "heiress" and "ran off to england" who DIDN'T know it was Peggy?!). The writing has gotten beyond sloppy, and I'm seriously considering giving up on this show altogether. I'm sure I'll reconsider by next February, just to see if the characters I actually came to know in Season 1 and 2 actually return.
Until then, this is my last L Word review...now what am I going to do with my time!!!!!