(no subject)
Conceptions and endings always inspire documentation. I have about a week left in this house, which seems crazy and impossible and strange. When I'm not studying for exams, I'm throwing out garbage bags of accumulated junk. A neatly compiled folder of handouts and homework from a 10th grade biology class! Awkward sketches from when I was thirteen. Museum brochures. Teen magazines. Crappy black and white negatives - reminders of my photographic beginnings. The organizing method is simple - I ask myself whether I'd be able to find it again, in a book or online. But even when the answer is yes, I know that most of the things I'm throwing out I will lose permanently. In a way I'm making room to collect new stuff. Mentally, I'm cataloging this house, its ugly paneled walls, its small windows, its baby blue carpets. Im trying to remember the layout of the roads on which I drive every day, but it's hard ascribing sentimentality to suburban new jersey. In 2003 staring out of the bus window on my way to New York, I fell in love with the Turnpike. But at the time I was going to school to learn how to see images. Now I go to school to look for problems.
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I think this may be my favorite feeling. In some ways, it's better than love. It's the feeling before beginning of an adventure, when all the plans are layed out and the arrangements are pretty much made, and all that's left is to wait for the start. My mind keeps racing with exciting vague possibilities, but I know from experience that I cannot even invent what is about to happen. The location is Philadelphia. The adventure is... dun dun dun.. my life. It's funny - a year ago I have never even been there. Now I'm moving to a small apartment in center city with a girl who dances and takes photographs and I'm going to a real university to study exactly what i want. For so long my future has been in a flux, and this finally feels right and good.
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One of the things I'm going to do when I move is write a zine. I think I'm finally ready. I've wanted to make one for a long time, but for it's been for the wrong reasons. Now I've actually lived a little and have things to say. But mostly I just want to organize my memories.
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For Christmas, I'm giving people personalized bags with Numi tea, Elexa condoms and sin bracelets. And chocolates, of course, lots of chocolates.
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I think this may be my favorite feeling. In some ways, it's better than love. It's the feeling before beginning of an adventure, when all the plans are layed out and the arrangements are pretty much made, and all that's left is to wait for the start. My mind keeps racing with exciting vague possibilities, but I know from experience that I cannot even invent what is about to happen. The location is Philadelphia. The adventure is... dun dun dun.. my life. It's funny - a year ago I have never even been there. Now I'm moving to a small apartment in center city with a girl who dances and takes photographs and I'm going to a real university to study exactly what i want. For so long my future has been in a flux, and this finally feels right and good.
.
One of the things I'm going to do when I move is write a zine. I think I'm finally ready. I've wanted to make one for a long time, but for it's been for the wrong reasons. Now I've actually lived a little and have things to say. But mostly I just want to organize my memories.
.
For Christmas, I'm giving people personalized bags with Numi tea, Elexa condoms and sin bracelets. And chocolates, of course, lots of chocolates.