ghosts.
I find it rather awkward yet interesting when people start creeping out of the woodwork from my past and contact me through 'myspace'. I've always heard of it happening to others and never really expected it to happen to me as well, naive, or perhaps just the flicker of my sometimes low self-esteem which has me believe that no one would care to search for me. Funny how the people that I really would like to come in contact with again I cannot seem to find, not a single one of them, and of course above all would be my sister whom I've been occasionally tracking online for the past year now on some fan-based message board (though there isn't enough information to be able to tell 100 percent for certain that it is truly her). It's quite apparent that even though she is reaching the age of twenty her mother has taught her to keep herself discreet in such an outlet. So far there have only been a few, but I wonder how many more, and if certain people of my very once present are going to trace me as long as they can. I remain in touch with my first boyfriend this way, though I don't mind that much at all, because he will always have a unique yet very small part of me. There is nothing particularly extremely personal on my space, unlike this journal, which I choose to keep public for the most part though will not post a link to it anywhere, however I suppose it is just the mere fact that it is my past coming back to haunt me. The part of my past that I realize plays an integral role in my growth as a person, remembering that I have overcome it, and therefore can take on just about anything I am faced with now. To think that I knew these people back when I could still say that I actually had a mother and a sister. I was invited to a birthday party and reunion of sorts this weekend, but I take a little glimpse into their life and I feel I share nothing in common with them any longer. Nevertheless when that past begins to materialize it assaults me with its truth, and although this may make me seem a bit snobbish, it's just that I'm not even certain if these are people I even want to know anymore.
Interestingly enough I dreamt of ghosts last night. They were lingering in a mansion in which I was staying as a guest, somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I heard incessant howling all night and in typical horror-film fashion blood would pour out of all the faucets. It was a very thick and disturbing presence.
Interestingly enough I dreamt of ghosts last night. They were lingering in a mansion in which I was staying as a guest, somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I heard incessant howling all night and in typical horror-film fashion blood would pour out of all the faucets. It was a very thick and disturbing presence.