Fic: The Karl Situation (Karlton. Again. Oops.)
Title: The Karl Situation
Pairing: Karl/Anton (references to Karl/Natalie and John/Anton)
Rating: NC-17
Length: 6100 words
Warnings: None
Summary: In the spirit of openness, Anton agrees to spend a week's vacation with Karl and his wife. This is day one. Follows on from The Yelchin Predicament
It's not Karl who opens the door and Anton's heart leaps one further inch into his mouth as Karl's wife appears out from behind it and gives him the exact same sunny smile she's given him the other few times they've met before.
“Oh, you're here! Come on in, Karl's popped out as we didn't know how long you'd take to arrive and, well, anyway, come in.”
“Thanks. Sorry. Am I early, then?”
“No, no. Course not. Just dump your bag here, I'll show you your room in a bit if Karl's not back.”
He does as she says, dropping his bag where he stands and following her through to a living room. It smells a little like Karl mixed in with wood smoke from the burner in the corner and Anton can't stop himself taking a deep breath in through his nose, giving Natalie a tentative smile again when it makes her look over to him.
“Let's get comfy, I doubt Karl'll be long and then we'll talk about lunch. You want something to drink?”
Hard alcohol. “Water?”
“Is that it? You wouldn't prefer a coffee? Something fizzy?”
“Coffee would be good, thanks.”
“Right. I'll get the kettle on, come through and talk to me.”
He puts on his best meeting-the-parents smile although this is totally something different and several degrees more uncomfortable, and he keeps along behind her, through a tiny dining area to a little wooden kitchen. Fucking Karl. His chest feels like it's cramping with longing, almost four months now since he's seen Karl and an unexpected further delay of no matter how many minutes is, like, total fucking torture. Would it have killed him to stick around until Anton arrived? It makes Anton wonder if it's somehow on purpose, dumping him and Natalie together so Karl doesn't have to be around for any ugliness. Although, with Natalie chatting about his drive up and the weather and their flight over, it's not so ugly. Weird and, for Anton at least, excruciating, but not ugly. Almost pleasant, if you came in on it and had no idea what was happening.
“God, listen to me yakking on. How do you take it?”
Anton's brain concludes that now's the time to make a dirty joke and he has to bite his lip to prevent himself from blurting out the obvious. “Just white. Thanks. It's a beautiful place, I like this kitchen.”
“Wait till you've seen the whole house. Karl did most of the work.”
“Yeah? That's pretty amazing.”
“Yeah. Then I paid someone to come in and fix it all.”
They both laugh, Anton more than a little awkwardly he knows, a stupid shrill giggle and she looks him over, chews the inside of her cheek for a moment as if considering whether or not to continue.
“Listen, Anton, I know this is all pretty new to you. The wife being in on it, I mean, but it's okay. It really is.”
He feels the ever-hated flush sweeping up his neck to engulf his face and it's so hot he feels dizzy for a minute, not knowing where to look. He focuses on the toe of one of his shoes and nods, tries to keep his voice calm.
“He told you? About . . .”
“About John? There's not much Karl doesn't tell me, sorry. Only in context with you and him. But I can keep a secret and I'm the last person to judge so, honestly, don't stress it.”
“God. Right. Thanks.”
“No prob. We'll talk more about the whole Karl situation. Later, once you've settled in a bit.”
That doesn't sound like a conversation he wants to have. But he can hear the front door open and then slam close, and his heart jumps right back into his throat as he scrambles to his feet, almost spilling the coffee over his hand in the process. He puts the mug down, his hands shaking.
“Hey, I saw a car out front! Is he here?”
“We're in the kitchen!”
Karl, it's Karl's voice, he's here and Anton's suppressing the urge to run through to find him, knowing that Nat's watching him with his eyes and face all lit up. And there he is as the kitchen door opens, dumping two grocery store bags hurriedly on the counter and he's paler than when Anton last saw him, all crinkly eyes, dimpled grin and patchy beard, sweeping Anton up into a bear hug.
“Fuck, you're a sight for sore eyes. Give us a cuddle.”
Bristles scrubbing across his neck as Karl shoves his face in there, arms tightening around him even more and he closes his eyes and hangs on, no choice in the matter at all, clinging to Karl like a wet shirt. One small, soft, nuzzly kiss with no tongue or anything too embarrassing in front of Natalie but it still holds a thousand times enough power to shatter every single promise that Anton's made to himself over not being in love with Karl, because it would be stupid to be in love with Karl because Karl's married and, fuck, when the fucking hell is he going to stop falling in love with emotionally unobtainable men? But Karl pulls away, cups Anton's face in big, warm hands and smiles at him, and Anton knows he's been lying to himself this whole time. Four months apart and nothing's changed, much as he'd hoped and dreaded it would.
“Your hair's longer.”
The fuck do you get off, leaving me to mope over you not being there for nearly four months, then here with your wife for the longest ten minutes of my entire fucking life? “Hair does that.”
“Smartypants. You're earlier than we thought you'd be.”
I couldn't sleep, knowing I was going to see you again so was on the road by five. Fuck sleep, I couldn't even eat and my stomach's a gnawing, churning pit of acid right now. “There wasn't much traffic.”
The twinkle deep in Karl's eyes says it all and Anton drops his head in sudden, overwhelming arousal only to get tugged into another hug, a kiss on top of his head.
“I missed you. Fuck, so much. Shown him around yet?”
I missed you like I was dying and there's no way I'm saying it in front of your wife. “I just got here myself, like, a minute or so ago.”
“Come on then, I'll give you the tour and show you your room. Back in a min.”
“We all know it takes you more than a minute these days, love. Don't sweat it, go have fun. I'm going to go sit in the garden and read the paper cover to cover for the first time in a decade.”
“Are you calling me past it?”
She inclines her head in a furiously blushing Anton's direction, a slight tone of something he can't put his finger on in her voice.
“We have proof enough over there that's not the case, don't you think? Go on, bugger off, get out from under my feet.”
Karl pauses long enough to grab Anton's bag as he drags Anton stumbling up the stairs, shoving a door open with his hip and Anton briefly registers a pretty blue and white guest room before Karl has kicked the door shut and grabbed him with a growled Come here, you.
Tongue, and lips, mouth all wet and tasting of Karl, Karl's scent in his nostrils, warm, smiling eyes looking deeply into his whenever they pull apart. Shoulders broad and strong under his hands as he pushes his way fast into Karl's shirt to touch whatever skin he can, Karl's chest when he finally fights the shirt off him and Karl's laughing into his mouth now, Karl's thick, muscular thigh rubbing against his hard-on.
“It's okay, we have actually got more than a minute. I was only joking.”
“Shut up. Get naked.”
“Jeez. Bossy.”
“Horny, Karl. Really fucking horny.”
They're a mess of fumbling, stroking hands and discarded clothing, and part of Anton is so sure this is wrong, to drop to his knees and bury his face in Karl's bush like this when his wife is downstairs, but Karl rubs against his mouth and he's burning up with it, jacking himself off already as he sucks Karl's beautiful big dick into his mouth. A hiss from somewhere above him as big hands cover his head in a blessing, mussing his hair,
“Fuck, sweetheart, you're, fuck -”
Broken off with a low moan as he takes Karl all the way down, a sigh and following shiver through Karl and it makes his heart ache, as much as his dick gets harder still with every drop of distilled flavor Karl leaks across his tongue. He's so turned on that each fast stroke of his hand deepens the itch traveling along the length of his cock almost too much, too intense and he wants Karl to come first, knowing Karl'll then push him flat and envelop Anton's dick in his mouth, stuffing a finger up Anton's ass and making him come so hard his toes will cramp. But it's not going to happen, Karl's fucking the back of his throat steadily, strong hands guiding his aching jaw and he's immersed in Karl's scent, Karl's taste, the heat of Karl's body against his skin is driving him higher and higher, too fast and he knows he's almost whining around Karl's dick with how much he needs this.
“Anton, oh God, fucking, Anton, fuck, I'm gonna come in your mouth, I'm going to fill your fucking mouth, you feel so, ah shit, you're gonna make me come so - hard - ”
A choked-out yowl as fingers tighten in his hair and Karl slams in hard, his pulsing, coming cock shooting thick wads of warm cum across the back of Anton's tongue and his hand speeds because it's overtaking him, this heavy, gut-deep climax that sends wave after wave of thrumming energy rushing over him. He comes and comes, it makes him shake and moan, and Karl pulls out of his mouth, stroking over his face with gentle thumbs and murmured endearments as he gratefully swallows the last of Karl's cum.
“Four months was too long. I can't believe you were missing out on that by choice for a whole month longer than we'd said.”
They've crawled up to the bed and he's lying across the white and blue quilt with his head on Karl's chest, playing with Karl's nipple hair and unable to stop grinning into his armpit.
“You know what, I think we did actually take only a minute. You remember I did explain about the extra month.”
“I know. Still pissed about it.”
“You don't look too pissed off about it.”
“No?”
“No.”
“I'll try harder.”
“Oh yeah. That's really mad, I can tell.”
He feels so happy right now and he knows it's dangerous but he can't stop himself and doesn't want to. It's like the greatest drug rush in the world, joy slithering through him and he hugs tighter into Karl, who turns onto his side for a full body cuddle. He learned pretty soon into the whole thing that Karl's the world's most enthusiastic cuddler, and he envelops Anton in a mass of lazy arms and legs, all warm skin and scent.
“How long before we should -”
He nods his head towards the door.
“Head back down? Oh, Nat's genuine about wanting to read the whole paper. It's her idea of heaven, newspaper and fresh coffee and no fighting kids. We've got ages till we're missed.”
“She's really downstairs reading the paper while we . . . ?”
“You're ridiculously cute when you're being all coy. Yeah, she's really reading the paper while you're laying all your hot Yelchin lovery on me.”
Karl's kissing his neck slowly, up and down, along his jaw and over his chin, up to his mouth. Anton opens up, slides his tongue out to meet Karl's as long, warm arms tighten around him, hands smoothing down his back to cup his ass and it's bliss, total perfection as they keep kissing on and on, lazy and slow. Break away to simply look at each other, Karl's eyes as beautiful and warm as they always are, his grin breaking out over and over as he drinks Anton in, stroking long fingers over his asscheeks like a memory map.
“I know this is weird for you, love. You simply have to trust me that it's okay. I'll tell you if it's ever not.”
He nods, the blush back in his cheeks and he rubs his face into Karl's gorgeous broad chest, just about his favorite thing in the entire world.
“I guess after John, and having to, y'know, hide from Kerri . . . and thanks for telling Natalie about John, by the way. That was a nice surprise.”
“She was curious why you and me hooked up now rather than earlier so I had to explain that, for a start, you were still in nappies, and also screwing John off and on for the longest time. All this only works if I'm honest with Nat and I'm not going to call to check on every last thing I tell her just to make sure it's okay with you. You agreed we'd be open with her.”
“I didn't realize it meant my personal shit, that's all. It's okay, she was okay about it. I just, I didn't expect it.”
A sweet, placatory kiss, Karl's nose rubbing against his as the hands on his ass pull him closer into Karl's pelvis, aligning their softened dicks for gentle contact.
“I'm sorry, I'll check on the big stuff. But you've got to get your head around that Tilly is the boss. Understand? Tilly is in charge. This, all this, only happens with her say so. We're only happy as long as Tilly's happy, and Tilly's happy if she knows exactly what's going on with who and when, because she's the General. She's the hive queen of the Urban tribe and we're only lowly worker bees. It's why she suggested this week.”
“Wait - this was Natalie's idea? I thought it was yours.”
“Nah mate, I'm not the ideas person, I'm just the packhorse. She knew we needed a break and the kids were due to visit with their grandma anyway, she knew I was pining like crazy for my boychick because I'm sad and obvious like that, and she really wanted to check you out. Gotta admit, the woman's a genius for cutting through the crap and getting stuff done. This way, I get to spend a bunch of time with you and she gets to form an up-close opinion of you.”
“No pressure, then.”
“She'll love you. She's going to mother the crap out of you, it'll drive you up the wall. Your job is to put up with it, be honest with her, and to be sexually available to my every whim.”
“I don't know about that last thing. It'll be tough.”
Karl's dick, getting hard now, rubbing against his as Karl rocks his hips against Anton's.
“Repeat after me - Tilly's the boss.”
“Tilly's the boss.”
“And Karl's the sexiest mofo I've ever been with. His every touch is like sexual heroin.”
“Karl's ego is out of control and needs taking down a notch or two.”
“Sexual. Heroin.”
Halfway through their third bottle of wine and Anton forgets to be nervous, almost crying with laughter as Natalie tells him tale after mortifying tale of the misadventures of Karl, while Karl looks on in a mix of annoyance and soft, smiling affection for them both.
“To be fair, now, I didn't know they were going to rip like that.”
“There were balls everywhere. Far as the eye could see so I'd hope you'd have worn underpants had you'd known. ”
“I think you know me better than that, love.”
He looks almost ridiculously pleased with himself, looking back and forth between Anton and his wife, the three of them around the battered table after dinner and Karl's all alight with pleasure. It almost physically pains him to admit it, even internally, but Anton realizes John was right, that he had Karl totally nailed.
“The thing you have to understand about Karl is he's like a big, bouncy dog. He just wants the people he likes around him and lots of petting. Then he's happy, his tail all up in the air and all that shit. You want to make Karl happy, just scritch his ass, call him a goofy name and give him a bone to chew on.”
“I don't want to talk to you about Karl.”
“Tough tooty, I totally got you guys together, I'm entitled.”
“John, you're entitled to precisely jack shit where I'm concerned.”
“Aww. You haven't forgiven me yet? But I'm so cute.”
“You forget I've experienced more than my fair share of your non-cute side.”
“Like such a thing exists. You're deluded. Are you high? I think you're hallucinating.”
“I'm hanging up the phone, John.”
“Man, I could go for some weed right now.”
“Goodbye John, a pleasure as always.”
John always knew Karl better than he did. All of them seemed to, Karl's so easygoing and everybody's friends with him, but he never seemed to click with Anton in the same way. The first time they meet, Anton just about managing to keep it together when Eomer, fucking Eomer shakes his hand and gives him this awesome cheeky grin, “Nice to meet you, I understand from JJ you're going to be outdoing me in the ludicrous accent stakes.” It just makes his stupid fanboy crush all the more inevitable. Then, during the worst weeks with John, watching Karl across the set laughing at something John's said to him and Anton can't help but think they're laughing over something about him. Although that's stupid and not true but it feels like it must be.
It's not like they even spend that much time with each other. They don't have that many scenes together and Karl's always over with Chris and Zach, all of them a little too tall and old and intimidatingly hot, basically. And he knows they must all think he's just some gross little slut to sleep with a married guy but he loves John, he can't help it. But Karl doesn't seem to judge him for it and those hot brown eyes seem to carry only sympathy for him in them, nothing else. Which doesn't exactly help, he doesn't want anybody's pity. The press junket and he's shoved together with John, over and over and John's fine with it, laughing and being John while inside Anton's going through unseen agonies and just trying to keep smiling. But the few times he sees Karl for more than a minute, an arm goes around his shoulders for a half-hug and quiet “Buck up, mate, you're going great guns. John's a fucking idiot.” And somehow the whole John thing doesn't hurt as much, for a little while at least, Karl a silent, solid presence close by in the days where he can't even smile for the cameras any more.
“I think we've got Anton nicely sozzled. Why don't you bugger off for a paddle so we can have a chat?”
“What, and miss out on you guys discussing how excellent I am? Not on your life. Plus, there's the issue of my having placed the most beautiful people from each hemisphere in a room together, and introduced alcohol. The world needs me to say vigilant, love. Who knows what could happen?”
The thing about Karl, again. It's clear as he says it, that he believes it totally, that he only has eyes for Natalie and also Anton, that they're nothing but miraculous to him. It makes it a little easier, perhaps. The whole day, watching them together, moving together with that unspoken vocabulary some couples seem to have, an intimate choreography that speaks of years of love, a bond that stretches through the space between them. Watching it, witnessing something he can't hope to have with Karl himself, bittersweet and he can't look away. Karl's told him about the set up, about the girlfriends he's had since he's been married, even a couple of guys. Short, passionate relationships that, Anton assumes, just burned out after awhile, while the marriage endures beyond everything else. Much as he wants it, he can't have that with Karl and it's been a heavy ache deep in his chest all day. But Karl looks at him now and he feels loved, even though he knows that he isn't, not really. In Karl's own way, perhaps.
“I mean it, push off. Just don't fall in the sea and drown, which would be typical of you when I don't have your life insurance stuff handy.”
“Your concern overwhelms me. I'm taking this,” reaching out to grab the wine bottle, “with me, and one of these,” leaning over Natalie for a drunken kiss, “and maybe one of these, too.”
Moving around the table to tilt Anton's head up by his chin and Anton's just drunk enough for it to be as arousing as it is horrible that Natalie's watching as Karl pushes his tongue past Anton's wine-stained lips for a quick, dirty kiss that tastes of I don't want to do this in front of your wife plus the garlic bread Karl heated through with pasta for dinner. Then he's swinging out the door and it's just the two of them now, Anton smiling nervously across at Natalie. This is never not going to be weird. He could be with Karl ten years and sitting across a table sharing a meal with his wife would still freak him out a little, he's sure of it.
“I wish you could see the difference in him, already. You're very good for him, he was being a right old misery guts. You're in love with him, aren't you?”
“Uhh . . .”
“I'm not about to jump across the table and smack you silly if you are.”
“Right. I guess. Yeah. I am. I'm sorry.”
“You told him?”
“No. Look, you're being so nice but I don't know if I can talk to you about this."
“We have got to get you more relaxed with this. Look at it from my point of view. Which would you rather, if you were me? Your husband fucking some hot little piece who is just after whatever they can get? Because, let me tell you, that's happened. Or would you prefer someone who seems like an okay person who you could get along with, and who actually loves your husband? Because that suggests to me that you want the best for him. And that's all I want. That's what all this is about, you, me, all of it - Karl's a sweetheart and deserves to be happy.”
He's shaking his head, understanding what she's saying but so unable to get how she can be so cool about it all, like she doesn't even care.
“I couldn't be like that. I'm too selfish, I suppose.”
“You don't want Karl to be happy when he's with me?”
“Oh. I guess so.”
“Honestly?”
“I don't want him to leave you for me, if that's what you mean. He'd be miserable. He misses you guys so much when he's over here without you. We've all seen it. I couldn't make up for losing you, even if I'd want to.”
“So you'd rather he was with me and happy, than have me out of the picture entirely? See? You do get where I'm coming from.” She digs around in the wine rack, starts to open yet another bottle of red.
“I suppose so, if you put it that way. But I still don't see how you wouldn't rather things were different.”
“I used to. Of course I did, I wanted him all to myself. He was honest about dating other people right from when we met, I suppose I just assumed it would stop one day. And it didn't, so I asked him to and he did, for me. For almost a couple of years, when Hunter was tiny. But he just - he wasn't himself. He was happy enough but he wasn't Karl. He's got this great big heart and it needs more than one person to carry it alone, I think. Some of the life went out of him. He's better for me, with me, when he's got someone on the side. He's better with the kids. He's more alive. He's happier and more settled. I don't know why but it works. Plus, you have the whole penis thing going for you. It's something I can't provide and, trust me, I've tried. So, you're adding something to the mix.”
She holds up her glass in a silent toast and he clinks his against hers, shy and puzzled, not sure how to respond.
“Thanks. I guess. I didn't know I was that obvious. I don't know. I still don't know if I can do this. I wasn't dealing very well with him being away.”
“We'll figure something out. He's different with you. Than with any of the others, I mean. You're special to him. I think you may be stuck with him, I'm afraid. Welcome to the club.”
Another toast, they smile at each other a little drunkenly, drink heavily and he's more than a little woozy now, on the edge of falling into proper intoxication.
“But. Listen up.” Pointing at him with the one finger not wrapped around her glass. “You break his heart and I'm coming after you. None of the others were that big a deal but, if this all goes tits up, he'll hurt and there's not much makes me more mad and more liable to maim than anyone hurting my family. You got me?”
“Jesus. Sure. God. You're a little scary.”
“Damn right I am.” She throws the rest of her glass back, pushes up to her feet with only a slight sway. “You have no idea. I'm not nearly as nice a person as Karl makes out.”
He doesn't know how to respond to that. “Right.”
“Leave the dishes, we'll stress about them tomorrow. I'm going to go soak in the tub for a million years then bed. He's all yours when he gets back, he'll probably be too pissed to do much more than snore anyway and I get enough of that already, you're welcome to it. Plus the bed at home usually has Karl plus the kids in it and I get one little corner, so it'll be like a spa weekend having it all to myself. Actually, unless something changes, you're welcome to him for the week. In the evenings, at least, I might claim occasional morning wood if the mood takes me. I come first. Literally. Remember that and we'll be fine.”
A touch of steel in her voice and he understands. Her prior claim, she can afford to be generous because she knows Karl's hers. She doesn't even have to say it out loud. A bright, slightly-lopsided grin, a smeary kiss on his cheek and a ruffle of his hair in that way people don't seem to be able to ever resist.
“Night night, baby boy. Don't let the Karl bite. Too much, anyway.”
He does the dishes anyway because his mother would expect him to, by hand as he needs something to do in the quiet house, the sound of breaking waves gentle on the slight breeze coming in through the open window. His minds wanders and, before he's had a chance to stop it, he imagines it, this being his and Karl's house, like domestic bliss has ever been anything he wanted before. It's not like he's even spent enough time with Karl to know if this would be possible, were things different. Snatched weekends here and there, an occasional week together when work allows, that's been it, so far. Not much to build daydreams on. He finishes the wine and puts the dry dishes away, hopefully in the right places then grabs his jacket, already rolling a smoke as he makes his way out of the little yard and through to the beach.
A heavy moon slightly yellow, glittering across a black sea, the wind stronger here lifting and dropping his hair back to his head. He's shaking his lighter and trying to make a windbreak with his jacket, cursing a little each time the flame flickers out until two big hands cup either side of his cigarette.
“There, that should do it.”
“Thanks. You want one?”
“Why smoke one of those ratty little things when you can smoke like a real man?”
Karl's digging through his utility jacket pockets, coming up with an inch-thick stubby cigar and a look of glee.
“That's a fucking smoke, mate.”
Ducking his head into Anton's body for protection as he lights it, sucking deeply and Karl's face is only semi-visible in the moonlight and one electric lamp hanging off the gate post by about three screws too few, maybe one of Karl's home improvements on the old beach house. But Anton feels every long draw on that cigar all along his dick. Everything's sexual now, with Karl. Especially stuff involving his mouth. They sit shoulder by shoulder on the dune, looking out to sea and smoking in silence, pressing against each other and Anton allows himself to let his head sink onto Karl's shoulder as an arm goes around his back. He's never been as comfortable with silence as he is with Karl, flicking the butt away and closing his eyes, breathing in the heady combination of the sea air, the cigar and Karl, warm and musky beneath it all. Then Karl's done and his mouth is seeking Anton's out, hands stroking up under his jacket and shirt and he's pulled into Karl's lap, Karl's mouth fastening over his Adam's apple to suck and bite. Fingers cup and squeeze at his ass as he works his way past Karl's belt and zipper to stuff a hand down his pants.
“Unless you've got some lube and a rubber stashed somewhere, we'd better go in. Plus, y'know. The whole sand issue.”
“Yeah? You want to fuck me?” He rocks his hips heavily in Karl's lap, earning himself a grunt and teeth at his neck.
“That was the general idea.” A bite at his earlobe and then along his jaw. “I'm pretty shocked I've made it to this evening without getting up in here.” A finger rubbing heavily along the seam of his pants that traces his ass crack.
Stumbling over his feet, both of them a little too drunk still, shushing each other too loud on seeing that Natalie's light is off, falling laughing into bed and now, Karl's mouth damp and soft at his neck, across his shoulders as Karl's fingers curl around his where he's jacking himself and Karl's big, glorious dick fucking into him slow and deep as he pushes back as hard as he can. It was always like this with Karl, right from the start, this easy, effortless intimacy that feels like something more than just a fuck, because that's how it's been with everyone else, just a fuck. It was always more with Karl. He drops his head forward and moans as Karl fucks him harder, faster now, moving to grip his hips making him bounce. He doesn't want to be loud, he hates the idea that Natalie might not be asleep and can hear his every gasp and groan above the low noise of the TV in the corner, the only light coming from its screen, flickering across his hand and he opens his eyes and stares at his fingers fisting in the sheets.
“Come on, love, I can feel you're close.”
“Yeah, fuck, Karl -”
“Tell me how close you are, you gonna come hard? Huh?”
His heart's too full, body too tense with his approaching climax and he can't talk right now, can only manage a low steady whispered pulse of fuck me fuck me fuck me, knowing Karl gets off on it, his voice rising as he starts to crest. He comes with a gasp, a quiet sob as Karl takes his cue to slam in as deep as he can to grind against his g-spot making each hot spurt of cum feel like it's tearing out of him, too much, too much, fuck . . . he's only half-aware of Karl stiffening behind him, a hand clasping hard on his shoulder and a spat-out curse as Karl comes, Anton too overcome to focus on anything but getting his breath back and the waves of sensation still breaking over him. Muttered words that feel like some sort of love and arms wrap around him loosely, a nose in his hair, breath making his neck feel wet and warm.
“It worried me a bit, you know, at first. You going all quiet like this after we finished. Until I got used to it, I thought you were pissed off or something. Or thought I was a crap screw.”
“No, I just space out when I come hard. You should take it as a compliment.”
“I know. It's sort of adorable.”
“Ugh.”
“I'm allowed to find you adorable. I am. You can't stop me.”
“You don't have to tell me, though. And you're the greatest fuck. You know that.”
“Yeah. Doesn't take a genius.”
Karl stretching out behind him and Anton can hear the smug pouring off the man. He pushes his way out of the embrace, up off the bed to walk through to the bathroom.
“Hey, can I smoke in here, if I lean out a window or something?”
“Yep. Wake me up when you come back, I'm going to close my eyes for a min.”
“Sure thing, Grandpa.”
Sitting on the toilet while his guts empty, smoking too fast, hands still a little shaky and he decides he'll trust Natalie. She could be fucking him over, knowing that Karl will run a fucking mile once Anton mentions love or anything to do with it. Just like John did. But Natalie seemed so genuine and, much as Anton's a shitty judge of character, he's been carrying this love around unspoken for five months now and it feels like it's eating a hole through his insides.
Karl wakes immediately that Anton touches his water-cold hands to his stomach.
“Watch it, that's chilly!”
“You wanted waking.”
“You're saying I asked for that? Your mind works in interesting ways.”
Another total body embrace, the Karl specialty. A kiss, something small that builds to more as most of their kisses do.
“How drunk are you?”
“Just a bit tipsy now, something sobered me up. Can't think what.”
“You see, I wanted to - I wanted to say -”
He can't get it out, it fills his throat and expands, too huge, such a big thing to say to someone when you're terrified you'll be driving them away. Karl hushes him, soothes him with a deeper kiss, a hushed murmur in the quiet dark of the room now the TV's off.
“It's okay. Don't you know? It feels like it's written all over me.”
It's like something heavy is sitting on his chest, he can't even breathe.
“What is?” His voice has that husky edge to it.
“That I love you. That I'm so in love with you I'm cross-eyed with it.”
“God. Karl.” He stuffs his face into Karl's neck, cheeks burning and he can't say a word.
“It's okay, you don't have to - especially if you don't, you know, feel the same way, you don't have say it back. But I thought maybe that's what you were trying to come out with.”
It was. He says it against Karl's neck and it's all muffled but he feels Karl's arms tighten around him in response. You told Natalie?
“Fuck, Anton, I'm not going to tell Tilly before I tell you.”
“Well, I don't know how this works, do I?”
“Neither do I. Not this bit, this is new territory for me, it's never been a love thing before. You sexy fucker, coming along overcomplicating everything. I need to talk to her in the morning, though.”
“I think she knows. She had me figured out.”
“Oh, probably. I swear she has witchery in her lineage or something. She's a little frightening that way.”
“You said it, not me.”
He's drifting now, a slight smile warming his face as he tucks further into Karl, a rough hand stroking over his back, feels the rumble across Karl's chest that accompanies an instruction to not worry about it now, go to sleep.
“Way ahead of you, old man.”
Pairing: Karl/Anton (references to Karl/Natalie and John/Anton)
Rating: NC-17
Length: 6100 words
Warnings: None
Summary: In the spirit of openness, Anton agrees to spend a week's vacation with Karl and his wife. This is day one. Follows on from The Yelchin Predicament
It's not Karl who opens the door and Anton's heart leaps one further inch into his mouth as Karl's wife appears out from behind it and gives him the exact same sunny smile she's given him the other few times they've met before.
“Oh, you're here! Come on in, Karl's popped out as we didn't know how long you'd take to arrive and, well, anyway, come in.”
“Thanks. Sorry. Am I early, then?”
“No, no. Course not. Just dump your bag here, I'll show you your room in a bit if Karl's not back.”
He does as she says, dropping his bag where he stands and following her through to a living room. It smells a little like Karl mixed in with wood smoke from the burner in the corner and Anton can't stop himself taking a deep breath in through his nose, giving Natalie a tentative smile again when it makes her look over to him.
“Let's get comfy, I doubt Karl'll be long and then we'll talk about lunch. You want something to drink?”
Hard alcohol. “Water?”
“Is that it? You wouldn't prefer a coffee? Something fizzy?”
“Coffee would be good, thanks.”
“Right. I'll get the kettle on, come through and talk to me.”
He puts on his best meeting-the-parents smile although this is totally something different and several degrees more uncomfortable, and he keeps along behind her, through a tiny dining area to a little wooden kitchen. Fucking Karl. His chest feels like it's cramping with longing, almost four months now since he's seen Karl and an unexpected further delay of no matter how many minutes is, like, total fucking torture. Would it have killed him to stick around until Anton arrived? It makes Anton wonder if it's somehow on purpose, dumping him and Natalie together so Karl doesn't have to be around for any ugliness. Although, with Natalie chatting about his drive up and the weather and their flight over, it's not so ugly. Weird and, for Anton at least, excruciating, but not ugly. Almost pleasant, if you came in on it and had no idea what was happening.
“God, listen to me yakking on. How do you take it?”
Anton's brain concludes that now's the time to make a dirty joke and he has to bite his lip to prevent himself from blurting out the obvious. “Just white. Thanks. It's a beautiful place, I like this kitchen.”
“Wait till you've seen the whole house. Karl did most of the work.”
“Yeah? That's pretty amazing.”
“Yeah. Then I paid someone to come in and fix it all.”
They both laugh, Anton more than a little awkwardly he knows, a stupid shrill giggle and she looks him over, chews the inside of her cheek for a moment as if considering whether or not to continue.
“Listen, Anton, I know this is all pretty new to you. The wife being in on it, I mean, but it's okay. It really is.”
He feels the ever-hated flush sweeping up his neck to engulf his face and it's so hot he feels dizzy for a minute, not knowing where to look. He focuses on the toe of one of his shoes and nods, tries to keep his voice calm.
“He told you? About . . .”
“About John? There's not much Karl doesn't tell me, sorry. Only in context with you and him. But I can keep a secret and I'm the last person to judge so, honestly, don't stress it.”
“God. Right. Thanks.”
“No prob. We'll talk more about the whole Karl situation. Later, once you've settled in a bit.”
That doesn't sound like a conversation he wants to have. But he can hear the front door open and then slam close, and his heart jumps right back into his throat as he scrambles to his feet, almost spilling the coffee over his hand in the process. He puts the mug down, his hands shaking.
“Hey, I saw a car out front! Is he here?”
“We're in the kitchen!”
Karl, it's Karl's voice, he's here and Anton's suppressing the urge to run through to find him, knowing that Nat's watching him with his eyes and face all lit up. And there he is as the kitchen door opens, dumping two grocery store bags hurriedly on the counter and he's paler than when Anton last saw him, all crinkly eyes, dimpled grin and patchy beard, sweeping Anton up into a bear hug.
“Fuck, you're a sight for sore eyes. Give us a cuddle.”
Bristles scrubbing across his neck as Karl shoves his face in there, arms tightening around him even more and he closes his eyes and hangs on, no choice in the matter at all, clinging to Karl like a wet shirt. One small, soft, nuzzly kiss with no tongue or anything too embarrassing in front of Natalie but it still holds a thousand times enough power to shatter every single promise that Anton's made to himself over not being in love with Karl, because it would be stupid to be in love with Karl because Karl's married and, fuck, when the fucking hell is he going to stop falling in love with emotionally unobtainable men? But Karl pulls away, cups Anton's face in big, warm hands and smiles at him, and Anton knows he's been lying to himself this whole time. Four months apart and nothing's changed, much as he'd hoped and dreaded it would.
“Your hair's longer.”
The fuck do you get off, leaving me to mope over you not being there for nearly four months, then here with your wife for the longest ten minutes of my entire fucking life? “Hair does that.”
“Smartypants. You're earlier than we thought you'd be.”
I couldn't sleep, knowing I was going to see you again so was on the road by five. Fuck sleep, I couldn't even eat and my stomach's a gnawing, churning pit of acid right now. “There wasn't much traffic.”
The twinkle deep in Karl's eyes says it all and Anton drops his head in sudden, overwhelming arousal only to get tugged into another hug, a kiss on top of his head.
“I missed you. Fuck, so much. Shown him around yet?”
I missed you like I was dying and there's no way I'm saying it in front of your wife. “I just got here myself, like, a minute or so ago.”
“Come on then, I'll give you the tour and show you your room. Back in a min.”
“We all know it takes you more than a minute these days, love. Don't sweat it, go have fun. I'm going to go sit in the garden and read the paper cover to cover for the first time in a decade.”
“Are you calling me past it?”
She inclines her head in a furiously blushing Anton's direction, a slight tone of something he can't put his finger on in her voice.
“We have proof enough over there that's not the case, don't you think? Go on, bugger off, get out from under my feet.”
Karl pauses long enough to grab Anton's bag as he drags Anton stumbling up the stairs, shoving a door open with his hip and Anton briefly registers a pretty blue and white guest room before Karl has kicked the door shut and grabbed him with a growled Come here, you.
Tongue, and lips, mouth all wet and tasting of Karl, Karl's scent in his nostrils, warm, smiling eyes looking deeply into his whenever they pull apart. Shoulders broad and strong under his hands as he pushes his way fast into Karl's shirt to touch whatever skin he can, Karl's chest when he finally fights the shirt off him and Karl's laughing into his mouth now, Karl's thick, muscular thigh rubbing against his hard-on.
“It's okay, we have actually got more than a minute. I was only joking.”
“Shut up. Get naked.”
“Jeez. Bossy.”
“Horny, Karl. Really fucking horny.”
They're a mess of fumbling, stroking hands and discarded clothing, and part of Anton is so sure this is wrong, to drop to his knees and bury his face in Karl's bush like this when his wife is downstairs, but Karl rubs against his mouth and he's burning up with it, jacking himself off already as he sucks Karl's beautiful big dick into his mouth. A hiss from somewhere above him as big hands cover his head in a blessing, mussing his hair,
“Fuck, sweetheart, you're, fuck -”
Broken off with a low moan as he takes Karl all the way down, a sigh and following shiver through Karl and it makes his heart ache, as much as his dick gets harder still with every drop of distilled flavor Karl leaks across his tongue. He's so turned on that each fast stroke of his hand deepens the itch traveling along the length of his cock almost too much, too intense and he wants Karl to come first, knowing Karl'll then push him flat and envelop Anton's dick in his mouth, stuffing a finger up Anton's ass and making him come so hard his toes will cramp. But it's not going to happen, Karl's fucking the back of his throat steadily, strong hands guiding his aching jaw and he's immersed in Karl's scent, Karl's taste, the heat of Karl's body against his skin is driving him higher and higher, too fast and he knows he's almost whining around Karl's dick with how much he needs this.
“Anton, oh God, fucking, Anton, fuck, I'm gonna come in your mouth, I'm going to fill your fucking mouth, you feel so, ah shit, you're gonna make me come so - hard - ”
A choked-out yowl as fingers tighten in his hair and Karl slams in hard, his pulsing, coming cock shooting thick wads of warm cum across the back of Anton's tongue and his hand speeds because it's overtaking him, this heavy, gut-deep climax that sends wave after wave of thrumming energy rushing over him. He comes and comes, it makes him shake and moan, and Karl pulls out of his mouth, stroking over his face with gentle thumbs and murmured endearments as he gratefully swallows the last of Karl's cum.
“Four months was too long. I can't believe you were missing out on that by choice for a whole month longer than we'd said.”
They've crawled up to the bed and he's lying across the white and blue quilt with his head on Karl's chest, playing with Karl's nipple hair and unable to stop grinning into his armpit.
“You know what, I think we did actually take only a minute. You remember I did explain about the extra month.”
“I know. Still pissed about it.”
“You don't look too pissed off about it.”
“No?”
“No.”
“I'll try harder.”
“Oh yeah. That's really mad, I can tell.”
He feels so happy right now and he knows it's dangerous but he can't stop himself and doesn't want to. It's like the greatest drug rush in the world, joy slithering through him and he hugs tighter into Karl, who turns onto his side for a full body cuddle. He learned pretty soon into the whole thing that Karl's the world's most enthusiastic cuddler, and he envelops Anton in a mass of lazy arms and legs, all warm skin and scent.
“How long before we should -”
He nods his head towards the door.
“Head back down? Oh, Nat's genuine about wanting to read the whole paper. It's her idea of heaven, newspaper and fresh coffee and no fighting kids. We've got ages till we're missed.”
“She's really downstairs reading the paper while we . . . ?”
“You're ridiculously cute when you're being all coy. Yeah, she's really reading the paper while you're laying all your hot Yelchin lovery on me.”
Karl's kissing his neck slowly, up and down, along his jaw and over his chin, up to his mouth. Anton opens up, slides his tongue out to meet Karl's as long, warm arms tighten around him, hands smoothing down his back to cup his ass and it's bliss, total perfection as they keep kissing on and on, lazy and slow. Break away to simply look at each other, Karl's eyes as beautiful and warm as they always are, his grin breaking out over and over as he drinks Anton in, stroking long fingers over his asscheeks like a memory map.
“I know this is weird for you, love. You simply have to trust me that it's okay. I'll tell you if it's ever not.”
He nods, the blush back in his cheeks and he rubs his face into Karl's gorgeous broad chest, just about his favorite thing in the entire world.
“I guess after John, and having to, y'know, hide from Kerri . . . and thanks for telling Natalie about John, by the way. That was a nice surprise.”
“She was curious why you and me hooked up now rather than earlier so I had to explain that, for a start, you were still in nappies, and also screwing John off and on for the longest time. All this only works if I'm honest with Nat and I'm not going to call to check on every last thing I tell her just to make sure it's okay with you. You agreed we'd be open with her.”
“I didn't realize it meant my personal shit, that's all. It's okay, she was okay about it. I just, I didn't expect it.”
A sweet, placatory kiss, Karl's nose rubbing against his as the hands on his ass pull him closer into Karl's pelvis, aligning their softened dicks for gentle contact.
“I'm sorry, I'll check on the big stuff. But you've got to get your head around that Tilly is the boss. Understand? Tilly is in charge. This, all this, only happens with her say so. We're only happy as long as Tilly's happy, and Tilly's happy if she knows exactly what's going on with who and when, because she's the General. She's the hive queen of the Urban tribe and we're only lowly worker bees. It's why she suggested this week.”
“Wait - this was Natalie's idea? I thought it was yours.”
“Nah mate, I'm not the ideas person, I'm just the packhorse. She knew we needed a break and the kids were due to visit with their grandma anyway, she knew I was pining like crazy for my boychick because I'm sad and obvious like that, and she really wanted to check you out. Gotta admit, the woman's a genius for cutting through the crap and getting stuff done. This way, I get to spend a bunch of time with you and she gets to form an up-close opinion of you.”
“No pressure, then.”
“She'll love you. She's going to mother the crap out of you, it'll drive you up the wall. Your job is to put up with it, be honest with her, and to be sexually available to my every whim.”
“I don't know about that last thing. It'll be tough.”
Karl's dick, getting hard now, rubbing against his as Karl rocks his hips against Anton's.
“Repeat after me - Tilly's the boss.”
“Tilly's the boss.”
“And Karl's the sexiest mofo I've ever been with. His every touch is like sexual heroin.”
“Karl's ego is out of control and needs taking down a notch or two.”
“Sexual. Heroin.”
Halfway through their third bottle of wine and Anton forgets to be nervous, almost crying with laughter as Natalie tells him tale after mortifying tale of the misadventures of Karl, while Karl looks on in a mix of annoyance and soft, smiling affection for them both.
“To be fair, now, I didn't know they were going to rip like that.”
“There were balls everywhere. Far as the eye could see so I'd hope you'd have worn underpants had you'd known. ”
“I think you know me better than that, love.”
He looks almost ridiculously pleased with himself, looking back and forth between Anton and his wife, the three of them around the battered table after dinner and Karl's all alight with pleasure. It almost physically pains him to admit it, even internally, but Anton realizes John was right, that he had Karl totally nailed.
“The thing you have to understand about Karl is he's like a big, bouncy dog. He just wants the people he likes around him and lots of petting. Then he's happy, his tail all up in the air and all that shit. You want to make Karl happy, just scritch his ass, call him a goofy name and give him a bone to chew on.”
“I don't want to talk to you about Karl.”
“Tough tooty, I totally got you guys together, I'm entitled.”
“John, you're entitled to precisely jack shit where I'm concerned.”
“Aww. You haven't forgiven me yet? But I'm so cute.”
“You forget I've experienced more than my fair share of your non-cute side.”
“Like such a thing exists. You're deluded. Are you high? I think you're hallucinating.”
“I'm hanging up the phone, John.”
“Man, I could go for some weed right now.”
“Goodbye John, a pleasure as always.”
John always knew Karl better than he did. All of them seemed to, Karl's so easygoing and everybody's friends with him, but he never seemed to click with Anton in the same way. The first time they meet, Anton just about managing to keep it together when Eomer, fucking Eomer shakes his hand and gives him this awesome cheeky grin, “Nice to meet you, I understand from JJ you're going to be outdoing me in the ludicrous accent stakes.” It just makes his stupid fanboy crush all the more inevitable. Then, during the worst weeks with John, watching Karl across the set laughing at something John's said to him and Anton can't help but think they're laughing over something about him. Although that's stupid and not true but it feels like it must be.
It's not like they even spend that much time with each other. They don't have that many scenes together and Karl's always over with Chris and Zach, all of them a little too tall and old and intimidatingly hot, basically. And he knows they must all think he's just some gross little slut to sleep with a married guy but he loves John, he can't help it. But Karl doesn't seem to judge him for it and those hot brown eyes seem to carry only sympathy for him in them, nothing else. Which doesn't exactly help, he doesn't want anybody's pity. The press junket and he's shoved together with John, over and over and John's fine with it, laughing and being John while inside Anton's going through unseen agonies and just trying to keep smiling. But the few times he sees Karl for more than a minute, an arm goes around his shoulders for a half-hug and quiet “Buck up, mate, you're going great guns. John's a fucking idiot.” And somehow the whole John thing doesn't hurt as much, for a little while at least, Karl a silent, solid presence close by in the days where he can't even smile for the cameras any more.
“I think we've got Anton nicely sozzled. Why don't you bugger off for a paddle so we can have a chat?”
“What, and miss out on you guys discussing how excellent I am? Not on your life. Plus, there's the issue of my having placed the most beautiful people from each hemisphere in a room together, and introduced alcohol. The world needs me to say vigilant, love. Who knows what could happen?”
The thing about Karl, again. It's clear as he says it, that he believes it totally, that he only has eyes for Natalie and also Anton, that they're nothing but miraculous to him. It makes it a little easier, perhaps. The whole day, watching them together, moving together with that unspoken vocabulary some couples seem to have, an intimate choreography that speaks of years of love, a bond that stretches through the space between them. Watching it, witnessing something he can't hope to have with Karl himself, bittersweet and he can't look away. Karl's told him about the set up, about the girlfriends he's had since he's been married, even a couple of guys. Short, passionate relationships that, Anton assumes, just burned out after awhile, while the marriage endures beyond everything else. Much as he wants it, he can't have that with Karl and it's been a heavy ache deep in his chest all day. But Karl looks at him now and he feels loved, even though he knows that he isn't, not really. In Karl's own way, perhaps.
“I mean it, push off. Just don't fall in the sea and drown, which would be typical of you when I don't have your life insurance stuff handy.”
“Your concern overwhelms me. I'm taking this,” reaching out to grab the wine bottle, “with me, and one of these,” leaning over Natalie for a drunken kiss, “and maybe one of these, too.”
Moving around the table to tilt Anton's head up by his chin and Anton's just drunk enough for it to be as arousing as it is horrible that Natalie's watching as Karl pushes his tongue past Anton's wine-stained lips for a quick, dirty kiss that tastes of I don't want to do this in front of your wife plus the garlic bread Karl heated through with pasta for dinner. Then he's swinging out the door and it's just the two of them now, Anton smiling nervously across at Natalie. This is never not going to be weird. He could be with Karl ten years and sitting across a table sharing a meal with his wife would still freak him out a little, he's sure of it.
“I wish you could see the difference in him, already. You're very good for him, he was being a right old misery guts. You're in love with him, aren't you?”
“Uhh . . .”
“I'm not about to jump across the table and smack you silly if you are.”
“Right. I guess. Yeah. I am. I'm sorry.”
“You told him?”
“No. Look, you're being so nice but I don't know if I can talk to you about this."
“We have got to get you more relaxed with this. Look at it from my point of view. Which would you rather, if you were me? Your husband fucking some hot little piece who is just after whatever they can get? Because, let me tell you, that's happened. Or would you prefer someone who seems like an okay person who you could get along with, and who actually loves your husband? Because that suggests to me that you want the best for him. And that's all I want. That's what all this is about, you, me, all of it - Karl's a sweetheart and deserves to be happy.”
He's shaking his head, understanding what she's saying but so unable to get how she can be so cool about it all, like she doesn't even care.
“I couldn't be like that. I'm too selfish, I suppose.”
“You don't want Karl to be happy when he's with me?”
“Oh. I guess so.”
“Honestly?”
“I don't want him to leave you for me, if that's what you mean. He'd be miserable. He misses you guys so much when he's over here without you. We've all seen it. I couldn't make up for losing you, even if I'd want to.”
“So you'd rather he was with me and happy, than have me out of the picture entirely? See? You do get where I'm coming from.” She digs around in the wine rack, starts to open yet another bottle of red.
“I suppose so, if you put it that way. But I still don't see how you wouldn't rather things were different.”
“I used to. Of course I did, I wanted him all to myself. He was honest about dating other people right from when we met, I suppose I just assumed it would stop one day. And it didn't, so I asked him to and he did, for me. For almost a couple of years, when Hunter was tiny. But he just - he wasn't himself. He was happy enough but he wasn't Karl. He's got this great big heart and it needs more than one person to carry it alone, I think. Some of the life went out of him. He's better for me, with me, when he's got someone on the side. He's better with the kids. He's more alive. He's happier and more settled. I don't know why but it works. Plus, you have the whole penis thing going for you. It's something I can't provide and, trust me, I've tried. So, you're adding something to the mix.”
She holds up her glass in a silent toast and he clinks his against hers, shy and puzzled, not sure how to respond.
“Thanks. I guess. I didn't know I was that obvious. I don't know. I still don't know if I can do this. I wasn't dealing very well with him being away.”
“We'll figure something out. He's different with you. Than with any of the others, I mean. You're special to him. I think you may be stuck with him, I'm afraid. Welcome to the club.”
Another toast, they smile at each other a little drunkenly, drink heavily and he's more than a little woozy now, on the edge of falling into proper intoxication.
“But. Listen up.” Pointing at him with the one finger not wrapped around her glass. “You break his heart and I'm coming after you. None of the others were that big a deal but, if this all goes tits up, he'll hurt and there's not much makes me more mad and more liable to maim than anyone hurting my family. You got me?”
“Jesus. Sure. God. You're a little scary.”
“Damn right I am.” She throws the rest of her glass back, pushes up to her feet with only a slight sway. “You have no idea. I'm not nearly as nice a person as Karl makes out.”
He doesn't know how to respond to that. “Right.”
“Leave the dishes, we'll stress about them tomorrow. I'm going to go soak in the tub for a million years then bed. He's all yours when he gets back, he'll probably be too pissed to do much more than snore anyway and I get enough of that already, you're welcome to it. Plus the bed at home usually has Karl plus the kids in it and I get one little corner, so it'll be like a spa weekend having it all to myself. Actually, unless something changes, you're welcome to him for the week. In the evenings, at least, I might claim occasional morning wood if the mood takes me. I come first. Literally. Remember that and we'll be fine.”
A touch of steel in her voice and he understands. Her prior claim, she can afford to be generous because she knows Karl's hers. She doesn't even have to say it out loud. A bright, slightly-lopsided grin, a smeary kiss on his cheek and a ruffle of his hair in that way people don't seem to be able to ever resist.
“Night night, baby boy. Don't let the Karl bite. Too much, anyway.”
He does the dishes anyway because his mother would expect him to, by hand as he needs something to do in the quiet house, the sound of breaking waves gentle on the slight breeze coming in through the open window. His minds wanders and, before he's had a chance to stop it, he imagines it, this being his and Karl's house, like domestic bliss has ever been anything he wanted before. It's not like he's even spent enough time with Karl to know if this would be possible, were things different. Snatched weekends here and there, an occasional week together when work allows, that's been it, so far. Not much to build daydreams on. He finishes the wine and puts the dry dishes away, hopefully in the right places then grabs his jacket, already rolling a smoke as he makes his way out of the little yard and through to the beach.
A heavy moon slightly yellow, glittering across a black sea, the wind stronger here lifting and dropping his hair back to his head. He's shaking his lighter and trying to make a windbreak with his jacket, cursing a little each time the flame flickers out until two big hands cup either side of his cigarette.
“There, that should do it.”
“Thanks. You want one?”
“Why smoke one of those ratty little things when you can smoke like a real man?”
Karl's digging through his utility jacket pockets, coming up with an inch-thick stubby cigar and a look of glee.
“That's a fucking smoke, mate.”
Ducking his head into Anton's body for protection as he lights it, sucking deeply and Karl's face is only semi-visible in the moonlight and one electric lamp hanging off the gate post by about three screws too few, maybe one of Karl's home improvements on the old beach house. But Anton feels every long draw on that cigar all along his dick. Everything's sexual now, with Karl. Especially stuff involving his mouth. They sit shoulder by shoulder on the dune, looking out to sea and smoking in silence, pressing against each other and Anton allows himself to let his head sink onto Karl's shoulder as an arm goes around his back. He's never been as comfortable with silence as he is with Karl, flicking the butt away and closing his eyes, breathing in the heady combination of the sea air, the cigar and Karl, warm and musky beneath it all. Then Karl's done and his mouth is seeking Anton's out, hands stroking up under his jacket and shirt and he's pulled into Karl's lap, Karl's mouth fastening over his Adam's apple to suck and bite. Fingers cup and squeeze at his ass as he works his way past Karl's belt and zipper to stuff a hand down his pants.
“Unless you've got some lube and a rubber stashed somewhere, we'd better go in. Plus, y'know. The whole sand issue.”
“Yeah? You want to fuck me?” He rocks his hips heavily in Karl's lap, earning himself a grunt and teeth at his neck.
“That was the general idea.” A bite at his earlobe and then along his jaw. “I'm pretty shocked I've made it to this evening without getting up in here.” A finger rubbing heavily along the seam of his pants that traces his ass crack.
Stumbling over his feet, both of them a little too drunk still, shushing each other too loud on seeing that Natalie's light is off, falling laughing into bed and now, Karl's mouth damp and soft at his neck, across his shoulders as Karl's fingers curl around his where he's jacking himself and Karl's big, glorious dick fucking into him slow and deep as he pushes back as hard as he can. It was always like this with Karl, right from the start, this easy, effortless intimacy that feels like something more than just a fuck, because that's how it's been with everyone else, just a fuck. It was always more with Karl. He drops his head forward and moans as Karl fucks him harder, faster now, moving to grip his hips making him bounce. He doesn't want to be loud, he hates the idea that Natalie might not be asleep and can hear his every gasp and groan above the low noise of the TV in the corner, the only light coming from its screen, flickering across his hand and he opens his eyes and stares at his fingers fisting in the sheets.
“Come on, love, I can feel you're close.”
“Yeah, fuck, Karl -”
“Tell me how close you are, you gonna come hard? Huh?”
His heart's too full, body too tense with his approaching climax and he can't talk right now, can only manage a low steady whispered pulse of fuck me fuck me fuck me, knowing Karl gets off on it, his voice rising as he starts to crest. He comes with a gasp, a quiet sob as Karl takes his cue to slam in as deep as he can to grind against his g-spot making each hot spurt of cum feel like it's tearing out of him, too much, too much, fuck . . . he's only half-aware of Karl stiffening behind him, a hand clasping hard on his shoulder and a spat-out curse as Karl comes, Anton too overcome to focus on anything but getting his breath back and the waves of sensation still breaking over him. Muttered words that feel like some sort of love and arms wrap around him loosely, a nose in his hair, breath making his neck feel wet and warm.
“It worried me a bit, you know, at first. You going all quiet like this after we finished. Until I got used to it, I thought you were pissed off or something. Or thought I was a crap screw.”
“No, I just space out when I come hard. You should take it as a compliment.”
“I know. It's sort of adorable.”
“Ugh.”
“I'm allowed to find you adorable. I am. You can't stop me.”
“You don't have to tell me, though. And you're the greatest fuck. You know that.”
“Yeah. Doesn't take a genius.”
Karl stretching out behind him and Anton can hear the smug pouring off the man. He pushes his way out of the embrace, up off the bed to walk through to the bathroom.
“Hey, can I smoke in here, if I lean out a window or something?”
“Yep. Wake me up when you come back, I'm going to close my eyes for a min.”
“Sure thing, Grandpa.”
Sitting on the toilet while his guts empty, smoking too fast, hands still a little shaky and he decides he'll trust Natalie. She could be fucking him over, knowing that Karl will run a fucking mile once Anton mentions love or anything to do with it. Just like John did. But Natalie seemed so genuine and, much as Anton's a shitty judge of character, he's been carrying this love around unspoken for five months now and it feels like it's eating a hole through his insides.
Karl wakes immediately that Anton touches his water-cold hands to his stomach.
“Watch it, that's chilly!”
“You wanted waking.”
“You're saying I asked for that? Your mind works in interesting ways.”
Another total body embrace, the Karl specialty. A kiss, something small that builds to more as most of their kisses do.
“How drunk are you?”
“Just a bit tipsy now, something sobered me up. Can't think what.”
“You see, I wanted to - I wanted to say -”
He can't get it out, it fills his throat and expands, too huge, such a big thing to say to someone when you're terrified you'll be driving them away. Karl hushes him, soothes him with a deeper kiss, a hushed murmur in the quiet dark of the room now the TV's off.
“It's okay. Don't you know? It feels like it's written all over me.”
It's like something heavy is sitting on his chest, he can't even breathe.
“What is?” His voice has that husky edge to it.
“That I love you. That I'm so in love with you I'm cross-eyed with it.”
“God. Karl.” He stuffs his face into Karl's neck, cheeks burning and he can't say a word.
“It's okay, you don't have to - especially if you don't, you know, feel the same way, you don't have say it back. But I thought maybe that's what you were trying to come out with.”
It was. He says it against Karl's neck and it's all muffled but he feels Karl's arms tighten around him in response. You told Natalie?
“Fuck, Anton, I'm not going to tell Tilly before I tell you.”
“Well, I don't know how this works, do I?”
“Neither do I. Not this bit, this is new territory for me, it's never been a love thing before. You sexy fucker, coming along overcomplicating everything. I need to talk to her in the morning, though.”
“I think she knows. She had me figured out.”
“Oh, probably. I swear she has witchery in her lineage or something. She's a little frightening that way.”
“You said it, not me.”
He's drifting now, a slight smile warming his face as he tucks further into Karl, a rough hand stroking over his back, feels the rumble across Karl's chest that accompanies an instruction to not worry about it now, go to sleep.
“Way ahead of you, old man.”