Letters from Watts, Sunday, June 24, 2007 10:25 p.m.
(I wrote this last night, but I had no internet so I'm just posting it now.)
Tonight is my first night in Watts. I'm sitting here in my third story apartment with my fan humming and Timmy Canoe reclining on my bed next to me. The projects border lie directly beneath us with their barred windows and tiny, square lawns. Ropes of freeways are knotted around us on all sides. I haven't heard any gunshots yet. Instead, something beautiful is happening as I type. Fireworks are bursting in the sky right outside my window--so close that I could reach out my hand and some colorful sparks might land gently in my palm. Julie (my new roommate) and I have been standing at the window speculating what it would be like if all the gunshots in Watts were turned into fireworks.
I don't want to say too much tonight. After all, I just got here. Tomorrow more will be revealed, but tonight I am content.
Still, I will never forget this afternoon as long as I live...driving east down the 105 with everything in my stomach quivering with fear, confusion, and nervous uncertainty. I felt like Daniel being tossed head first into the lions' den, or Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego plunging deep into the fiery furnace. There are time in my life which I look back on and all I can remember is the frightening emptiness in my stomach laced by an eggshell of fear...and only the words, "Father, help me to trust you," pouring from my mouth again, and again, and again. Those are the moments I live for...the moments when I know my life is not my own.
Tonight is my first night in Watts. I'm sitting here in my third story apartment with my fan humming and Timmy Canoe reclining on my bed next to me. The projects border lie directly beneath us with their barred windows and tiny, square lawns. Ropes of freeways are knotted around us on all sides. I haven't heard any gunshots yet. Instead, something beautiful is happening as I type. Fireworks are bursting in the sky right outside my window--so close that I could reach out my hand and some colorful sparks might land gently in my palm. Julie (my new roommate) and I have been standing at the window speculating what it would be like if all the gunshots in Watts were turned into fireworks.
I don't want to say too much tonight. After all, I just got here. Tomorrow more will be revealed, but tonight I am content.
Still, I will never forget this afternoon as long as I live...driving east down the 105 with everything in my stomach quivering with fear, confusion, and nervous uncertainty. I felt like Daniel being tossed head first into the lions' den, or Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego plunging deep into the fiery furnace. There are time in my life which I look back on and all I can remember is the frightening emptiness in my stomach laced by an eggshell of fear...and only the words, "Father, help me to trust you," pouring from my mouth again, and again, and again. Those are the moments I live for...the moments when I know my life is not my own.