Some thoughts on the [near] end of the year
Yep, I told myself many times: "Yea, that's life! Yes, people is like that!" They just come when they are in need, they just come when they have something need me to help them.
Now, when I am desperate, they ignore my plead. I can just smile bitterly in my tears. I feel the emptiness inside me is so big, I was crying at night. But I can't help it. When I saw someone need me, I just unconsciously help them, just unconsciously give my hands out. And then get the hurt for myself. I know that, but I can't help it, I am not regret. I just sad sometimes, then I will forget that pain and once again got hurt, and then forget....
Buddha said, maybe in the previous life, I owed them - the people that hurt me; now, I have to repay them. Thinking that give me the strength to move on, if I don't think that, I will collapse immediately, I convinced myself everyday like that. I accept the harsh of life, accept the hurt people gave me. I try my best to do good things, I love animals, I help people, I love and care for my family and my friends, I concentrate on study and work, I try to not hurt or harm anyone. I wish that when I do enough good deeds, my family and friends will be safe and healthy, my next life will be in peace somehow. I just wish that simple things.
New year is on the way. I will go to the pagoda to pray that my family, my friends in real life and on the Internet, will be safe, happy and healthy. I love you, my friends *hugs and kisses* I love you very much.
Now, when I am desperate, they ignore my plead. I can just smile bitterly in my tears. I feel the emptiness inside me is so big, I was crying at night. But I can't help it. When I saw someone need me, I just unconsciously help them, just unconsciously give my hands out. And then get the hurt for myself. I know that, but I can't help it, I am not regret. I just sad sometimes, then I will forget that pain and once again got hurt, and then forget....
Buddha said, maybe in the previous life, I owed them - the people that hurt me; now, I have to repay them. Thinking that give me the strength to move on, if I don't think that, I will collapse immediately, I convinced myself everyday like that. I accept the harsh of life, accept the hurt people gave me. I try my best to do good things, I love animals, I help people, I love and care for my family and my friends, I concentrate on study and work, I try to not hurt or harm anyone. I wish that when I do enough good deeds, my family and friends will be safe and healthy, my next life will be in peace somehow. I just wish that simple things.
New year is on the way. I will go to the pagoda to pray that my family, my friends in real life and on the Internet, will be safe, happy and healthy. I love you, my friends *hugs and kisses* I love you very much.