Ghetto Misadventures Never Disappoint
So the past 36 hours have been filled to the brim with stories.
Let's start with work.
Jeff and I had the opening to 6 shift, and it all started normally enough. Then Nathan Lilly threw a prissy fit because he had to work in concessions and somehow broke his side of concession's popcorn maker (well I assume he broke it) so his side had to come steal Jeff and my's side's popcorn. That got old really fast. Like I understand that they needed it, but goddamn, Jeff was had a batch in the cooker for like 45 minutes straight and they stole like 75% of them. Plus we still had customers (more than we should have for a Sunday). After awhile when it slowed down for a little bit, the entire other side of concessions took at 20 minute smoke break, leaving us to deal with all the concessions customers, right before about 3 movies were going to start. Needless to say, this left the 2 of us very bitter. Just because I don't smoke (and I have NOTHING against it, hell I wish I did most of the time) I dont get to take smoke breaks and get left with all the damn people wanting their fucking nachos. It's frustrating for me. Plus I feel like no one really likes me all that much because it takes me a little while to get comfortable with certain people and since I'm uncomfortable they don't really want much to do with me. There are exceptions to this of course (Maleveroth and Jeff of course) but I don't know. I really like all the people, I just don't feel that they like me.
But anyway, once our manager Tad got back he asked how Jeff and I were doing and we told him about their long smoke break. Not like tattling, or even complaining, but just venting some visible frustration. So he talked to Sherri and we got to leave early.
When we were leaving, the other side of concessions was like "You're getting 45 minutes off your paycheck!" and "Wait, we gotta take another smoke break!" And that pissed me the fuck off. So we put on Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge and everything was instantly better.
Jeff had mentioned earlier that Nathan was going to be coming over to his house later, so we just went straight to Jeff's. He played some Paper Mario which is really one of the greatest games of all time. It's impossible to describe why, because it's really made for Mario geeks and has a shitload of amazing little subplots and easter eggs. Anyway, Nathan came over after awhile and so did Rachel. We played some Super Smash Brothers, including an all Peach match (Hispanic Peach aka me won) and an all Ice Climbers match (which was very very sad). We then decided we wanted mexican and went to El Chapala, this tiny little Mexican restaurant in Weaverville which is awesome.
So we get there and we're enjoying chips and salsa and catching up (Nathan and Rachel hadn't seen each other for a year and it had been that long since the 4 of us had been together) and this eventually led to a discussion of all the people that we graduated with that have since come out of the closet. As we're talking about this, this guy sitting behind us says "Yeah and my 14 year old son is sittin' right here." We're like "what the fuck?" and I giggled nervously and the subject changed for about 5 minutes before it went back to gay kids we graduated with. This guy tells us to shut up. Rachel, who hadn't realized he was talking to us before was like "Are you talking to us?" and he responds "Yes I'm talking to you bitch."
Ok at this point, you would really have to know Nathan and Rachel to realize and understand their reactions. Because they found this extremely hilarious and neither of them have any qualms about pissing off random rednecks. So they start laughing hysterically, while I'm trying not to laugh and Jeff has become very interested in his food. Some comments continue and the guy finally says "I hope you get a venereal disease faggot. It'll be the only good thing to ever happen to you." to Nathan. Jeff is just like "Um ok guys can we talk about something else" and the asshole is like "Thanks man"
And after 5 or so minutes they pay and leave. And then we bursted into insane laughter.
We were victims of a hate crime! A real-life honest to god hate crime! I had honestly forgotten people like that existed! I still can't even believe that happened! It seems so surreal. Plus the fact that we thought it was the funniest thing ever didn't help.
So after much giggling and musing over that incident, we went back to Jeff's, watched Adult Swim and when Jeff went to play City of Villians, Rachel drew some porn before she decided she had to go home. Nathan and I were spending the night, and we realized we had to go to Nathan's house to pick up some stuff, so this is where the next part of the adventure leads.
As we are walking up his basement steps, Nathan says "Oh I love my doggy, I hope she has food" and as soon as he opens his door to his living room, the dog is there slobbering all over everything and we notice some McDonald's containers on the floor. At first I just think "Um why is there some trash on the floor."
Then I turned my head to the right.
The dog had ravaged a huge bag of trash in the kitchen. There were food containers, soda cans, fast food boxes, and just general trash EVERYWHERE. It was un-fucking-believable. I couldn't believe it, I had to sit down from laughing so hard. I'm laughing just thinking about it. It was the biggest fucking mess I've ever seen!
Poor Nathan just didn't know what to do, so we just went upstairs and borrowed a shitload of his DVDs and left the mess. He locked his dog in his parent's bedrooom (they're out of town) hoping it would pee on their bed.
So we finally got back to Jeff's after encountering a huge spider and queening out about it. We stayed up all night watching Jeff play Paper Mario and Nathan play Shadow Hearts (which OMG WTF). We took a nap a little later and when we woke up, Jeff decided to try on his pirate attire his mother had prepared for him before his parents left for the beach. (Carmike gets Pirates of the Caribbean this week, so the option to dress like a pirate is greatly encouraged)
Oh that goddamn pirate attire.
It was the gayest, least piratey shit I've ever seen! STIRRUP PANTS PEOPLE. STIRRUP PANTS.
There was also a woman's blouse, about 18 belts, earrings (and not even gold hoop earrings...they had beads on them!), and 4 pashminas! PASHMINAS
He was the gayest pirate to ever steal some booty.
(You know you loved that pun)
So once he toned it down a bit, there was some more Paper Mario (including a fantastic Bowser sequence in which he screamed "I'm the King of guys who talk to posters!") and we decided to end the day with some CiCi's before Jeff had to go to work. There was some Jeff/Josh Guthrie subtle flirting, which is always exciting.
You would think I wouldn't have much else to say and that nothing would happen as Nathan took me home.
But if you do, you wouldn't know us.
As we are driving back to Weaverville, Home of the Gay Hate Crime, Nathan and I notice a lot of cops on teh side of the road, which we thought was weird. And then all of a sudden, this guy in a pick-up was going like 90 and passes in front of us with a cop car behind it. So we think "Oh it's just some asshole speeding". But then EIGHT more cop cars followed! We witnessed a high-speed chase!!! If it had been OJ Simpson, we would have been on the news!!!
We actually went to see if it was on the news, but our local news fails us. So we watched Fuse for a little while and made fun of ourselves for how much we like pop-emo music before Nathan left to go home and clean up his kitchen from where his dog destroyed it.
And all of that happened in the last day and a half.
And this is why I can't make new friends at UNCA. This shit doesn't happen to anyone else.
Let's start with work.
Jeff and I had the opening to 6 shift, and it all started normally enough. Then Nathan Lilly threw a prissy fit because he had to work in concessions and somehow broke his side of concession's popcorn maker (well I assume he broke it) so his side had to come steal Jeff and my's side's popcorn. That got old really fast. Like I understand that they needed it, but goddamn, Jeff was had a batch in the cooker for like 45 minutes straight and they stole like 75% of them. Plus we still had customers (more than we should have for a Sunday). After awhile when it slowed down for a little bit, the entire other side of concessions took at 20 minute smoke break, leaving us to deal with all the concessions customers, right before about 3 movies were going to start. Needless to say, this left the 2 of us very bitter. Just because I don't smoke (and I have NOTHING against it, hell I wish I did most of the time) I dont get to take smoke breaks and get left with all the damn people wanting their fucking nachos. It's frustrating for me. Plus I feel like no one really likes me all that much because it takes me a little while to get comfortable with certain people and since I'm uncomfortable they don't really want much to do with me. There are exceptions to this of course (Maleveroth and Jeff of course) but I don't know. I really like all the people, I just don't feel that they like me.
But anyway, once our manager Tad got back he asked how Jeff and I were doing and we told him about their long smoke break. Not like tattling, or even complaining, but just venting some visible frustration. So he talked to Sherri and we got to leave early.
When we were leaving, the other side of concessions was like "You're getting 45 minutes off your paycheck!" and "Wait, we gotta take another smoke break!" And that pissed me the fuck off. So we put on Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge and everything was instantly better.
Jeff had mentioned earlier that Nathan was going to be coming over to his house later, so we just went straight to Jeff's. He played some Paper Mario which is really one of the greatest games of all time. It's impossible to describe why, because it's really made for Mario geeks and has a shitload of amazing little subplots and easter eggs. Anyway, Nathan came over after awhile and so did Rachel. We played some Super Smash Brothers, including an all Peach match (Hispanic Peach aka me won) and an all Ice Climbers match (which was very very sad). We then decided we wanted mexican and went to El Chapala, this tiny little Mexican restaurant in Weaverville which is awesome.
So we get there and we're enjoying chips and salsa and catching up (Nathan and Rachel hadn't seen each other for a year and it had been that long since the 4 of us had been together) and this eventually led to a discussion of all the people that we graduated with that have since come out of the closet. As we're talking about this, this guy sitting behind us says "Yeah and my 14 year old son is sittin' right here." We're like "what the fuck?" and I giggled nervously and the subject changed for about 5 minutes before it went back to gay kids we graduated with. This guy tells us to shut up. Rachel, who hadn't realized he was talking to us before was like "Are you talking to us?" and he responds "Yes I'm talking to you bitch."
Ok at this point, you would really have to know Nathan and Rachel to realize and understand their reactions. Because they found this extremely hilarious and neither of them have any qualms about pissing off random rednecks. So they start laughing hysterically, while I'm trying not to laugh and Jeff has become very interested in his food. Some comments continue and the guy finally says "I hope you get a venereal disease faggot. It'll be the only good thing to ever happen to you." to Nathan. Jeff is just like "Um ok guys can we talk about something else" and the asshole is like "Thanks man"
And after 5 or so minutes they pay and leave. And then we bursted into insane laughter.
We were victims of a hate crime! A real-life honest to god hate crime! I had honestly forgotten people like that existed! I still can't even believe that happened! It seems so surreal. Plus the fact that we thought it was the funniest thing ever didn't help.
So after much giggling and musing over that incident, we went back to Jeff's, watched Adult Swim and when Jeff went to play City of Villians, Rachel drew some porn before she decided she had to go home. Nathan and I were spending the night, and we realized we had to go to Nathan's house to pick up some stuff, so this is where the next part of the adventure leads.
As we are walking up his basement steps, Nathan says "Oh I love my doggy, I hope she has food" and as soon as he opens his door to his living room, the dog is there slobbering all over everything and we notice some McDonald's containers on the floor. At first I just think "Um why is there some trash on the floor."
Then I turned my head to the right.
The dog had ravaged a huge bag of trash in the kitchen. There were food containers, soda cans, fast food boxes, and just general trash EVERYWHERE. It was un-fucking-believable. I couldn't believe it, I had to sit down from laughing so hard. I'm laughing just thinking about it. It was the biggest fucking mess I've ever seen!
Poor Nathan just didn't know what to do, so we just went upstairs and borrowed a shitload of his DVDs and left the mess. He locked his dog in his parent's bedrooom (they're out of town) hoping it would pee on their bed.
So we finally got back to Jeff's after encountering a huge spider and queening out about it. We stayed up all night watching Jeff play Paper Mario and Nathan play Shadow Hearts (which OMG WTF). We took a nap a little later and when we woke up, Jeff decided to try on his pirate attire his mother had prepared for him before his parents left for the beach. (Carmike gets Pirates of the Caribbean this week, so the option to dress like a pirate is greatly encouraged)
Oh that goddamn pirate attire.
It was the gayest, least piratey shit I've ever seen! STIRRUP PANTS PEOPLE. STIRRUP PANTS.
There was also a woman's blouse, about 18 belts, earrings (and not even gold hoop earrings...they had beads on them!), and 4 pashminas! PASHMINAS
He was the gayest pirate to ever steal some booty.
(You know you loved that pun)
So once he toned it down a bit, there was some more Paper Mario (including a fantastic Bowser sequence in which he screamed "I'm the King of guys who talk to posters!") and we decided to end the day with some CiCi's before Jeff had to go to work. There was some Jeff/Josh Guthrie subtle flirting, which is always exciting.
You would think I wouldn't have much else to say and that nothing would happen as Nathan took me home.
But if you do, you wouldn't know us.
As we are driving back to Weaverville, Home of the Gay Hate Crime, Nathan and I notice a lot of cops on teh side of the road, which we thought was weird. And then all of a sudden, this guy in a pick-up was going like 90 and passes in front of us with a cop car behind it. So we think "Oh it's just some asshole speeding". But then EIGHT more cop cars followed! We witnessed a high-speed chase!!! If it had been OJ Simpson, we would have been on the news!!!
We actually went to see if it was on the news, but our local news fails us. So we watched Fuse for a little while and made fun of ourselves for how much we like pop-emo music before Nathan left to go home and clean up his kitchen from where his dog destroyed it.
And all of that happened in the last day and a half.
And this is why I can't make new friends at UNCA. This shit doesn't happen to anyone else.