When it rains, it pours..
"Fuck it, no more waiting for the world to turn
Bloody as my smile dripping ear to ear
I haven't lived for a moment and think it's too damn late to learn"
God, it's been awhile, hasn't it? I keep promising updates when I only post on an erratic pattern. 21 days since my last one, sorry about that folks. I suppose I never really have gotten around to posting one. But then again, who really reads this, much less cares about what I put in them?
School.
I can't wait until I head down to Key West this May. It's a much needed break but I know that I'm going to be working hard in that class. Though, it would be fun work, if there is ever such a thing. Chemistry is still the bitch of my life, slitting my own neck as I try to do my best in that class. I swear, I studied alot for that test and I ended up getting a fucking 52 on it. I mean, c'mon, give me some peace here. A 52? I know for sure that I need to do very well on my next 3 exams or I'll be failing that class and having to repeat it next year. I have never failed a class in my life, and I don't plan on failing anytime soon. What else .. let's see .. Intro Field Meth class is going alright I suppose. I have to go to a few rock quarries to examine the crap there for projects for that class. Should be fun .. yea, right. Anyways, the project I'm on now is a field compass and survey and this is a real bitch too. We have to map out everything in this area he wants us to map on campus, and we have to do it exactly, with everything, and I mean everything, including bushes, trees, trash, etc, on that map. God, this is a pain in the ass. But atleast the partner I'm with, Mitch, is cool and I'm happy that I have him as a partner. Hm, what else .. oh, exam on Wednesday for American Religions .. should be a slaughter. Math class, God, I have an exam on Thursday for it as well. But hey, I got a single room for next year, by the way. I got to choose the same room that I'm in so this would be atleast good because I don't have to put up with someone. I can fully control the room. Eh. Fuck it. I hate school. I really do. I don't feel like I'm going to do well in life and I feel like I'm going to fail to the lowest part of life. I have a low self-esteem and confidence, and it's just doing wonders, isn't it?
Life.
I'm probably going to be a future employee of Home Depot this summer, it all depends on if they call back and say I'm expected to show up in June. Working 90 days at full time, 8 bucks an hour. It shouldn't be that bad. Atleast I get to work outside doing stuff. I hope they do call, I need the money. Anyways, my birthday is coming up next month. Going to be the big 2-0. Yep .. twenty years on this planet, and everything just seems weird, if I would think of it. Anyways, spring break was last week and it was all nice and such, expect for the fact that none of my friends had break with me. They all hadve theirs a week after me. That fucking sucks, doesn't it? Oh well. Not much I can really do about it. .. Eh, my mind right now is fragmented and I'm losing my writing voice. My speech is becoming fragmented and watered down. Just look at the other posts and compare them to this one, and you'll see what I mean. Sorry about that, if any of you were into my style of writing. Nothing much else is new in this department.
Love.
Oh, I found out that Huber is moving back home so he can go to school in Milwaukee. Which to me, is fucking great, because he'll be able to see his 'love', Amber. This fucking pisses me off even more, I want to strangle this guy with his entrails and slit their necks, as well as all the rest of them. Kinda funny how you would think about it, the pain and the anguish. The blood and the violence. Heh, I can stil here and make empty threats all I want and it won't make a damn difference; what is done is done, and there's not a fucking thing I can do about it. I fucked up and now I'm stuck like this, probably for the rest of my life. Go enjoy yourself, Huber, enjoy it all you want. I know life will come for you and fuck you up big time. Anyways, nothing new in this part, no girls or anything. I just feel like everyone here is just not my type, most of them are too fucken stuck up bitches or sluts, it's kinda amusing to see how they dress and act around here. But I guess it is like that any where else and I'm the odd man out, right? I suppose so.
Eh, and I just lost my writing edge so I'll end it here in the better sake of time.
"Got a low self-esteem from all these guileful lies
Carry me there- I can't stand to stand on my own
But I'd rather be hated than forgotten
'Cause it's a long way down and it's a long way home"
Bloody as my smile dripping ear to ear
I haven't lived for a moment and think it's too damn late to learn"
God, it's been awhile, hasn't it? I keep promising updates when I only post on an erratic pattern. 21 days since my last one, sorry about that folks. I suppose I never really have gotten around to posting one. But then again, who really reads this, much less cares about what I put in them?
School.
I can't wait until I head down to Key West this May. It's a much needed break but I know that I'm going to be working hard in that class. Though, it would be fun work, if there is ever such a thing. Chemistry is still the bitch of my life, slitting my own neck as I try to do my best in that class. I swear, I studied alot for that test and I ended up getting a fucking 52 on it. I mean, c'mon, give me some peace here. A 52? I know for sure that I need to do very well on my next 3 exams or I'll be failing that class and having to repeat it next year. I have never failed a class in my life, and I don't plan on failing anytime soon. What else .. let's see .. Intro Field Meth class is going alright I suppose. I have to go to a few rock quarries to examine the crap there for projects for that class. Should be fun .. yea, right. Anyways, the project I'm on now is a field compass and survey and this is a real bitch too. We have to map out everything in this area he wants us to map on campus, and we have to do it exactly, with everything, and I mean everything, including bushes, trees, trash, etc, on that map. God, this is a pain in the ass. But atleast the partner I'm with, Mitch, is cool and I'm happy that I have him as a partner. Hm, what else .. oh, exam on Wednesday for American Religions .. should be a slaughter. Math class, God, I have an exam on Thursday for it as well. But hey, I got a single room for next year, by the way. I got to choose the same room that I'm in so this would be atleast good because I don't have to put up with someone. I can fully control the room. Eh. Fuck it. I hate school. I really do. I don't feel like I'm going to do well in life and I feel like I'm going to fail to the lowest part of life. I have a low self-esteem and confidence, and it's just doing wonders, isn't it?
Life.
I'm probably going to be a future employee of Home Depot this summer, it all depends on if they call back and say I'm expected to show up in June. Working 90 days at full time, 8 bucks an hour. It shouldn't be that bad. Atleast I get to work outside doing stuff. I hope they do call, I need the money. Anyways, my birthday is coming up next month. Going to be the big 2-0. Yep .. twenty years on this planet, and everything just seems weird, if I would think of it. Anyways, spring break was last week and it was all nice and such, expect for the fact that none of my friends had break with me. They all hadve theirs a week after me. That fucking sucks, doesn't it? Oh well. Not much I can really do about it. .. Eh, my mind right now is fragmented and I'm losing my writing voice. My speech is becoming fragmented and watered down. Just look at the other posts and compare them to this one, and you'll see what I mean. Sorry about that, if any of you were into my style of writing. Nothing much else is new in this department.
Love.
Oh, I found out that Huber is moving back home so he can go to school in Milwaukee. Which to me, is fucking great, because he'll be able to see his 'love', Amber. This fucking pisses me off even more, I want to strangle this guy with his entrails and slit their necks, as well as all the rest of them. Kinda funny how you would think about it, the pain and the anguish. The blood and the violence. Heh, I can stil here and make empty threats all I want and it won't make a damn difference; what is done is done, and there's not a fucking thing I can do about it. I fucked up and now I'm stuck like this, probably for the rest of my life. Go enjoy yourself, Huber, enjoy it all you want. I know life will come for you and fuck you up big time. Anyways, nothing new in this part, no girls or anything. I just feel like everyone here is just not my type, most of them are too fucken stuck up bitches or sluts, it's kinda amusing to see how they dress and act around here. But I guess it is like that any where else and I'm the odd man out, right? I suppose so.
Eh, and I just lost my writing edge so I'll end it here in the better sake of time.
"Got a low self-esteem from all these guileful lies
Carry me there- I can't stand to stand on my own
But I'd rather be hated than forgotten
'Cause it's a long way down and it's a long way home"