On The Way Down
"On the way down
I saw you, and you saved me from myself
And I won't forget the way you loved me
And on the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held on to you"
It's been awhile since I've done an update. I apologize. I had started twice before to start a journal entry but never had the heart to finish it or was caught up in something else and forgot about it. Sorry. I should make this more of a habit of keeping it daily, not weekly. I guess it's that "need to tell people about my life" urge that we all have. Speaking of habits, they are a bitch to make and a bitch to keep, aren't they?
The song that I chosen for this entry is pretty good. I love it. It was on a FFX/FFX-2 AMV and it flowed nicely with the video so every time I listen to this song, I think of the game. If you guys want the AMV, I can give you a link. But I think that you guys should check out this song, it has some meaningful lyrics for that special someone, if you guys have that special someone right now. Speaking of which ..
*Long pause in time and takes a sip of coffee* .. I've started to look at things different since the 1st. I wouldn't have reached this point without the help of my friends and God. Yes, God. I was in Church on that following morning and it was strange. I felt like crying but it wasn't that kind of crying, you know? It .. how can I put this .. like God understood me. It was weird for me. I thought about everything and connections were made to my life through the message from the sermon. God will take care of me, I believe, He will help me and give me strength. All I have to do is put my trust and love in Him. Anyways, I'm sorry to those who I've might offended by talking about my experince in church. I felt like I had to put it down. But also, my friends, mostly Faye and Queeny, have helped me realize things about myself and my ex-relationship that I, on the other hand, wouldn't have seen them. I came to a conclusion that, "I was used" and it should "have never happened but it did". I'm not saying the whole thing relationship was bad, there were some good memories in there that I want to keep .. but I have to draw the line somewhere. She's off with someone else, have forgotten about me, and have moved on. There's nothing left for me and I should part to embark on my own path to seek the right girl for me. Letting go of something that you thought meant the world to you is difficult and at times, seems impossible. But, with the guidance of friends and God, I'm sure I can pull through and make it in this world.
On to school.
School is going alright. It's pretty boring, with most people gone home for the weekend. I had to resort going with a friend's friends who I didn't know except for him and a girl that I barely knew. These people were "preps" and the type that I don't like. But, I didn't want to go eat by myself, who would want that? So I had no choice. It wasn't bad, I suppose. I didn't talk much, but rather sit there and study my Burger King dinner. It helped me think about how I can appreciate the ability to be an individual and how I can make my own choices that I believe are right for me. Anyways, back to school. My interim class, Modern Civilization, is a joke. I have it from 1-4pm every day (except the Monday holiday and weekends) until the 21st. The class is easy. All you have to do is show up, try to stay awake for 3 hours, take notes for an hour, sit through the discussion, and then watch an hour long video about some old guy having a orgasm over 17th Century China. Atleast I have my friends that sit with me, I know I'm not alone, bearing this pain. But from other then the class, it's pretty boring. My roommate Adam dropped his class on last Monday, so I'm not going to be seeing him at all until the 31st. I'm so happy that I get the room to myself for 3 weeks. But it's so boring here. There's nothing to do, it's too cold to walk anywhere, and you can only beat Halo 2 so many times. Atleast Karate is a break from the potential insanity-inducer boredom. I finally get my patches and my black strip for my belt on Monday. The strip is to mark my movement up towards 9th belt. The patches, I don't really know, but they look cool. A Korean and US flag as well as the karate association seal that goes on the left breast of the coat and the patches on each arm. Eh, and there's Jantira, who I'm starting to think is not a worthy investment of my energy. Maybe she isn't right for me? She dresses like one of those people that go to clubs and drink. Usually, that's a bad sign for me. Girls of that caliber are hard to control, even harder for me to keep. So, I guess she isn't the right girl for me but I'll keep my eye on her to see if anything sparks my interest to pursue her again.
I guess that's it for now. I think I might have given people eye sores and drove a few others into insanity. If you're still with me, thank you. Until next time .. stay frosty.
Oh ... Faye ... UPDATE!
"I was so afraid of going under
But now, the weight of the world
Feels like nothing, no nothing
You're all I wanted
You're all I needed"
I saw you, and you saved me from myself
And I won't forget the way you loved me
And on the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held on to you"
It's been awhile since I've done an update. I apologize. I had started twice before to start a journal entry but never had the heart to finish it or was caught up in something else and forgot about it. Sorry. I should make this more of a habit of keeping it daily, not weekly. I guess it's that "need to tell people about my life" urge that we all have. Speaking of habits, they are a bitch to make and a bitch to keep, aren't they?
The song that I chosen for this entry is pretty good. I love it. It was on a FFX/FFX-2 AMV and it flowed nicely with the video so every time I listen to this song, I think of the game. If you guys want the AMV, I can give you a link. But I think that you guys should check out this song, it has some meaningful lyrics for that special someone, if you guys have that special someone right now. Speaking of which ..
*Long pause in time and takes a sip of coffee* .. I've started to look at things different since the 1st. I wouldn't have reached this point without the help of my friends and God. Yes, God. I was in Church on that following morning and it was strange. I felt like crying but it wasn't that kind of crying, you know? It .. how can I put this .. like God understood me. It was weird for me. I thought about everything and connections were made to my life through the message from the sermon. God will take care of me, I believe, He will help me and give me strength. All I have to do is put my trust and love in Him. Anyways, I'm sorry to those who I've might offended by talking about my experince in church. I felt like I had to put it down. But also, my friends, mostly Faye and Queeny, have helped me realize things about myself and my ex-relationship that I, on the other hand, wouldn't have seen them. I came to a conclusion that, "I was used" and it should "have never happened but it did". I'm not saying the whole thing relationship was bad, there were some good memories in there that I want to keep .. but I have to draw the line somewhere. She's off with someone else, have forgotten about me, and have moved on. There's nothing left for me and I should part to embark on my own path to seek the right girl for me. Letting go of something that you thought meant the world to you is difficult and at times, seems impossible. But, with the guidance of friends and God, I'm sure I can pull through and make it in this world.
On to school.
School is going alright. It's pretty boring, with most people gone home for the weekend. I had to resort going with a friend's friends who I didn't know except for him and a girl that I barely knew. These people were "preps" and the type that I don't like. But, I didn't want to go eat by myself, who would want that? So I had no choice. It wasn't bad, I suppose. I didn't talk much, but rather sit there and study my Burger King dinner. It helped me think about how I can appreciate the ability to be an individual and how I can make my own choices that I believe are right for me. Anyways, back to school. My interim class, Modern Civilization, is a joke. I have it from 1-4pm every day (except the Monday holiday and weekends) until the 21st. The class is easy. All you have to do is show up, try to stay awake for 3 hours, take notes for an hour, sit through the discussion, and then watch an hour long video about some old guy having a orgasm over 17th Century China. Atleast I have my friends that sit with me, I know I'm not alone, bearing this pain. But from other then the class, it's pretty boring. My roommate Adam dropped his class on last Monday, so I'm not going to be seeing him at all until the 31st. I'm so happy that I get the room to myself for 3 weeks. But it's so boring here. There's nothing to do, it's too cold to walk anywhere, and you can only beat Halo 2 so many times. Atleast Karate is a break from the potential insanity-inducer boredom. I finally get my patches and my black strip for my belt on Monday. The strip is to mark my movement up towards 9th belt. The patches, I don't really know, but they look cool. A Korean and US flag as well as the karate association seal that goes on the left breast of the coat and the patches on each arm. Eh, and there's Jantira, who I'm starting to think is not a worthy investment of my energy. Maybe she isn't right for me? She dresses like one of those people that go to clubs and drink. Usually, that's a bad sign for me. Girls of that caliber are hard to control, even harder for me to keep. So, I guess she isn't the right girl for me but I'll keep my eye on her to see if anything sparks my interest to pursue her again.
I guess that's it for now. I think I might have given people eye sores and drove a few others into insanity. If you're still with me, thank you. Until next time .. stay frosty.
Oh ... Faye ... UPDATE!
"I was so afraid of going under
But now, the weight of the world
Feels like nothing, no nothing
You're all I wanted
You're all I needed"