Or Maybe You Think You Can Save Me.
I was not at all psychologically prepared for how weird the release of the Silent Hill 2 remake would be.
The original Silent Hill 2 permanently rewired my psyche when I was sixteen. It's responsible for half my taste in fiction. So many of the characters I love, so many of the things I've written, they can all be traced back to James Sunderland. I have been insane about this specific fictional character for twenty years.
And suddenly he's everywhere! Suddenly everyone is talking about this character who was wildly, catastrophically formative for me!
I haven't played the remake yet, so I don't know whether it will click for me! Whether it does or not, though, it's great to see a brand new generation of gamers falling into the pit I've lived in for so long. Welcome to the world of Being Weird About James Sunderland. Here's to the next twenty years.
This morning, I saw that hamsterwoman had posted a collection of character-specific meme questions, and this seemed like a great opportunity to express some of the feelings I have about this disaster of a fictional man.
There are full-game spoilers for Silent Hill 2 below the cut. As I haven't played the remake, I'm speaking about the James of the original game; I'll be interested to learn how similar or different the remake James feels!
1. Why do I like or dislike this character?
I bonded very closely with James when playing Silent Hill 2, I think. I found the game extremely scary, and it felt like James, as the character I was playing, was the only person there who was really on my side. But the main reason he's stuck in my mind for all these years is that I find him absolutely fascinating.
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
His complexity! In a lot of stories, I feel 'this guy murdered his terminally ill wife' would be taken in one of two directions: 'this man is an irredeemable monster' or 'actually it's totally fine, he put her out of her misery, let's not worry about what Mary might have wanted'.
I really appreciate that Silent Hill 2 goes 'James killing Mary was a terrible act, and a selfish act. He didn't do it for her, and her death was an atrocity and a tragedy. But that doesn't mean he didn't love her, or that he doesn't hate himself for it, and it doesn't mean there's something in his nature that's inherently worse than anyone else. He didn't do this because he's a monster; he did this because he's a human.'
Silent Hill 2 isn't interested in arguing whether James is a good person or a bad person. He's just an ordinary person who did a terrible thing. It makes him feel very real, I think.
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
Hmm. How awkward he is to control? The fact that I can't re-experience his story unless I'm prepared to be terrified? It might be nice if he reacted more to things, but I can understand why he doesn't.
To be honest, I don't think there's any aspect of James I really dislike. Everything we learn about him fits into the character he is.
4. If I could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would I put them in?
In a crossover sense? Honestly, I don't think James Sunderland belongs anywhere but Silent Hill. The only other canon I can even begin to envision him in is The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope, and that's only because Little Hope is essentially a carbon copy of Silent Hill.
If you're talking about changing the medium in which his story is told, it might be interesting to see Silent Hill 2 as a visual novel. Visual novels tend to delve very deeply into the protagonist's thoughts, and it'd be interesting to get a really good look at what's going on inside James's head. Then again, maybe part of what makes him such an interesting character is the ambiguity created by the fact that we mainly perceive him from the outside.
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when I think about them?
'Promise', from the Silent Hill 2 soundtrack, which I have been listening to while writing this post.
6. What's something I have in common with this character?
Wow, that's not a pleasant question to contemplate. I think we're both weaker-willed than we'd like to be.
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that I like?
Lots of cool symbolic fanart!
8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that I despise?
I really dislike it when fans flatten James's character into 'he killed her, so he's evil' or 'but she was ill, so it's actually completely fine that he murdered her'. No! You're trying to find the correct side of a dichotomy that doesn't exist!
The questions at play here are so much more complicated and interesting than 'is he just inherently a Bad Person, or were his actions completely justified? Surely those are the only two options.' A person doesn't have to be a monster to do a monstrous thing.
9. Could I be housemates with this character?
I mean, I wouldn't die or anything, but I don't think I'd be especially happy in that situation. He's not much fun.
(The original question said 'roommates', which I think in America can be used to mean sharing a house? To me, it means sharing a bedroom, so I changed the wording to 'housemates' for clarity.)
10. Could I be best friends with this character?
It's hard to get much of an idea of what James is interested in besides 'desperately searching for his dead wife', but I don't think we have a lot in common. I don't think I'd dislike him, but he's probably not someone I'd choose to spend a lot of time around.
11. Would I date this character?
Ahahaha, no. No. Absolutely not. God, no. No.
12. What's a headcanon I have for this character?
I just spent a moment thinking, 'Do I... have any headcanons for James? Surely I must have some, when I've spent so much time thinking about him? What's a detail from one of my fics? He... likes to be choked in bed?' and then 'Holy shit, that's distressing and awful on levels I never really considered before.' Which makes it perfect for Silent Hill, so I'm sticking with it. He likes to be choked in bed.
13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds me of this character or I think the character would use a lot?
'have u seen my [BRIDE EMOJI]?'
I don't really see James as an emoji guy.
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
I don't really see James as a fashion guy either! And I'm definitely not a fashion person; I'm not really sure exactly what a fashion aesthetic is. He dresses... practically?
15. What's my favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
I have a lot of very intense feelings about James/Mary. I think it might actually be the first canon pairing I ever became really passionate about. It's so awful and tragic, but that tragedy is rooted in real feeling. He hated her and he loved her and he killed her.
16. What's my least favorite ship for this character?
Hmm! I'll limit these to things I've actually seen people shipping or writing; I'd be unhappy if I accidentally stumbled across, say, James/Laura fanart, but I've never actually seen anyone shipping them, so my preference not to see that ship has no impact whatsoever on my life.
I think the only James ships I've seen in the wild are James/Mary, James/Maria and James/Pyramid Head. Of those, I suppose my least favourite is James/Maria, which is undoubtedly interesting (I've written it myself!) but also makes me go NOOOOOO JAMES DON'T DO IT.
17. What's a ship for this character that I'm fine with (but neither hate nor have as my favorite)?
I've never seen anyone shipping it, but maybe James/Angela? It would be terrible, obviously. Absolutely guaranteed to make things worse for everyone. But it would be terrible in an interesting way!
18. How about a canon relationship they have that I like?
I've already talked about my love of James/Mary. Next to them, my favourite of James's canonical relationships is probably the weird dynamic he has with Angela. Their interactions feel so strange and awkward. Angela is so wary and bitter; James wants to reach out to her somehow, he wants to help her, but he doesn't know how.
19. How about a canon relationship they have that I don't like?
I don't dislike any of James's canon relationships. Silent Hill 2 doesn't have many characters - other than James himself, it's basically just Mary, Maria, Angela, Laura, Eddie and Pyramid Head - and their interactions with James are all interesting in their own ways.
One could argue that I don't like James's relationship with Pyramid Head, in the sense that it scares the shit out of me. From a narrative perspective, it's great! From a gameplay perspective: oh God Pyramid Head leave me alone.
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character? The amount of screentime they share doesn't matter.
James cannot have a best friend. His character only works if his best friend was also his wife. When she died - or, to take the dangerous perspective that eventually destroyed both of them, when she became ill - he lost everything.
21. As a fic writer, what's my favorite thing to do when I'm writing for this character?
Destroy him. Psychologically torture him until he doesn't know what's real. Keep him anchored to Mary and nothing but Mary, so he's left completely adrift once she's cut away. Of course, Silent Hill does most of the work for me.
22. As a fic reader, what's something I like in fics when it comes to this character? Something I don't like?
I haven't read much Silent Hill 2 fic recently! But I think it's a fun fandom for playing around with game mechanics. Part of the reason I played Silent Hill 2 in the first place was because I was so fascinated by kadrin's fic Save Point: Hell Is Repetition. (NB: this is a fanfiction.net link. I tried to track this fic down somewhere without ads, but I think it's only available on ffnet!)
23. Favorite picture of this character?
This stunning piece of fanart! For a while, this was my phone background. I carefully rearranged all my app icons so they didn't obscure James's anguish.
I've only ever seen reuploads of this piece, so I just squinted at the watermark and went on a little quest to find the original artist. It seems to be 19works, who has a website here (NB: this link will immediately present you with illustrated tits).
24. What other character from another fandom reminds me of them?
Mike Munroe of Until Dawn. Personality-wise, they're very different, but they're both struggling with self-loathing after making hideous mistakes, they're both trying to atone for things that can't ever be undone, and they both undergo horrible experiences they'll never recover from or be believed about. They also both wear heavy green jackets! I love both of them.
25. What was my first impression of this character? How about now?
My first impression, when I'd just heard about him and hadn't played the game, was that he seemed to have interesting psychological problems. After playing the game, my impression was 'he has very interesting psychological problems, and also I love him.' That impression has held steady ever since!
Tem, Ginger and I have been watching a Let's Play of the first Silent Hill game. After the awkwardly voiced first conversation between Harry and Dahlia:
Riona: You see, my big concern about the Silent Hill 2 remake is...
Tem: ...what if the voice acting is too good?
Riona: Exactly! It won't be the same with actual professional voice actors.
Tem: These characters aren't supposed to be voiced by people who know what they're doing!
Riona: The awkward voice acting between James and Angela really gets across the fact that these characters are trying to have a conversation while barely being capable of registering the fact that anyone else exists. Their interactions feel deeply weird, and they should, because these characters are not normal.
(pause)
Riona: And I realise I'm being the worst sort of fan here. Trying to explain why a game's shortcomings are actually good and important. I got so annoyed with people going 'have you considered it's actually a good thing you can't pause in Bloodborne?'
The 'Could I be housemates with this character?' question reminded me of a Tumblr post I saw a few weeks ago. It said, paraphrased, 'Think of a fictional character. You now live with them, in their living situation, for the rest of your life. How are you doing?'
Very unfortunately, my first thought was Light Yagami of Death Note.
There are technically worse people to live with. Light would be tidy, he'd be polite on the surface, he'd be absent most of the time, and he wouldn't try to hit on me. But our cohabitation would be inconvenient for him, so I’d die in a mysterious accident the moment he thought he could get away with it, if Misa didn’t kill me first.
The original Silent Hill 2 permanently rewired my psyche when I was sixteen. It's responsible for half my taste in fiction. So many of the characters I love, so many of the things I've written, they can all be traced back to James Sunderland. I have been insane about this specific fictional character for twenty years.
And suddenly he's everywhere! Suddenly everyone is talking about this character who was wildly, catastrophically formative for me!
I haven't played the remake yet, so I don't know whether it will click for me! Whether it does or not, though, it's great to see a brand new generation of gamers falling into the pit I've lived in for so long. Welcome to the world of Being Weird About James Sunderland. Here's to the next twenty years.
This morning, I saw that hamsterwoman had posted a collection of character-specific meme questions, and this seemed like a great opportunity to express some of the feelings I have about this disaster of a fictional man.
There are full-game spoilers for Silent Hill 2 below the cut. As I haven't played the remake, I'm speaking about the James of the original game; I'll be interested to learn how similar or different the remake James feels!
1. Why do I like or dislike this character?
I bonded very closely with James when playing Silent Hill 2, I think. I found the game extremely scary, and it felt like James, as the character I was playing, was the only person there who was really on my side. But the main reason he's stuck in my mind for all these years is that I find him absolutely fascinating.
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
His complexity! In a lot of stories, I feel 'this guy murdered his terminally ill wife' would be taken in one of two directions: 'this man is an irredeemable monster' or 'actually it's totally fine, he put her out of her misery, let's not worry about what Mary might have wanted'.
I really appreciate that Silent Hill 2 goes 'James killing Mary was a terrible act, and a selfish act. He didn't do it for her, and her death was an atrocity and a tragedy. But that doesn't mean he didn't love her, or that he doesn't hate himself for it, and it doesn't mean there's something in his nature that's inherently worse than anyone else. He didn't do this because he's a monster; he did this because he's a human.'
Silent Hill 2 isn't interested in arguing whether James is a good person or a bad person. He's just an ordinary person who did a terrible thing. It makes him feel very real, I think.
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
Hmm. How awkward he is to control? The fact that I can't re-experience his story unless I'm prepared to be terrified? It might be nice if he reacted more to things, but I can understand why he doesn't.
To be honest, I don't think there's any aspect of James I really dislike. Everything we learn about him fits into the character he is.
4. If I could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would I put them in?
In a crossover sense? Honestly, I don't think James Sunderland belongs anywhere but Silent Hill. The only other canon I can even begin to envision him in is The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope, and that's only because Little Hope is essentially a carbon copy of Silent Hill.
If you're talking about changing the medium in which his story is told, it might be interesting to see Silent Hill 2 as a visual novel. Visual novels tend to delve very deeply into the protagonist's thoughts, and it'd be interesting to get a really good look at what's going on inside James's head. Then again, maybe part of what makes him such an interesting character is the ambiguity created by the fact that we mainly perceive him from the outside.
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when I think about them?
'Promise', from the Silent Hill 2 soundtrack, which I have been listening to while writing this post.
6. What's something I have in common with this character?
Wow, that's not a pleasant question to contemplate. I think we're both weaker-willed than we'd like to be.
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that I like?
Lots of cool symbolic fanart!
8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that I despise?
I really dislike it when fans flatten James's character into 'he killed her, so he's evil' or 'but she was ill, so it's actually completely fine that he murdered her'. No! You're trying to find the correct side of a dichotomy that doesn't exist!
The questions at play here are so much more complicated and interesting than 'is he just inherently a Bad Person, or were his actions completely justified? Surely those are the only two options.' A person doesn't have to be a monster to do a monstrous thing.
9. Could I be housemates with this character?
I mean, I wouldn't die or anything, but I don't think I'd be especially happy in that situation. He's not much fun.
(The original question said 'roommates', which I think in America can be used to mean sharing a house? To me, it means sharing a bedroom, so I changed the wording to 'housemates' for clarity.)
10. Could I be best friends with this character?
It's hard to get much of an idea of what James is interested in besides 'desperately searching for his dead wife', but I don't think we have a lot in common. I don't think I'd dislike him, but he's probably not someone I'd choose to spend a lot of time around.
11. Would I date this character?
Ahahaha, no. No. Absolutely not. God, no. No.
12. What's a headcanon I have for this character?
I just spent a moment thinking, 'Do I... have any headcanons for James? Surely I must have some, when I've spent so much time thinking about him? What's a detail from one of my fics? He... likes to be choked in bed?' and then 'Holy shit, that's distressing and awful on levels I never really considered before.' Which makes it perfect for Silent Hill, so I'm sticking with it. He likes to be choked in bed.
13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds me of this character or I think the character would use a lot?
'have u seen my [BRIDE EMOJI]?'
I don't really see James as an emoji guy.
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
I don't really see James as a fashion guy either! And I'm definitely not a fashion person; I'm not really sure exactly what a fashion aesthetic is. He dresses... practically?
15. What's my favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
I have a lot of very intense feelings about James/Mary. I think it might actually be the first canon pairing I ever became really passionate about. It's so awful and tragic, but that tragedy is rooted in real feeling. He hated her and he loved her and he killed her.
16. What's my least favorite ship for this character?
Hmm! I'll limit these to things I've actually seen people shipping or writing; I'd be unhappy if I accidentally stumbled across, say, James/Laura fanart, but I've never actually seen anyone shipping them, so my preference not to see that ship has no impact whatsoever on my life.
I think the only James ships I've seen in the wild are James/Mary, James/Maria and James/Pyramid Head. Of those, I suppose my least favourite is James/Maria, which is undoubtedly interesting (I've written it myself!) but also makes me go NOOOOOO JAMES DON'T DO IT.
17. What's a ship for this character that I'm fine with (but neither hate nor have as my favorite)?
I've never seen anyone shipping it, but maybe James/Angela? It would be terrible, obviously. Absolutely guaranteed to make things worse for everyone. But it would be terrible in an interesting way!
18. How about a canon relationship they have that I like?
I've already talked about my love of James/Mary. Next to them, my favourite of James's canonical relationships is probably the weird dynamic he has with Angela. Their interactions feel so strange and awkward. Angela is so wary and bitter; James wants to reach out to her somehow, he wants to help her, but he doesn't know how.
19. How about a canon relationship they have that I don't like?
I don't dislike any of James's canon relationships. Silent Hill 2 doesn't have many characters - other than James himself, it's basically just Mary, Maria, Angela, Laura, Eddie and Pyramid Head - and their interactions with James are all interesting in their own ways.
One could argue that I don't like James's relationship with Pyramid Head, in the sense that it scares the shit out of me. From a narrative perspective, it's great! From a gameplay perspective: oh God Pyramid Head leave me alone.
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character? The amount of screentime they share doesn't matter.
James cannot have a best friend. His character only works if his best friend was also his wife. When she died - or, to take the dangerous perspective that eventually destroyed both of them, when she became ill - he lost everything.
21. As a fic writer, what's my favorite thing to do when I'm writing for this character?
Destroy him. Psychologically torture him until he doesn't know what's real. Keep him anchored to Mary and nothing but Mary, so he's left completely adrift once she's cut away. Of course, Silent Hill does most of the work for me.
22. As a fic reader, what's something I like in fics when it comes to this character? Something I don't like?
I haven't read much Silent Hill 2 fic recently! But I think it's a fun fandom for playing around with game mechanics. Part of the reason I played Silent Hill 2 in the first place was because I was so fascinated by kadrin's fic Save Point: Hell Is Repetition. (NB: this is a fanfiction.net link. I tried to track this fic down somewhere without ads, but I think it's only available on ffnet!)
23. Favorite picture of this character?
This stunning piece of fanart! For a while, this was my phone background. I carefully rearranged all my app icons so they didn't obscure James's anguish.
I've only ever seen reuploads of this piece, so I just squinted at the watermark and went on a little quest to find the original artist. It seems to be 19works, who has a website here (NB: this link will immediately present you with illustrated tits).
24. What other character from another fandom reminds me of them?
Mike Munroe of Until Dawn. Personality-wise, they're very different, but they're both struggling with self-loathing after making hideous mistakes, they're both trying to atone for things that can't ever be undone, and they both undergo horrible experiences they'll never recover from or be believed about. They also both wear heavy green jackets! I love both of them.
25. What was my first impression of this character? How about now?
My first impression, when I'd just heard about him and hadn't played the game, was that he seemed to have interesting psychological problems. After playing the game, my impression was 'he has very interesting psychological problems, and also I love him.' That impression has held steady ever since!
Tem, Ginger and I have been watching a Let's Play of the first Silent Hill game. After the awkwardly voiced first conversation between Harry and Dahlia:
Riona: You see, my big concern about the Silent Hill 2 remake is...
Tem: ...what if the voice acting is too good?
Riona: Exactly! It won't be the same with actual professional voice actors.
Tem: These characters aren't supposed to be voiced by people who know what they're doing!
Riona: The awkward voice acting between James and Angela really gets across the fact that these characters are trying to have a conversation while barely being capable of registering the fact that anyone else exists. Their interactions feel deeply weird, and they should, because these characters are not normal.
(pause)
Riona: And I realise I'm being the worst sort of fan here. Trying to explain why a game's shortcomings are actually good and important. I got so annoyed with people going 'have you considered it's actually a good thing you can't pause in Bloodborne?'
The 'Could I be housemates with this character?' question reminded me of a Tumblr post I saw a few weeks ago. It said, paraphrased, 'Think of a fictional character. You now live with them, in their living situation, for the rest of your life. How are you doing?'
Very unfortunately, my first thought was Light Yagami of Death Note.
There are technically worse people to live with. Light would be tidy, he'd be polite on the surface, he'd be absent most of the time, and he wouldn't try to hit on me. But our cohabitation would be inconvenient for him, so I’d die in a mysterious accident the moment he thought he could get away with it, if Misa didn’t kill me first.