Fanfiction: Good Enough (Persona 5)
Persona 5 fanfiction! Makoto tends to struggle with perfectionism and low self-esteem, and I thought that might collide interestingly with Ryuji's open admiration and more relaxed attitude.
Title: Good Enough
Fandom: Persona 5
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,700
Summary: Makoto's spent her life straining to meet everyone's expectations. It's strange to realise that Ryuji doesn't need her to be perfect.
When she was investigating the Phantom Thieves, Makoto did some research into the academic performance of her now-teammates. Ryuji Sakamoto has scored consistently towards the bottom of his class on every exam he’s taken.
Makoto is not typically in the habit of spending time with people who don’t make an effort. She’s a little apprehensive.
But he approached her to suggest a new move, and they are teammates, after all. She’s willing to meet with him and practise it one-on-one.
If she ends up doing all of the work, well, it wouldn’t be the first time she’s carried a group project on her own.
-
The meeting place is a gym in Shibuya, not far from Central Street. Ryuji originally suggested training in the Metaverse, but Makoto was quick to veto the idea; if it’s only the two of them, it’s too risky.
Still, she can see the value of staying close to the conditions of an actual battle.
Makoto feels a little selfconscious about it, but she arrives wearing skintight leggings and the closest-fitting top she owns, along with a silk scarf she found in her sister’s wardrobe. It’s not exactly her Metaverse outfit, perhaps, but it’s close enough for the purpose. If their clothes make the move impractical, it’s best to establish that now, rather than when they have Shadows bearing down on them.
She’s never used a gym before, and she’s a little intimidated by the prospect of waiting inside one for Ryuji to arrive. She has her doubts about his punctuality, somehow. But he meets her at the door, beaming, and ushers her in.
“Oh, awesome, you came! Hey, thanks for agreeing to this. If we can pull this move off, it’s gonna be so badass.”
Perhaps he is taking this seriously, after all. “I’ll do whatever I can to help improve our chances.”
“I mean, our chances already went up, like, ten times just when you joined the team,” Ryuji says.
His praise hits her harder than she would have expected, somehow. She laughs, embarrassed. “You seemed to be managing without me.”
“Yeah, maybe, but we’d be screwed if you hadn’t switched sides,” Ryuji says. “You’d figured us out, right?”
Makoto shifts uncomfortably, brushing her hair back behind her ear. “I’m sorry about that.”
Ryuji shakes his head. “Nah, it’s over. I’m just saying, you’re a great ally, but you were great at tracking us down, too. I’m really glad you’re on our side.”
Makoto doesn’t know what to say. She heads over to the reception desk and pays for a gym session, to give herself a moment to consider how she feels about this.
It doesn’t feel bad, exactly. But it feels strange. She’s used to praise, given her academic record, but it often feels condescending, somehow; she’s not used to such open admiration.
“Awesome,” Ryuji says, breaking into a grin, as she turns away from the counter. “C’mon, they’ve got punching bags over here and we are going to mess them up.”
-
Makoto leans against the gym wall, breathing through gritted teeth. Trying to control her frustration.
“You need a break?” Ryuji asks.
“No. I can do this.”
“It’s fine if you need a break, y’know? I wouldn’t complain.” Ryuji sits down right there, on the gym floor. “It’s kind of crazy, what we’re trying to do.”
“I’m sorry,” Makoto says. She winces at the break in her own voice; she was hoping to sound less intense than that.
Ryuji looks up at her, frowning in surprise. “What’re you apologising for?”
Makoto shakes her head. “I should be better at this.” He approached her with his idea, he’s counting on her-
“That’s what we’re here for, right?” Ryuji asks. “We’re training. We’re getting better. You’ve seen how much I’ve been screwing up, right?”
Makoto draws breath, and then she realises she doesn’t know what to say. That’s different? What makes it different? The fact that she expects Ryuji to make mistakes? It would be cruel to say so.
“We’re doing great,” Ryuji says. “And, hey, even if we don’t get this right, I’m just psyched we’re trying. Pretty sure we’re still gonna fight better together after this.”
Maybe he’s right; maybe they are learning things, whether they master this move or not. When they’re battling Shadows, Makoto tends to stay focused on the enemy, rather than her teammates. Now, training with Ryuji in a safe environment, she’s gained a clearer idea of how he moves, what his strengths are, how to notice when he’s flagging.
It calms her down, a little. Maybe she’s not just wasting his time.
Earlier, she was thinking that they’d have to abandon the idea if they didn’t make more progress in this session. Now, instead, she hears herself saying, “I think we’ll need more time to get this right. Are you busy after school tomorrow?”
-
There are times when Makoto’s life feels like a constant struggle to meet everyone’s high expectations. She’s very conscious that her success is hard-won, that she always needs to make an effort. If she lets her studying slip, she’ll fail; she’ll let everyone down.
With Ryuji, in their daily training sessions, it doesn’t feel like she needs to keep chasing after some ever-receding goal. He admires her already; she doesn’t have to fight to be good enough. He’ll be pleased if she improves, but she won’t have failed him if she doesn’t.
Maybe it should feel like an insult. She could be better than this; why doesn’t he expect more from her? Why is he satisfied with ‘good enough’?
In a way, though, it’s refreshing. She spends so much time exhausting herself. Maybe taking a more relaxed attitude isn’t so bad.
-
“Oh, hey, Makoto,” Ryuji greets her, when he comes out of the main class building and sees her at the gates. “You waiting for someone?”
“I thought I was waiting for you,” Makoto says. “Are we not training today?”
“Oh, damn, did I not tell you?” Ryuji asks. “Gym’s closed today. Some company booked it out for some kind of teambuilding thing.”
“Oh.” Makoto feels a little silly. She should have checked in advance, rather than simply assuming the training sessions would keep happening every day. She hadn’t realised, until this moment, how much she’s been looking forward to them. “Is there anywhere else we could use?”
Ryuji frowns slightly. It’s clear the possibility hadn’t crossed his mind. “Uh, I guess there’s my room?” A moment passes. “Wait, no. Definitely not. We cannot train in my room.”
“What about mine?” Makoto asks.
“That’s not better!”
“My sister isn’t home. We might need to move some furniture around, but-”
Ah. She can become so focused and practical, on occasion, that she fails to consider what others might be thinking. Now that she pays attention, she thinks Ryuji might be blushing a little.
“You don’t need to worry,” she says. “There’s no possibility of anything romantic happening between us.”
“Uh, wow,” Ryuji says. “You didn’t have to say it like that.”
Makoto pauses. “Were you... hoping for-?”
“No!” Ryuji cuts her off, his blush deepening with impressive speed. “It was just kind of harsh!”
“I see,” Makoto says. “I apologise.”
“I mean,” Ryuji says. “I mean, when I say no, I’m not saying you’re not, like, awesome and, uh. Hot? I’m not saying, like, there’s something wrong with you - I’m not gonna complain if - like, if you wanted to - but you...”
He looks like he’s about to die of embarrassment on the spot. Makoto wants to interrupt him - it would be the compassionate thing to do - but a terrible, curious part of her also wants to see what he’ll say if she just lets him keep talking.
“But you don’t!” Ryuji exclaims. “And that’s fine! Because we’re friends!” He hesitates. “We’re friends, right? Like, you think of me as a friend?”
For Ryuji’s sake, Makoto just about manages not to laugh. “We’re friends.”
“Great,” Ryuji says. “Honestly, just being friends with you is cool as hell, so I’m definitely not complaining.”
There’s a silence, which Ryuji spends looking, with apparent determination, at everything that isn’t Makoto in the vicinity.
“So,” Makoto says, “should we train in my room?”
“Oh, my God, no,” Ryuji says. “Did you hear the shit I just said? I’m gonna go home and lock myself in my room and just never talk to anyone again.”
Makoto can’t entirely blame him. She’s paying the cost of not stepping in to save him from himself, she supposes.
“But the gym’s open tomorrow, isn’t it?” she asks. “Will I see you then?”
Ryuji groans. “Fine.”
“The move won’t work if you won’t look at me, you know.”
“I get it,” Ryuji says, staring fixedly at the school gates. “But, uh, that means I don’t have to look at you until tomorrow, right?”
-
All that practice, all those training sessions, and they mess up the first time they actually use the move.
They’ve prepared a couple of different versions, and it turns out they’re not great at communicating which one they’re using. Makoto leaps into the air, expecting Ryuji to launch her up even further with his weapon, and realises too late that Ryuji’s trying to do the other attack: the one where he knocks the enemy into range of her fists.
Ryuji knocks the Shadow a good distance, but Makoto, of course, is nowhere near it. She lands with a furious snarl.
Ryuji’s obviously realised what’s gone wrong, and he’s started to laugh. Makoto’s far too frustrated to see the funny side right now.
Maybe it’s a joke, but Ryuji presses a canned drink into her hand. The original plan was for her to crush it in victory. She’s not in the mood for a victory move when they’ve failed so badly; she hurls the can as hard as she can.
The can slams into the Shadow’s head, knocking it out.
There’s a moment’s silence, and then Makoto begins to laugh as well.
“Sorry!” Ryuji says, through breathless giggles. “Sorry, I thought we were doing the other one.”
“It’s fine,” Makoto says. She’s surprised to realise how broadly she’s smiling. “We’ll get it next time.”
Title: Good Enough
Fandom: Persona 5
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,700
Summary: Makoto's spent her life straining to meet everyone's expectations. It's strange to realise that Ryuji doesn't need her to be perfect.
When she was investigating the Phantom Thieves, Makoto did some research into the academic performance of her now-teammates. Ryuji Sakamoto has scored consistently towards the bottom of his class on every exam he’s taken.
Makoto is not typically in the habit of spending time with people who don’t make an effort. She’s a little apprehensive.
But he approached her to suggest a new move, and they are teammates, after all. She’s willing to meet with him and practise it one-on-one.
If she ends up doing all of the work, well, it wouldn’t be the first time she’s carried a group project on her own.
-
The meeting place is a gym in Shibuya, not far from Central Street. Ryuji originally suggested training in the Metaverse, but Makoto was quick to veto the idea; if it’s only the two of them, it’s too risky.
Still, she can see the value of staying close to the conditions of an actual battle.
Makoto feels a little selfconscious about it, but she arrives wearing skintight leggings and the closest-fitting top she owns, along with a silk scarf she found in her sister’s wardrobe. It’s not exactly her Metaverse outfit, perhaps, but it’s close enough for the purpose. If their clothes make the move impractical, it’s best to establish that now, rather than when they have Shadows bearing down on them.
She’s never used a gym before, and she’s a little intimidated by the prospect of waiting inside one for Ryuji to arrive. She has her doubts about his punctuality, somehow. But he meets her at the door, beaming, and ushers her in.
“Oh, awesome, you came! Hey, thanks for agreeing to this. If we can pull this move off, it’s gonna be so badass.”
Perhaps he is taking this seriously, after all. “I’ll do whatever I can to help improve our chances.”
“I mean, our chances already went up, like, ten times just when you joined the team,” Ryuji says.
His praise hits her harder than she would have expected, somehow. She laughs, embarrassed. “You seemed to be managing without me.”
“Yeah, maybe, but we’d be screwed if you hadn’t switched sides,” Ryuji says. “You’d figured us out, right?”
Makoto shifts uncomfortably, brushing her hair back behind her ear. “I’m sorry about that.”
Ryuji shakes his head. “Nah, it’s over. I’m just saying, you’re a great ally, but you were great at tracking us down, too. I’m really glad you’re on our side.”
Makoto doesn’t know what to say. She heads over to the reception desk and pays for a gym session, to give herself a moment to consider how she feels about this.
It doesn’t feel bad, exactly. But it feels strange. She’s used to praise, given her academic record, but it often feels condescending, somehow; she’s not used to such open admiration.
“Awesome,” Ryuji says, breaking into a grin, as she turns away from the counter. “C’mon, they’ve got punching bags over here and we are going to mess them up.”
-
Makoto leans against the gym wall, breathing through gritted teeth. Trying to control her frustration.
“You need a break?” Ryuji asks.
“No. I can do this.”
“It’s fine if you need a break, y’know? I wouldn’t complain.” Ryuji sits down right there, on the gym floor. “It’s kind of crazy, what we’re trying to do.”
“I’m sorry,” Makoto says. She winces at the break in her own voice; she was hoping to sound less intense than that.
Ryuji looks up at her, frowning in surprise. “What’re you apologising for?”
Makoto shakes her head. “I should be better at this.” He approached her with his idea, he’s counting on her-
“That’s what we’re here for, right?” Ryuji asks. “We’re training. We’re getting better. You’ve seen how much I’ve been screwing up, right?”
Makoto draws breath, and then she realises she doesn’t know what to say. That’s different? What makes it different? The fact that she expects Ryuji to make mistakes? It would be cruel to say so.
“We’re doing great,” Ryuji says. “And, hey, even if we don’t get this right, I’m just psyched we’re trying. Pretty sure we’re still gonna fight better together after this.”
Maybe he’s right; maybe they are learning things, whether they master this move or not. When they’re battling Shadows, Makoto tends to stay focused on the enemy, rather than her teammates. Now, training with Ryuji in a safe environment, she’s gained a clearer idea of how he moves, what his strengths are, how to notice when he’s flagging.
It calms her down, a little. Maybe she’s not just wasting his time.
Earlier, she was thinking that they’d have to abandon the idea if they didn’t make more progress in this session. Now, instead, she hears herself saying, “I think we’ll need more time to get this right. Are you busy after school tomorrow?”
-
There are times when Makoto’s life feels like a constant struggle to meet everyone’s high expectations. She’s very conscious that her success is hard-won, that she always needs to make an effort. If she lets her studying slip, she’ll fail; she’ll let everyone down.
With Ryuji, in their daily training sessions, it doesn’t feel like she needs to keep chasing after some ever-receding goal. He admires her already; she doesn’t have to fight to be good enough. He’ll be pleased if she improves, but she won’t have failed him if she doesn’t.
Maybe it should feel like an insult. She could be better than this; why doesn’t he expect more from her? Why is he satisfied with ‘good enough’?
In a way, though, it’s refreshing. She spends so much time exhausting herself. Maybe taking a more relaxed attitude isn’t so bad.
-
“Oh, hey, Makoto,” Ryuji greets her, when he comes out of the main class building and sees her at the gates. “You waiting for someone?”
“I thought I was waiting for you,” Makoto says. “Are we not training today?”
“Oh, damn, did I not tell you?” Ryuji asks. “Gym’s closed today. Some company booked it out for some kind of teambuilding thing.”
“Oh.” Makoto feels a little silly. She should have checked in advance, rather than simply assuming the training sessions would keep happening every day. She hadn’t realised, until this moment, how much she’s been looking forward to them. “Is there anywhere else we could use?”
Ryuji frowns slightly. It’s clear the possibility hadn’t crossed his mind. “Uh, I guess there’s my room?” A moment passes. “Wait, no. Definitely not. We cannot train in my room.”
“What about mine?” Makoto asks.
“That’s not better!”
“My sister isn’t home. We might need to move some furniture around, but-”
Ah. She can become so focused and practical, on occasion, that she fails to consider what others might be thinking. Now that she pays attention, she thinks Ryuji might be blushing a little.
“You don’t need to worry,” she says. “There’s no possibility of anything romantic happening between us.”
“Uh, wow,” Ryuji says. “You didn’t have to say it like that.”
Makoto pauses. “Were you... hoping for-?”
“No!” Ryuji cuts her off, his blush deepening with impressive speed. “It was just kind of harsh!”
“I see,” Makoto says. “I apologise.”
“I mean,” Ryuji says. “I mean, when I say no, I’m not saying you’re not, like, awesome and, uh. Hot? I’m not saying, like, there’s something wrong with you - I’m not gonna complain if - like, if you wanted to - but you...”
He looks like he’s about to die of embarrassment on the spot. Makoto wants to interrupt him - it would be the compassionate thing to do - but a terrible, curious part of her also wants to see what he’ll say if she just lets him keep talking.
“But you don’t!” Ryuji exclaims. “And that’s fine! Because we’re friends!” He hesitates. “We’re friends, right? Like, you think of me as a friend?”
For Ryuji’s sake, Makoto just about manages not to laugh. “We’re friends.”
“Great,” Ryuji says. “Honestly, just being friends with you is cool as hell, so I’m definitely not complaining.”
There’s a silence, which Ryuji spends looking, with apparent determination, at everything that isn’t Makoto in the vicinity.
“So,” Makoto says, “should we train in my room?”
“Oh, my God, no,” Ryuji says. “Did you hear the shit I just said? I’m gonna go home and lock myself in my room and just never talk to anyone again.”
Makoto can’t entirely blame him. She’s paying the cost of not stepping in to save him from himself, she supposes.
“But the gym’s open tomorrow, isn’t it?” she asks. “Will I see you then?”
Ryuji groans. “Fine.”
“The move won’t work if you won’t look at me, you know.”
“I get it,” Ryuji says, staring fixedly at the school gates. “But, uh, that means I don’t have to look at you until tomorrow, right?”
-
All that practice, all those training sessions, and they mess up the first time they actually use the move.
They’ve prepared a couple of different versions, and it turns out they’re not great at communicating which one they’re using. Makoto leaps into the air, expecting Ryuji to launch her up even further with his weapon, and realises too late that Ryuji’s trying to do the other attack: the one where he knocks the enemy into range of her fists.
Ryuji knocks the Shadow a good distance, but Makoto, of course, is nowhere near it. She lands with a furious snarl.
Ryuji’s obviously realised what’s gone wrong, and he’s started to laugh. Makoto’s far too frustrated to see the funny side right now.
Maybe it’s a joke, but Ryuji presses a canned drink into her hand. The original plan was for her to crush it in victory. She’s not in the mood for a victory move when they’ve failed so badly; she hurls the can as hard as she can.
The can slams into the Shadow’s head, knocking it out.
There’s a moment’s silence, and then Makoto begins to laugh as well.
“Sorry!” Ryuji says, through breathless giggles. “Sorry, I thought we were doing the other one.”
“It’s fine,” Makoto says. She’s surprised to realise how broadly she’s smiling. “We’ll get it next time.”