That Looks Like Pizza To You?
Silent Hill 2 isn't nearly as scary playing with company as an adult as it was playing alone as a teenager, but somehow it still has the ability to work into my mind and leave me thinking about it long after I've set the controller down.
Considering how long it's been since I last played this game, I remember it in a surprising amount of detail. Which is fortunate, because otherwise I'd be bumbling around with no idea of where to go next or how to solve the puzzles. I suppose games stick in your mind if you spent most of your first playthrough absolutely terrified.
Under the cut, I talk a bit about the character of James. Major spoilers for Silent Hill 2.
I saw someone on Tumblr saying, in their tags, that James Sunderland 'effectively doesn't show any remorse over his actions because he doesn't feel like he did anything wrong', and I reflexively exclaimed 'hey, fuck you!' aloud. I didn't realise I still had such strong feelings about this! But James felt guilt and remorse, goddammit, he literally put himself through hell, he created his experience of Silent Hill to torture himself because he felt that was what he deserved.
That doesn't make his actions okay! But don't try to say he 'doesn't feel like he did anything wrong', because that's incorrect and also makes the entire game less interesting. I'm not interested in the story of someone who did a terrible thing and trotted off whistling. I'm interested in the story of someone who did a terrible thing and tore himself apart over it.
Finding discussion of Silent Hill 2 that doesn't bother me can be tricky, because my feelings about James Sunderland are so strong and so specific. I hate seeing people describe him as evil, or say he didn't love Mary, or claim he didn't feel guilt for his actions. But it also bothers me when people claim he killed Mary for her sake. It's possible he tried to justify it to himself by thinking of it as merciful, but I firmly believe it was a selfish act. So my issues aren't just with the interpretations of people who hate James; I can also struggle with the interpretations of people who like him.
I'm going to have to sit on my hands so I don't end up yelling 'look, I'm not endorsing murder, but how dare you suggest he didn't feel bad about it' at strangers on the Internet. It's rough when your favourite character literally murdered his wife and you're left going 'I'M NOT SAYING WIFE MURDER IS OKAY, BUT'; it's just never a good opening line.
A rambling, semi-coherent paragraph I've scribbled down in my diary:
James didn't kill his wife because he's a bad person; James is a bad person because he killed his wife. He's an ordinary man; there's nothing about him that particularly predisposes him to murder. He could have been any one of us. I think dismissing him as evil means you're saying 'he was a terrible person', rather than the more interesting 'he was a desperate person who did a terrible thing'. In another world, perhaps he could have been happy; perhaps he could have deserved to be happy. Chance and weakness. Silent Hill 2 isn't a story about a monster; it's a tragedy.
I can't believe I'm back to thinking all day about James Sunderland. It's like I'm sixteen years old again.
There was a terrible moment, a couple of days ago, where I went 'hey, maybe I should resume the "write a hundred fics about James Sunderland" challenge I abandoned fourteen years ago; if you count the horrible Pyramid Head/James noncon I just found in an old e-mail, I got halfway through!' No. I should absolutely not do that.
Considering how long it's been since I last played this game, I remember it in a surprising amount of detail. Which is fortunate, because otherwise I'd be bumbling around with no idea of where to go next or how to solve the puzzles. I suppose games stick in your mind if you spent most of your first playthrough absolutely terrified.
Under the cut, I talk a bit about the character of James. Major spoilers for Silent Hill 2.
I saw someone on Tumblr saying, in their tags, that James Sunderland 'effectively doesn't show any remorse over his actions because he doesn't feel like he did anything wrong', and I reflexively exclaimed 'hey, fuck you!' aloud. I didn't realise I still had such strong feelings about this! But James felt guilt and remorse, goddammit, he literally put himself through hell, he created his experience of Silent Hill to torture himself because he felt that was what he deserved.
That doesn't make his actions okay! But don't try to say he 'doesn't feel like he did anything wrong', because that's incorrect and also makes the entire game less interesting. I'm not interested in the story of someone who did a terrible thing and trotted off whistling. I'm interested in the story of someone who did a terrible thing and tore himself apart over it.
Finding discussion of Silent Hill 2 that doesn't bother me can be tricky, because my feelings about James Sunderland are so strong and so specific. I hate seeing people describe him as evil, or say he didn't love Mary, or claim he didn't feel guilt for his actions. But it also bothers me when people claim he killed Mary for her sake. It's possible he tried to justify it to himself by thinking of it as merciful, but I firmly believe it was a selfish act. So my issues aren't just with the interpretations of people who hate James; I can also struggle with the interpretations of people who like him.
I'm going to have to sit on my hands so I don't end up yelling 'look, I'm not endorsing murder, but how dare you suggest he didn't feel bad about it' at strangers on the Internet. It's rough when your favourite character literally murdered his wife and you're left going 'I'M NOT SAYING WIFE MURDER IS OKAY, BUT'; it's just never a good opening line.
A rambling, semi-coherent paragraph I've scribbled down in my diary:
James didn't kill his wife because he's a bad person; James is a bad person because he killed his wife. He's an ordinary man; there's nothing about him that particularly predisposes him to murder. He could have been any one of us. I think dismissing him as evil means you're saying 'he was a terrible person', rather than the more interesting 'he was a desperate person who did a terrible thing'. In another world, perhaps he could have been happy; perhaps he could have deserved to be happy. Chance and weakness. Silent Hill 2 isn't a story about a monster; it's a tragedy.
I can't believe I'm back to thinking all day about James Sunderland. It's like I'm sixteen years old again.
There was a terrible moment, a couple of days ago, where I went 'hey, maybe I should resume the "write a hundred fics about James Sunderland" challenge I abandoned fourteen years ago; if you count the horrible Pyramid Head/James noncon I just found in an old e-mail, I got halfway through!' No. I should absolutely not do that.