We've Been Overruled By The Audience.
It was Final Fantasy VIII's twentieth birthday on the eleventh of February, and I got a little emotional about it. I'm so glad this game exists. I'm so glad I was accidentally sold it when I tried to buy a different game. I'm so glad I played it when I was thirteen years old and I really needed it. I don't know who I'd be if I'd never met Squall Leonhart.
I really want to do something in honour of this game. Maybe I should try to finish my 'Squall is contracted to be Yuna's guardian' crossover with Final Fantasy X. It seemed too ambitious, but maybe it could work as a one-shot if I just focus on crucial scenes from their pilgrimage.
The other event on the eleventh: I attended a recording of The Unbelievable Truth! But, unfortunately, I forgot to make notes afterwards, so it's all escaped my mind. Here are a few scraps I've managed to pull out of my unreliable memory, at any rate.
The panellists were Henning Wehn, Lou Sanders, Lucy Porter and Frankie Boyle; the host, as ever, was David Mitchell. The goal in The Unbelievable Truth, if anyone's unfamiliar with the rules, is to spot the ridiculous truths concealed in a largely false lecture.
For the second time on the show, Wehn gave a lecture on Germany.
Wehn: I was quite upset to be asked to give a second lecture on Germany...
Sanders: (buzzes) I don't think that's true.
Wehn: It is.
Mitchell: I... sorry, I don't understand. You've buzzed in to say that something isn't true.
Sanders: I've forgotten the format of the show.
Mitchell: And Henning says it is true, so I think we have to give you a point for an inadvertent truth, regardless of what you actually said when you buzzed. She's cunningly tricked you into saying it was true, Henning.
Wehn's full opening line was 'I was quite upset to be asked to give a second lecture on Germany, as it suggests there was something wrong with the first.' He concluded with 'I trust that I have now given a satisfactory overview of Germany and that a third lecture will not be necessary.'
Wehn: In Germany, it is illegal to give a child a stupid name.
Sanders: They let you be called Henning.
Wehn actually made a callback to the last Unbelievable Truth recording I attended! After finishing his lecture with three points: 'I know how I'm going to play this.' (The last time he'd got three points, he'd refused to play for the rest of the game so he wouldn't risk losing them. An effective strategy, it turned out, but perhaps not the most desired one for a comedy panel show.)
Porter buzzed at one point and then agonised over whether she was making the right call. 'If it's any reassurance,' Mitchell said, 'this game absolutely does not matter.'
A line I definitely laughed too loudly at in Boyle's lecture on beards:
Boyle: Kanye West's beard is insured for eight million dollars. Every year he shaves it, sells it and donates the proceeds to a charity for helping poor, disadvantaged children... grow beards.
Wehn's second lecture was on time. One of his truths was 'Scientists have been unable to prove that time exists'.
Later:
Wehn: A casserole is a unit of time, being the amount of time it takes to cook a casserole. If your casserole becomes burnt, too much time has passed.
Porter: (buzzes) The second half of that is true.
Mitchell: Well, that's not one of the truths Henning was supposed to include, but I think you've spotted an inadvertent truth.
Boyle: Haven't we just established that time might not exist? If your casserole becomes burnt, too much heat has gone into the casserole.
Mitchell: That is true. All right, Lucy, you don't get the point because time doesn't exist.
Points aren't typically awarded for buzzing long after the fact, but Porter managed to get around that.
Porter: I know I'm buzzing late, but time doesn't exist, so...
A man in the audience occasionally heckled. Eventually, the producer interrupted the recording and had the heckler escorted from the premises.
'That was incredibly awkward,' Mitchell said after the removal, desperately.
I really want to do something in honour of this game. Maybe I should try to finish my 'Squall is contracted to be Yuna's guardian' crossover with Final Fantasy X. It seemed too ambitious, but maybe it could work as a one-shot if I just focus on crucial scenes from their pilgrimage.
The other event on the eleventh: I attended a recording of The Unbelievable Truth! But, unfortunately, I forgot to make notes afterwards, so it's all escaped my mind. Here are a few scraps I've managed to pull out of my unreliable memory, at any rate.
The panellists were Henning Wehn, Lou Sanders, Lucy Porter and Frankie Boyle; the host, as ever, was David Mitchell. The goal in The Unbelievable Truth, if anyone's unfamiliar with the rules, is to spot the ridiculous truths concealed in a largely false lecture.
For the second time on the show, Wehn gave a lecture on Germany.
Wehn: I was quite upset to be asked to give a second lecture on Germany...
Sanders: (buzzes) I don't think that's true.
Wehn: It is.
Mitchell: I... sorry, I don't understand. You've buzzed in to say that something isn't true.
Sanders: I've forgotten the format of the show.
Mitchell: And Henning says it is true, so I think we have to give you a point for an inadvertent truth, regardless of what you actually said when you buzzed. She's cunningly tricked you into saying it was true, Henning.
Wehn's full opening line was 'I was quite upset to be asked to give a second lecture on Germany, as it suggests there was something wrong with the first.' He concluded with 'I trust that I have now given a satisfactory overview of Germany and that a third lecture will not be necessary.'
Wehn: In Germany, it is illegal to give a child a stupid name.
Sanders: They let you be called Henning.
Wehn actually made a callback to the last Unbelievable Truth recording I attended! After finishing his lecture with three points: 'I know how I'm going to play this.' (The last time he'd got three points, he'd refused to play for the rest of the game so he wouldn't risk losing them. An effective strategy, it turned out, but perhaps not the most desired one for a comedy panel show.)
Porter buzzed at one point and then agonised over whether she was making the right call. 'If it's any reassurance,' Mitchell said, 'this game absolutely does not matter.'
A line I definitely laughed too loudly at in Boyle's lecture on beards:
Boyle: Kanye West's beard is insured for eight million dollars. Every year he shaves it, sells it and donates the proceeds to a charity for helping poor, disadvantaged children... grow beards.
Wehn's second lecture was on time. One of his truths was 'Scientists have been unable to prove that time exists'.
Later:
Wehn: A casserole is a unit of time, being the amount of time it takes to cook a casserole. If your casserole becomes burnt, too much time has passed.
Porter: (buzzes) The second half of that is true.
Mitchell: Well, that's not one of the truths Henning was supposed to include, but I think you've spotted an inadvertent truth.
Boyle: Haven't we just established that time might not exist? If your casserole becomes burnt, too much heat has gone into the casserole.
Mitchell: That is true. All right, Lucy, you don't get the point because time doesn't exist.
Points aren't typically awarded for buzzing long after the fact, but Porter managed to get around that.
Porter: I know I'm buzzing late, but time doesn't exist, so...
A man in the audience occasionally heckled. Eventually, the producer interrupted the recording and had the heckler escorted from the premises.
'That was incredibly awkward,' Mitchell said after the removal, desperately.