Fanfiction: With These Signs Upon Our Souls, Chapter Ten (FFVIII/FFXIII)
Q: Riona, didn't you say in mid-December that you thought you might be able to finish posting this before the end of the year?
A: Er, well, yes. But, in my defence, I didn't specify which year.
(This is not the ending, but it's so close. So, so close.)
This particular chapter may make more sense if you've played Final Fantasy XIII-2, but I can't guarantee that it won't make less sense if you've played Final Fantasy XIII-2. There is not a great deal of sense to be found in Final Fantasy XIII-2.
Title: With These Signs Upon Our Souls, Chapter Ten
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII/Final Fantasy XIII
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1,800 (this chapter; 25,000 cumulative)
Summary: The exam brief is simple enough: protect the fal'Cie from the Timber resistance. Squad B are about to get the mission as wrong as humanly possible.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Ultimecia sits in silence upon her throne, waiting for them to approach. Squall is feeling worn out after battling through the monsters guarding her castle, and he knows the others must feel the same, but he tries to hide it. This is the only thing left, he tells himself. He can put everything into this battle, because it’s the last thing he’ll ever have to do.
He grips the handle of his gunblade, preparing to draw it, but a hand on his arm stops him.
“We might not even have to fight,” Rinoa says, quietly. “We can try just talking to her. Maybe she’ll listen.”
-
They have to fight, of course. The fal’Cie evidently thought it needed six people to carry out this task; they were never just going to talk to the sorceress.
Kan you tell me, l’Cie, that you would not stay time if you had the power?
Maybe not. But, one way or another, it’s a question they won’t have to think about for much longer.
Ultimecia was born at the end of existence. Obliterating history probably doesn’t seem like such a big thing to do when that history’s already been and gone. Everyone who will be affected is dead already, from her perspective. Why not compress time?
This is why Squall didn’t want to speak to her; he didn’t want this uncertainty. Can he really say that compressing time - making sure humanity continues to exist, in some warped way - is something that has to be stopped?
Right now, all he can do is throw away the big picture. Forget about humanity and existence and the fate of the world. He doesn’t know what’s right; there’s no way of knowing.
But he knows what their Focus is, and he knows that the others don’t want to be Cie’th.
There’s a moment when Squall is calling up Shiva and Rinoa falls at his feet with a cry of pain, blasted across the room, and he looks down at her and he realises with a twist of his gut that she’s in trouble. She doesn’t have their training, their experience; that last spell hit her hard, and if she isn’t healed now-
For just an instant he tries to ask himself whether he should carry on with the summon, whether it really makes a difference if she dies here or ends up imprisoned in crystal for eternity.
But he’s already dismissed Shiva, because he knows it’s not even a question. Maybe becoming crystal is the same as dying, but he’s still going to protect all of them. If he can keep them alive, even if it’s only for a few more minutes, he will.
He’s helping her to her feet before the glow of curative magic has even faded, and he looks up to make sure they’re not in danger and locks eyes with the sorceress and
locks eyes with the sorceress and
and all he can see are her eyes, and
-
The sky is dark red and casts no light; he can see the skewed black silhouettes of broken buildings against it, rising above him, but he can’t make out any detail in his surroundings. The ground, when he pulls off a glove and crouches to touch it, feels like it’s covered in some sort of sand or dust. Everything is silent.
He doesn’t know how he got to this place. What happened? Did Ellone try to pull him out of there, end up dropping him somewhere accidentally?
It doesn’t really matter any more.
At least he’s alone. When time runs out and he becomes a monster, there won’t be anyone around for him to put in danger. He’s killed enough people already. More than enough.
Why did he attack that fal’Cie? What was he even thinking? He was doing it... what, for Ellone? It wouldn’t have changed anything for her. Some stupid, impossible stab at revenge for something he didn’t even remember, and now everyone he’s ever mattered to is worse than dead.
He deserves so much worse than being a Cie’th.
Squall starts walking, even though there’s no point. He needs to do something, anything that isn’t just standing there and thinking about the look in the others’ eyes as they changed, one by one.
But of course walking isn’t enough. It isn’t the kind of thing you can stop picturing.
They all looked at him, at the end. Blaming him? Begging him to save them somehow?
He stares at the dead sky.
He let himself get attached. He’s known for so long that getting attached to anyone is a mistake, that the people you care about only ever leave you. He knew from the moment they were all branded - the moment they were branded because of him - that there was a clock counting down on their lives. Somehow, even knowing that, he was still stupid enough to let the others matter to him.
And now he’s alone.
Selphie’s down, you fuckers, am I the only one even paying attention-
He’s... alone?
I don’t know any healing magic - you’d better bring her round, Dincht, I’m not having her on my conscience-
Squall’s still out, I’m tryin’ to-
I’m on it.
(Rinoa?)
(No. There’s nobody here.)
This a battle or a hospital ward? Gonna be no one left to fight her at this rate. You’d better stay on your feet, Instructor.
I intend to.
There’s a wind roaring in his ears, but the air feels still and heavy around him.
Squall, man, wake up! C’mon! We need you!
He’s alone. He’s alone. He’s...
There’s something ahead of him in the darkness. A dim light.
He runs to catch up with it.
It’s someone else. A girl, or a young woman. She turns at the sound of his footsteps with an intake of breath, grabbing... it looks like she’s grabbing something, she holds it like it’s a weapon, a sword, but there’s nothing in her hands.
Her reaction makes him go for his gunblade automatically, but it isn’t here, he must have lost that as well, and he’s barely had time to register that when the girl comes out of her combat stance, her eyes widening.
“Squall?”
What?
He’s never met her before. Her hair is pink. He would have remembered.
Or is this like the orphanage?
“How are you here?” she asks. “This is Noel’s dream. Isn’t it?”
“What are you talking about? How do you know me?”
“You don’t remember me?” She hesitates. “Or... maybe we haven’t met yet? I’m still kind of new to this time-travel thing. It’s a little confusing.”
Squall’s first instinct is to dismiss what she’s saying as ridiculous, some kind of delusion, but... he’s travelled in time himself, hasn’t he?
Is this Time Compression? All of time has been drawn together, and now he’s meeting people from his future?
How can he have a future? The others are all Cie’th already; it can’t be long before he follows them.
She smiles a little. It reminds him of Rinoa, and he has to look away. “I forgot: you don’t talk much, do you? I’m Serah. Lightning’s sister.” She says it as if it should mean something to him. “So how did you get here?”
He stares out at the darkened landscape. “I don’t know.”
“Were, um.” She hesitates. “Were you fighting someone?”
He looks back at her. Now that he pays attention, he can’t tell where the light around her is coming from. She isn’t holding a flashlight. Some kind of magic? “We lost.”
She nods. “Okay. Squall, this isn’t real. This is a dream. The person you were fighting, they put you here so you wouldn’t bother them any more. You have to wake up.”
This is a dream?
I know what dreams feel like, he wants to say, but then he remembers Laguna. Is this something more like that?
Wait. Does that mean...?
No. He can’t start thinking - he can’t do that. They’re Cie’th. They’re gone.
But maybe, if what Serah is telling him is true, he can at least defeat Ultimecia in their memory.
“How do I wake up?” he asks.
She laughs, awkwardly. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? If you find out, maybe you can tell me.”
Is that supposed to mean she’s real? Someone else sharing the same dream, like when he and the others had the same visions of Laguna?
(Thinking of Laguna makes him think of Selphie. He didn’t even know her, and he got her dragged into this.)
But Serah knew his name without being told. She’s a figment of his imagination.
This is a dream. Squall looks around again, trying to keep that in his mind. It looks real, but the red sky, the stillness of the air, the wreck of whatever town this used to be, it’s all a dream.
If he’s dreaming, his real body has to be somewhere.
He closes his eyes and concentrates. Where is he? What is he feeling? What is he-
Squall!
It feels like something in his chest has been wrenched sideways. They’re gone.
Damn it, wake up! Squall!
“I think someone’s saying my name,” he says, his eyes still closed.
“Maybe that’s the answer,” Serah says. “Try focusing on that.”
Squall shakes his head. “It isn’t real.”
“You can still try, can’t you?”
Squall, don’t you dare die on me, a voice hisses in his ear. Don’t you fucking dare. We’re all getting through this. I’m gonna strike the final blow, and like hell you’re not gonna be watching.
It’s so familiar. Squall tries to focus.
I know you’re stronger than this. You’ve beaten me. You’re really gonna let this one fight take you down?
“Seifer?”
Squall opens his eyes.
A field of stars. An illusion, like the ruins. But the people around him are real. The enemy is real. His allies - Zell, Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa - they’re real, they’re here.
And Seifer is real, letting go of Squall’s jacket and smirking at him.
“Are you gonna help or what?”
-
There’s a long silence after Ultimecia falls.
“Is that it?” Zell asks. He’s speaking more quietly than usual, but it still sounds too loud in the almost total absence of noise. “Did we complete our Focus?”
Space disintegrates around them, still without making a sound, and... they’re standing in bright sunlight, in the flower field by the old orphanage. There’s a light breeze. Squall can hear birdsong.
Ellone, he thinks. She brought them back.
“Well,” Rinoa says, with a small smile, “even if that wasn’t our Focus, I think we just saved the world. That’s gotta count for something.”
And then their brands begin to glow. They were right, Squall realises: that was their Focus, and now this is the end for them. It’s a better ending than the alternative, but it’s still the end.
He looks around at the others - Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, Quistis, Seifer - as they start to rise off the ground and so does he, and he realises - he doesn’t want to lose any of them. He’s not ready for this.
He draws breath to say something - he doesn’t know what, a goodbye, something - but-
Epilogue
A: Er, well, yes. But, in my defence, I didn't specify which year.
(This is not the ending, but it's so close. So, so close.)
This particular chapter may make more sense if you've played Final Fantasy XIII-2, but I can't guarantee that it won't make less sense if you've played Final Fantasy XIII-2. There is not a great deal of sense to be found in Final Fantasy XIII-2.
Title: With These Signs Upon Our Souls, Chapter Ten
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII/Final Fantasy XIII
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1,800 (this chapter; 25,000 cumulative)
Summary: The exam brief is simple enough: protect the fal'Cie from the Timber resistance. Squad B are about to get the mission as wrong as humanly possible.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Ultimecia sits in silence upon her throne, waiting for them to approach. Squall is feeling worn out after battling through the monsters guarding her castle, and he knows the others must feel the same, but he tries to hide it. This is the only thing left, he tells himself. He can put everything into this battle, because it’s the last thing he’ll ever have to do.
He grips the handle of his gunblade, preparing to draw it, but a hand on his arm stops him.
“We might not even have to fight,” Rinoa says, quietly. “We can try just talking to her. Maybe she’ll listen.”
-
They have to fight, of course. The fal’Cie evidently thought it needed six people to carry out this task; they were never just going to talk to the sorceress.
Kan you tell me, l’Cie, that you would not stay time if you had the power?
Maybe not. But, one way or another, it’s a question they won’t have to think about for much longer.
Ultimecia was born at the end of existence. Obliterating history probably doesn’t seem like such a big thing to do when that history’s already been and gone. Everyone who will be affected is dead already, from her perspective. Why not compress time?
This is why Squall didn’t want to speak to her; he didn’t want this uncertainty. Can he really say that compressing time - making sure humanity continues to exist, in some warped way - is something that has to be stopped?
Right now, all he can do is throw away the big picture. Forget about humanity and existence and the fate of the world. He doesn’t know what’s right; there’s no way of knowing.
But he knows what their Focus is, and he knows that the others don’t want to be Cie’th.
There’s a moment when Squall is calling up Shiva and Rinoa falls at his feet with a cry of pain, blasted across the room, and he looks down at her and he realises with a twist of his gut that she’s in trouble. She doesn’t have their training, their experience; that last spell hit her hard, and if she isn’t healed now-
For just an instant he tries to ask himself whether he should carry on with the summon, whether it really makes a difference if she dies here or ends up imprisoned in crystal for eternity.
But he’s already dismissed Shiva, because he knows it’s not even a question. Maybe becoming crystal is the same as dying, but he’s still going to protect all of them. If he can keep them alive, even if it’s only for a few more minutes, he will.
He’s helping her to her feet before the glow of curative magic has even faded, and he looks up to make sure they’re not in danger and locks eyes with the sorceress and
locks eyes with the sorceress and
and all he can see are her eyes, and
-
The sky is dark red and casts no light; he can see the skewed black silhouettes of broken buildings against it, rising above him, but he can’t make out any detail in his surroundings. The ground, when he pulls off a glove and crouches to touch it, feels like it’s covered in some sort of sand or dust. Everything is silent.
He doesn’t know how he got to this place. What happened? Did Ellone try to pull him out of there, end up dropping him somewhere accidentally?
It doesn’t really matter any more.
At least he’s alone. When time runs out and he becomes a monster, there won’t be anyone around for him to put in danger. He’s killed enough people already. More than enough.
Why did he attack that fal’Cie? What was he even thinking? He was doing it... what, for Ellone? It wouldn’t have changed anything for her. Some stupid, impossible stab at revenge for something he didn’t even remember, and now everyone he’s ever mattered to is worse than dead.
He deserves so much worse than being a Cie’th.
Squall starts walking, even though there’s no point. He needs to do something, anything that isn’t just standing there and thinking about the look in the others’ eyes as they changed, one by one.
But of course walking isn’t enough. It isn’t the kind of thing you can stop picturing.
They all looked at him, at the end. Blaming him? Begging him to save them somehow?
He stares at the dead sky.
He let himself get attached. He’s known for so long that getting attached to anyone is a mistake, that the people you care about only ever leave you. He knew from the moment they were all branded - the moment they were branded because of him - that there was a clock counting down on their lives. Somehow, even knowing that, he was still stupid enough to let the others matter to him.
And now he’s alone.
Selphie’s down, you fuckers, am I the only one even paying attention-
He’s... alone?
I don’t know any healing magic - you’d better bring her round, Dincht, I’m not having her on my conscience-
Squall’s still out, I’m tryin’ to-
I’m on it.
(Rinoa?)
(No. There’s nobody here.)
This a battle or a hospital ward? Gonna be no one left to fight her at this rate. You’d better stay on your feet, Instructor.
I intend to.
There’s a wind roaring in his ears, but the air feels still and heavy around him.
Squall, man, wake up! C’mon! We need you!
He’s alone. He’s alone. He’s...
There’s something ahead of him in the darkness. A dim light.
He runs to catch up with it.
It’s someone else. A girl, or a young woman. She turns at the sound of his footsteps with an intake of breath, grabbing... it looks like she’s grabbing something, she holds it like it’s a weapon, a sword, but there’s nothing in her hands.
Her reaction makes him go for his gunblade automatically, but it isn’t here, he must have lost that as well, and he’s barely had time to register that when the girl comes out of her combat stance, her eyes widening.
“Squall?”
What?
He’s never met her before. Her hair is pink. He would have remembered.
Or is this like the orphanage?
“How are you here?” she asks. “This is Noel’s dream. Isn’t it?”
“What are you talking about? How do you know me?”
“You don’t remember me?” She hesitates. “Or... maybe we haven’t met yet? I’m still kind of new to this time-travel thing. It’s a little confusing.”
Squall’s first instinct is to dismiss what she’s saying as ridiculous, some kind of delusion, but... he’s travelled in time himself, hasn’t he?
Is this Time Compression? All of time has been drawn together, and now he’s meeting people from his future?
How can he have a future? The others are all Cie’th already; it can’t be long before he follows them.
She smiles a little. It reminds him of Rinoa, and he has to look away. “I forgot: you don’t talk much, do you? I’m Serah. Lightning’s sister.” She says it as if it should mean something to him. “So how did you get here?”
He stares out at the darkened landscape. “I don’t know.”
“Were, um.” She hesitates. “Were you fighting someone?”
He looks back at her. Now that he pays attention, he can’t tell where the light around her is coming from. She isn’t holding a flashlight. Some kind of magic? “We lost.”
She nods. “Okay. Squall, this isn’t real. This is a dream. The person you were fighting, they put you here so you wouldn’t bother them any more. You have to wake up.”
This is a dream?
I know what dreams feel like, he wants to say, but then he remembers Laguna. Is this something more like that?
Wait. Does that mean...?
No. He can’t start thinking - he can’t do that. They’re Cie’th. They’re gone.
But maybe, if what Serah is telling him is true, he can at least defeat Ultimecia in their memory.
“How do I wake up?” he asks.
She laughs, awkwardly. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? If you find out, maybe you can tell me.”
Is that supposed to mean she’s real? Someone else sharing the same dream, like when he and the others had the same visions of Laguna?
(Thinking of Laguna makes him think of Selphie. He didn’t even know her, and he got her dragged into this.)
But Serah knew his name without being told. She’s a figment of his imagination.
This is a dream. Squall looks around again, trying to keep that in his mind. It looks real, but the red sky, the stillness of the air, the wreck of whatever town this used to be, it’s all a dream.
If he’s dreaming, his real body has to be somewhere.
He closes his eyes and concentrates. Where is he? What is he feeling? What is he-
Squall!
It feels like something in his chest has been wrenched sideways. They’re gone.
Damn it, wake up! Squall!
“I think someone’s saying my name,” he says, his eyes still closed.
“Maybe that’s the answer,” Serah says. “Try focusing on that.”
Squall shakes his head. “It isn’t real.”
“You can still try, can’t you?”
Squall, don’t you dare die on me, a voice hisses in his ear. Don’t you fucking dare. We’re all getting through this. I’m gonna strike the final blow, and like hell you’re not gonna be watching.
It’s so familiar. Squall tries to focus.
I know you’re stronger than this. You’ve beaten me. You’re really gonna let this one fight take you down?
“Seifer?”
Squall opens his eyes.
A field of stars. An illusion, like the ruins. But the people around him are real. The enemy is real. His allies - Zell, Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa - they’re real, they’re here.
And Seifer is real, letting go of Squall’s jacket and smirking at him.
“Are you gonna help or what?”
-
There’s a long silence after Ultimecia falls.
“Is that it?” Zell asks. He’s speaking more quietly than usual, but it still sounds too loud in the almost total absence of noise. “Did we complete our Focus?”
Space disintegrates around them, still without making a sound, and... they’re standing in bright sunlight, in the flower field by the old orphanage. There’s a light breeze. Squall can hear birdsong.
Ellone, he thinks. She brought them back.
“Well,” Rinoa says, with a small smile, “even if that wasn’t our Focus, I think we just saved the world. That’s gotta count for something.”
And then their brands begin to glow. They were right, Squall realises: that was their Focus, and now this is the end for them. It’s a better ending than the alternative, but it’s still the end.
He looks around at the others - Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, Quistis, Seifer - as they start to rise off the ground and so does he, and he realises - he doesn’t want to lose any of them. He’s not ready for this.
He draws breath to say something - he doesn’t know what, a goodbye, something - but-
Epilogue