What? RUNNER Is Evolving! PRESS B IMMEDIATELY.
TERRIBLE FIC IDEA: The Last of Us/Pokémon crossover, in which the Paras line are the cause of the outbreak. Runners have little Paras mushrooms on top of their heads; Clickers have the large Parasect mushroom. Possibly there is some sort of glowy Runner-to-Clicker evolution sequence, rather than a gradual transformation. Ellie has a Rattata. NOBODY WRITE THIS.
Adventures in playing Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII:
(I am playing as Lightning, also known as 'the saviour'. It is my task to... save people's souls so they can be reborn in a new world, I think? This game is pretty confusing.)
Riona: Ooh, what are these shiny things on the ground?
(The things on the ground are leaflets.)
Leaflets: The evil saviour will die at the hands of the Shadow Hunter.
Riona: Well, that's not very nice.
RD: Can you even have an 'evil saviour'?
Riona: Why don't these people want their souls to be saved?
(pause)
Riona: Oh, my God, this is how Jehovah's Witnesses feel.
Lightning Returns is a surprisingly addictive Jehovah's Witness simulator, it turns out! The plot is absolute gibberish and most of the gameplay boils down to doing a million fetch quests for weird NPCs, but somehow it manages to be a lot of fun. Possibly because you're playing as Lightning, who has little patience for all the stupid things she's being asked to do.
My favourite Lightning lines so far: 'I'm not one to judge, but the love you have for your cat is more than a little frightening' and, when she asks whether someone's a firework seller and gets a condensed history of his business in return, 'Well, that was a lot more information than I needed to know.'
My other thoughts on this game so far are under the cut. They're not really spoilery, but they do indicate which characters from previous games in the trilogy show up in this one. I've completed the Luxerion, Yusnaan and Dead Dunes main quests.
I'm a little sad about the changes in personality that some of the characters have suffered. A hint of the old Snow did gleam through after I defeated him, though, so I'm hoping that some of the old Sazh will come back when I've completed his quest. I enjoyed this exchange a lot:
Snow: You only want me around so I can bring Serah back? My good looks and charm aren't reason enough?
Lightning: With that hair?
Thank you for saying it, Lightning; that hair had been bothering me ever since the opening cutscene.
I can't believe that Noel didn't say anything about Serah during our confrontation. You can't just ignore the friendship that the entire preceding game revolved around, Lightning Returns!
Fang hasn't changed at all, of course. I was delighted to see her. And slightly 'shipping her and Lightning, I'll admit. They would have the most incredible no-strings-attached sex.
Finally, the line in this game I find inappropriately hot, because of course there's a line I find inappropriately hot:
Hope: For a long time, I wanted to kill Snow. I dreamed of plunging a dagger into his heart, whispering my mother's name in his ear.
Whoops!
(What is going on with Hope? I'm so curious. Why is he fourteen again? Something's definitely not right.)
I'm entirely too amused by the dressing-up system in Lightning Returns. You can give Lightning a fake moustache! You can put a Chocobo figurine on top of her head! Why is this not an option in every game?
Adventures in playing Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII:
(I am playing as Lightning, also known as 'the saviour'. It is my task to... save people's souls so they can be reborn in a new world, I think? This game is pretty confusing.)
Riona: Ooh, what are these shiny things on the ground?
(The things on the ground are leaflets.)
Leaflets: The evil saviour will die at the hands of the Shadow Hunter.
Riona: Well, that's not very nice.
RD: Can you even have an 'evil saviour'?
Riona: Why don't these people want their souls to be saved?
(pause)
Riona: Oh, my God, this is how Jehovah's Witnesses feel.
Lightning Returns is a surprisingly addictive Jehovah's Witness simulator, it turns out! The plot is absolute gibberish and most of the gameplay boils down to doing a million fetch quests for weird NPCs, but somehow it manages to be a lot of fun. Possibly because you're playing as Lightning, who has little patience for all the stupid things she's being asked to do.
My favourite Lightning lines so far: 'I'm not one to judge, but the love you have for your cat is more than a little frightening' and, when she asks whether someone's a firework seller and gets a condensed history of his business in return, 'Well, that was a lot more information than I needed to know.'
My other thoughts on this game so far are under the cut. They're not really spoilery, but they do indicate which characters from previous games in the trilogy show up in this one. I've completed the Luxerion, Yusnaan and Dead Dunes main quests.
I'm a little sad about the changes in personality that some of the characters have suffered. A hint of the old Snow did gleam through after I defeated him, though, so I'm hoping that some of the old Sazh will come back when I've completed his quest. I enjoyed this exchange a lot:
Snow: You only want me around so I can bring Serah back? My good looks and charm aren't reason enough?
Lightning: With that hair?
Thank you for saying it, Lightning; that hair had been bothering me ever since the opening cutscene.
I can't believe that Noel didn't say anything about Serah during our confrontation. You can't just ignore the friendship that the entire preceding game revolved around, Lightning Returns!
Fang hasn't changed at all, of course. I was delighted to see her. And slightly 'shipping her and Lightning, I'll admit. They would have the most incredible no-strings-attached sex.
Finally, the line in this game I find inappropriately hot, because of course there's a line I find inappropriately hot:
Hope: For a long time, I wanted to kill Snow. I dreamed of plunging a dagger into his heart, whispering my mother's name in his ear.
Whoops!
(What is going on with Hope? I'm so curious. Why is he fourteen again? Something's definitely not right.)
I'm entirely too amused by the dressing-up system in Lightning Returns. You can give Lightning a fake moustache! You can put a Chocobo figurine on top of her head! Why is this not an option in every game?