Fire In Your Hole.
(The royal wedding is under discussion on Have I Got News for You. Victoria Coren is the only woman on the panel; Alexander Armstrong is the host.)
Armstrong: Let's have a look at the dress. Victoria, what did you think of the dress?
Coren: Just ask it again, but slightly more patronising?
Victoria Coren, I want to be you.
Whilst I'm quoting panel shows, here is one of my favourite exchanges between David Mitchell and Lee Mack, from the version of Would I Lie to You? broadcast live as part of 24 Hour Panel People for Comic Relief. Mitchell is defending the claim that his father invented the tog rating system for duvets.
Mitchell: I've always just slept under blankets. It's a rebellion thing.
Mack: And under the blanket, when you're lying there, are you in pyjamas or are you - as I'm picturing - naked with a pair of... just a little pair of briefs, possibly, or - let's go the whole nakedness; are you - what are you wearing, er - what did you wear last night? Tell me... basically, describe yourself naked to me and the nation, now, and tell me what we can picture.
Mitchell: Er, no.
In other news, I am staying with reipan at the moment! Yesterday she regaled me with a list of remarkable euphemisms for 'vagina' (possibly my favourite is 'penis flytrap'), and then we watched an even more remarkable film called Bitch Slap, which contains a scene in which a woman disguised as a nun is caught performing oral sex on another nun in a confessional, then rips off her habit as she walks away to reveal that she is wearing bondage gear underneath. It may be the oddest thing I've ever watched.
I tell you this as a warning, just in case any of you are considering visiting reipan. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS.
The convent scene isn't available on YouTube, which is bizarre because it seems exactly the sort of thing that YouTube was made for, so have an only slightly less remarkable (and much less offensive) scene from Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.
(We half-watched some first-series episodes of Supernatural a couple of nights ago. The Winchesters were so young! Sam is my age in the first series, and at my age I do not feel even slightly prepared to hunt ghosts.)
Armstrong: Let's have a look at the dress. Victoria, what did you think of the dress?
Coren: Just ask it again, but slightly more patronising?
Victoria Coren, I want to be you.
Whilst I'm quoting panel shows, here is one of my favourite exchanges between David Mitchell and Lee Mack, from the version of Would I Lie to You? broadcast live as part of 24 Hour Panel People for Comic Relief. Mitchell is defending the claim that his father invented the tog rating system for duvets.
Mitchell: I've always just slept under blankets. It's a rebellion thing.
Mack: And under the blanket, when you're lying there, are you in pyjamas or are you - as I'm picturing - naked with a pair of... just a little pair of briefs, possibly, or - let's go the whole nakedness; are you - what are you wearing, er - what did you wear last night? Tell me... basically, describe yourself naked to me and the nation, now, and tell me what we can picture.
Mitchell: Er, no.
In other news, I am staying with reipan at the moment! Yesterday she regaled me with a list of remarkable euphemisms for 'vagina' (possibly my favourite is 'penis flytrap'), and then we watched an even more remarkable film called Bitch Slap, which contains a scene in which a woman disguised as a nun is caught performing oral sex on another nun in a confessional, then rips off her habit as she walks away to reveal that she is wearing bondage gear underneath. It may be the oddest thing I've ever watched.
I tell you this as a warning, just in case any of you are considering visiting reipan. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS.
The convent scene isn't available on YouTube, which is bizarre because it seems exactly the sort of thing that YouTube was made for, so have an only slightly less remarkable (and much less offensive) scene from Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.
(We half-watched some first-series episodes of Supernatural a couple of nights ago. The Winchesters were so young! Sam is my age in the first series, and at my age I do not feel even slightly prepared to hunt ghosts.)