Punch That Missile Right In The Face.
Today, I wandered onto Twitter to search for reactions to the revelation that David Cameron and Nick Clegg had poisoned the leader of another country, and then I remembered that that was actually just a dream I had. Whoops.
A listing from today's edition of the Radio Times that I rather enjoyed:
8.00 White Van Man
New series. 1/6. A surprising look at the lives and work of Britain's independent tradesmen. In this edition, welder Jim Brown has an unusual commission: to build a cage for the bondage dungeon of ex-gangland enforcer Dave Courtney. Elsewhere, Pete and Steve of the Buff Builders Handyman Service pose for their 2011 calendar and fix up TV star Annabel Giles's garden.
On the last night of Big Brother, I remember seeing very sarcastic television listings in a newspaper somewhere: something like 'the last ever episode of Big Brother, oh no, what a shame' and 'a collection of moments from Big Brother that we can't forget, no matter how much we may want to'. I wish I'd written them down.
Ooh, how about we all make up implausible television listings in the comments? Charlie Brooker is, of course, the king of this (or was until the broadcast of Touch the Truck (twenty contestants hold onto a truck! the last one to let go wins the truck! eighty hours of fun! (I'm assuming the broadcast didn't show all eighty hours)) made him realise that television had reached a point of ridiculousness at which it was impossible to parody); some of his more worksafe inventions (from TVGoHome, a very unworksafe site):
9.50pm Metal Gear Solid News
Peter Sissons hides behind a pillar and attempts to whisper all the latest current affairs stories without alerting a nearby guard.
12.15am Touch Stapleton
Members of the public queue up to stroke John Stapleton's forearm in a non-sexual way.
1.00am Haunted Painting 24
Uninterrupted live broadcast of the notorious E-bay 'Haunted Painting', offering viewers at home the opportunity to sit up all night staring into the eyes of an illustrated boy, too scared to switch off in case he inexplicably scowls at them the second they reach for the remote.
3.00pm 101 Unforgivable Farmyard Pastimes
4: Driving a tractor into a pig's face.
(I think my favourite part of the last is the fact that it's an hour and a quarter long.)
So, yes! Tell me how particularly ridiculous programmes or just programmes you wish existed would be listed in the Radio Times or equivalent! (If you're only just seeing this entry after a night out watching fireworks, it's not too late! ...in retrospect, past nine on Bonfire Night was a really bad time to post this.)
A listing from today's edition of the Radio Times that I rather enjoyed:
8.00 White Van Man
New series. 1/6. A surprising look at the lives and work of Britain's independent tradesmen. In this edition, welder Jim Brown has an unusual commission: to build a cage for the bondage dungeon of ex-gangland enforcer Dave Courtney. Elsewhere, Pete and Steve of the Buff Builders Handyman Service pose for their 2011 calendar and fix up TV star Annabel Giles's garden.
On the last night of Big Brother, I remember seeing very sarcastic television listings in a newspaper somewhere: something like 'the last ever episode of Big Brother, oh no, what a shame' and 'a collection of moments from Big Brother that we can't forget, no matter how much we may want to'. I wish I'd written them down.
Ooh, how about we all make up implausible television listings in the comments? Charlie Brooker is, of course, the king of this (or was until the broadcast of Touch the Truck (twenty contestants hold onto a truck! the last one to let go wins the truck! eighty hours of fun! (I'm assuming the broadcast didn't show all eighty hours)) made him realise that television had reached a point of ridiculousness at which it was impossible to parody); some of his more worksafe inventions (from TVGoHome, a very unworksafe site):
9.50pm Metal Gear Solid News
Peter Sissons hides behind a pillar and attempts to whisper all the latest current affairs stories without alerting a nearby guard.
12.15am Touch Stapleton
Members of the public queue up to stroke John Stapleton's forearm in a non-sexual way.
1.00am Haunted Painting 24
Uninterrupted live broadcast of the notorious E-bay 'Haunted Painting', offering viewers at home the opportunity to sit up all night staring into the eyes of an illustrated boy, too scared to switch off in case he inexplicably scowls at them the second they reach for the remote.
3.00pm 101 Unforgivable Farmyard Pastimes
4: Driving a tractor into a pig's face.
(I think my favourite part of the last is the fact that it's an hour and a quarter long.)
So, yes! Tell me how particularly ridiculous programmes or just programmes you wish existed would be listed in the Radio Times or equivalent! (If you're only just seeing this entry after a night out watching fireworks, it's not too late! ...in retrospect, past nine on Bonfire Night was a really bad time to post this.)