Fanfiction: Alphabet Ficsnippets, A to M
Here's an attempt at a self-imposed writing challenge: alphabet ficsnippets! The first snippet contains one character whose name (first name, surname or nickname) begins with A and one whose name begins with B, the second a B and a C, the third a C and a D and so on until Z and A. (You're welcome to try it yourself, although this will obviously be easier for people who have eight million fandoms.)
Below the cut is the first half of my crack at this challenge: A/B to M/N. Fandoms represented are Pokémon, Supernatural, Blackadder, The Mentalist, Phineas and Ferb, Doctor Who, High School Musical, Fullmetal Alchemist, Final Fantasy V, Final Fantasy VIII, Merlin, Life on Mars, Katawa Shoujo, Sherlock Holmes (Conan Doyle version), Avatar: The Last Airbender, Top Gear, Jak and Daxter, Death Note, Harry Potter, Peep Show, Shakespeare's Othello and zarla and jazaaboo's Left 4 Dead OC survivorverse.
There is a possibility that I have too many fandoms.
Ash Ketchum (Pokémon)/Bela Talbot (Supernatural)
"I was just on my way to the Pokémon Centre," Joy said. "Shall I take your Pokémon for you?"
Only when she was almost out of sight did Brock recover from his stupor. "Ash! That's not Nurse Joy!"
"Huh?" Ash asked. "Then why were you so...?"
"She was gorgeous, but she wasn't Nurse Joy! Couldn't you tell?"
There was a brief silence.
"We gotta stop her!" Ash shouted, breaking into a run. "She's got Pikachu!"
But Bela was already long gone.
Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder)/Castiel (Supernatural)
"Please advise," Castiel said quietly, closing his eyes and feeling for the presence of his superiors. "Are you certain that this man is the Michael Sword?"
"Yes, I'm rather interested in knowing this as well," Blackadder remarked. "Surely they would be looking for a man of wit and charisma and remarkable good looks, rather than the stain on the bedsheet of humanity that is Baldrick? Someone like, oh, let's say..."
"He does not appear to be qualified for the position."
The answer came in a whisper on the air, and Castiel listened carefully before opening his eyes.
"The angels have spoken," Castiel said. "Baldrick is the saviour of the human race."
"Right," Blackadder said. "Thank you so much for coming by; I'd love to stay and chat, but unfortunately I have an urgent appointment to drown myself in a bucket of pigswill."
Kimball Cho (The Mentalist)/Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)
"You live in a building with 'Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.' printed on the side. Your neighbours report hearing you shout 'I am an evil genius' approximately once a week."
"Oh, and you think just because I'm evil I'd murder someone?"
"It's one of those things that increases the odds."
"Well, you're wrong," Doofenshmirtz said, folding his arms.
"Tell me where you were on the night of the eighth."
There was a pause.
"Erm," Doofenshmirtz said. "I was, yes, well, I was..."
"The longer you take, the more believable a story you'll need to come up with."
"Okay, okay!" Doofenshmirtz snapped. "I was building a device that would overinflate all helium balloons in the Tri-State Area, ruining the parade for my do-gooder brother by causing all the parade floats to literally float up into the air. I called it the Inflatinator. But my nemesis broke into my lair and foiled me. Is that all right? Are you satisfied? I can bring my nemesis in here and get him to confirm everything. He's a platypus, so he can't really say much, but you can probably work something out. Okay?"
There was a pause.
"Jane?" Cho asked, glancing toward the mirror. "I think this one's for you."
The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Sharpay Evans (High School Musical)
"No," he explained, not quite as patiently as he'd have liked. "We can't go back in time to get you the part."
"You've got a time machine."
The Doctor pressed a hand over his eyes. "Yes, and it can go back in time, but you've already auditioned. It'll just look like you're trying to audition again."
"So we audition again! I'm sure we can get Miss Darbus to give us another chance."
"You've already done that. Five times."
"See? She's totally persuadable."
The Doctor braced his hands on the console and looked pleadingly up at her. "Fifth planet of Vega. Tallest mountains in the universe. Never before visited by humans. You're sure you don't want to go?"
"Not until I get my rightful part in that musical."
"I knew I should've taken your brother," the Doctor muttered.
Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Ferb Fletcher (Phineas and Ferb)
"Aren't you a little young to be an automail engineer?" Ed asked.
"Yes," the quiet kid's brother said. "Yes, he is. But he's good at it!"
The quiet kid tested the joints in Ed's arm, then gave him a thumbs up.
"I mean, how many automail engineers could make you an arm that doubles up as a karaoke machine?"
"What?" Ed asked.
Faris Scherwiz (Final Fantasy V)/Guinevere (Merlin)
"The fortune teller said I would be queen," she said, quietly.
There was a brief silence.
"Is that what you want?" Faris asked.
"I don't think that's really relevant, is it? I'm a servant. I'll never be queen. What does whether I want it matter?"
"You'd be surprised, lass," Faris said, resting his elbows on his knees. "If you have dreams, don't let your birth keep you. Make it to that throne and I'll tell you a secret."
Gene Hunt (Life on Mars)/Hanako Ikezawa (Katawa Shoujo)
"She ran off," Gene grumbled. "No manners, these girls."
"I can't say I'm surprised," Lilly said, a hint of disapproval in her voice. "You weren't terribly sensitive."
"What did you want me to do, cry on her?"
Lilly sighed. "In any case, you may wish to address her as 'Hanako' from now on, rather than 'bird with the scars'."
Sherlock Holmes/Iago (Othello)
"Well, yes," Holmes said, remaining a wary distance from the extremely agitated Othello, "it is possible that your wife was consorting with Cassio, but it is far from the sole explanation. Have you considered the possibility that she lent him her handkerchief for practical reasons, rather than as a token of affection? Have you considered the possibility that the fair Desdemona simply misplaced her handkerchief, and Cassio intended to return it? Or even that your friend Iago orchestrated the entire situation, which is the explanation I favour, as the man has been detailing his plans in full to the empty air, unaware that the good Watson was within earshot?"
Othello was thus transformed into a far less tragic story, although perhaps not quite so good a play.
Iroh (Avatar: The Last Airbender)/LadyJockey (jazaaboo's Left 4 Dead OC, apologies if I've messed up her speech patterns)
"They ain't dead," she said, shivering. "I'm lookin' for them. Why would I be lookin' for them if they were dead?" Her laugh echoed in the empty church. "Don't make any sense."
"How many were with you?" Iroh asked, resting a hand on the back of the pew.
"Three," she said. "Well, I've got more friends, but these three were helpin' me find them. They'll be fine, though. They've got Charger. Charger's real good with guns. What're you like with guns?"
She needed to hear the truth, but in this moment, with the infected pressing in from all sides and no sign of Zuko, Iroh wasn't sure he could bring himself to tell her.
"As a Firebender," he said, instead, "I have little need for them."
"Oh, hey, wow," the girl said, looking up at him. "That means you'll be great at keepin' all the sick people back, right?"
"Would you like to travel with me? Perhaps we can find your friends."
She grinned broadly and hopped out of the pew. "Thanks, mister."
Her long braided hair made her look very young, and Iroh would protect her because he had nothing else left to protect.
Jeremy Clarkson (Top Gear)/Keira Hagai (Jak II)
"All you had to do," Keira said, "was race. I'm supposed to be your engineer."
"All you do is fix things! What sort of engineering's that?"
Keira stared.
"Rubbish," Jeremy said, with conviction. "It is rubbish engineering. You should be making improvements."
"No, I shouldn't. Because you're not allowed to modify the vehicles. Rigging your Zoomer to blow up walls? Kind of against the rules."
"I won."
"You were disqualified."
"I was first across the line, therefore I won."
"We didn't get the prize money. Even if we had, it'll take ten times that amount to repair the track."
"I still won."
There was a pause.
"I will pay you not to come back next week," Keira said.
Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender)/Light Yagami (Death Note)
"I swore I would never Bloodbend again," she muttered.
"You did the right thing, Katara," Aang said anxiously, resting a hand on her shoulder, but she couldn't believe it; she couldn't push the image of the murderer's face as she forced him to write his own name out of her mind.
Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)/Mark Corrigan (Peep Show)
"Hello."
Mark turned around, bracing himself for a conversation that would be tedious or humiliating or both, as he had learnt to do before every conversation, and found himself looking at Luna Lovegood. Luna Lovegood. The only girl who had tolerated his presence at Hogwarts; the girl who waited for him outside the Slytherin common room and genuinely seemed not to notice his inept stumbling through the norms of social interaction that everyone else seemed to innately know, the fuckers.
"Luna!" he said, possibly a little too enthusiastically. "What are you - hello!"
"I didn't know you worked at the Ministry of Magic," Luna said, gazing around with mild interest.
She was probably the One. All this time looking for the One, and it had always been Luna. How could he not have realised?
"I hope you've been raising awareness of Nargles," she said, regarding him seriously.
Oh. That's right. Luna was an idiot.
The Master (Doctor Who)/Nida (Final Fantasy VIII)
"Do your best, even if you don't stand out?" a voice mimicked.
Nida started and turned around. There was a man leaning against the wall of the corridor leading to the dorms: too old to be a cadet, and Nida didn't recognise him as an instructor or a SeeD. A Garden Faculty member, maybe, out of uniform? "How did you hear that?"
"You hated that, didn't you?" the man asked, pushing away from the wall and walking towards him. Nida instinctively felt for the handle of his weapon. "I mean, you've just become a SeeD. Only the best pass, and you have to stand there and listen to that oaf telling you 'sorry you don't stand out'?"
No real threat would be this theatrical, surely. "I don't see how that's any of your business."
"There's about to be a political shift in Galbadia," the man said, and that was when Nida recognised him: Harold Saxon. President Deling's opponent, and probably, given Galbadian popular opinion, his successor. "I thought you might be interested in a position where you'd be appreciated."
"All right," Nida said after a moment's consideration, letting his hand fall from his spear. "Tell me more."
It's only been a couple of months since I last wrote something, but I still feel oddly rusty. I hope you enjoy these, anyway!
Below the cut is the first half of my crack at this challenge: A/B to M/N. Fandoms represented are Pokémon, Supernatural, Blackadder, The Mentalist, Phineas and Ferb, Doctor Who, High School Musical, Fullmetal Alchemist, Final Fantasy V, Final Fantasy VIII, Merlin, Life on Mars, Katawa Shoujo, Sherlock Holmes (Conan Doyle version), Avatar: The Last Airbender, Top Gear, Jak and Daxter, Death Note, Harry Potter, Peep Show, Shakespeare's Othello and zarla and jazaaboo's Left 4 Dead OC survivorverse.
There is a possibility that I have too many fandoms.
Ash Ketchum (Pokémon)/Bela Talbot (Supernatural)
"I was just on my way to the Pokémon Centre," Joy said. "Shall I take your Pokémon for you?"
Only when she was almost out of sight did Brock recover from his stupor. "Ash! That's not Nurse Joy!"
"Huh?" Ash asked. "Then why were you so...?"
"She was gorgeous, but she wasn't Nurse Joy! Couldn't you tell?"
There was a brief silence.
"We gotta stop her!" Ash shouted, breaking into a run. "She's got Pikachu!"
But Bela was already long gone.
Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder)/Castiel (Supernatural)
"Please advise," Castiel said quietly, closing his eyes and feeling for the presence of his superiors. "Are you certain that this man is the Michael Sword?"
"Yes, I'm rather interested in knowing this as well," Blackadder remarked. "Surely they would be looking for a man of wit and charisma and remarkable good looks, rather than the stain on the bedsheet of humanity that is Baldrick? Someone like, oh, let's say..."
"He does not appear to be qualified for the position."
The answer came in a whisper on the air, and Castiel listened carefully before opening his eyes.
"The angels have spoken," Castiel said. "Baldrick is the saviour of the human race."
"Right," Blackadder said. "Thank you so much for coming by; I'd love to stay and chat, but unfortunately I have an urgent appointment to drown myself in a bucket of pigswill."
Kimball Cho (The Mentalist)/Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)
"You live in a building with 'Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.' printed on the side. Your neighbours report hearing you shout 'I am an evil genius' approximately once a week."
"Oh, and you think just because I'm evil I'd murder someone?"
"It's one of those things that increases the odds."
"Well, you're wrong," Doofenshmirtz said, folding his arms.
"Tell me where you were on the night of the eighth."
There was a pause.
"Erm," Doofenshmirtz said. "I was, yes, well, I was..."
"The longer you take, the more believable a story you'll need to come up with."
"Okay, okay!" Doofenshmirtz snapped. "I was building a device that would overinflate all helium balloons in the Tri-State Area, ruining the parade for my do-gooder brother by causing all the parade floats to literally float up into the air. I called it the Inflatinator. But my nemesis broke into my lair and foiled me. Is that all right? Are you satisfied? I can bring my nemesis in here and get him to confirm everything. He's a platypus, so he can't really say much, but you can probably work something out. Okay?"
There was a pause.
"Jane?" Cho asked, glancing toward the mirror. "I think this one's for you."
The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Sharpay Evans (High School Musical)
"No," he explained, not quite as patiently as he'd have liked. "We can't go back in time to get you the part."
"You've got a time machine."
The Doctor pressed a hand over his eyes. "Yes, and it can go back in time, but you've already auditioned. It'll just look like you're trying to audition again."
"So we audition again! I'm sure we can get Miss Darbus to give us another chance."
"You've already done that. Five times."
"See? She's totally persuadable."
The Doctor braced his hands on the console and looked pleadingly up at her. "Fifth planet of Vega. Tallest mountains in the universe. Never before visited by humans. You're sure you don't want to go?"
"Not until I get my rightful part in that musical."
"I knew I should've taken your brother," the Doctor muttered.
Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Ferb Fletcher (Phineas and Ferb)
"Aren't you a little young to be an automail engineer?" Ed asked.
"Yes," the quiet kid's brother said. "Yes, he is. But he's good at it!"
The quiet kid tested the joints in Ed's arm, then gave him a thumbs up.
"I mean, how many automail engineers could make you an arm that doubles up as a karaoke machine?"
"What?" Ed asked.
Faris Scherwiz (Final Fantasy V)/Guinevere (Merlin)
"The fortune teller said I would be queen," she said, quietly.
There was a brief silence.
"Is that what you want?" Faris asked.
"I don't think that's really relevant, is it? I'm a servant. I'll never be queen. What does whether I want it matter?"
"You'd be surprised, lass," Faris said, resting his elbows on his knees. "If you have dreams, don't let your birth keep you. Make it to that throne and I'll tell you a secret."
Gene Hunt (Life on Mars)/Hanako Ikezawa (Katawa Shoujo)
"She ran off," Gene grumbled. "No manners, these girls."
"I can't say I'm surprised," Lilly said, a hint of disapproval in her voice. "You weren't terribly sensitive."
"What did you want me to do, cry on her?"
Lilly sighed. "In any case, you may wish to address her as 'Hanako' from now on, rather than 'bird with the scars'."
Sherlock Holmes/Iago (Othello)
"Well, yes," Holmes said, remaining a wary distance from the extremely agitated Othello, "it is possible that your wife was consorting with Cassio, but it is far from the sole explanation. Have you considered the possibility that she lent him her handkerchief for practical reasons, rather than as a token of affection? Have you considered the possibility that the fair Desdemona simply misplaced her handkerchief, and Cassio intended to return it? Or even that your friend Iago orchestrated the entire situation, which is the explanation I favour, as the man has been detailing his plans in full to the empty air, unaware that the good Watson was within earshot?"
Othello was thus transformed into a far less tragic story, although perhaps not quite so good a play.
Iroh (Avatar: The Last Airbender)/LadyJockey (jazaaboo's Left 4 Dead OC, apologies if I've messed up her speech patterns)
"They ain't dead," she said, shivering. "I'm lookin' for them. Why would I be lookin' for them if they were dead?" Her laugh echoed in the empty church. "Don't make any sense."
"How many were with you?" Iroh asked, resting a hand on the back of the pew.
"Three," she said. "Well, I've got more friends, but these three were helpin' me find them. They'll be fine, though. They've got Charger. Charger's real good with guns. What're you like with guns?"
She needed to hear the truth, but in this moment, with the infected pressing in from all sides and no sign of Zuko, Iroh wasn't sure he could bring himself to tell her.
"As a Firebender," he said, instead, "I have little need for them."
"Oh, hey, wow," the girl said, looking up at him. "That means you'll be great at keepin' all the sick people back, right?"
"Would you like to travel with me? Perhaps we can find your friends."
She grinned broadly and hopped out of the pew. "Thanks, mister."
Her long braided hair made her look very young, and Iroh would protect her because he had nothing else left to protect.
Jeremy Clarkson (Top Gear)/Keira Hagai (Jak II)
"All you had to do," Keira said, "was race. I'm supposed to be your engineer."
"All you do is fix things! What sort of engineering's that?"
Keira stared.
"Rubbish," Jeremy said, with conviction. "It is rubbish engineering. You should be making improvements."
"No, I shouldn't. Because you're not allowed to modify the vehicles. Rigging your Zoomer to blow up walls? Kind of against the rules."
"I won."
"You were disqualified."
"I was first across the line, therefore I won."
"We didn't get the prize money. Even if we had, it'll take ten times that amount to repair the track."
"I still won."
There was a pause.
"I will pay you not to come back next week," Keira said.
Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender)/Light Yagami (Death Note)
"I swore I would never Bloodbend again," she muttered.
"You did the right thing, Katara," Aang said anxiously, resting a hand on her shoulder, but she couldn't believe it; she couldn't push the image of the murderer's face as she forced him to write his own name out of her mind.
Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)/Mark Corrigan (Peep Show)
"Hello."
Mark turned around, bracing himself for a conversation that would be tedious or humiliating or both, as he had learnt to do before every conversation, and found himself looking at Luna Lovegood. Luna Lovegood. The only girl who had tolerated his presence at Hogwarts; the girl who waited for him outside the Slytherin common room and genuinely seemed not to notice his inept stumbling through the norms of social interaction that everyone else seemed to innately know, the fuckers.
"Luna!" he said, possibly a little too enthusiastically. "What are you - hello!"
"I didn't know you worked at the Ministry of Magic," Luna said, gazing around with mild interest.
She was probably the One. All this time looking for the One, and it had always been Luna. How could he not have realised?
"I hope you've been raising awareness of Nargles," she said, regarding him seriously.
Oh. That's right. Luna was an idiot.
The Master (Doctor Who)/Nida (Final Fantasy VIII)
"Do your best, even if you don't stand out?" a voice mimicked.
Nida started and turned around. There was a man leaning against the wall of the corridor leading to the dorms: too old to be a cadet, and Nida didn't recognise him as an instructor or a SeeD. A Garden Faculty member, maybe, out of uniform? "How did you hear that?"
"You hated that, didn't you?" the man asked, pushing away from the wall and walking towards him. Nida instinctively felt for the handle of his weapon. "I mean, you've just become a SeeD. Only the best pass, and you have to stand there and listen to that oaf telling you 'sorry you don't stand out'?"
No real threat would be this theatrical, surely. "I don't see how that's any of your business."
"There's about to be a political shift in Galbadia," the man said, and that was when Nida recognised him: Harold Saxon. President Deling's opponent, and probably, given Galbadian popular opinion, his successor. "I thought you might be interested in a position where you'd be appreciated."
"All right," Nida said after a moment's consideration, letting his hand fall from his spear. "Tell me more."
It's only been a couple of months since I last wrote something, but I still feel oddly rusty. I hope you enjoy these, anyway!