And Then They All Had Apocalyptic Sex.
The BBC Two reception of the television in our communal room at the moment is... unreliable, to say the least. I was lucky enough to watch last week's episode of Torchwood with no interference at all, so this week it decided to make up for that by losing all sound and becoming unwatchably staticky half-way through the 'Torchwood. Outside the government, beyond the police. We're competent, honest' opening spiel, and no amount of retuning will bring my most beloved of channels back to me.
You all know what that means.
The Brilliant Third Episode Of The Second Series Of Torchwood In Riona's Mind, Clearly A Vast Improvement On Whatever You Poor Bastards With Television Reception Are Actually Getting To Watch (Although I Suppose I'll Have To Find Something Other Than Mansex With Which To Improve On The Canon, Because This Is, After All, Torchwood):
(The scene opens on a rather nice restaurant. Jack and Ianto are sitting at a table. Jack is fiddling with a bizarre contraption that may, if you squint, resemble a - a what? A Nintendo DS? No - no, hang on, it's a mobile phone. Probably.)
Ianto: You know, I do appreciate your taking me out, but I think I'd probably appreciate it even more if you weren't spending half the date flirting with Toshiko by text message.
Jack: I'm not flirting. Well, not much. It's to do with work.
Ianto: Ah. Well, that makes this seem much more romantic.
(The probably-a-mobile-phone vibrates. It does this much more vigorously than necessary. Jack checks his new message.)
Jack: Right. That's not good.
(Ianto tries very hard not to sigh, then decides that he may as well.)
(In the Torchwood headquarters:)
Owen: So, what is it?
Tosh: I don't know. We don't have records of anything like it.
Owen: Well, that's great, isn't it? That thing is growing by the minute, and we don't know how to stop it.
Tosh: It probably won't be able to get to us. We're underground, and it's too big to fit through any of the entrances.
Owen: If it can rip up buildings, it can rip up the street. Any way of getting our Madame Cooper back from it?
Tosh: I don't know. I'm trying to see whether I can find anything of its description on the Internet, but... ah.
Owen: Ah?
Tosh: Have you ever heard of a game called We ♥ Katamari?
(SOMEWHERE ELSE ENTIRELY:)
Oz Clarke and James May: (shag)
You all know what that means.
The Brilliant Third Episode Of The Second Series Of Torchwood In Riona's Mind, Clearly A Vast Improvement On Whatever You Poor Bastards With Television Reception Are Actually Getting To Watch (Although I Suppose I'll Have To Find Something Other Than Mansex With Which To Improve On The Canon, Because This Is, After All, Torchwood):
(The scene opens on a rather nice restaurant. Jack and Ianto are sitting at a table. Jack is fiddling with a bizarre contraption that may, if you squint, resemble a - a what? A Nintendo DS? No - no, hang on, it's a mobile phone. Probably.)
Ianto: You know, I do appreciate your taking me out, but I think I'd probably appreciate it even more if you weren't spending half the date flirting with Toshiko by text message.
Jack: I'm not flirting. Well, not much. It's to do with work.
Ianto: Ah. Well, that makes this seem much more romantic.
(The probably-a-mobile-phone vibrates. It does this much more vigorously than necessary. Jack checks his new message.)
Jack: Right. That's not good.
(Ianto tries very hard not to sigh, then decides that he may as well.)
(In the Torchwood headquarters:)
Owen: So, what is it?
Tosh: I don't know. We don't have records of anything like it.
Owen: Well, that's great, isn't it? That thing is growing by the minute, and we don't know how to stop it.
Tosh: It probably won't be able to get to us. We're underground, and it's too big to fit through any of the entrances.
Owen: If it can rip up buildings, it can rip up the street. Any way of getting our Madame Cooper back from it?
Tosh: I don't know. I'm trying to see whether I can find anything of its description on the Internet, but... ah.
Owen: Ah?
Tosh: Have you ever heard of a game called We ♥ Katamari?
(SOMEWHERE ELSE ENTIRELY:)
Oz Clarke and James May: (shag)