::..Gone..::Vinseop Fanfic::..Chapter 2..::
The artificial beep floods the room as I hold the cool hand within my own. My eyes open yet unseeing. How long had I been sitting here? I couldn’t recall. All I remember was running. Running from the house. Down the street. Past the people who swore and shoved me as I ran. Through the sliding doors and up the stairs until I reached the door, the door that held the man I loved. The man I was unable to tell my feelings. And now here I was, holding his hand like a lifeline, the artificial beep of the heart monitor the only source of comfort that the boy before me was actually still with me. But how long would that last? They said he was in a coma. That they weren’t sure if he would ever wake up. But I need him to; I need to tell him, to fix the heart that I never meant to break. I need him.
The tears were running down my face, they never did truly stop did they? I think that they are the only things that are making Eli believe I am alive right now. He is standing in the corner pale and looking frightened. Of what I don’t know. Is it because he is he just as scared as I am that we will loose Kiseop forever? Or perhaps he thinks I will follow soon. All I can say to that is, if I loose Kiseop, I don’t think I will move on. I will become like a stone statue, there to be ogled and stared at, but never present. Something void of emotion so strong looking yet so fragile.
My lips trembled as I grip his hand tighter in my own, almost as though I am trying to shove my life force across to the boy on the bed, his red locks sitting covering his closed eyes. And before I know what is going on, I bent over his bed, my screams and tears being swallowed by his abdomen. The pain I harbor is being poured out of me and into the unresponsive body.
“Why? why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? Don’t you get it? I love you, you idiot” I scream into the chest of the one I love, I don’t know I guess that I am just praying it will get through him to somehow. Get through to him and wake him up from his slumber. I don’t think it is working though, for all I can hear apart from my own screaming is the even beep in the room. The blanket under my face is damp with my tears and I am sure if he were awake I would be scolded for making the blanket damp. All of my thoughts are about him, and if he isn’t here for them I don’t I can go on.
My chest hurts, I’m not sure if that is because of the crying, or the pain from my heart, but either way the pain is unbearable and I don’t want to feel it. This anguish, why did this have to happen? Why do I have to loose the one I love? How is this fair? Am I being punished? Punished by God for this sinful emotion. But I no longer care, as long as I can have the boy back, I don’t care if am to be sent to the deepest pits of hell, there is no way that love can be a sin. The love I hold for this boy is true and pure, it can’t be wrong.
“Why, why Kiseop, why did you have to do this? I-I don’t understand. P-please just come back to me. And I promise to never let you get hurt again. Please “ my tears and crying are pitiful, but I don’t care, I don’t care who sees me like this, because I don’t care about anything if I don’t have Kiseop to care for.
(Eli’s POV)
I watched him weep, I watched him break, and I watched the once strong and bright Kevin crumble. He was now shrouded in his sadness and sorrow. There is no one who can save him other than that of Kiseop, of that I am certain. If we loose Kiseop I am sure that it won’t be to long after that we will loose Kevin to. He was only holding on by a thread of hope, the hope that Kiseop would survive. Would pull through this and he could make everything alright. But as I stared at the boy on the bed, the bandages around his head coated in his own blood, the blankets stained from where he had shattered his body, I wasn’t sure he would make it through. This is why I had slipped out of the room; I couldn’t tale the sight anymore.
So here I sit outside the hospital, my head in my hands, the rain falling down onto my shoulders, I’m sure that I look like someone just died, and in a way someone did. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to save Kiseop or Kevin, I wish I had the answer I really do. But I don’t. I’m just a boy, what can I possibly do to remedy this situation? There is nothing.
I finally let my tears fall for the pain they are feeling, I refuse to cry in front of Kevin, he needs all the strength he can get right now. So now I will let out everything that I had been holding in, all of the agony at the though of loosing someone like a brother to me, and watching the other one break after him. I can imagine how Kevin feels right now; if I lost A.J I don’t know what I would do. No I think I do. I would join him. And I am sure that is exactly what Kevin is thinking right now. He wants to join Kiseop wherever that boy is right now. I can’t stand the thought of loosing them both, loosing my brothers to such a cruel fate.
As the rain continues to pelt down onto my shoulders slowly making my shirt dampen I feel hands grip my forearms pulling me into a strong chest. One I would recognize anywhere. I hold A.J. tightly, my tears leaking into his shirt, I greedily accept the comfort he offers. Because of his presence I am sure that the rest of U-KISS now know about what happened. Then again it would be hard not to. I am sure that this incident is being broadcasted all over the news.
“What do we do A.J? Kevin. He. He’s breaking.” My voice cracks as the sobs choke in my throat my tears mixing with the rain coating me an A.J.
“ There is nothing that we can do, other than be there for him right now. And I know that isn’t the answer you were looking for, but it is truly all we can do. “ I cling tighter to him feeling his muscles tense around me as he starts to pull me back inside and away from the harsh weather, this is when I raise my gaze and see the rest of the guys sitting in the waiting room, all sharing anguished expressions and flinching every single time one of Kevin’s screams echoes down the hallway, we are all in the same boat. All at a loss of what to do. How do you bring back the near dead?
(Kevin’s POV)
I hold his body tightly as my screams hurt my throat, my voice-growing Corse. This was never supposed to happen, he was never supposed to get hurt like this, we were supposed to be together, and love each other. We were supposed to be happy. Not broken and on the edge of life and death. This war he was fighting I am sure was the hardest he has ever fought. Was he even fighting? He wanted to die didn’t he? The heartache he must of felt, the thought alone makes me break more inside, knowing that I am the one that caused this, knowing that I am the one who pushed him to the edge. This is my fault. All my fault.
When you love someone you are supposed to take care of them and protect them, not let them hurt and break. To shatter past the point of saving. You are never supposed to lead them to their death. What kind of love did I show? None. And that is why I am in this situation, letting him slowly slip away. This was my fault and I deserved to trade places with him, he deserved a long and happy life with someone who would actually take care of him. Not let him die.
My tears sink deeper into the blankets my world around me deaf and blind, I am not aware of anything happening. The only thing I feel is the shift under me. Wait shift? People in comas weren’t supposed to move. Raising my head I meet those deep brown eyes I had been praying to see again. Only this time instead of pain they hold emptiness and confusion.
“W-who are you?”
And with those three words. My world crumbles.