i think abraham lincoln said that.

[rinse_andrepeat]

things like: eating breakfast at the wrong time of day, headphones that buzz a little bit, inappropriate tattoos, irregular german verbs.

there is a certain part of me that appreciates the value of a full moon and a juicy metaphor, and a certain part of me that
reads my life
like a magazine article.

i alternate between the vehement belief that i could never be a journalist and the equally vehement belief that

i could never be a poet.

my "heart of hearts" has trouble committing.
(this doesn't mean i'm not in love with the idea of it just as much as the next gal)
(this doesn't mean i don't let the weather weasel into my psyche just as much as every emily dickinson locked in a bedroom somewhere in new england)
(this doesn't mean i don't wish i were joan didion)

i'd like to be the raymond carver of modern dance,
the jose limon of literature.

(similarly,

i'd like to be self-sufficient.
i'd like to promise you that i won't wait for you,
that i won't need to wait for you.
i'd like to be the bearer of
god-given talents
and the perpetual wearer of
spotlights.

but also.

i'd like to say,
off the record,
that i do love this world.
i do love the places i live,
and the places i don't.
i do love the way the sun shines
and the way sound travels
and the way things
reflect
echo
bloom
into and off of one another.
i do love every syllable,
without exception.

but also.

i'd like to say,
--and you can feel free to record this one--
that i don't know how i came to exist
in this particular
here,
and that i don't take credit for its
ugliness and prejudice and
confusing grammar,
but
i accept responsibility
for the ripples i create
and for the language i move.)