Don't do it, take it from me...
I wonder why, for the second time, I'm in a distance relationship...
Yes, I know Markham isn't far and all that, but still, 4 weeks without seeing him is killing me... Not making this easier. I knew it would get harder. But today, all I want is just to see him. Talk to him, BE with him... gaaaahhhh!
It's like a sick test of my life - to have boyfriends that aren't near me. Looking at it optimistically though, things have been working out really well. I just can't help thinking that someday, I'll see him every day as opposed to talk to him on the phone (almost) every day. I'd forgotten what this feels like.
But this time, it's so much better. So much more mature, not any less real, but... better. It's less insane infatuation and blindness... much more realistic, mature, real. Christoph was blind. Kevin is aware. Perhaps, less stupid, actually.
Not helping this is seeing my aunt and uncle, 25 years married and still very much in love. Hearing of people getting engaged, married, to people the met when they were my age... These thoughts seem so irrational to be going through my head at this point - it really hasn't been long, not long enough to be considered anything substantial to anyone other than the two of us - but maybe it's just my internal clock? I think I'm bored with life right now, and looking for other things to change it. Which isn't necessarily a good thing. Nor am I anywhere near legitimately thinking of this.
I just miss him, so very much, and it hurts sometimes. Like tonight. Like now.
They do say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. But I've fallen apart over distance before. Not this time. Won't let it happen again.
Yes, I know Markham isn't far and all that, but still, 4 weeks without seeing him is killing me... Not making this easier. I knew it would get harder. But today, all I want is just to see him. Talk to him, BE with him... gaaaahhhh!
It's like a sick test of my life - to have boyfriends that aren't near me. Looking at it optimistically though, things have been working out really well. I just can't help thinking that someday, I'll see him every day as opposed to talk to him on the phone (almost) every day. I'd forgotten what this feels like.
But this time, it's so much better. So much more mature, not any less real, but... better. It's less insane infatuation and blindness... much more realistic, mature, real. Christoph was blind. Kevin is aware. Perhaps, less stupid, actually.
Not helping this is seeing my aunt and uncle, 25 years married and still very much in love. Hearing of people getting engaged, married, to people the met when they were my age... These thoughts seem so irrational to be going through my head at this point - it really hasn't been long, not long enough to be considered anything substantial to anyone other than the two of us - but maybe it's just my internal clock? I think I'm bored with life right now, and looking for other things to change it. Which isn't necessarily a good thing. Nor am I anywhere near legitimately thinking of this.
I just miss him, so very much, and it hurts sometimes. Like tonight. Like now.
They do say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. But I've fallen apart over distance before. Not this time. Won't let it happen again.