It's been a while..
So here I am. It's 5 am and I haven't slept yet. I'm not tired. Too many things going through my mind and I cant make the noise stop. I'm honestly not upset about my marriage failing. It just hurts to see the changes in my daughter. She has been acting like she's afraid of being left. I'm trying so hard to make things better and easier for her but it's so hard to do alone. I have my sister and she's gone through something similar, but still. I dont even know what I'm saying anymore. I'm hurting, I'm tired and I'm confused.
On a lighter note I met someone. He's great, but I only get to see him once a week. And that my friends is lame. But it's the only day I can get my sister to watch her. Thats ok of course. I'm grateful to her for everything she's done for me and Rinoa. But he's a good guy. A chef. Oh goddess, I'm never going to lose weight hahaha.
Saturday Jaime and I are taking the kids to the movie, maybe lunch. Should be fun and a good change to get everyone out of the apartment.
I cannot wait until we move in July. We need the space for many different reasons. The biggest being we are all cramped in here. Change can be good, and I believe this will be for the better.
I still cant keep myself from thinking terrible thoughts though. I used to believe that they could never happen, but after such a lie it brought to light, it's hard to keep up the optimism.
I'm going to end this now. I would try to lay down put I would just back up again. My sleep is all kinds of off and I dont know how to get it back. *le sigh*
On a lighter note I met someone. He's great, but I only get to see him once a week. And that my friends is lame. But it's the only day I can get my sister to watch her. Thats ok of course. I'm grateful to her for everything she's done for me and Rinoa. But he's a good guy. A chef. Oh goddess, I'm never going to lose weight hahaha.
Saturday Jaime and I are taking the kids to the movie, maybe lunch. Should be fun and a good change to get everyone out of the apartment.
I cannot wait until we move in July. We need the space for many different reasons. The biggest being we are all cramped in here. Change can be good, and I believe this will be for the better.
I still cant keep myself from thinking terrible thoughts though. I used to believe that they could never happen, but after such a lie it brought to light, it's hard to keep up the optimism.
I'm going to end this now. I would try to lay down put I would just back up again. My sleep is all kinds of off and I dont know how to get it back. *le sigh*