(no subject)
i am kinda sick of always being the best friend and always being called the nice one. for once in my fine and fucking not dandy life i would like someone to see that i have feelings and that i can be more then a friend to someone sometime if someone wanted to actually see past the whole " i will always be there for you, sure we can be just friends if that is what you want" i dont understand why i cant just say what i want. i tried but then i got scared and made up a stupid ass lie saying that i was fine with being just friends. i am always the great friend that is "sooo awesome" and such a good listener, that you feel so comfertable with but always nothing more. why its not like im a really ugly person i admitt that i am not the prittiest person but i dont consider myself ugly, i like to have fun and most days im a good person so why does it always end on a lets just be friends note. well fuck lets just be friends, im sorry but im tired of being soo nice and the the great friend, screw that i hate that i will never have someone that can actually say they want to be more then just friends. you say that you dont want to be with me because you dont want to hurt my feelings but by saying that and not being with me hurt my feelings. it was like you were making up excuses. well thanks alot, at least you tried. and what was with the text waying " mayah your awesome. Your the best. I feel like...i dont know u r just you. if that makes sense" no that doesnt mean sense im sorry, im just me? ok thanks so now that we got that cleared up, what the fuck!!!!???? no but that wasnt even the best part, that came when he left me three back to back messages on myspace first saying that he did want to go out with me, then saying that he was confused and scared, and then finally saying he wanted to just be friends and that he hoped i would understand. well of course i understand because i am such a great friend. what are nice fulks like us supposed to do but serve the happy.