(no subject)
I think I need to keep keeping a livejournal because otherwise there is no record of my existence. If my house burned down, even the 6th grade diaries would be gone.
THe girls (Pippa, Cara, Keilly, Anna, Katie O., Bea) came over tonight for a little while. It feels strange to not be there. Chewonki was such a big part of my life. I must say I do regret not being there. It would be fun (but sad and a little strange) to be there without Tom or Alex.
The summer this far has been... ehh. I'm constantly exhausted from working and doing shit. I see pat at work but I haven't seen a lot of my friends in a while.
THough, it has been quite the week for renewing old friendships... (Do I always do that in summer?)
-I met Jon Steitzer for lunch. He seemed well (better than this fall) and he apologized which... really meant a lot. I actually really liked seeing him. Maybe I'll hear from him again.
-I went down to York to Alex Redfield's and Rob from cty was there. HOW INSANE? We went to a sox game. My first, so hot.
-I've been emailing with WIlliams from la republica dominicana. It's interesting. He is so the same... it's all "You don't really want to see me, you never really liked me." HOnestly, I don't know how to interact... I mean, for god's sake... he must be... 25 now? such a different age from NINETEEN. And I regret what happened with him, I do. ANyways, he wants to go out for lunch or coffee sometime. I guess I'd like to. Maybe he has a receding hairline already and I could laugh. I just dont want it to turn into lunch and sex or a """""relationship""""""
ALSO I heard that a girl I went to MCS with got kicked out of college for a drug habit which is SCARY because it's a drug I knew and loved. The past, the present, the lives we could have lived.
AND, I am not doing enough art. I'm so anxious about the future. Will I go abroad? Will I finish my major? or even....Will I go back to college? sometimes I worry that the day before I am supposed to go I will break down and dig in my heels. I need a goddamn break. Can I just... go... sit somewhere for a while?
THe girls (Pippa, Cara, Keilly, Anna, Katie O., Bea) came over tonight for a little while. It feels strange to not be there. Chewonki was such a big part of my life. I must say I do regret not being there. It would be fun (but sad and a little strange) to be there without Tom or Alex.
The summer this far has been... ehh. I'm constantly exhausted from working and doing shit. I see pat at work but I haven't seen a lot of my friends in a while.
THough, it has been quite the week for renewing old friendships... (Do I always do that in summer?)
-I met Jon Steitzer for lunch. He seemed well (better than this fall) and he apologized which... really meant a lot. I actually really liked seeing him. Maybe I'll hear from him again.
-I went down to York to Alex Redfield's and Rob from cty was there. HOW INSANE? We went to a sox game. My first, so hot.
-I've been emailing with WIlliams from la republica dominicana. It's interesting. He is so the same... it's all "You don't really want to see me, you never really liked me." HOnestly, I don't know how to interact... I mean, for god's sake... he must be... 25 now? such a different age from NINETEEN. And I regret what happened with him, I do. ANyways, he wants to go out for lunch or coffee sometime. I guess I'd like to. Maybe he has a receding hairline already and I could laugh. I just dont want it to turn into lunch and sex or a """""relationship""""""
ALSO I heard that a girl I went to MCS with got kicked out of college for a drug habit which is SCARY because it's a drug I knew and loved. The past, the present, the lives we could have lived.
AND, I am not doing enough art. I'm so anxious about the future. Will I go abroad? Will I finish my major? or even....Will I go back to college? sometimes I worry that the day before I am supposed to go I will break down and dig in my heels. I need a goddamn break. Can I just... go... sit somewhere for a while?