Darwin
Three weeks after the saga where we almost lost him, it looks like his time might be up. The vet has basically suggested that we could keep him going - that he is such a good dog that he'd do anything we asked of him; he would go through and try whatever we wished to try - but to what end? He IS going to get worse, it is only a matter of how prolonged it will be. Right now, his chest is full of blood, making it hard for him to breathe. If we were to give him several blood transfusions and time to try to recuperate the lost blood, and then went ahead with chemotherapy drugs, it would extend how long he has. But... He will likely continue to bleed from the tumor. The tumor may or may not shrink from the medicine. There may or may not be other tumors in his body. How much is it fair to put him through?
I love him as much as any boy could love his dog. I wish this weren't the end. I have wished so hard that he'd just live another eight or nine years! I know, it may seem silly, but I wanted our kids to meet him and love him. I wanted him to live long enough for us to have kids, for them to grow to an age where they could play with him, and for them to genuinely know him, and, I guess, miss him, too. I wanted them to pull on his curly tail and for him to not get annoyed about it. Which he wouldn't. Because he's such a wonderful dog.
We are going to go take him for a long walk. Tomorrow might well be his last day. We've pretty much decided that that is what is most fair to him and to us, and that we don't want to prolong this for more days than we have to.
He looks so normal on the outside. He is acting kind of run-down, because of all the blood loss, though. It will probably only get worse. I love him so much, and I wish that that alone could fix him.
I will always love him. I will almost remember him. And I will probably always compare every dog to him. He has the best personality, the most omnivorous diet, the smartest brain, and most agile body, and cutest ears and tail of any dog I've ever met. This seems so cruel and unfair, but I know that he has lived a good life. A wonderful life, even. And he has done things that most dogs will never get to do.
I will love you always, Darwin.
I love him as much as any boy could love his dog. I wish this weren't the end. I have wished so hard that he'd just live another eight or nine years! I know, it may seem silly, but I wanted our kids to meet him and love him. I wanted him to live long enough for us to have kids, for them to grow to an age where they could play with him, and for them to genuinely know him, and, I guess, miss him, too. I wanted them to pull on his curly tail and for him to not get annoyed about it. Which he wouldn't. Because he's such a wonderful dog.
We are going to go take him for a long walk. Tomorrow might well be his last day. We've pretty much decided that that is what is most fair to him and to us, and that we don't want to prolong this for more days than we have to.
He looks so normal on the outside. He is acting kind of run-down, because of all the blood loss, though. It will probably only get worse. I love him so much, and I wish that that alone could fix him.
I will always love him. I will almost remember him. And I will probably always compare every dog to him. He has the best personality, the most omnivorous diet, the smartest brain, and most agile body, and cutest ears and tail of any dog I've ever met. This seems so cruel and unfair, but I know that he has lived a good life. A wonderful life, even. And he has done things that most dogs will never get to do.
I will love you always, Darwin.