(Untitled)

[rinnakins]

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue

Comments

[anonymous]

Some quick background: I go to one of the top colleges in the nation. It's as expensive as hell and was super hard to get into. I applied early decision, because I was absolutely in love. But now that I'm here, the only fun I've had is in class. I don't have much of a social life, everyone sits around drinking, and I just feel out of place. The problem comes up with money. It's the second (?) most expensive college in the United States, and I can afford it. I can afford it because my family is very wealthy, though my father and mother are first-generation college-goers.

I've never felt so guilty in my life. It hit me in the middle of class today, when we were discussing economic disparities and the impact that has on levels of educational opportunities. I realized that there are so many talented and brilliant people that deserve to be here more than I do. I'm a high B, low A student-- always have been. Even though the classes have gotten harder, I've kept the same style of grades. I know I'm smart, but I'm not smart enough. I don't deserve to be here.

There are so many other people who could do so much more with this education. I still have no fucking clue what I want to do with my life. Until this year, I was determined to go into politics-- to single-handedly defeat the whole "corrupt politicians" stereotype. I'm older now, and I know that's impossible. I don't even like politics.

I don't know what to do, and I don't deserve to be here. I feel so guilty, like I'm squandering what's been given to me. I feel guilty.

[anonymous]

Anon, never put a limit on yourself.

Grades are hardly a good measure of how intelligent someone is. If you've got in there, then you deserve it as much as the next person.

[anonymous]

Even when not looking at grades, there are so many more brilliant people out there would, I'm sure, would love to be here. And I'm just...

I don't know. It's really silly, isn't it? Feeling guilty for doing my best?

[anonymous]

We all do sometimes, bb.

But I'm sure you're wonderful too!

[anonymous]

You deserve it as much as the next person.

You may deserve it more, since you don't take it for granted.

[anonymous]

I hope. I want to deserve this type of life. I want to use this education to change the world.

But what about those who can't? Who have the capabilities to change the world, but are just so disadvantaged that they'll never have a chance?

[anonymous]

Maybe you can use your education to help change their world.

[anonymous]

...

I can sure as hell try, right?