It’s not gay if it’s on the Mississippi (4/12)

[rinkafushi]

(crossposted on tumblr)

Last time on ~It’s not gay if it’s on the Mississipppi~: Mikhail abducts Silver and gets stabbed in the process, but still makes Nicholas promise that he won’t rape the girl, which he heroically promises. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.

If you want to read the whole debacle from the get-go, start here.

Note: I’ve noticed

Comments

[cyanshadow]

let’s begin with a song

Ahahaha, I third(?) this motion. :D

This is him on his best behavior.

I'm crying at this tbh. And kind of sorry that he's trying to behave himself because who knows what hilarious nonsense he might be doing otherwise. :'D

something something subltety is not this book’s forte

I feel like the sheathing is supposed to be the other way around, though? :D But yes, such subtle, very unnoticeable, wow.

That’s so sad, Aleksandra play Катюша :(

🤣🤣🤣

Because my lavish lifestyle doesn’t pay for itself, darling!! I have to extort someone, might as well be this jerk amirite ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

Did they bang during their army days, yea or nay??

appropriate gif is appropriate. :D And my vote would be "if Nicky showed signs of wanting to and Valentin thought it would be worth his while" :D Otherwise I suspect he would have happily let Nicky and Mikhail do all the banging while he idk taught them to cheat at cards or made himself indispensible in some other way.

What makes you think either is a great reason to think that they are wholesome people and thus prove that Nicholas isn’t a garbage chute of a human body.

I mean, they're both clearly pretty wholesome in comparison to Nicky, but yeah, I've got nothing for the second clause. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I love you shady conman!!!!!

<333

This conversation is legitimately cute and I wish the novels were more of this and less of everything Nicholas [[We could have had it all.mp3 intensifies]]

YES.

Also, I'd be willing to bet that Valentin totally does know how to swoon, you just have to unlock a higher friendship level before he'll admit it. :D

And awwww Valentin trying to model healthy boundaries and consent and ... failing, but at least he tried? XD

Maybe because you ordered her abduction and treat her like a horny psychopath while everyone else is at least halfway decent? Might that be a reason?

Nah, pretty sure that's not it. :'D It's gotta be that she's sleeping with everyone but him already. (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

Look at our 19th century Russian nobleman, swearing like an Alabama wine mom at Sunday brunch.

Ahahaha, well if they stopped off in Alabama, he would have had to hang out with someone while Nicky was rampaging around being a dick, y/y?

That racism sure was something. XD

And a+ "call the police" gif. Accurate reaction is accurate XDD

Because when I remember, I feel like cutting off your balls.

DO ITTT (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

I don’t even know what to comment on here, so, it’s a free for all, pick your own baffled response, please.

... I'm still voting for the "cut off his balls" plan, tbh. :D

[rinkafushi]

I'm crying at this tbh. And kind of sorry that he's trying to behave himself because who knows what hilarious nonsense he might be doing otherwise. :'D

It would probably involve more arson :')

I feel like the sheathing is supposed to be the other way around, though? :D

No, this is the book subtly foreshadowing his giant mother complex, don't you understand? This thematic through-line that's never broken by her appearing like a child youthful and innocent. She's virgin, mother and whore in one. So #deep (omg lj autocorrects that hashtag to "deepstate" and I want to DIE)

Otherwise I suspect he would have happily let Nicky and Mikhail do all the banging while he idk taught them to cheat at cards or made himself indispensible in some other way.

Good answer, and very probable! Thing is, from the way it's only ever stressed that Nicky and Valentin were in the army, I kind of got the impression that Mikhail... wasn't..? Idk maybe he only tagged along as Nicky's ekusochikku manservant.

Also, I'd be willing to bet that Valentin totally does know how to swoon, you just have to unlock a higher friendship level before he'll admit it. :D

Oh, he definitely does.

[cyanshadow]

It would probably involve more arson :')

Upgrade that to very sorry :D -- imagine what sort of plot might unfold if the shitty riverboat with the shady captain who's definitely not going to backstab Nicky in an incredibly obvious way BURNT DOWN. 🔥🔥😎

It might even be not terrible!!

(omg lj autocorrects that hashtag to "deepstate"

Oh noooooooo XD lj pls chill

I kind of got the impression that Mikhail... wasn't..?

Ohhh right, bc he was already a Cossack, which is totally like. The ekusochikku army. Never the twain shall meet etc. etc. :'D

(Oh, and I meant to say in my original post -- no need to apologize about how long it's been; I hope exams went well! (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑)

[rinkafushi]

It might even be not terrible!! I hope exams went well! (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

Only God the state exam crew knows. We shall learn in a few months :')