Monkey Sox Day 7: Do Over
Monkey Sox Meme Day 7: A letter/note to your future self
Title: Do Over
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Character/pairing: Lorne... spoilers!
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,125
Prompt: Hurt Comfort Bingo: Abandonment Issues
Cotton Candy Bingo: Home
Evan pushed open the door of the room at the end of the hallway, when John brought him home and showed him around he had pointed to it and said it was Evan’s studio. He had been gathering the courage to face going into the room, knowing it contained more proof of what he had lost, of how much of the person he had been was gone.
One wall was all windows, so the room was very bright. There were canvases stacked around the room, leaning against the walls and a few hanging on the walls. He slowly walked around, looking but not touching. Apparently, touching something he shouldn’t have was what started this whole mess.
There was a partially filled canvas on an easel near the windows. He went to it, studying the outline of what seemed to be a hip and legs. Clipped to the top of the easel was an envelope labeled “Evan” in block printing. He pulled it free and opened it, taking out the letter that was folded within.
He sank down onto the stool behind him and read the letter, which was dated four months earlier.
Evan,
By the time you get this, they will have either fixed the problem, or you’ll have completely lost your memory. They didn’t seem too optimistic about the chances, so we’ll go with the latter.
You’re probably feeling pretty lost. I don’t know what to say to that.
I’m writing this down now, because I know what is coming and I can’t let it happen.
Not everyone that was important to you - to me - is likely to come forward when things start sliding downhill. I know how my love thinks, I know how noble it would seem to step aside and let you - me - move on without the complications that were involved with our relationship.
You - I - can’t let that happen. It took too long, too much work to get to where we were. And we need each other. Don't abandon our love.
Evan
He spilled out the chain and ring that were in the envelope, a simple gold band. There was a date inscribed on it. He sighed. As he had feared, this room held more questions than answers about who he had been.
Going back to the living room, he sat at his desk and turned the laptop on. As he waited for it to boot up, he looked around, noticing now that there were gaps in the decor, as if things were missing from the walls and shelves. He had found a folder of photos on the desktop labelled as friends a while ago. He’d had time before his memory deteriorated to organize things, the note in the studio was not the first he had found.
He stared at the ring. Then he looked at the list of folders on the computer screen. There was a folder labeled with the same date. He opened it and found photos taken at a restaurant. He easily recognized John Sheppard and Carson Beckett, they had been there throughout his recovery. The blonde woman, Sam, had also come to visit him a few times. He didn’t recognize the other people, he had not met them since he had stabilized and stopped forgetting things.
In three of the photos, he had an arm around the shoulders of a sandy haired man with blue eyes. In one, the man was playfully kissing Evan’s cheek. Frustrated because the photos were not labeled, other than the camera’s file numbers for each image, he was about to shut down the folder when he spotted it. A gold ring, just like the one Evan was holding.
~*~
“Major Lorne, good to see you!” a uniformed man called as he walked down the corridor at the SGC. He smiled and gave a half wave, his new habit, since he rarely recognized any of the people that greeted him.
He had gone to see Sam, with a printout of one of the less incriminating photos in hand. She had sighed, shaken her head and given him a name and office number.
He paused at the office door and then took a deep breath, hoping his other self knew what he had been doing by sending him on this quest. He knocked.
“Yeah, come in!”
He opened the door and stepped in. Blue eyes widened at the sight of him. “Hi,” Evan said.
“Evan, hi. How ya doing? What brings you around?” He was trying for casual, but Evan could see panic on the Colonel’s face.
Stepping forward to the edge of the desk, he drew the ring on the chain from his pocket and dangled it in the air between them. “I think I’m a little mad at you, Cameron.”
“Cam. You never call me Cameron.”
“You left me,” Evan said, dropping the ring onto the desk.
Mitchell shook his head. “No. You left me. We had a fight.” He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back in his chair, staring up at Evan. “We weren’t together, and then you got sick. It didn’t seem right to dump that on you.”
“What was the fight about?” Evan asked, sitting on the edge of the chair in front of the desk.
“Does it matter?”
He shrugged. He didn’t know. “I don’t think I wanted to let you go.”
“How can you say that? You don’t remember anything. Or do you?”
“No. But I left myself a note, and the ring. Look, everyone, everything is strange to me. I don’t know how bad the damage was. I don't know what the issues were. I can’t answer to anything that happened in the past. Was it too much? Is there any chance we could start over?”
Mitchell stared at him across the desk, and Evan could see hunger and want in his eyes. He wanted to say yes. Old him had been right, Evan could see it now, Mitchell needed to say yes, needed him, even as broken as he was. “It wouldn’t be fair.”
“You loved me once. Enough to break regs.” Evan reached over and nudged the ring towards him. “I need... direction. I’m trying to pick up the pieces and move forward. I need someone that knew the old me.”
They stared at each other over the desk for a minute. “Oh, what the hell, I was retiring anyway. Let’s do it.” Mitchell got up and circled around the desk. He cupped Evan’s cheeks and bent down, kissing him gently. “I call a do over,” he whispered as he pulled back.
“Do over,” Evan agreed, and then he kissed Mitchell, though he knew it hadn’t been the kiss he had been referring to. It felt right. It felt like... home.
The endOriginally posted at http://rinkafic.dreamwidth.org/