Pools of Blue
Title: Pools of Blue
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis - AU
Series: A snippet from the Goddess ‘verse
Character: Laru (Laura Cadman)
Rating: Gen
Medium: free-form poem
Word Count: 550
Prompt: Kink Bingo Fill: “Worship”
Hurt Comfort Bingo Fill: "Abandonment Issues"
I thought I would miss the adulation most of all
Sobbing, whining, bawling, crying,
These have become the sounds of my life
New sounds that greet me with each sunrise.
Where once there were perfumed offerings
Served upon silver and gold trays
Now there are dirty bottoms and soggy wetness
A constant, never ending cycle of mortality.
I was a goddess. I was worshipped.
My world has constricted to two
My powers gone, all glory but memories now.
I should be bitter, but how can I be?
I did not choose this, it was done to me.
Forced to flee, to hide, to cower in fear.
It raises the bile in my throat when I think on it
My anger chokes me, I do not deserve this.
Once, I could have raised armies
I could have vanquished our foe.
Instead, I hide, to protect them, to protect myself
Powerless now, weak and insignificant. Mortal.
And yet, I am the center of the universe
For two tiny creatures that sprang forth from my body.
The worshipped has become the worshipper
I dote on their every sound, their every movement.
As men once kissed my feet,
I nibble on chubby toes to make them laugh.
As I was once bathed in luxurious scents
I now wash soft skin and pat it dry, oil it.
Such a turn of events, I could never have foreseen
And if I had, I would have rejected it
Refused it, had none of it.
But now, I could imagine no other way.
They offer me nothing but sloppy smiles
Now and then an occasional coo,
Even better, a spate of happy giggles.
It is those giggles that sustain me on the bad days.
I would never have thought it enough,
I always thought I needed more, I thought I was entitled to more.
But two tiny beings have changed me, have taught me otherwise
I am both more and less than I was.
I was angry, so very angry to be abandoned
Left alone with this burden in a place where I knew not a soul.
Where none would glance my way twice,
Much less bend a knee in veneration.
Once there were songs sung to me,
The faithful beseeched me for blessings.
I handed out favors and punishments
I was a force to be reckoned with.
Now, a tiny hand clings to my breast,
Wordlessly asking no more than just me;
The milk of my body, the warmth of my arms
Given freely, without reservation, without obligation.
A war was fought for me, men died for me.
The faithful sacrificed, for me, to me, in temples built in my honor
And now, I would fight to the death for these two.
I would give all, have given all, for them.
What good is glory when one is alone?
Who cares for hollow praises?
When did homage ever do me any good?
Where were all the faithful souls when I needed help?
He promised to return for me, for all of us.
I hold onto that hope with my new mortal heart.
I had to let him go, to do what I could not.
I had to put my trust in a damaged godling.
May chaos preserve us all.
They have become my whole world.
I have enough here in our banishment.
I have love when I look down into pools of blue.
Adulation is not love. I know that now.Originally posted at http://rinkafic.dreamwidth.org/
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis - AU
Series: A snippet from the Goddess ‘verse
Character: Laru (Laura Cadman)
Rating: Gen
Medium: free-form poem
Word Count: 550
Prompt: Kink Bingo Fill: “Worship”
Hurt Comfort Bingo Fill: "Abandonment Issues"
I thought I would miss the adulation most of all
Sobbing, whining, bawling, crying,
These have become the sounds of my life
New sounds that greet me with each sunrise.
Where once there were perfumed offerings
Served upon silver and gold trays
Now there are dirty bottoms and soggy wetness
A constant, never ending cycle of mortality.
I was a goddess. I was worshipped.
My world has constricted to two
My powers gone, all glory but memories now.
I should be bitter, but how can I be?
I did not choose this, it was done to me.
Forced to flee, to hide, to cower in fear.
It raises the bile in my throat when I think on it
My anger chokes me, I do not deserve this.
Once, I could have raised armies
I could have vanquished our foe.
Instead, I hide, to protect them, to protect myself
Powerless now, weak and insignificant. Mortal.
And yet, I am the center of the universe
For two tiny creatures that sprang forth from my body.
The worshipped has become the worshipper
I dote on their every sound, their every movement.
As men once kissed my feet,
I nibble on chubby toes to make them laugh.
As I was once bathed in luxurious scents
I now wash soft skin and pat it dry, oil it.
Such a turn of events, I could never have foreseen
And if I had, I would have rejected it
Refused it, had none of it.
But now, I could imagine no other way.
They offer me nothing but sloppy smiles
Now and then an occasional coo,
Even better, a spate of happy giggles.
It is those giggles that sustain me on the bad days.
I would never have thought it enough,
I always thought I needed more, I thought I was entitled to more.
But two tiny beings have changed me, have taught me otherwise
I am both more and less than I was.
I was angry, so very angry to be abandoned
Left alone with this burden in a place where I knew not a soul.
Where none would glance my way twice,
Much less bend a knee in veneration.
Once there were songs sung to me,
The faithful beseeched me for blessings.
I handed out favors and punishments
I was a force to be reckoned with.
Now, a tiny hand clings to my breast,
Wordlessly asking no more than just me;
The milk of my body, the warmth of my arms
Given freely, without reservation, without obligation.
A war was fought for me, men died for me.
The faithful sacrificed, for me, to me, in temples built in my honor
And now, I would fight to the death for these two.
I would give all, have given all, for them.
What good is glory when one is alone?
Who cares for hollow praises?
When did homage ever do me any good?
Where were all the faithful souls when I needed help?
He promised to return for me, for all of us.
I hold onto that hope with my new mortal heart.
I had to let him go, to do what I could not.
I had to put my trust in a damaged godling.
May chaos preserve us all.
They have become my whole world.
I have enough here in our banishment.
I have love when I look down into pools of blue.
Adulation is not love. I know that now.Originally posted at http://rinkafic.dreamwidth.org/