Fic: Earn His Trust and Love Will Come After (3/4)
Title: Earn His Trust And Love Will Come After (3/4);
Rating: NC-17;
Genre: romance, angst, hurt/comfort, dreams/nightmares;
Pairing/Characters:Levia!Dean/Castiel, Dean/Castiel, Sam, Bobby, Jodie Mills;
Spoilers: spoilers for 7x6;
Beta: Un'beta'ed, all mistakes are my own;
Warnings: Sexual content, language, major hurt and consent issues;
Word Count: 4200 this part;
Summary: Dean found the truth that Castiel was alive but kept prisoner by Leviathans. Without a second though he rushed to get the angel free. Dean expected anything but what he witnessed when he was finally able to find his friend. Saving him wasn't a big deal, but earning his trust back after everything the Leviathans did to the angel was a different story.
Part 1 Part 2
Part 3
Castiel woke up cowered in sweat and breathing heavy. The traces of the nightmare were still fresh in his mind and it was difficult to concentrate. The angel still couldn't understand what was real and what wasn't; the world around him was like separated into two parts and he was flying somewhere in the middle.
"Hey, Cas…" He heard a familiar voice next to his bed and turned his head, which surprisingly still didn't quite understand where the angel was, but at least it wasn't aching and the dizziness was nearly gone. "Did I wake you up?" The voice asked.
Castiel fixed his eyes on a figure in which he recognized Sam. Several strong emotions suddenly filled the angel and he wasn't sure which one seemed most appropriate for the situation. First - he realized that everything what happened moments ago wasn't real, it was simply his memories returning to him in a form of a nightmare and it made the angel feel somewhat relieved. Second - he was simply glad to see the younger Winchester alive and what more important - fine. But at the same time a strong feeling of guilt settled in the bottom of his stomach clenching on him from inside and making him feel sick.
"I brought you breakfast." Sam explained as he handed the angel a plate with something white and mushy. With a mention of food, Castiel's stomach suddenly stared to growl, asking the angel to give up his diffidence and accept the plate with something which under closer examination looked really uneatable.
"Umm…" Castiel emitted looking at the weird mushy substance.
"Oh, please tell me that you not going to play Dean and refuse eating anything which looks even slightly weird." Sam groaned. "It's just oat flakes porridge. It's not that bad!"
Castiel tore his gaze from the plate and gave Sam a peery glance, before digging into his meal. The thing was terrible. And it wasn't about the taste, because surprisingly it tasted not that bad especially with a fact that there was a bunch of small fruit pieces mixed with it. But the consistence was just disgusting: sticky and slick it suddenly started to remind the angel… not he wasn't going to think about it right now. Castiel sighed and started to devour the porridge as fast as he could trying to swallow it before he could feel anything.
"It was revolting..." Castiel concluded when he finally finished his breakfast.
Sam gifted Castiel with an amused look, but didn't comment anything. "Going to give you an antibiotic shot now, please don't freak out." He simply informed extracting a syringe and a needle from a first aid kit he brought with him.
Sam really expected the angel to react somehow terrified seeing a needle, but Castiel simply stretched out his arm allowing the younger hunter to reach to his vein, watching his every move as the needle pierced his skin. Sam knew that the angel had been tortured and was sure something like this could make the angel at least nervous to see if not to summon another round of screams and shakings. But Castiel was calm. Together with the fact Dean was as silent as a fish, it looked very suspicious, but Sam decided not to think about it right now. If both, his older brother and the angel didn't want to talk about it yet, it was their right.
"All right!" Sam announced cheerfully as he finished with his task. "All done."
He was about to stand up from the edge of the bed he was sitting on and leave the room, as Castiel suddenly called him. Sam turned his head back and was met with one of Castiel's confused looks. It was like the angel wanted to say something, but hesitated.
"Yes?" Sam asked, trying to encourage Castiel to conversation.
"Sam…" Castiel repeated the younger hunter's name and moved his gaze down looking on a white blanket like it suddenly became the most remarkable thing in the room. "Is it… is it really you?" He finally asked.
"Yeah, well." The younger Winchester nodded. "I know it may be still difficult to believe for you, but I swear, it's really me."
Castiel sighed closing his eyes. For a moment he was absolutely still and silent, but then he turned his head and looked back at Sam. "I'm sorry…" he whispered quietly.
Sam was sure that it would be difficult to forgive Castiel after everything he had done, after he used the younger Winchester to distract Dean and broke the wall in his head; he thought that he would be angry at the angel, but surprisingly he just couldn't find anything like that among his emotions. In his own experience there had been moments when he was making wrong decisions with only good intentions. He simply felt like he had no rights to judge the angel.
"It's ok, Cas, really," Sam smiled. "Everything turned to not that bad, as it seemed. At least with my wall. To tell the truth I'm grateful that I don't have it anymore." He admitted.
"You're too kind." Castiel said.
"Hey, that is what family for!" Sam nodded and placed his palm on angel's shoulder.
Suddenly Castiel jerked trying to get away from the touch and then winced from pain.
"Cas?" Sam called. "You ok?"
"Yes." The angel responded. "Sorry, I still can't get used to… to this."
"To touches?" Sam raised his eyebrows, waiting Castiel to respond, but the angel was silent. Sam could swear he saw a light blush cowered angel's cheeks. "Do you want to talk about it?" Sam inquired.
"No!" Castiel cut off and if Sam wasn't sure he saw blush on angel's cheeks before, so now it definitely was there.
"All right…" Sam nodded. If he had been slightly suspicious before, now the pieces of a puzzle started to combine in his head. His guess still looked very ridiculous and unbelievable, but for now it was the only legit explanation of Dean and Castiel's behavior. This thought suddenly made a weave of empathy and condolence wash through his mind. "You want me to leave you for now?" He asked.
"Yes." Castiel replied. "No!" He added suddenly.
Sam frowned in confusion when he caught another pitiful expression on Castiel's face.
"I need…" The angel started like he was about to tell Sam something extremely embarrassing. "I need to use bathroom…" He admitted after a moment of hesitation, blushing even more than before.
***
Dean was trying to do his best to banish his memories away. He had already tried to watch any sort of drama on TV, he had tried to drink himself into the oblivion and even work some on his baby, polishing her black sides for already fifth time, but it hadn't worked (the banishing of the memories part, because polishing the car was something Dean could perform even while being very drunk). Every time the hunter was closing his eyes he saw the Leviathan copy of himself doing terrible things to his friend. The alcohol part actually not only didn't help the situation, but made it even worse as the terrible memories started to turn into not so much terrible fantasies including himself and Castiel. Dean had started to imagine himself on the place of his imposter, but instead of torturing he was caring and gentle with the angel and the angel was responding to every hunter's touch not with tearful gases, but with passion.
Dean was wondering why had his drunk brain decided to go this way, because the hunter clearly wasn't a gay or something, he was perfectly straight and interested in only boobs in any forms was it real boobs of real girls or glance paper ones shining bright from the pages of his favorite magazines. But the problem here wasn't in the orientation, Dean was simply angry at the whole situation, at the fact that first Castiel's experience with sexual activities had been not as it should have been and moreover that it was Dean's face (and other parts) the angel saw participating in the said experience. It was some sort of a blow below the belt for hunter's pride, because neither his face nor his other parts should ever associate with pain and humiliation but only with pleasure and satisfaction, both physical and moral. No wonder why his drunken mind decided to generate the ideas about proving Castiel wrong.
Right now Dean was laying still on a couch with his gaze glued to the wooden ceiling. He wasn't tired and wouldn't be able to sleep even he would try, and he was bored, but with a fact he was still smashed from the bottle of Jack Daniels he couldn't allow himself to drive anywhere (not because he was a responsible person who knew what kind of bad shit could happen if one would drive drunk, but simply because Bobby was sitting in the same room and he would shot the younger hunter with a round of salt if he was to make a single move in attempt to climb on the driver seat of the Impala. And, even if Dean could actually sneak to his baby and drive away while Bobby had his guard down, the older hunter would surely shot him after Dean's return.)
Dean also found himself in a weird situation: from one side he didn't want to go anywhere near Castiel, because every time the angel was in his sight, Dean's head was trying even harder to summon all those weird fantasies and it was sort of disturbing for the hunter. No, not sort of, it was really disturbing for him. But from another side after several hour of laying on a couch and not doing a thing, after several hours the angel had been out of Dean's sight, the hunter found himself nearly urging to rush to the other room to simply check if his friend was doing ok, and that was even more disturbing for Dean, because if he actually could coexist with the fact he found himself wanting to prove the angel how awesome sex with him could be, the sudden urge of simply stay close to his friend was way to alien.
Dean saw his younger brother disappearing in Castiel's room several minutes ago with a plate of the most terrible thing the humanity could create - the oat porridge. Dean had no idea why his brother decided to torture the angel with this terrible thing after all other kinds of torture Castiel was unfortunate to experience.
In approximately five or six minutes Sam spent in the bedroom, the door opened and the younger Winchester emerged from it with an angel arm wrapped around his shoulder and the angel himself toddling awkwardly next to him leaning on Sam in a search of support. Together they moved through the cabin's main room and disappeared outside. Dean couldn't hold himself and got up from the couch walking casually to the kitchen area and stopping suddenly in the middle as he decided to stretch his limbs, raising his hands up in the air and yawning. By a coincidence the spot he chose to perform this stretching happened to be right in front of the window which allowed him (also by a simple coincidence) to spot Sam leading Castiel to a wooden toilet across the small yard. After that Dean continued his way to a table in the kitchen area and sat on a chair next to Bobby.
"And how long are you going to play this game?" asked Bobby, who was watching Dean's little performance with an amused frown. Because only Bobby could frown in amusement.
"Have no idea what are you talking about." Dean smirked.
"Listen, boy, if you don't want to talk about what happened with Feathers, no-one makes you to, but don't pull all this crap on me."
"What crap?"
Bobby frowned yet again, but this time there was nothing amused in the frown: "You care about the idiot, and you've already managed to forgive him because this is who you are, but why the hell you're still trying to pretend otherwise?" He asked.
"And what is your suggestion? That I should stick around him every second from now on?"
"If it will help you, so yes, maybe you should!"
"What else? Feed him with a spoon, sing him lullabies every night and cuddle when he sleeps?"
"Oh, if this is what you want…" Bobby frowned with a sneer. Because it was only Bobby who could frown not only with amusement but with a sneer as well.
"Shut up…" Dean groaned and stood from the table to return to the couch.
If Dean would have been less angry right now, he would think about the fact that the whole his travel to the kitchen was totally pointless, but as his mind was currently veiled, he simply didn't notice it.
***
It had been several days Castiel spent with the three hunters. The inner fright the angel had at the beginning slowly started to fade down, replaced by a feeling of calm and safety even if he still didn't want trust them as much as he had used to around two years ago.
The pain in his body also started to calm down and, in a matter of days, he was able to stand up on his own and walk around the room. It didn't disappear totally of course and every step was causing new bursts of throbbing, plus every time Castiel had to satisfy the needs of his digestion system it was like a torture all over again, but it still was way better than four days before.
The poor and unsubstantial food slowly started to turn into more rich and tasty. At the end of the fourth day Castiel had even been allowed to eat a piece of baked red meat, which seemed to him as the tastiest thing in the whole world one could try. The other morning he even found a piece of an apple pie on the night stand next to the bed left there by Dean. There weren't any identification, like a note, that it had been Dean who brought it of course, Castiel just knew it.
The apple pie tasted not as good as a piece of red meat, but it was the best thing in the world anyway, because Dean left it for him.
At the same time this piece of pie was like a single prove of the fact that Dean Winchester still existed in angel's life, because otherwise Castiel saw him so rarely that it seemed like Dean was trying to avoid him. To tell the truth, Castiel actually knew that it exactly was the reason, and to tell another truth it also was totally fine by the angel, because every time he appeared in the same room with Dean, he couldn't stop panicking. It was simply out of his control. Although even his panic was now more silent. He stopped to shake and try to run away every time the older Winchester was somewhere at his sight.
The nightmares were still visiting him every time he was falling asleep. First two nights Castiel had been waking up screaming and cowered in sweat, but later he learned to distinguish the dream from reality and even if the nightmares had been still waking him up in the middle of the night, he at least regained enough control not to end up waking up the other three cohabiters with his screams.
Castiel's nightmares had been absolutely same during those several days. It had always been the Leviathan doing all this things to the angel. Castiel dreamed about how they had moved from the dirty warehouse the next morning after they spent their first night together (it had been really a terrible experience, it hurtled very much and the whole Castiel's body had been aching for the next several days.) Then the fake Dean had repeated everything all over again, while being even rougher than the first time. They were traveling around the country for the whole month and the angel had no idea where exactly they were each time they had been stopping somewhere for the night.
Once the shorter man managed to run away, but his freedom was so short, that he even had no time to register the fact that he wasn't around his offender. The night after being found and recaptured had been the first time Castiel was beaten.
***
This night Castiel woke up not because of a nightmare but because he simply felt someone watching him. The angel opened his eyes and spotted a figure in the dark room sitting on the edge of his bed half lid with moonlight soaking through the window. Castiel was about to start panicking but he decided to calm himself down as the room he woke up was diffidently the one he had used to fall asleep for the last several days: it still was the same wooden cabin in the middle of a forest, so there shouldn't be anything that could harm him, or at least that was what he hoped for.
The figure had wide shoulders and short hair and most likely belonged to a man, whose face was still in the dark, but Castiel was able recognize this silhouette anywhere - it was Dean Winchester. The hunter was sitting on the edge of the bed and didn't move a single inch, like he didn't notice Castiel waking up.
"Dean?" Castiel called hesitatingly.
Dean turned his head and his face made into the moonlight lidding his exhausted features. The hunter looked calm and mostly emotionless which was very unusual for him.
"What are you doing here?" asked the angel, as he understood that Dean wasn't going to talk.
"Just tired of running." Dean said.
"What do you mean?" The angel inquired. "What are you running from?"
"You…" Dean simply answered, like it had to make everything clear.
"Me?"
"Yes."
Suddenly Dean moved closer to Castiel, placing his palm on angel's chest then he leaned forward and placed his lips on Castiel's, making the angel squint in surprise. The fake Dean had never kissed Castiel before, but this Dean wasn't kissing either. The layer of sharp teeth dag in the sensitive skin of Castiel lips making the angel taste blood in his mouth. The whole room started to shake and the terrible smell of fish and morass, the shorter man had already managed to forget, sank back into Castiel's nostrils.
"Had to do it from the very beginning," whispered Dean after they parted their lips, "had to simply eat you from the very beginning, not to waste my time on all this masquerades. But, at least you taste better right now." Dean concluded with a wide inhuman smile and rushed on top of the angel once again, tearing the flash of Castiel's vessel with his teeth.
***
A loud scream in the middle of the night made Dean jump from the couch he was sleeping on. It took him a whole minute to understand what was going on, but when he did, he rushed to the small bedroom where they left Castiel for the night, nearly knocking down Sam who was heading in the same direction.
"Cas!" He yelled bursting into the bedroom.
The angel seemed like he was still asleep, yelling out loud something incoherent and tumbling in the bed, pushing the blanket off himself with his legs. It was the first time for the last five days he woke up screaming and it suddenly frightened Dean a lot.
Without second thoughts, he dashed towards Castiel, grabbing him by shoulders "Wake up, Cas!" Dean ordered shaking his friends. The angel opened his eyes, but it made the whole situation even worse, as now he started to wriggle even more, trying to push the hunter away. "Cas!" Dean groaned and made several steps back, giving the angel time to recover from the nightmare he had probably had a moment ago.
Finally Castiel stopped screaming and looked over himself like he was trying to find something there then he fixed his gaze on two brothers. "Dean?" He surprised blinking and trying to catch his breath.
"Will you cover it?" The younger Winchester asked watching Castiel finally calming down.
"Yeah… yeah, Sammy, go to bed." Dean nodded.
Sam gave his brother an understanding look before going out from the room leaving Dean and Castiel alone and suddenly Dean realized that it was probably his mistake to send Sam away, as the situation became extremely awkward. Castiel of course stopped screaming, but the air of panic never casted out from his face. The angel was laying motionless on the bad looking at the hunter with terrified eyes, like Dean was about to kill the poor guy.
And it was after they had made those several steps, when Castiel was finally able to keep calm in Dean's presence. Now it looked like they returned on the stage one again. It also occurred to the hunter that it was going to be the first time since the day Dean rescued his friend when he would actually have to speak with him, as the whole that time he had preferred to avoid him.
"Cas, listen," Dean started, "I know it is difficult for you, but damn, I'm not in a much better position. Ok, well, may be in a better one, but still."
The angel was listening to him without replying anything. It really looked like the guy even wasn't sure what was going on around, like he suddenly forgot English and now was listening to some sort of gibberish out of Dean's month.
"Damn it, Cas!" Dean sighed. "What can I do, to make you believe that I'm real? That it wasn't me who has been around you this whole month, that's I'm not going to turn into a some sort of monster?"
"Can I smell you?"
"Because I really have no idea how to prove it to you!.. What?" Dean suddenly blurred hearing Castiel's request.
"Can I smell you?" The angel repeated slowly, making Dean fell into a some sort of stupor.
For a moment they were just staring at each-other not even breathing. Dean felt how the heart in his chest stared to beat faster, every beat echoed in his head like a drum. His mind was spinning fast, trying to understand the reason behind this weird request, because for some reasons it sounded like the dirtiest thing Dean had ever heard, like the angel suddenly asked him to do something extremely private and kinky Dean had never thought about before. Finally Dean was able to regain control over his body and reply something. He really expected that he would question the weird wish, but he found himself simply nodding.
"Ok…" he said and made a step forward.
Dean was able to see that with every step the angel looked more and more nervous and to tell the truth he felt exactly the same. It was even worse than that time when he had been dating a girl in one of his high schools and she had finally allowed Dean to touch her in intimate way for the first time.
Finally Dean came close enough to being able to bend over the bed of his friend. He couldn't stop himself but glancing on Castiel lips and the flashes of memories of what he had been doing with those lips in the police station, together with Dean's own fantasies suddenly started to invade hunter's mind. Dean closed his eyes trying to banish all this thoughts, but it didn't work. Several hot puffs of air on Dean's neck as Castiel was trying to sniff him didn't help this situation anyhow as angel's breath on Dean's skin only sent shivers over taller man's spine making the hair on the small of his back stand on end.
"Hmm…" Castiel finally exhaled against Dean's neck, sending another round of shivers through the whole Dean's body.
The hunter finally tore himself away from the bed, feeling as a huge wave of blush washed over him and settled somewhere around his face.
"So, what was that about?" Dean asked, trying to calm down his nerves.
Castiel this time surprisingly looked more relaxed than he was before, like he finally understood that Dean was telling the truth. Of course his tension never left him totally, but it was a great step already, greater than all other steps he had managed to do during those last days. The angel sighed in relief and this moment something like softened in his eyes. "Dean…" He said quietly, like he saw the hunter for the first time for ages.
Dean funnily exhaled the air he even didn't notice he was holding in his lungs. It still felt really awkward to be around his friend and Dean still wanted to run away and never return in this room, but if Castiel finally recognized him, it was a small price to pay with all this embarrassment.
"Yeah Cas, yeah…" Dean nodded. "It's me."
To be continued...
<< Previous
Rating: NC-17;
Genre: romance, angst, hurt/comfort, dreams/nightmares;
Pairing/Characters:Levia!Dean/Castiel, Dean/Castiel, Sam, Bobby, Jodie Mills;
Spoilers: spoilers for 7x6;
Beta: Un'beta'ed, all mistakes are my own;
Warnings: Sexual content, language, major hurt and consent issues;
Word Count: 4200 this part;
Summary: Dean found the truth that Castiel was alive but kept prisoner by Leviathans. Without a second though he rushed to get the angel free. Dean expected anything but what he witnessed when he was finally able to find his friend. Saving him wasn't a big deal, but earning his trust back after everything the Leviathans did to the angel was a different story.
Part 1 Part 2
Part 3
Castiel woke up cowered in sweat and breathing heavy. The traces of the nightmare were still fresh in his mind and it was difficult to concentrate. The angel still couldn't understand what was real and what wasn't; the world around him was like separated into two parts and he was flying somewhere in the middle.
"Hey, Cas…" He heard a familiar voice next to his bed and turned his head, which surprisingly still didn't quite understand where the angel was, but at least it wasn't aching and the dizziness was nearly gone. "Did I wake you up?" The voice asked.
Castiel fixed his eyes on a figure in which he recognized Sam. Several strong emotions suddenly filled the angel and he wasn't sure which one seemed most appropriate for the situation. First - he realized that everything what happened moments ago wasn't real, it was simply his memories returning to him in a form of a nightmare and it made the angel feel somewhat relieved. Second - he was simply glad to see the younger Winchester alive and what more important - fine. But at the same time a strong feeling of guilt settled in the bottom of his stomach clenching on him from inside and making him feel sick.
"I brought you breakfast." Sam explained as he handed the angel a plate with something white and mushy. With a mention of food, Castiel's stomach suddenly stared to growl, asking the angel to give up his diffidence and accept the plate with something which under closer examination looked really uneatable.
"Umm…" Castiel emitted looking at the weird mushy substance.
"Oh, please tell me that you not going to play Dean and refuse eating anything which looks even slightly weird." Sam groaned. "It's just oat flakes porridge. It's not that bad!"
Castiel tore his gaze from the plate and gave Sam a peery glance, before digging into his meal. The thing was terrible. And it wasn't about the taste, because surprisingly it tasted not that bad especially with a fact that there was a bunch of small fruit pieces mixed with it. But the consistence was just disgusting: sticky and slick it suddenly started to remind the angel… not he wasn't going to think about it right now. Castiel sighed and started to devour the porridge as fast as he could trying to swallow it before he could feel anything.
"It was revolting..." Castiel concluded when he finally finished his breakfast.
Sam gifted Castiel with an amused look, but didn't comment anything. "Going to give you an antibiotic shot now, please don't freak out." He simply informed extracting a syringe and a needle from a first aid kit he brought with him.
Sam really expected the angel to react somehow terrified seeing a needle, but Castiel simply stretched out his arm allowing the younger hunter to reach to his vein, watching his every move as the needle pierced his skin. Sam knew that the angel had been tortured and was sure something like this could make the angel at least nervous to see if not to summon another round of screams and shakings. But Castiel was calm. Together with the fact Dean was as silent as a fish, it looked very suspicious, but Sam decided not to think about it right now. If both, his older brother and the angel didn't want to talk about it yet, it was their right.
"All right!" Sam announced cheerfully as he finished with his task. "All done."
He was about to stand up from the edge of the bed he was sitting on and leave the room, as Castiel suddenly called him. Sam turned his head back and was met with one of Castiel's confused looks. It was like the angel wanted to say something, but hesitated.
"Yes?" Sam asked, trying to encourage Castiel to conversation.
"Sam…" Castiel repeated the younger hunter's name and moved his gaze down looking on a white blanket like it suddenly became the most remarkable thing in the room. "Is it… is it really you?" He finally asked.
"Yeah, well." The younger Winchester nodded. "I know it may be still difficult to believe for you, but I swear, it's really me."
Castiel sighed closing his eyes. For a moment he was absolutely still and silent, but then he turned his head and looked back at Sam. "I'm sorry…" he whispered quietly.
Sam was sure that it would be difficult to forgive Castiel after everything he had done, after he used the younger Winchester to distract Dean and broke the wall in his head; he thought that he would be angry at the angel, but surprisingly he just couldn't find anything like that among his emotions. In his own experience there had been moments when he was making wrong decisions with only good intentions. He simply felt like he had no rights to judge the angel.
"It's ok, Cas, really," Sam smiled. "Everything turned to not that bad, as it seemed. At least with my wall. To tell the truth I'm grateful that I don't have it anymore." He admitted.
"You're too kind." Castiel said.
"Hey, that is what family for!" Sam nodded and placed his palm on angel's shoulder.
Suddenly Castiel jerked trying to get away from the touch and then winced from pain.
"Cas?" Sam called. "You ok?"
"Yes." The angel responded. "Sorry, I still can't get used to… to this."
"To touches?" Sam raised his eyebrows, waiting Castiel to respond, but the angel was silent. Sam could swear he saw a light blush cowered angel's cheeks. "Do you want to talk about it?" Sam inquired.
"No!" Castiel cut off and if Sam wasn't sure he saw blush on angel's cheeks before, so now it definitely was there.
"All right…" Sam nodded. If he had been slightly suspicious before, now the pieces of a puzzle started to combine in his head. His guess still looked very ridiculous and unbelievable, but for now it was the only legit explanation of Dean and Castiel's behavior. This thought suddenly made a weave of empathy and condolence wash through his mind. "You want me to leave you for now?" He asked.
"Yes." Castiel replied. "No!" He added suddenly.
Sam frowned in confusion when he caught another pitiful expression on Castiel's face.
"I need…" The angel started like he was about to tell Sam something extremely embarrassing. "I need to use bathroom…" He admitted after a moment of hesitation, blushing even more than before.
***
Dean was trying to do his best to banish his memories away. He had already tried to watch any sort of drama on TV, he had tried to drink himself into the oblivion and even work some on his baby, polishing her black sides for already fifth time, but it hadn't worked (the banishing of the memories part, because polishing the car was something Dean could perform even while being very drunk). Every time the hunter was closing his eyes he saw the Leviathan copy of himself doing terrible things to his friend. The alcohol part actually not only didn't help the situation, but made it even worse as the terrible memories started to turn into not so much terrible fantasies including himself and Castiel. Dean had started to imagine himself on the place of his imposter, but instead of torturing he was caring and gentle with the angel and the angel was responding to every hunter's touch not with tearful gases, but with passion.
Dean was wondering why had his drunk brain decided to go this way, because the hunter clearly wasn't a gay or something, he was perfectly straight and interested in only boobs in any forms was it real boobs of real girls or glance paper ones shining bright from the pages of his favorite magazines. But the problem here wasn't in the orientation, Dean was simply angry at the whole situation, at the fact that first Castiel's experience with sexual activities had been not as it should have been and moreover that it was Dean's face (and other parts) the angel saw participating in the said experience. It was some sort of a blow below the belt for hunter's pride, because neither his face nor his other parts should ever associate with pain and humiliation but only with pleasure and satisfaction, both physical and moral. No wonder why his drunken mind decided to generate the ideas about proving Castiel wrong.
Right now Dean was laying still on a couch with his gaze glued to the wooden ceiling. He wasn't tired and wouldn't be able to sleep even he would try, and he was bored, but with a fact he was still smashed from the bottle of Jack Daniels he couldn't allow himself to drive anywhere (not because he was a responsible person who knew what kind of bad shit could happen if one would drive drunk, but simply because Bobby was sitting in the same room and he would shot the younger hunter with a round of salt if he was to make a single move in attempt to climb on the driver seat of the Impala. And, even if Dean could actually sneak to his baby and drive away while Bobby had his guard down, the older hunter would surely shot him after Dean's return.)
Dean also found himself in a weird situation: from one side he didn't want to go anywhere near Castiel, because every time the angel was in his sight, Dean's head was trying even harder to summon all those weird fantasies and it was sort of disturbing for the hunter. No, not sort of, it was really disturbing for him. But from another side after several hour of laying on a couch and not doing a thing, after several hours the angel had been out of Dean's sight, the hunter found himself nearly urging to rush to the other room to simply check if his friend was doing ok, and that was even more disturbing for Dean, because if he actually could coexist with the fact he found himself wanting to prove the angel how awesome sex with him could be, the sudden urge of simply stay close to his friend was way to alien.
Dean saw his younger brother disappearing in Castiel's room several minutes ago with a plate of the most terrible thing the humanity could create - the oat porridge. Dean had no idea why his brother decided to torture the angel with this terrible thing after all other kinds of torture Castiel was unfortunate to experience.
In approximately five or six minutes Sam spent in the bedroom, the door opened and the younger Winchester emerged from it with an angel arm wrapped around his shoulder and the angel himself toddling awkwardly next to him leaning on Sam in a search of support. Together they moved through the cabin's main room and disappeared outside. Dean couldn't hold himself and got up from the couch walking casually to the kitchen area and stopping suddenly in the middle as he decided to stretch his limbs, raising his hands up in the air and yawning. By a coincidence the spot he chose to perform this stretching happened to be right in front of the window which allowed him (also by a simple coincidence) to spot Sam leading Castiel to a wooden toilet across the small yard. After that Dean continued his way to a table in the kitchen area and sat on a chair next to Bobby.
"And how long are you going to play this game?" asked Bobby, who was watching Dean's little performance with an amused frown. Because only Bobby could frown in amusement.
"Have no idea what are you talking about." Dean smirked.
"Listen, boy, if you don't want to talk about what happened with Feathers, no-one makes you to, but don't pull all this crap on me."
"What crap?"
Bobby frowned yet again, but this time there was nothing amused in the frown: "You care about the idiot, and you've already managed to forgive him because this is who you are, but why the hell you're still trying to pretend otherwise?" He asked.
"And what is your suggestion? That I should stick around him every second from now on?"
"If it will help you, so yes, maybe you should!"
"What else? Feed him with a spoon, sing him lullabies every night and cuddle when he sleeps?"
"Oh, if this is what you want…" Bobby frowned with a sneer. Because it was only Bobby who could frown not only with amusement but with a sneer as well.
"Shut up…" Dean groaned and stood from the table to return to the couch.
If Dean would have been less angry right now, he would think about the fact that the whole his travel to the kitchen was totally pointless, but as his mind was currently veiled, he simply didn't notice it.
***
It had been several days Castiel spent with the three hunters. The inner fright the angel had at the beginning slowly started to fade down, replaced by a feeling of calm and safety even if he still didn't want trust them as much as he had used to around two years ago.
The pain in his body also started to calm down and, in a matter of days, he was able to stand up on his own and walk around the room. It didn't disappear totally of course and every step was causing new bursts of throbbing, plus every time Castiel had to satisfy the needs of his digestion system it was like a torture all over again, but it still was way better than four days before.
The poor and unsubstantial food slowly started to turn into more rich and tasty. At the end of the fourth day Castiel had even been allowed to eat a piece of baked red meat, which seemed to him as the tastiest thing in the whole world one could try. The other morning he even found a piece of an apple pie on the night stand next to the bed left there by Dean. There weren't any identification, like a note, that it had been Dean who brought it of course, Castiel just knew it.
The apple pie tasted not as good as a piece of red meat, but it was the best thing in the world anyway, because Dean left it for him.
At the same time this piece of pie was like a single prove of the fact that Dean Winchester still existed in angel's life, because otherwise Castiel saw him so rarely that it seemed like Dean was trying to avoid him. To tell the truth, Castiel actually knew that it exactly was the reason, and to tell another truth it also was totally fine by the angel, because every time he appeared in the same room with Dean, he couldn't stop panicking. It was simply out of his control. Although even his panic was now more silent. He stopped to shake and try to run away every time the older Winchester was somewhere at his sight.
The nightmares were still visiting him every time he was falling asleep. First two nights Castiel had been waking up screaming and cowered in sweat, but later he learned to distinguish the dream from reality and even if the nightmares had been still waking him up in the middle of the night, he at least regained enough control not to end up waking up the other three cohabiters with his screams.
Castiel's nightmares had been absolutely same during those several days. It had always been the Leviathan doing all this things to the angel. Castiel dreamed about how they had moved from the dirty warehouse the next morning after they spent their first night together (it had been really a terrible experience, it hurtled very much and the whole Castiel's body had been aching for the next several days.) Then the fake Dean had repeated everything all over again, while being even rougher than the first time. They were traveling around the country for the whole month and the angel had no idea where exactly they were each time they had been stopping somewhere for the night.
Once the shorter man managed to run away, but his freedom was so short, that he even had no time to register the fact that he wasn't around his offender. The night after being found and recaptured had been the first time Castiel was beaten.
***
This night Castiel woke up not because of a nightmare but because he simply felt someone watching him. The angel opened his eyes and spotted a figure in the dark room sitting on the edge of his bed half lid with moonlight soaking through the window. Castiel was about to start panicking but he decided to calm himself down as the room he woke up was diffidently the one he had used to fall asleep for the last several days: it still was the same wooden cabin in the middle of a forest, so there shouldn't be anything that could harm him, or at least that was what he hoped for.
The figure had wide shoulders and short hair and most likely belonged to a man, whose face was still in the dark, but Castiel was able recognize this silhouette anywhere - it was Dean Winchester. The hunter was sitting on the edge of the bed and didn't move a single inch, like he didn't notice Castiel waking up.
"Dean?" Castiel called hesitatingly.
Dean turned his head and his face made into the moonlight lidding his exhausted features. The hunter looked calm and mostly emotionless which was very unusual for him.
"What are you doing here?" asked the angel, as he understood that Dean wasn't going to talk.
"Just tired of running." Dean said.
"What do you mean?" The angel inquired. "What are you running from?"
"You…" Dean simply answered, like it had to make everything clear.
"Me?"
"Yes."
Suddenly Dean moved closer to Castiel, placing his palm on angel's chest then he leaned forward and placed his lips on Castiel's, making the angel squint in surprise. The fake Dean had never kissed Castiel before, but this Dean wasn't kissing either. The layer of sharp teeth dag in the sensitive skin of Castiel lips making the angel taste blood in his mouth. The whole room started to shake and the terrible smell of fish and morass, the shorter man had already managed to forget, sank back into Castiel's nostrils.
"Had to do it from the very beginning," whispered Dean after they parted their lips, "had to simply eat you from the very beginning, not to waste my time on all this masquerades. But, at least you taste better right now." Dean concluded with a wide inhuman smile and rushed on top of the angel once again, tearing the flash of Castiel's vessel with his teeth.
***
A loud scream in the middle of the night made Dean jump from the couch he was sleeping on. It took him a whole minute to understand what was going on, but when he did, he rushed to the small bedroom where they left Castiel for the night, nearly knocking down Sam who was heading in the same direction.
"Cas!" He yelled bursting into the bedroom.
The angel seemed like he was still asleep, yelling out loud something incoherent and tumbling in the bed, pushing the blanket off himself with his legs. It was the first time for the last five days he woke up screaming and it suddenly frightened Dean a lot.
Without second thoughts, he dashed towards Castiel, grabbing him by shoulders "Wake up, Cas!" Dean ordered shaking his friends. The angel opened his eyes, but it made the whole situation even worse, as now he started to wriggle even more, trying to push the hunter away. "Cas!" Dean groaned and made several steps back, giving the angel time to recover from the nightmare he had probably had a moment ago.
Finally Castiel stopped screaming and looked over himself like he was trying to find something there then he fixed his gaze on two brothers. "Dean?" He surprised blinking and trying to catch his breath.
"Will you cover it?" The younger Winchester asked watching Castiel finally calming down.
"Yeah… yeah, Sammy, go to bed." Dean nodded.
Sam gave his brother an understanding look before going out from the room leaving Dean and Castiel alone and suddenly Dean realized that it was probably his mistake to send Sam away, as the situation became extremely awkward. Castiel of course stopped screaming, but the air of panic never casted out from his face. The angel was laying motionless on the bad looking at the hunter with terrified eyes, like Dean was about to kill the poor guy.
And it was after they had made those several steps, when Castiel was finally able to keep calm in Dean's presence. Now it looked like they returned on the stage one again. It also occurred to the hunter that it was going to be the first time since the day Dean rescued his friend when he would actually have to speak with him, as the whole that time he had preferred to avoid him.
"Cas, listen," Dean started, "I know it is difficult for you, but damn, I'm not in a much better position. Ok, well, may be in a better one, but still."
The angel was listening to him without replying anything. It really looked like the guy even wasn't sure what was going on around, like he suddenly forgot English and now was listening to some sort of gibberish out of Dean's month.
"Damn it, Cas!" Dean sighed. "What can I do, to make you believe that I'm real? That it wasn't me who has been around you this whole month, that's I'm not going to turn into a some sort of monster?"
"Can I smell you?"
"Because I really have no idea how to prove it to you!.. What?" Dean suddenly blurred hearing Castiel's request.
"Can I smell you?" The angel repeated slowly, making Dean fell into a some sort of stupor.
For a moment they were just staring at each-other not even breathing. Dean felt how the heart in his chest stared to beat faster, every beat echoed in his head like a drum. His mind was spinning fast, trying to understand the reason behind this weird request, because for some reasons it sounded like the dirtiest thing Dean had ever heard, like the angel suddenly asked him to do something extremely private and kinky Dean had never thought about before. Finally Dean was able to regain control over his body and reply something. He really expected that he would question the weird wish, but he found himself simply nodding.
"Ok…" he said and made a step forward.
Dean was able to see that with every step the angel looked more and more nervous and to tell the truth he felt exactly the same. It was even worse than that time when he had been dating a girl in one of his high schools and she had finally allowed Dean to touch her in intimate way for the first time.
Finally Dean came close enough to being able to bend over the bed of his friend. He couldn't stop himself but glancing on Castiel lips and the flashes of memories of what he had been doing with those lips in the police station, together with Dean's own fantasies suddenly started to invade hunter's mind. Dean closed his eyes trying to banish all this thoughts, but it didn't work. Several hot puffs of air on Dean's neck as Castiel was trying to sniff him didn't help this situation anyhow as angel's breath on Dean's skin only sent shivers over taller man's spine making the hair on the small of his back stand on end.
"Hmm…" Castiel finally exhaled against Dean's neck, sending another round of shivers through the whole Dean's body.
The hunter finally tore himself away from the bed, feeling as a huge wave of blush washed over him and settled somewhere around his face.
"So, what was that about?" Dean asked, trying to calm down his nerves.
Castiel this time surprisingly looked more relaxed than he was before, like he finally understood that Dean was telling the truth. Of course his tension never left him totally, but it was a great step already, greater than all other steps he had managed to do during those last days. The angel sighed in relief and this moment something like softened in his eyes. "Dean…" He said quietly, like he saw the hunter for the first time for ages.
Dean funnily exhaled the air he even didn't notice he was holding in his lungs. It still felt really awkward to be around his friend and Dean still wanted to run away and never return in this room, but if Castiel finally recognized him, it was a small price to pay with all this embarrassment.
"Yeah Cas, yeah…" Dean nodded. "It's me."
To be continued...
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