(no subject)
so i dont even know. this week has been so crazy. ive had so many things to do for classes(like 5 tests/quizzes, BIG lab report etc)I'm so glad its over...just too incredibly overwhelming....
on a side note...this is really random and came out of nowhere but Matt has been coming to mind an awful lot more lately than usual. up until probably about yesterday i could think of him and all the good times and not be upset about what happened. i thought i had healed...i thought i had healed a long time ago. in less than a month it will be the 1 year anniversary of his death. how crazy is that. 1 year already. it seems like it wasnt that long ago that he was pounding showtunes out on the piano so Cindy and I could have something to sing too during breaks in school. Time flies way too fast. it still bothers me that i hadnt spoken to him for a while before it happened. Thats mainly what keeps coming back. The feeling i had the day before he passed that i should call him to say hi, and the feeling i had when i answered my phone for the first time that day with a hysterical friend on the other side. I have no idea what is triggering these memories. Its not like always, just random times. I went to a movie today with Sarah and Corey and for some reason it popped nito my head toward the end of the movie. no reason. i dunno. i miss him. i never admitted to myself that it still hurt. I keep doing the "theres nothing you couldve done about it, let it be) speech in my head over and over but it doesnt work anymore. almost a year later and it still hurts. i think November 14th is going to be hell. but itll pass. just like every cloud over my life ever has done before.
on a side note...this is really random and came out of nowhere but Matt has been coming to mind an awful lot more lately than usual. up until probably about yesterday i could think of him and all the good times and not be upset about what happened. i thought i had healed...i thought i had healed a long time ago. in less than a month it will be the 1 year anniversary of his death. how crazy is that. 1 year already. it seems like it wasnt that long ago that he was pounding showtunes out on the piano so Cindy and I could have something to sing too during breaks in school. Time flies way too fast. it still bothers me that i hadnt spoken to him for a while before it happened. Thats mainly what keeps coming back. The feeling i had the day before he passed that i should call him to say hi, and the feeling i had when i answered my phone for the first time that day with a hysterical friend on the other side. I have no idea what is triggering these memories. Its not like always, just random times. I went to a movie today with Sarah and Corey and for some reason it popped nito my head toward the end of the movie. no reason. i dunno. i miss him. i never admitted to myself that it still hurt. I keep doing the "theres nothing you couldve done about it, let it be) speech in my head over and over but it doesnt work anymore. almost a year later and it still hurts. i think November 14th is going to be hell. but itll pass. just like every cloud over my life ever has done before.