(no subject)
Scene 1
(The stage is empty and lit up as the audience gets seated. The curtain is open. Once everyone is in their seat, the house lights go off. Two stage hands bring a couch onto the set and place it in the very center. During the next monologue the stage is set up by stage hands.)
Ethan: (offstage on Mic.) My whole life people have told me that I have to “live life to the fullest,” “live each day as though it were your last,” and my favorite “live the life you want.” You know what I say to all of that? Bullshit. Oh sure, it would be nice to live my life the way I want it, to live it to the fullest, or as though each day was my last. That would be lovely. But with the way the world runs nowadays, you’re lucky enough to be alive. People are so busy living to survive they don’t have the time to live each day as though it were their last. Sure when you’re a kid it’s so easy. “I am going to the best college money can buy. I am going to be an actor.” Kids are so stupid. They don’t realize that real life is a bitch. The truth is, you’re not going to the best college because your dad is a drunk and broke. An actor, please kid, you’re going to be working at a department store until the day you die.
(The stage is finally set up to look like a small apartment. There is a couch center stage, with two side tables on the sides of it. Stage left is a computer, on a desk, with a chair. Stage right is a door leading to the bathroom. Ethan walks on stage from left and sits at the computer. He starts typing and speaking.)
Ethan: And that is just the way life is. You have to deal with it. You have to live every day to survive your stupid, pathetic, boring life.
(Enter Kevin from left)
Kevin: Ethan, what are you doing? Are you typing at your stupid computer . . . again? Come on man, life is short and you need to LIVE it up. Lets go pick up some chicks.
Ethan: Kevin, you know as well as I do that you don’t pick up chicks . . . you are a chick.
Kevin: Those gay jokes need to stop my friend. I may not pick up chicks, no, but at least I am happy with whom I am. (Kevin Freezes)
Ethan: That’s my buddy Kevin. In case you couldn’t guess, he is gay. We grew up together, and even though he has had more play with women then any man I know, he has always been gay.
Ethan: (unfreeze) You met someone?
Kevin: He is so wonderful. He bumped into me at the bank. He asked me if he could borrow my pen. We are soul mates. Now come on, lets go find you one.
Ethan: I don’t want to go out.
Kevin: Come on, you big baby, get up and come out with me. What are you typing there . . . (he reads a bit of the screen) Stupid, pathetic, boring life? Ethan what is that?
Ethan: Don’t worry about it. (He closes computer top.) It’s nothing. I would thank you not to read my personal stuff, by the way.
Kevin: Ok Mr. Angry pants. Listen to me, you . . . don’t you go anywhere, we are going to a club. (Ethan gets up, about to walk to the couch, but Kevin grabs his arm.) Ethan, come on. You will never fulfill your stupid, pathetic, boring life if you don’t get out and have fun. Now, you’re coming right?
Ethan: All right, all right. Where are we going?
Kevin: This new hot, amazing-
Ethan: Straight?
Kevin: Yes, loser. We are going to this new, hot, amazing, STRAIGHT club they just built downtown. Now come on, lets go find you that soul mate.
(The stage hands come back on the stage and start removing the furniture, they start putting new furniture on the stage as Ethan gets up and walks stage right. He stands on the side of the stage. Lights dim. Spot light on him.)
Ethan: Something Kevin said to me that night really . . . really stuck. Soul mate. Soul mate. What the hell is a soul mate? The worst part was that he KNEW I didn’t believe in such a ridiculous idea. Someone who is perfect for JUST you, it doesn’t make sense. My mother used to tell me that there was someone out there for everyone. My grandmother told me on her deathbed that there is someone thinking about you when they go to bed at night. They just don’t know you yet. My grandmother was crazy. God rests her soul, but seriously. Also, the fact that Kevin JUST met this guy at the bank, and he already considers this guy his “soul mate” . . . it’s just insane. Anyway, besides that, Kevin has been trying to hook me up with girls for as long as I can remember. It’s never worked. He hooked me up with my senior prom date, Brenda Hull. I will never forget that date. It ended with punch all over her dress, her slapping me, and me getting piss ass drunk to forget the “date from hell.”I think there was a midget involved too . . . Anyway, the only reason it doesn’t work is because he doesn’t know what I like in a girl. I like . . . hell. I don’t even know what I like in a girl. But still . . . my soul mate? Hardly.
(The scene is now set up to look like a small bar. There is a bar Right stage, a place where people are dancing stage left, and center stage there is a few tables. Ethan is sitting there alone as Kevin is ordering drinks. Few people are dancing. A man and attractive women stand at the bar. Kevin walks over with two drinks.)
Kevin: Here you go, your usual, a beer. And I have the bullfrog
Both: With Balls.
Kevin: You know me well my friend...I love my balls.
Ethan: (shaking his head) I hate you.
Kevin: I know. Hey, check out that hottie at the bar. Very good looking, right?
Ethan: She is with someone.
Kevin: Damn, you’re right. I didn’t think of that. He is gay num nuts.
Ethan: Don’t call me that. Besides, he isn’t gay.
Kevin: Oh, yes he is.
Ethan: How do you know?
Kevin: I can tell. You see how when she leans in he leans away. He isn’t touching her, and if I had a girl like that, I would definitely be touching her.
Ethan: No, you wouldn’t, you would be touching him.
Kevin: Which is, ironically, how I know he is gay.
Ethan: What?
Kevin: I slept with him last week. Now go talk to her.
Ethan: You are such a man whore.
Kevin: And you’re my pimp.(Imitating a young, sultry women) Spank me big daddy.
Ethan: Ew. Where do you come up with these things?
Kevin: I’ve been around the block. You are avoiding the subject here buddy, get your straight ass up and go talk to that girl.
Ethan: She...eh...she wouldn’t like me. Can’t you and I just hang out? Like we used to?
Kevin: As much as I know you love pretending to be my boyfriend, if you don’t get over there I will get her over here.
Ethan: I don’t want to Kevin. I just wanna hang out tonight, drink a few beers, go home and go to bed.
Kevin: Go home and type on your computer you mean. Now GO (He pushes Ethan toward the girl)
Ethan: (He bumps into the girl, she spills her drink on herself) Oh my God. I am so sorry.
Girl: Oh, no, its ok.
Ethan: I am so sorry...I apologize, my friend...
Girl: Its ok, really.
Ethan: (He looks up at her eyes) Um..hi. I’m Ethan.
Girl: My name is Sara
Ethan: (Grabbing napkins) Let me help you clean that off.(Starts wiping at her chest.)
Sara: Whoa, slow down there Tiger. You gonna make me breakfast in the morning?
Ethan: (Stopping, very embarrassed) Oh no, I was just...I just wanted to...I just...sorry.
Sara: Its ok. Who is your friend? (Gesturing to Kevin)
Ethan: Who?
Kevin: Me, jerk. Just met a pretty girl and you already forget your best friend.
Ethan: Oh, um, sorry. Sara this is Kevin, Kevin Sara.
Sara: Thanks for pushing him over this way, Kevin, I was waiting for him to get up and talk to me.
Kevin: No problem. (Gestures to Sara’s friend, who is facing the bar, talking to the bartender) Who is your friend? He seems familiar.
Sara: This is Andrew, he is a little on the gay side.
Kevin: A little? Hey Andrew.
Andrew: Hey, uh, Kevin. How are ya?
Kevin: Hey Andy, how you been? Remember the other night? (He gets closer)
Andrew: Sara I gotta go. (He grabs Kevin and starts to rush off stage)
Kevin: Bye (Gets pulled away.)
Sara: (laughing) I think its funny how gay guys can hook up so fast.
Kevin: Yeah...especially because Kevin claimed he met his soul mate earlier today. (He smiles at Sara) You wanna...you wanna get out of here? Maybe, go back to my place? Just...just to talk. Hah, none of that rough, tough, crazy stuff, nope just talking.
Sara: (She smiles back) You talk too much. Lets go.
(The lights go off as Ethan steps off Left. A spot light goes on him. Stage hands start removing stage pieces.)
End of Scene 1
Scene 2
Ethan: I never thought Kevin would get anything right. I mean, how did he know Sara and I would click? Granted at first I didn’t think anything of her, sure she was pretty, but that’s all I thought of her at first glance, but, when I was looking in her eyes, all I could think about was her...I had all these questions I wanted to ask her. Who is she as a person? What attracted her to me? Why was she at a straight club with a gay man...I could probably answer that one. But the thing I loved most about Sara...she was her own person. She didn’t try to be someone she wasn’t, she was...she was alive. She was incredible. We really hit it off, her and I. Sure, I was awkward at the beginning, but we walked to my apartment, talking the whole way. I don’t think there was one silent moment in our conversation. 10 blocks of pure, hardcore conversation. It was amazing. The best thing about the night, we still had things to talk about when we got back to my place.
(Ethan’s apartment is set up once again. Sara is seated at the couch, Ethan joins her as the lights go up. They start talking as though it were the middle of the conversation.)
Sara: And then my dad told me “If you don’t go to college now, you go never.”
Ethan: (smiles) That’s really unfair.
Sara: That’s what I said. He just turned around and said “I have always wanted to go to college, this is a special opportunity”I never really had the desire to go to school and besides, life is too short to waste your time with something like college.
Ethan: Well, not really. College helps prepare you for your future. Helps you get a good job to survive. At least that’s what I’ve heard. I mean its gotta be true, right? That’s why we are here, to survive.
Sara: Ethan, you can survive without ‘College’. As long as you’re happy with yourself and your life you will survive. Live life to the fullest, that’s my motto.
Ethan: How do you even have time to have a life? Im so busy trying to survive I have no time to ‘live life to the fullest’. Its all a bunch of hype anyway.
Sara: No, I don’t think so Ethan. My grandma, she died of a massive heart attack.
Ethan: Sorry.
Sara: No, its ok. It was like...forever ago. I was about seven. Anyway, she told me never to regret anything in life...and to live my life the way I wanted too. She said she lived a long, pointless life because she never did what she wanted to, she always lived to survive. She wanted to sky dive, she wanted to swim with the sharks, and a whole bunch of stuff. But her life got cut short. Ever since then I have tried to live my life each day as though it were my last. I have done a lot of stuff, and there is even more that I want to do.
Ethan: My grandma tried to tell me the same thing, that and that there is such a thing as soul mates when she died. I didn’t listen though, besides, she was crazy.
Sara: Not as crazy as you think. You know, you’re really cute. Come here.
(She leans in, grabs his shirt, and kisses him on the lips. They continue to kiss until the lights go down. Ethan gets up and walks to his spot on Right Stage, he gets spotted.)
Ethan: Wow, ya know? Sara is just...she is so great. Oh, by the way, we didn’t do what you think we did, we only kissed a bit, then she had to go home. I couldn’t believe it, though, this girl steps into my life, and tries to change my whole perspective on things. Live life to the fullest blah blah blah. What a load of crap. I couldn’t understand how a girl so beautiful, so amazing, could believe in such a ridiculous idea. She invited me to go out with her the next day. First we would get some breakfast, then we would go do some fun, crazy stuff. It was a day she planned. I told her I had to work, but she begged me to come. She wanted me to call into work, I didn’t want to, but looking into her eyes, I told her I would in the morning. See, I didn’t even have to work, I just told her I did so I didn’t have to go out. There was something about her, though, that I couldn’t understand. She made me...want to do things...want to be happy.
(The stage hands come out and stage during this monologue, they remove his apartment from the stage. They set up the looks of a small restaurant, Ethan looks very tired, very out of it. Sara looks just as beautiful as always. They sit at a table, there are few others around them.)
Sara: Hey, wake up sleepy head.
Ethan: Sorry, Im...Im not a morning person. Where is the waitress, I could go for some coffee?
Sara: Calm down crabby pants. Here she comes now.(The waitress walks up to the table.)
Waitress: What can I get ya?
Ethan: Coffee, please, and lots of it. Black.
Sara: I will have some eggs...no maybe some french toast...
Ethan: How about this, I will get the eggs, and then you can get the French Toast, and then we will split it?
Sara: Aw, you’re so nice.
Waitress: They always are. That will be right up.
Sara: So, tell me about yourself, I want to know Ethan inside and out.
Ethan: There isn’t that much to tell really. My name is Ethan Trabble, I grew up in a small town in Michigan called New Baltimore. I have a dad, Jonathon, a mother, Katy, and an older brother, Jack. I moved out to New York to ‘follow my dream’, you know, whatever that means. See, I had this preconceived notion that I could be a professional writer. Yeah, that was a bad dream to have.
Sara: Why?
Ethan: You can’t make a living being a writer. I work at a department store selling second rate electronic devices. (The waitress brings the food) thanks. Well, there you go, That’s Ethan in a nutshell. How about you? Lets hear about Sara.
Sara: Well, my name is Sara Jennings. I was born to Hal and Carol Jennings on April 7, 1986. My grandmother, Sara, we had the same name. Anyway, she was my biggest inspiration and because of her, I have decided to follow my dream of being a skydiving instructor. Its pretty fun. I get paid a decent salary, I meet a lot of interesting people, and I get to sky dive whenever I want. Isn’t that awesome?
Ethan: (Looking into her eyes, smiling) Yeah...yeah it is.(Lights go off, stage hands come on, Ethan steps to the right Proscenium)
Ethan: I have never lived in the moment, ever. Here she was, pretty much telling me the same thing everyone had been telling me my whole life, and oddly enough, when she says it, it sticks. Its crazy how that one, special person can come into your life and change everything. Sara she is something so special. She knew how to have a great time, she knew how to live her life, but most importantly, she knew how to really reach me. Suddenly, everything that I once believed had changed. Suddenly, I was living in the moment. I didn’t care about my two bit job, I didn’t care about trying to survive, I didn’t even care about calling my mother every Sunday to tell her how I am doing but finally, finally I was having fun. I was finally living my life the way I wanted to. It was amazing, and it was all because of her. We started hanging out more and more after that moment. We did everything together. She was great, she was...she was my soul mate. Then...then something terrible happened.
(The scene is set to look like a park, a bench is center stage, trees up on either sides of the stage. Kevin walks in on his cell phone. The lights are dim, signifying that it is dark.)
Kevin: Where the hell are you Ethan. Oh, you went bungee jumping with Sara? We were supposed to have our annual dinner tonight, every first of the month, remember? No Ethan, this is important to me. What? How can you say that? You should be here, I thought you were my best friend. No
(During the next lines, two men walk up from behind Kevin.)
Kevin: Go play with my boyfriend? Oh That’s real mature Ethan. What-
(The men take the cell phone and hang it up.)
Man 1: Hey there faggot.
Man 2: Whachya doin’ out by yerself?
Kevin: Nothing, just...walking. (He tries to walk past, Man 2 puts his hand on Kevin’s chest and pushes him back.)
Man 2: Where’s yer boyfriend?
Man 1: Yeah fairy boy, where’s da boyfriend?
(They start pushing him around. He pleads for them to stop, but they keep teasing and pushing. Finally, Kevin takes a swing and hits man 2 in the face. He steps back, grabs his nose, and looks at Kevin angrily. Kevin runs off Right stage as man 1 and 2 chase him. After a minute or two Ethan and Sara walk on Left stage, laughing.)
Sara: That was so much fun.
Ethan: Yeah, I have never been bun- (He stops and looks at the ground. He bends and picks up Kevin’s cell phone.) Kevin...(He glances off right stage and gets a look of horror.) HEY, HEY LEAVE HIM ALONE (He runs off right stage with Sara shortly behind him. Blackout. Stage hands come out and start taking the set off. They start putting up Ethan’s apartment. During this, Ethan walks Right stage as a spotlight comes up on him.)
Ethan: And just like that my life was changed again. If I had not been living in the moment...I would have been there for Kevin. My best friend of...forever. If I could have just been there for our annual dinner. It was important to him...it was important to me too. But for some reason...I thought being with Sara was more important. I could have been there. They beat him until he was bleeding. They beat him until he couldn’t beg of them to stop. They had no mercy. And why? Not for his money, not because he insulted one of them...but because he was gay. After I yelled, they ran away. Damn it what is this world coming to? Because he is gay, two fuckers on the street beat him to a pulp. I held my best friend in my arms...he was barely breathing. If I were there...I could have stopped it. He would have had a fighting chance...its all my fault.
Sara: (She has entered and she is standing left stage. Spot on her. They both look out at the audience.) No, its not. Its not your fault Ethan, stop blaming yourself.
Ethan: Yes it is. We always have dinner on the first of the month and I wasn’t there. I could’ve stopped it. But no, I was bungee jumping...with you.
Sara: What...what do you mean?
Ethan: I mean its your fault I wasn’t there Sara. You convinced me my life was pointless and needed some excitement. I never want to see you again.
Sara: How can you say that?
Ethan: We’re over.
(Ethan walks off stage, his spot goes off. Sara waits a few moments then exits herself. The curtain closes)
End of Scene 2
SCENE 3
(Ethan walks out on stage, its empty. He walks Right Stage and stands. A spot light comes up on him.)
Ethan: I ended it with Sara. It was for the better. She ruined everything. She came in and made me change my life. She changed what I had going. I may not have been the happiest person in the world, but damn it I wasn’t sad. I was alive and that was good enough for me. It was her fault that Kevin got hurt. She said I couldn’t blame myself, and, well, I didn’t...I blamed her.
Kevin: (o Effstage. A beep is heard, Kevin starts talking.) Ethan...its Kevin. I suppose you had a good reason for not coming to visit me in the hospital. Um, I don’t know. I would like to talk to you. You can...you can call me back. I guess I will talk to you later. Bye.
Ethan: Ok so maybe I still felt a little guilty. But hey, I had a lot of things to do. I had picked up extra hours at work to keep my mind off of everything. And I was saving up for a trip to go visit my parents in Michigan. My dad just got laied off from his job at Chrysler, they couldn’t help me pay. And hey, I was responsible for the lucheon at work in three weeks. I had to save up and prepare. I didn’t have time. Who was I kidding? I didn’t even believe myself. I was just so scared. Scared that Kevin would hate me. I had been friends with him since I was a little boy. We have been friends for as long as I can remember. The worst part was that he had ALWAYS been there for me. I guess I just felt...guilty. Work helped numb the feeling though.
(The scene is set to look like a shabby department store. There are shelves, tv’s, everything a store needs. Ethan walks up and puts on a red smock. He grabs a pricing gun from a nearby counter and starts pricing items. Martha, an old, bitter women walks on from stage left. She walks up to Ethan, pushing a grocery cart, and bumps it right into him.)
Martha: Excuse me young lady, but can you tell me where the tampons are?
Ethan: Um, I am sorry. I am a guy. The tampons are in isle three.
Martha: Im sorry young lady you have to speak up. I AM A LITTLE DEAF!
Ethan: (He starts quite but then begins to shout.) I...I said I am a guy. Tampons are in ai-
Martha: You don’t have to shout sweetheart. I am not deaf.
Ethan: But you just said-
Martha: Listen up (she looks at the name tag on his smock) Ethel. I don’t need any lip from you. With your short hair and manly physique. You lesbians drive me crazy. Listen, I just want a television. I need it to be exactly 16 in a half inches.
Ethan: Ma’am, I am not a women. My name is Ethan...not Ethel.
Martha: Shut up and get me my Television women!
Ethan: We don’t have any Televisions with that exact specification. We have 16 in televisions and 17 in. Televisions. You need to pick one of those. (His voice gets louder, he gets angrier.) AND I AM NOT A WOMEN! NOW I WILL GET YOU A TV, BUT YOU NEED TO PICK ONE WE HAVE YOU OLD BITCH!
(The store manager walks up from behind Ethan and grabs his shoulder.)
Manager: Excuse us, ma’am. Ethan, my office, now!
(As Ethan walks off the stage, Kevin enters opposite. He looks around, looking for Ethan. He sees him exit the stage, in his managers hands, he then turns to Martha.)
Kevin: What...what happened to him.
Martha: I don’t talk to queens. Sorry sinner. (She walks offstage)
Kevin: Oh yeah, well at least I’m not an old bitty like yourself.
Ethan: Hey, Kevin. It, it doesn’t do any good to yell at her. She comes in here every Sunday and yells at me. I get my weekly talk from the boss, and, well, I get to go back to work. Boy I just wish they would fire me, am I right? (He begins to fake laugh. He sees Kevin isn’t laughing, so he stops.) Listen Kev,
Kevin: Don’t you Kev me. Why the hell haven’t you answered my phone calls man? Where the hell were you when I was in the hospital? I mean what the fuck man? First of all you weren’t there for me when I was getting my ass beat by two prejudiced brutes, and then you couldn’t be there when I was unconscious in the hospital for three days, or the four days after that I had to stay there.
Ethan: (in an attempt to lie) Actually, I was there when you were unconscious.
Kevin: Shut up Ethan. I asked the nurses. You know...I don’t get you. All I wanted was a friend. You’re not a friend though.
Ethan: I was (he stops and takes a breath) I was busy ok. Its...its been really hard to get a day off here. I mean, they practically have me running the place you know. It’s really stressful. Plus, you have people like Martha trying to make your life a living hell, you know? Its just...its been hard.
Kevin: Well, sorry I can’t be there for you. You know Ethan...you’re no better then those two in the park. (He starts to turn, but then turns back.) No, you’re actually worse.
(Kevin turns and walks away. Ethan stands there, watching him go. Martha walks up and jabs her cart into his backend.)
Martha: Get out of the way Ethel.
(The lights dim as the stagehands come on and start taking the set pieces off. Ethan walks to the left side.)
Ethan: I really am a failure, huh? I mean I couldn’t even be there for my best friend when he really needed me. What is wrong with me? Why couldn’t I tell him...why couldn’t I tell him that I was just afraid. I...it was my fault he was like that, you know...I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I have to get away. I have to go somewhere. I am leaving. You hear me...? I am leaving. (Ethan exits the stage, slowly but surely Sara enters. She is dressed as she was when we first saw her at the club. She is smiling and seems to be a little drunk.)
Sara: I’ve met the most wonderful guy tonight. It all started when I decided to go to this club with my friend Andrew. Andrew is gay, but I have known him all my life, he is certainly my best friend. Anyway, I was standing at the bar with Andrew when I saw these two guys come in. Andrew immediatly turned away.
(The scene is set up to look like the club scene from before. Sara and Andrew stand at the bar, Ethan and Kevin, are walking up to their table.)
Andrew: (Turning away from Kevin and Ethan, embarrased.) Oh my God.
Sara: What? (She looks and sees Kevin and Ethan just as they sit down. She smiles at Ethan, he looks away quickly.) Wow, he is cute. Why are you acting so crazy?
Andrew: That guy. (He quickly points) I, uh, I had relations with him.
Sara: (With a big smile, almost laughing) Oh my God. You are such a whore. That’s why I could never be a gay man, I need to have morals and boundries and that one special person.
Andrew: (Now looking offended) Excuse me little missy. I have morals and boundaries also, and I really liked him. But its hard for us...cause what if the other is just a whore?
Sara: You don’t make any sense, oh, he is coming over here, shh.
Kevin: (Who has just walked up to the bar, winks at Andrew) Can I have one beer and a bullfrog with balls please. (He waits for a moment, the drinks are handed to him and he walks back to his table, this time winking at Sara)
Sara: Well, at least he is a looker Andrew. That last guy you were with was uglier than-
Andrew: Do you have to be shallow?
Sara: Sorry, I am just trying to talk gay talk.
Andrew: You have known me all my life. Do I talk like that?
Sara: I’m just messing with you, calm down. Plus, I am kinda interested in his friend. (Just then Ethan bumps into her and she spills her drink on herself.)
Ethan: Oh my God. I am so sorry.
Sara: Oh, no, its ok.
Ethan: I am so sorry...I apologize, my friend...
Sara: Its ok, really.
Ethan: (He looks up at her eyes) Um..hi. I’m Ethan.
Sara: My name is Sara