Observations on height, mates, blowing people up, torture and apples

Jan 08, 2009 20:09

On Ghost Hunters a witness  claims "The apparition was really tall. I mean like 6' tall!"

I'm 5'10" so 6' sounds only minimally tall. Tall is when you need vaulted ceilings to stand fully upright. After a wikipedia search on human height, I learned the average height of "all american" men is 5'9". Three more inches and they'd be really tall.

Curious as to whereI should look for a mate taller than me, I must head out to a mountain chain called the Dinaric Alps. This sounds as appealing as swimming naked in a pool of whirling, sharp razorblades. The wikipedia article says it all, though: "The Dinaric Alps were thrown up". Who wants to find a mate in upchuck? That leaves me with Denmark and Norway. Also cold. Also not happening.

If I was looking for a female mate, I'd be pretty much screwed. I'd have to find another outlier like myself (okay, I'm not really an outlier but isn't there some new book by Gladwell about the awesomeness of outliers? So maybe I want to be awesome and outlierly).

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My other observations:
- I know it's more complex than this but I feel that Israel and Hamas need to grow up and stop blowing each other up. Their goal should be to be as tall as the Dinaric Alps, or at least their menfolk.
- I would like commentators and "experts" to stop saying stupid stuff like this: "Yes, it was just like torture" or "Some of the practices, those forceful techniques, are very similar to torture" or "Some might liken waterboarding to torture". When I see an apple, I do not say "That rotund shaped object resembles an apple" or "That looks strikingly similar to an apple" or "That fruit is like an apple". I call it a fucking apple. (Well, I generally call it an apple not one that engages in copulation. Which it wouldn't. Because it's an apple, you see. ) Yes I just used a metaphor to condemn a simile. Take that, like or as!

random thought

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