no title could describe how i feel
.. I lost my baby on Oct. 4th.
For the ones who could get confused, no, I did not lose a child, but I lost a creature so precious and vital to me as a child could have been. (click)
I'm talking about my kitty, my Shanon.
Whatever was down on me for the bast 17 months, I got over it alongside with her.
She was an animal, I know. But to me she so much more..
She was so loved.. soooo loved.
It's unfair actually. I was playing with her at 3am, and at 7.30am I found her cold, dead, hidden and in a position showing she was cold.
For a few seconds all I could hear was voices screaming, refusing to believe that the unmoving thing in front of me was my little princess lying dead. Moments later I realized it was me the one screaming.
Food poisoning I was told, but no matter what caused this to my beauty the fact she's no longer here waiting for me to come back home doesn't change. I was used to wake up and go to sleep next to her or by her and her puring.
Days seem dull anymore.. Can't drink, can't eat, can't genuinely laugh.
I'll always love her.
I'll always remember her green to orange little eyes looking straight into mine, her scratchy nails playing with my fingers, her warm and white belly waiting for my hand, her tail going back and forth everytime I would piss her off, her complaing moew asking for me to open a door for her, her attempts to open a door by herself simply by hanging by the handle, her little paws making a pump-pump-pump sound everytime she'd go down the stairs on a hurry to eat after her 8 hours long sleep, her posing while eating, her begging to eat my food, her denyal on leaving me alone finish my projects or allow me to write anything down while she'd be around requiring my attention, her way into playing around and adoring to smell dirty clothes..
My little girl....
My little monster who could make me smile my worries away..
She's gone.
29 june 2011 @ 05:21 am WTF, BRAIN? .... The only good part of my life at this very moment is the fact that Shanon -yes, my kitty I'm obsessed with- is cuddling and sleeping on my legs ♥......
17 june 2011 @ 11:56 pm Life goes on. ...here I'm studying Maths for my exams and she was there to make me feel better. I don't know how she does that. Whenever I feel sad, or angry, or stressed, or depressed or anything she just makes me feels better and meows to me and acts like a real baby! Just by holding her, I can feel myself calming down... !
...And I'm studying for my Essay lesson of exams, she just went there and sat on my notes like nothing happens :3...
...I don't wanna talk shit, but there are times I swear there's a special communication between us, like this morning, when I woke up and she also woke up (one of the times I woke up and find her sleeping besides/on me ^^") and she started doing this "grrrrrrr" the cats make whenever they feel delighted (sorry dunno how to say it in english) and she approached me and started rubbing her nose to mine ;~; And the look in her eyes was so.. humanish? ....
