Title: Mistaken Identity
Author:
rin_no_himitsuRating: PG-13 (T)
Genre: Angst, Tragedy, Psychological
I used to be the happiest, most cheerful girl in the world. I was obedient, did well in school, and kind to everyone.
When people ask me what changed, I tell them the same thing every time.
“I just stopped pretending.”
---
Lately, it’s been getting worse. That voice in my head has gotten louder.
“Who are you, now that you’ve abandoned the ‘you’ of the past?”
I used to have “friends”. They loved the other me; the “me” that would agree with whatever they said, and do whatever they asked.
My father, kicked out of the house when I was a mere child, spends his days alone in his apartment. My mother, who can barely be given such a title, is never home; she works tireless hours trying to make sure our family has a good life.
Sometimes I wonder if it would’ve been better if I kept pretending. Would I learn to laugh, learn to cry, learn what it was like to love and be loved? Would the light that used to be in my eyes return?
Or would it just bring back the misery I worked so hard to get away from?
---
“What made you become this way?”
I don’t know. Or maybe you’d like a textbook answer.
“It was due to the influences of my friends and family.”
I guess that’s true, in a way.
---
Human beings crave love. It is one of the basic necessities of life.
They loved the other me. The one who didn’t cause any trouble. The one who only showed her true feelings when she was alone.
I remember when my mother found me crying in my room.
“What’s wrong? You were always so happy!”
After that, I refused to accept her as a mother. I started to distance myself from my so-called friends and family.
---
I was walking home from school. I always took the path through the forest. No one went there. I was passing over the bridge when I heard the voice again. It’s gotten so loud that I can’t block it out anymore.
“Who are you?”
I am me.
“Who is ‘me’?”
I am “me”. Don’t you understand that?
“Who is ‘me’?”
I am “me”! If I am not “me”, then who am I?
I am…
I am nothing; a mere empty, hollow shell. I cannot love, and I am not loved. I feel no more emotions. I have no personality. I can barely be called a human being.
Who am I?
I looked over the bridge, into the water. Could it be that, after I eliminated the fake “me”, I was no longer
“me”? The “me” from before no longer exists.
My reflection stared back at me from the water.
See? I’m right there, in the water! Reaching out, I tried to take hold of myself.
I am me…
---
Police Report: 29/10/20XX. A teenage girl’s body is found in the lake in the nearby forest. It appears to have been a suicide.