Look Out! It's...THE SCHMOOZE!
v. intr. To converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.
The more entries that I write, the more I realize how bad television and worse movies have warped my psyche.
Sheesh, and you STILL clicked. Is there a history of masochism in your family?
I intended to write a serious entry about my internal discomfort with the above definition, pointing out the necessary pros and cons of socializing for benefit and networking for the poor student. Instead, I could not resist painting the image of a giant, slimy, plaid coat wearing monster genuflecting before a bored Godzilla.
"You breathe fire? I can completely relate. My Grandmother suffered from Halitosis, which is practically the same thing. Whups...I dropped my CV. Hey, since it's out, would you mind writing me a reference?"
BLAAAAARG!
"No worries, it's inflammable! D'you need a pen?"
*Shrugs* Eh, better to be weird than bored, I s'pose.
This weekend was the Rural Interest Group field trip. We visited Neepawa, Minnedosa and Brandon. It was actually a pretty good time. We regressed to the age of twelve on the bus of course, but beyond that we were fed, shuttled around, and offerred some rings from the lovely Mr. Sauron offered three different spiels as to why each of the towns/hospitals/activities would be the best fit for our future graduated selves. The people were great, the food was delicious and copious, and the towns were very perty, albeit somewhat frozen under the -50 weather. (But it's a DRY cold!)
The only uncomfortable spot was the "meat and greet" on the Friday. Oh, and that wasn't a typo. We basically piled into the community hall, sat through a presentation or two, and then had to walk around, talking to anyone who caught our eye and beelined towards us.
Now, the reason they have us do this is multiple-fold. Primarily, I imagine that it has the innocuous task of getting us a true insider's view on the workings of the town, and the dynamics within. I had no problem with this, as one-on-one conversation is definitely the best way to get the down-low on what's real...dawgs.
But the problem was the underlying feeling that the whole purpose of the event was to forge connections. From the side of the town, I understand that they knew that if they impressed us sufficiently with their tour and their (admittedly charming) denizens, there was a very good likelihood that we would return and provide a service that is sadly pretty lacking in the rural areas. There was no stink of desperation or anything, but there was a single-minded purposefulness in the way the pharmacists, doctors, chiropractors and teachers would stroll over to talk to you was somewhat disconcerting. Once I was engaged in conversation it was fine, but the straight lines some people made for you once the former conversations were done were very sharp and very direct.
Now, I don't want to make it sound like the towns were anything other than charming, because they were great. I think my biggest problem with it was the fact that the other reason for the event was so that WE could forge some connections as well. And I do not like to schmooze. I tend to be pretty good at it, but it makes my stomach roll. I even hate asking people to be a contact on my applications. I feel like I'm manipulating people, and puts a little label above their heads that say things like "Good contact for residency" or "has a brother who heads a prestigious program" or even "may prove a beneficial person to know in the next ten years."
The thing is, my usual labels are things like "Does an excellent Samuel L. Jackson impression" or "Appreciates a good Kids in the Hall sketch" or even "Thinks Science Fiction is too geeky...ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!" But I don't like purposefully meeting people solely for what they could do for me later.
Which is a bit of a problem, because to get a good placement after school, you have to know people. Sure, there's about one residency spot per graduate, but there's also about five residency positions in Canada per two years of graduates (average class size 100, and 17 accredited schools). Not that I want to go into dermatology, but...WHAT IF I CHANGE MY MIND!
*Hyperventilates*
*Changes Mind and Returns To Normal Breathing, Cause If There's One Think I Know, It's That Dermatology And Me Would Not Be A Good Fit.*
The point is that it's your contacts that can make/break your placement, and since I hate making contacts there is the slight possibility that I might have to be a celebrityologist (you know, checking Paris Hilton's boils, looking for Tom Cruise's misplaced sanity, the usual) and then I would have to take up drinking, and go into a downward spiral that might end up with me in politics. (This may not seem so bad to you, but it is actually encapsulates the broiling fires of Hell for me. Because politicians SCHMOOZE ALL THE TIME!)
I guess it's a skill that I'll have to develop, but I have to say, it would be way easier if they would just evaluate us by Mind Meld. That way, you would either immediately get in...or you would get a neck pinch. Or possibly make out with Kirk.
Just, for the love of GOD! Do not come to the interview with a red shirt. Remember, you want to be a doctor, not alien poo.*
*Please note that this is a generalization. If you DO want to be alien poo, I am not disparaging your choice. I support alien poo people in all their glory. Soooo, do you poos give references?
That's it for now, Space Cowboys. Remember, House is in his skivvies tomorrow, so don't forget to replace your pause/rewind buttons before Eight O'clock Central Time!
The more entries that I write, the more I realize how bad television and worse movies have warped my psyche.
Sheesh, and you STILL clicked. Is there a history of masochism in your family?
I intended to write a serious entry about my internal discomfort with the above definition, pointing out the necessary pros and cons of socializing for benefit and networking for the poor student. Instead, I could not resist painting the image of a giant, slimy, plaid coat wearing monster genuflecting before a bored Godzilla.
"You breathe fire? I can completely relate. My Grandmother suffered from Halitosis, which is practically the same thing. Whups...I dropped my CV. Hey, since it's out, would you mind writing me a reference?"
BLAAAAARG!
"No worries, it's inflammable! D'you need a pen?"
*Shrugs* Eh, better to be weird than bored, I s'pose.
This weekend was the Rural Interest Group field trip. We visited Neepawa, Minnedosa and Brandon. It was actually a pretty good time. We regressed to the age of twelve on the bus of course, but beyond that we were fed, shuttled around, and offerred some rings from the lovely Mr. Sauron offered three different spiels as to why each of the towns/hospitals/activities would be the best fit for our future graduated selves. The people were great, the food was delicious and copious, and the towns were very perty, albeit somewhat frozen under the -50 weather. (But it's a DRY cold!)
The only uncomfortable spot was the "meat and greet" on the Friday. Oh, and that wasn't a typo. We basically piled into the community hall, sat through a presentation or two, and then had to walk around, talking to anyone who caught our eye and beelined towards us.
Now, the reason they have us do this is multiple-fold. Primarily, I imagine that it has the innocuous task of getting us a true insider's view on the workings of the town, and the dynamics within. I had no problem with this, as one-on-one conversation is definitely the best way to get the down-low on what's real...dawgs.
But the problem was the underlying feeling that the whole purpose of the event was to forge connections. From the side of the town, I understand that they knew that if they impressed us sufficiently with their tour and their (admittedly charming) denizens, there was a very good likelihood that we would return and provide a service that is sadly pretty lacking in the rural areas. There was no stink of desperation or anything, but there was a single-minded purposefulness in the way the pharmacists, doctors, chiropractors and teachers would stroll over to talk to you was somewhat disconcerting. Once I was engaged in conversation it was fine, but the straight lines some people made for you once the former conversations were done were very sharp and very direct.
Now, I don't want to make it sound like the towns were anything other than charming, because they were great. I think my biggest problem with it was the fact that the other reason for the event was so that WE could forge some connections as well. And I do not like to schmooze. I tend to be pretty good at it, but it makes my stomach roll. I even hate asking people to be a contact on my applications. I feel like I'm manipulating people, and puts a little label above their heads that say things like "Good contact for residency" or "has a brother who heads a prestigious program" or even "may prove a beneficial person to know in the next ten years."
The thing is, my usual labels are things like "Does an excellent Samuel L. Jackson impression" or "Appreciates a good Kids in the Hall sketch" or even "Thinks Science Fiction is too geeky...ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!" But I don't like purposefully meeting people solely for what they could do for me later.
Which is a bit of a problem, because to get a good placement after school, you have to know people. Sure, there's about one residency spot per graduate, but there's also about five residency positions in Canada per two years of graduates (average class size 100, and 17 accredited schools). Not that I want to go into dermatology, but...WHAT IF I CHANGE MY MIND!
*Hyperventilates*
*Changes Mind and Returns To Normal Breathing, Cause If There's One Think I Know, It's That Dermatology And Me Would Not Be A Good Fit.*
The point is that it's your contacts that can make/break your placement, and since I hate making contacts there is the slight possibility that I might have to be a celebrityologist (you know, checking Paris Hilton's boils, looking for Tom Cruise's misplaced sanity, the usual) and then I would have to take up drinking, and go into a downward spiral that might end up with me in politics. (This may not seem so bad to you, but it is actually encapsulates the broiling fires of Hell for me. Because politicians SCHMOOZE ALL THE TIME!)
I guess it's a skill that I'll have to develop, but I have to say, it would be way easier if they would just evaluate us by Mind Meld. That way, you would either immediately get in...or you would get a neck pinch. Or possibly make out with Kirk.
Just, for the love of GOD! Do not come to the interview with a red shirt. Remember, you want to be a doctor, not alien poo.*
*Please note that this is a generalization. If you DO want to be alien poo, I am not disparaging your choice. I support alien poo people in all their glory. Soooo, do you poos give references?
That's it for now, Space Cowboys. Remember, House is in his skivvies tomorrow, so don't forget to replace your pause/rewind buttons before Eight O'clock Central Time!