The Niceness Conundrum
I do not consider myself to be an exceptionally nice person. In reality, I hate the word nice; it implies that one does kind things simply to be considered nice; as if this is an attractive quality.
I am not nice.
I am considerate; i take other peoples needs, wants and isms into consideration before I act. If i go to the store, i bring home a drink for my roommate. I do small things to make people feel welcome. When feasible, i make an attempt to let my housemates know where i am and when i intend to return. I do not do these things so people will like me, or so they will think that i am nice. I do it for two reasons - the first being that these are all things i would appreciate someone doing for me, and the second is much less flattering. If i am consistently considerate of other peoples feelings and needs, then if i ever request that they act the same way and they fail to do so, I have the right to argue with them about it and not be hypocritical.
Because I am not nice.
People mistake me for being nice because I will do them favours without needing immediate repayment. This is not out of kindness, it is because i am storing up favours for some potential but not inevitable future in which i may need a favour.
I'm also kind of a bitch; I judge people, I make unkind assumptions, I do not expect the best from people and I assume that others will disappoint me.
Now i don't know if this makes me a bad person. I don't know if it's some secret indicator of a psychological issue that I havn't yet identified. Or maybe i'm just realistic.
In other news:
Everything is sad. Everything is hard and stupid and unavoidable. I feel like three months ago the same things that made me happy and content are now making me sad and pathetic. I do not like this.
I am not nice.
I am considerate; i take other peoples needs, wants and isms into consideration before I act. If i go to the store, i bring home a drink for my roommate. I do small things to make people feel welcome. When feasible, i make an attempt to let my housemates know where i am and when i intend to return. I do not do these things so people will like me, or so they will think that i am nice. I do it for two reasons - the first being that these are all things i would appreciate someone doing for me, and the second is much less flattering. If i am consistently considerate of other peoples feelings and needs, then if i ever request that they act the same way and they fail to do so, I have the right to argue with them about it and not be hypocritical.
Because I am not nice.
People mistake me for being nice because I will do them favours without needing immediate repayment. This is not out of kindness, it is because i am storing up favours for some potential but not inevitable future in which i may need a favour.
I'm also kind of a bitch; I judge people, I make unkind assumptions, I do not expect the best from people and I assume that others will disappoint me.
Now i don't know if this makes me a bad person. I don't know if it's some secret indicator of a psychological issue that I havn't yet identified. Or maybe i'm just realistic.
In other news:
Everything is sad. Everything is hard and stupid and unavoidable. I feel like three months ago the same things that made me happy and content are now making me sad and pathetic. I do not like this.