OhMyGod
This isn't going to make much sense, but i need to document this.
He knows. He totally knows. And he either doesn't care, or feels exactly the same way i do... but i don't think it matters because somehow he understands that i'm skirting around The Issue but wants to let me know that The Issue is far more of a non-issue than an actual problem.
I'm giddy. Giddy and wired and /terrified/, because part of me wants this so much that i don't know if i could handle having it. And i can't say he's perfect cause he's probably not and i know that i'm defenitly not...
But i do want it. I do.
I think it may be really weird that the possiblity of actually /getting/ something i want makes me completely over the moon. Especially when i approach everything in this left-field manner.
But the weirdest part of this whole /thing/ is that i don't feel totally stupid about it. Usually i'm all "there's no way. There's no way and even if there IS a way i don't deserve it" and so forth.
There is a way. And i do deserve it. And i want it.
He knows. He totally knows. And he either doesn't care, or feels exactly the same way i do... but i don't think it matters because somehow he understands that i'm skirting around The Issue but wants to let me know that The Issue is far more of a non-issue than an actual problem.
I'm giddy. Giddy and wired and /terrified/, because part of me wants this so much that i don't know if i could handle having it. And i can't say he's perfect cause he's probably not and i know that i'm defenitly not...
But i do want it. I do.
I think it may be really weird that the possiblity of actually /getting/ something i want makes me completely over the moon. Especially when i approach everything in this left-field manner.
But the weirdest part of this whole /thing/ is that i don't feel totally stupid about it. Usually i'm all "there's no way. There's no way and even if there IS a way i don't deserve it" and so forth.
There is a way. And i do deserve it. And i want it.