Read this and be ammused.
Found this in a web forum, and decided to be a jerk and kill people's friends page with it.
Lessons learned from Anime
Anime in General
-The harder she hits you, the more she loves you-
-Everything cool happens in Japan-
-There will be robots. If there are not robots, there will be ninjas-
-Friendship is the most powerful force of all!-
-No matter how short her skirt is, NOTHING will be seen underneath it, no matter how fast she is running or how many demons she's fighting-
-Love triumphs over everything!-
-If you beat people up and then give an inspiring speech, they will be changed for the better-
-The most skilled martial arts master is completely defenseless against a slap from his girlfriend-
-Said martial arts master is never truly angry until his girlfriend/loved one is hurt-
-That cute, fuzzy creature in the corner isn't what it seems-
-Food is a powerful motivator-
-When you die, make a long speech, and don't finish the last sentence-
-Music foreshadows plot-
-Vengeance with a mallet is the sweetest revenge of all-
-Teachers have excellent aim with small objects-
-The coolest weapon is still the sword-
-Love knows no race, species, or logic-
-Never trust a huge corporation-
-Romance never comes simpler than in a triangle-
-Everyone wants to conquer Japan-
-You can never have too many subplots-
-The guy in the baseball cap is always more powerful than he seems-
-When someone paints up their face, they mean business-
-When women are sent out to fight the bad guys, there's always a hunk busily watching over them, often in secret-
-The longer it takes to say what your punch is called, the less effective it is-
-The fate of the planet rests in the hands of the seemingly normal high school student-
-True evil can never be destroyed, only banished to some nether realm where it awakes after a few hundred years-
-All persons under the age of 50 can do a ten foot vertical jump from a standing position-
-Never trust a guy with shiny teeth-
-The vampire isn't *always* the bad guy-
-Just about any outer space villain has his sights set on destroying the Earth and no other planet in the universe will be able to stop said villain except the Earth-
-People will take any excuse to party-
-There are an infinite number of alternate universes, each with its own version of Tenchi Muyo-
-"Domo","baka","yosh!", and "omae wa mo shinderu" are useful expressions-
-Some songs are better if you don't know the words-
-A dialogue-free scene with identical background music can actually be funnier in the sub than the dub. It is not logical, but it is often so
-Everyone needs a hobby. Many need a life-
-Evil can only be destroyed after the series has gone on for 100 and some odd episodes. Even after that, a new evil shall arise for season two-
-Japanese shows can do just fine on American T.V. as long as you don't tell anyone they're Japanese-
-A samurai sword can cut through anything-
-When uncovering a fabulous treasure, the thing will be large enough to completely destroy any surrounding structures-
-Anime villians have the best deaths-
-Any love interest will always be possesed by a demon-
-Extremely large weapons can be stored anywhere on anybody-
-Jerks fly very high when punched-
-Killing is very diverse, from notebooks to straw dolls-
-A word like "pika" can have thousands of meanings-
-If you see a pretty girl on the street there is a 40% chance it is a guy-
-Jumping of a building does not usually kill you-
-The hero always loses the first fight with a new enemy-
-Any truly evil person who changes sides for the woman he loves will die in that episode-
-You CAN do it, but only when it's funny or REALLY important-
-Hair comes in every shade of the rainbow - and we do mean pink, purple, blue, green....-
-The song "Cry Me a River" takes on a whole new meaning-
-Gazing into space is normal [Somewhat]-
-Dropping a pencil can make one blush like a tomato-
-Tripping down on a flat surface is completely normal-
-Stupid phrases like "I am god" or "Believe it" can be repeated trillions of times before someone finally smacks you-
-Fan clubs are dangerous and obsessive-
-Snow means love-
-In space, you can hear everything-
-There's always room for flashbacks!-
-If you act like a pervert, you will get kicked in the ass-
-Smart people wear glasses-
-The green-haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man she loves-
-Female androids are sexy; male androids are....male androids-
-You can never have too much hair-
-Sweating is a sure sign of stress-
-Daydreaming leads to accidents-
-Double suicide is romantic-
-Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler-
-Nothing delays romance like unruly neighbors-
-Fancy ice cream is for girls only-
-The most virtuous character will die-
-It is possible to incorporate martial arts into any aspect of life-
-Consuming enormous amounts of alcohol daily will never have ill effects-
-All major villains either want to take over the world or blow it up-
-Everyone in Japan has excellent singing voices-
-No matter how many times you rebuild, Tokyo keeps getting destroyed in a massive fireball-
-No matter how big the mech/labor/mobile suit is, if it runs around the corner, the guy chasing it loses the trail-
-Every girl will fall in love with a boy that will never acknowledge them, and shun the ones that truly adore them-
-Fancy martial arts may not accomplish anything...But it sure looks good-
-No matter how wild your bangs are, you can always see through them-
-No matter how much time has gone by, you will always be the same age-
-Older brothers tend to be homicidal-
-The bad guys are almost always 'goodlooking' androgenous metrosexuals-
-No mather how big your breasts are, you will never need medical attention due to severe back pain-
-The skimpier she dresses, the harder she can hit-
-Males look good in drag-
-The enemies you fight one day, will become your allies the next-
-Your group of friends will almost always consist of a happy-go-lucky, fangirl/boy obssessed or pervert, and emo person with black hair and a bad childhood or past-
-The power to believe in yourself is the power to change fate-
-The weirder the people you hang-out with are, the more normal you look in comparison-
-If you are just a normal high school student, odds are you will not be one for long-
-Be nice to the little, awkward guy/girl with the swirly-lensed glasses. Geeky as s/he is, s/he will have a feature episode where s/he saves everyone's butt, and if you have been a jerk to him, you will be listed among the pwned-
-Pratice makes perfect-
-It is okay to wear the same clothes for the rest of your life-
-If he is an old man and a martial arts master than you can bet anything that he is perverted as well-
-Most teachers are perverts-
-The smarter/wiser a person is, the more likely he is to be perverted-
-A split personalty is barely ever noticed, and even if it is, it will not require profesional treatment-
-As long as another good guy or teammate hurts you, you will not die, you could fall of a mountain and survive. However, if an enemy as much as pricks you with a needle you suddenly have a serious injury-
-Even though you go trough extreme transformations which put a huge strain on your cell structure, you will not get cancer-
-Everything is a weapon! This includes sand and ice-
-Those who are half-breeds are the heroes-
-Do not talk to overly friendly people. You won't be able to get them to shut up. Same goes for hyper people-
-Cute little girls always have big hammers. Or are always badass-
-Cherry blossoms are good weapons. And they do make you look manly-
-If there are Gundams, there is a war-
-Ramen comes in bottomless cups-
-Those who wear eyepatches never simply lost their eye. Or they have some uber-magic ability under it-
-If you have silver hair, you are cool-
-If more than one person likes you, never kiss one of them when you think you are alone. The other person will catch you-
-If you are a guy with a female love interest and another female hits on you, you will be blamed-
-One guy in a group of girls = never a good outcome for the guy-
-If a group is made mainly of guys, fangirls will consider them all to be homosexual-
-The cute ones are always crazy-
-Oranges can bring you back to life. If you run out of oranges, use the syringe filled with ominous purple stuff-
-Do not worry, the secondary characters never really die. They just wanted to motivate the main character-
-If you have a scar, there is always some long, angsty, emotional story behind it-
-If the main villain is a woman, she will be crushing on your man too-
-The two characters that hate each other's guts will fall in love, according to the fangirls-
-If you change it magical-girl clothes, people will not recognize you-
-The long costume change sequence is a MUST. And is completely necessary-
-Scream your attack before you use it. It causes the enemy to dely their response-
-If you do a really cool move in a fight, you must spend at least two minutes explaining how you got it and what it does, giving your opponent the opportunity to think of a counterattack-
-When the smoke clears, your opponent is always standing. Make sure to gasp in surprise-
-When you think your attack is all that, it really is not-
-When you defeat an enemy, a stronger one will emerge-
-Catgirls are very distracting-
-If you are happy-go-lucky, you will fall in love with the asshole-
-Even the happiest of people have the emo-est of pasts-
-If your opponent gets the upperhand, do not worry. You will think of a way to defeat them using a complex, completely unnecessary tactic/strategy-
-Radio/television announcements are always conviniently placed-
-If you throw away something important, someone you know will find it later-
-Save someone's life. They will fall in love with you-
-Sex DOES sell-
-If you are the child of the series, you are the genius-
-Big swords make you look cool-
-It is always the people under the age of 20 that get the big adventures-
-There will always be an orphan-
-Knock before you go into your own room. A girl might be changing in it-
-If you live with a girl and you sleep in, you will be woken up violently-
-Ten episodes can not go by without some kind of misunderstanding-
-Bubbles and sparkles make things more lovey-dovey-
-The guy with the closed eyes? He can see perfectly-
-If you enter a town, someone is always watching you from afar, smirking-
-Unnatural eye colors are completely natural. Same goes for hair-
-Samurai love tea and sake-
-PRIDE IS EVERYTHING-
-If they say "I'll catch up to you later!", odds are they will not-
-Death is a good motivation-
-People named after objects are cool-
-If under a spell, a tear drop from someone else can nullify it-
-Dragons make great jeeps-
-Shinigami are common and visible to a lot of people-
Ah, My Goddess!
Sometimes, what you wish for is exactly what you want.
Big O
-The basic rule of negotiating is to consider and respect the other person's feelings-
-A Negotiator only uses force as a last resort-
Bleach
-GHOSTS DO EXIST-
-Smacking people's foreheads brings out their shinigami side-
-People who get up and randomly leave the classroom are probably leaving to hunt down soul-eating creatures-
-Hairpins shoot out magical fairies-
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo
-Just because you cannot understand it does not mean that it does not make sense-
Chibi Vampire
-No matter how much blood is lost, no one can die by a nosebleed-
Comic Party
-Fail once, try again until you find your forte-
-Just because it is popular, does not mean that it cannot suck-
-The best stories are written for the sake of entertaining a loved one, not for the sake of writing a story-
-Find what you love, and others will see how much you love it in how you work with it and how your eyes light up when you talk about it-
-"Weird" people are often more deep than you give them credit for-
-Nerds know how to stop bombs-
-Love can grow-
-Find your voice. Or pen. Or needle-
Cromartie High School
-Things are not always as they seem-
-Many are sorry for their past deeds-
-All things change-
-Just because something sucks, does not mean that it cannot become popular-
Death Note
-When faced with a shinigami, prepare a handful of apples-
-Death gods only eat apples-
-Crazy people are either Jesus or Judas. Depends-
-If you think your new BFF and his girlfriend could be serial killers, they probably are. Just kill them now: It'll spare you the trouble later on, and maybe even your life-
-Don't get a myspace! [or Light will find out all that bad stuff you've been doing...]-
-If you work your brain it doesn't matter how much you eat! You will never get fat!-
-Always use an alias/nickname. Maybe some random letter from the alphabet-
-Never reveal your real name unless you really trust someone. even then, you might want to re-think that nickname-
-Never pick up something if you do not know what it is-
-Being a genius can make you miss a whole year of school!-
-Always sit perched in chairs, lest your reasoning ability decreases by 40%-
-Strange and wonderful things happen when you eat potato chips-
-If you say "sakujo/delete/eliminate" while writing someone's name, your pen can radiate badass blue and red laser beams-
-Do not judge a book by its cover-
-Never accuse of someone of doing/being something wrong until proven so-
-If you really think he/she is a mass murderer; arrest them immediately!-
-Save up money to buy a lil' tv set and stuff it in your favorite brand of chips-
-Do not become a genius who can solve any case in the world, chances are you will be murdered before reaching adulthood-
-Sweets do not make you fat-
-Always have an extra Death Note handy-
Digimon
-Determination and never giving up help us to achieve our goals-
-Friendship makes us stronger-
D.N.Angel
-Being a thief is not nessicarally a bad thing, and it does not automatically make you a bad person-
-Sometimes stealing something may actually be doing the world a favor-
-Growing your own wings is very painful-
-If there was no impurity in the world, nothing would be considered pure-
Dragonball
-That little mutant kid? The world's hero-
-If you scream at the top of your lungs, your hair will spike up and you will become a great warrior-
-Beware of blue haired people who sneeze and magically turn blonde-
-Seven yellow orbs can call upon a dragon to grant you any wish-
-Five minutes means six or seven episodes worth of time-
-Bad guys have themed names-
-Any object can become pill sized-
-Glowing does not always mean you are radioactive-
Eureka Seven
-With hard work a relationship can last-
Excel Saga
-Dogs make a great emergency food supply-
-If you mess up, a black hole with lady arms will reset everything-
FLCL
-Beware of ladies riding yellow mopeds weilding guitars-
Fruits Basket
-Do not hug members of the opposite gender, they could turn into animals!-
-Cherry blossoms mean nostalgia-
-If someone seems to act EXACTLY how the Chinese Zodiac describe each animal, don't hug them!-
-Cats are loners and easily fooled by things smaller than themselves-
-Never go camping when waiting for a room to open-
-Do not DO zodiac-transforming people! It will run in your childrens' blood!!-
-People with white hair are not always old-
-That scary goth girl who controls waves might have a scary gothic brother who controls curses. Try to stay on her good side!-
-Guys can look great in drag-
-There is a cat in the zodiac!-
FullMetal Alchemist
-Do not look down on shrimps if you are not ready to suffer the consequences-
-If something is forbidden, DON'T do it-
-Don't depend on God for everything-
-Don't be horny [Lust]-
-Don't be fat [Gluttony]-
-Don't be lazy [Sloth]-
-Don't be violent [Wrath]-
-Don't be jealous [Envy]-
-Don't be selfish [Greed]-
-Don't let your pride get the better of you-
-Pick on someone your own size!-
-Naked children on random islands are best left there-
-Armor suits make great storage areas-
-Make sure the leader of your nation is a human-
-Never trust people with funky tattos-
-If you hide inside a suit of armor and attach red lights at the eyeholes and go around saying you are a soul attached to a suit of armor, people WILL believe you-
-If you lose your arm, leg, or any other body part, then get an automail!-
-Bringing back the dead is impossible-
-It is scarier dealing with living people than the dead-
Full Moon wo Sagashite
-Even if it will cost your life, never give up and always go after your dreams!-
-If shinigamis come into your life... your probable chance of being alive any longer will be about 10%-
Hayate the Combat Butler
-If you have bad parents, running away from them is bettr than trying to save them-
Honey and Clover
-Twister is more fun when there are at at least 50 colors-
-Everyone loves lolis-
-Meat is the best thing EVER-
-Calling someone a mouse or hamster can be affectionate-
-Sometimes it is good to just get on your bike and ride away for awhile-
-Go hunting for four leaf clovers with a group of friends; you will remember it for the rest of your life-
-Be bold and honest with love, but know when to give up on someone too-
-The guy does not always get the girl-
-Genius comes in all different shapes and forms....including random and batshit crazy-
-Do not kiss the girl you love, and then scream, tie her up with a scarf, run away, and catch the next flight to America. It will confuse the hell out of her-
Gundam
-There are an infinite number of alternate universes, each with its own character look-alike-
-There are really good and thoroughly bad people on each side in all wars-
-Do not fall in love with a Gundam Pilot. You will most likely end up very disappointed, or going to a funeral-
Inuyasha
-Demons lived in the recent past, but apparently all died out before the invention of electricity-
-If you see a wishing well, jump into it. There is a different world in there-
-Dont ever accept strange neckalaces from people you have just met-
-If you see a cute dog demon tied to a tree, touch his ears before he wakes up. He will not let you afterwards-
-Beware of what you do/say to the living. They may be ressurected-
-Saying the name of your attack does not make it any stronger and gets really annoying-
-Saying the name of a certain person 2789570291089375 times is VERY annoying-
-Never leave a plastic cup of instant ramen 500 years in the past who KNOWS what kind of archaeologist will find it!-
-Stay away from guys with dog ears and zombie ex-girlfriends-
-No matter how many times you kill the villian, they always come back-
-If you show an enemy mercy, your mistake will come back and bite you in the ass-
Jingoku Shoujo
-Not all are deserving of their punishments-
-Even those who ask for honest help, are not honest themselves-
Kyou Kara Maou
-Stay AWAY from toilets!-
-Touching water can bring you to another world!-
-You will be praised for wearing black-
-Think before you say/do ANYTHING or you might propose to someone without even realizing!-
Loveless
-There is nothing wrong with dating a minor, even if you are 20 something and they are just 12-
-If you don't have any cute little kitty ears and tail you are no longer a virgin-
-Power will increase for some people once they have something romantic with the person their protecting during the battlefield-
Melencholoy of Haruhi
-Every club needs a lolita girl who can fit in a bunny suit to gain success-
Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch
-That girl over there will change into a mermaid if you get her wet-
-If you have a pearl in a seashell shaped necklace, your singing abilities will improve greatly-
Monster Rancher
-Always inspect your new game disc before popping it into the Playstation. You may get sucked into it-
-Your sidekicks will allways either be cute, or awesome-
-Harpies are evil and should be killed-
-Cows are evil as well-
Naruto
-Good ninjas have morals. Being good at killing things is irrevalent-
-Saying 'Believe it!' can really get on peoples' nerves after awhile-
-Ramen is gooooood-
-Even 12-year-olds can be homicidal-
-Don't be a total fangirl like Sakura-
-Never summon the Toad Chief, if you do you will be in for one rough ride-
-Ninjas make great friends, but terrible family-
-You can actually fight better drunk-
-You can remove your bones, use them as weapons, and somehow still be able to move around in a normal way-
-Orange is a stealthy color-
-Do not drink expired milk, it will give you diarreah at the most important and embarassing times-
-The strongest weapons are your fists!-
-Only try to kill your friends when nobody's around, other wise they'll stop you or jump in the way like a maniac-
-Never trust family-
-Do not fumble around boys you have a crush on, they will think you are weird-
-Acting like an anti-social asshole will make you popular with the girls-
One Piece
-Editing can get so corny that you need a tub of butter per episode-
-Reindeer can become doctors-
-You can feed a gun and turn it into a baseball shooting machine-
-They are not mermen, they are manmers!-
-When in doubt, RUN AWAY!!-
-The government is corrupted and its ok to go against them-
Orphen
-Just because your name is Majic does not mean you will be any good at performing it-
Ouran High School Host Club
-Beware of otakus-
-If you claim that you have "fatherly/motherly feelings" for someone, you're probably infatuated with them-
-Twincest is the best-
-If you have mad bishie skills, you can jump out to save someone falling and embrace them right before you actually hit the surface. And live-
-Do not wake up people with AB blood type-
(The) Petite Princess Yucie
-Always be kind to others and you will be rewarded-
-Someone repeating their current status will get annoying-
Pokemon
-Never give up, you gotta catch 'em all!-
-Do not not pick a Pikachu as your stater pokemon, it can and will shock you-
-It's A-OK to drop out of school at the age of ten to wander around the world with no parental supervision and only your menagerie of barely-tamed creatures-
-You will encounter the same batch of pathetic foes everyday. Just try shooting them, it could work-
-Animals can live in air tight balls the size of one's fist-
-Those named after trees are great professors-
-You do not need to open your eyes to see-
-Things that are stolen from you will always be returned unharmed no matter what happens to the ones whole stole it from you-
Ranma 1/2
-Don't learn your Japanese pronunciation from Chinese amazons-
-There is nothing unmanly about turning down a challenge. In fact, it's often the only smart thing to do-
-Be Nice. Don't Do Anything Stupid. Shut Up-
-Always listen to the Chinese tour guide or you may end up a giant panda or a member of the opposite sex-
Read or Die
-Paper is also the most powerful weapon of all-
-If you try to bring dead famous people back to life, they will kill you-
-Papercuts can kill you-
Rurouni Kenshin
-Every life counts and that everyone should live to their fullest-
-Just because you do not see someone move, does not mean they did not-
Sailor Moon
-That high school girl right over there probably has magical powers-
-Cats can talk, and they possess supermatural powers-
-2000 years ago, not only was the entire world one giant kingdom, there were Moon People and magic and giant wars! Sadly, no records of this have survived to the present day-
-That shiny little rock there? Don't lose it. Everyone and their mothers want it-
-Never trust any new shops that seem to appear out of nowhere-
-Schools can be used as a great hiding place for aliens outside of our Solar System-
Samurai Champloo
-There is no point in splitting up in a group, you will find yourself with them again soon enough-
-Desperate measures to find money may include joining a food contest, killing someone for a bounty, or being paid as forgiveness for being kidnapped-
-Different people has different scents-
Spirited Away
-When you do not know were you are, say it is a dream...but it really is not-
Tokyo Mew Mew [A La Mode]
-Sprouting animal parts from your body is perfectly normal, and so is having supernatural-powers.
-If you can not defeat the villain by yourself, cry until the guy who likes you comes to the rescue-
Tortoro: My Friendly Neighbor
-Tortoros live in your backyard!-
Yu-Gi-Oh
-If you believe in the heart of the cards, you WILL win!-
-The Ancient Egyptians were BADASS-
-Treat all of your playing cards with respect. If you don't, they'll turn on you and help your opponent instead-
-NEVER underestimate shiny gold objects-
Yu Yu Hakusho
-Bad boys who are perverts and jerks are really great people-
Lessons learned from Anime
Anime in General
-The harder she hits you, the more she loves you-
-Everything cool happens in Japan-
-There will be robots. If there are not robots, there will be ninjas-
-Friendship is the most powerful force of all!-
-No matter how short her skirt is, NOTHING will be seen underneath it, no matter how fast she is running or how many demons she's fighting-
-Love triumphs over everything!-
-If you beat people up and then give an inspiring speech, they will be changed for the better-
-The most skilled martial arts master is completely defenseless against a slap from his girlfriend-
-Said martial arts master is never truly angry until his girlfriend/loved one is hurt-
-That cute, fuzzy creature in the corner isn't what it seems-
-Food is a powerful motivator-
-When you die, make a long speech, and don't finish the last sentence-
-Music foreshadows plot-
-Vengeance with a mallet is the sweetest revenge of all-
-Teachers have excellent aim with small objects-
-The coolest weapon is still the sword-
-Love knows no race, species, or logic-
-Never trust a huge corporation-
-Romance never comes simpler than in a triangle-
-Everyone wants to conquer Japan-
-You can never have too many subplots-
-The guy in the baseball cap is always more powerful than he seems-
-When someone paints up their face, they mean business-
-When women are sent out to fight the bad guys, there's always a hunk busily watching over them, often in secret-
-The longer it takes to say what your punch is called, the less effective it is-
-The fate of the planet rests in the hands of the seemingly normal high school student-
-True evil can never be destroyed, only banished to some nether realm where it awakes after a few hundred years-
-All persons under the age of 50 can do a ten foot vertical jump from a standing position-
-Never trust a guy with shiny teeth-
-The vampire isn't *always* the bad guy-
-Just about any outer space villain has his sights set on destroying the Earth and no other planet in the universe will be able to stop said villain except the Earth-
-People will take any excuse to party-
-There are an infinite number of alternate universes, each with its own version of Tenchi Muyo-
-"Domo","baka","yosh!", and "omae wa mo shinderu" are useful expressions-
-Some songs are better if you don't know the words-
-A dialogue-free scene with identical background music can actually be funnier in the sub than the dub. It is not logical, but it is often so
-Everyone needs a hobby. Many need a life-
-Evil can only be destroyed after the series has gone on for 100 and some odd episodes. Even after that, a new evil shall arise for season two-
-Japanese shows can do just fine on American T.V. as long as you don't tell anyone they're Japanese-
-A samurai sword can cut through anything-
-When uncovering a fabulous treasure, the thing will be large enough to completely destroy any surrounding structures-
-Anime villians have the best deaths-
-Any love interest will always be possesed by a demon-
-Extremely large weapons can be stored anywhere on anybody-
-Jerks fly very high when punched-
-Killing is very diverse, from notebooks to straw dolls-
-A word like "pika" can have thousands of meanings-
-If you see a pretty girl on the street there is a 40% chance it is a guy-
-Jumping of a building does not usually kill you-
-The hero always loses the first fight with a new enemy-
-Any truly evil person who changes sides for the woman he loves will die in that episode-
-You CAN do it, but only when it's funny or REALLY important-
-Hair comes in every shade of the rainbow - and we do mean pink, purple, blue, green....-
-The song "Cry Me a River" takes on a whole new meaning-
-Gazing into space is normal [Somewhat]-
-Dropping a pencil can make one blush like a tomato-
-Tripping down on a flat surface is completely normal-
-Stupid phrases like "I am god" or "Believe it" can be repeated trillions of times before someone finally smacks you-
-Fan clubs are dangerous and obsessive-
-Snow means love-
-In space, you can hear everything-
-There's always room for flashbacks!-
-If you act like a pervert, you will get kicked in the ass-
-Smart people wear glasses-
-The green-haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man she loves-
-Female androids are sexy; male androids are....male androids-
-You can never have too much hair-
-Sweating is a sure sign of stress-
-Daydreaming leads to accidents-
-Double suicide is romantic-
-Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler-
-Nothing delays romance like unruly neighbors-
-Fancy ice cream is for girls only-
-The most virtuous character will die-
-It is possible to incorporate martial arts into any aspect of life-
-Consuming enormous amounts of alcohol daily will never have ill effects-
-All major villains either want to take over the world or blow it up-
-Everyone in Japan has excellent singing voices-
-No matter how many times you rebuild, Tokyo keeps getting destroyed in a massive fireball-
-No matter how big the mech/labor/mobile suit is, if it runs around the corner, the guy chasing it loses the trail-
-Every girl will fall in love with a boy that will never acknowledge them, and shun the ones that truly adore them-
-Fancy martial arts may not accomplish anything...But it sure looks good-
-No matter how wild your bangs are, you can always see through them-
-No matter how much time has gone by, you will always be the same age-
-Older brothers tend to be homicidal-
-The bad guys are almost always 'goodlooking' androgenous metrosexuals-
-No mather how big your breasts are, you will never need medical attention due to severe back pain-
-The skimpier she dresses, the harder she can hit-
-Males look good in drag-
-The enemies you fight one day, will become your allies the next-
-Your group of friends will almost always consist of a happy-go-lucky, fangirl/boy obssessed or pervert, and emo person with black hair and a bad childhood or past-
-The power to believe in yourself is the power to change fate-
-The weirder the people you hang-out with are, the more normal you look in comparison-
-If you are just a normal high school student, odds are you will not be one for long-
-Be nice to the little, awkward guy/girl with the swirly-lensed glasses. Geeky as s/he is, s/he will have a feature episode where s/he saves everyone's butt, and if you have been a jerk to him, you will be listed among the pwned-
-Pratice makes perfect-
-It is okay to wear the same clothes for the rest of your life-
-If he is an old man and a martial arts master than you can bet anything that he is perverted as well-
-Most teachers are perverts-
-The smarter/wiser a person is, the more likely he is to be perverted-
-A split personalty is barely ever noticed, and even if it is, it will not require profesional treatment-
-As long as another good guy or teammate hurts you, you will not die, you could fall of a mountain and survive. However, if an enemy as much as pricks you with a needle you suddenly have a serious injury-
-Even though you go trough extreme transformations which put a huge strain on your cell structure, you will not get cancer-
-Everything is a weapon! This includes sand and ice-
-Those who are half-breeds are the heroes-
-Do not talk to overly friendly people. You won't be able to get them to shut up. Same goes for hyper people-
-Cute little girls always have big hammers. Or are always badass-
-Cherry blossoms are good weapons. And they do make you look manly-
-If there are Gundams, there is a war-
-Ramen comes in bottomless cups-
-Those who wear eyepatches never simply lost their eye. Or they have some uber-magic ability under it-
-If you have silver hair, you are cool-
-If more than one person likes you, never kiss one of them when you think you are alone. The other person will catch you-
-If you are a guy with a female love interest and another female hits on you, you will be blamed-
-One guy in a group of girls = never a good outcome for the guy-
-If a group is made mainly of guys, fangirls will consider them all to be homosexual-
-The cute ones are always crazy-
-Oranges can bring you back to life. If you run out of oranges, use the syringe filled with ominous purple stuff-
-Do not worry, the secondary characters never really die. They just wanted to motivate the main character-
-If you have a scar, there is always some long, angsty, emotional story behind it-
-If the main villain is a woman, she will be crushing on your man too-
-The two characters that hate each other's guts will fall in love, according to the fangirls-
-If you change it magical-girl clothes, people will not recognize you-
-The long costume change sequence is a MUST. And is completely necessary-
-Scream your attack before you use it. It causes the enemy to dely their response-
-If you do a really cool move in a fight, you must spend at least two minutes explaining how you got it and what it does, giving your opponent the opportunity to think of a counterattack-
-When the smoke clears, your opponent is always standing. Make sure to gasp in surprise-
-When you think your attack is all that, it really is not-
-When you defeat an enemy, a stronger one will emerge-
-Catgirls are very distracting-
-If you are happy-go-lucky, you will fall in love with the asshole-
-Even the happiest of people have the emo-est of pasts-
-If your opponent gets the upperhand, do not worry. You will think of a way to defeat them using a complex, completely unnecessary tactic/strategy-
-Radio/television announcements are always conviniently placed-
-If you throw away something important, someone you know will find it later-
-Save someone's life. They will fall in love with you-
-Sex DOES sell-
-If you are the child of the series, you are the genius-
-Big swords make you look cool-
-It is always the people under the age of 20 that get the big adventures-
-There will always be an orphan-
-Knock before you go into your own room. A girl might be changing in it-
-If you live with a girl and you sleep in, you will be woken up violently-
-Ten episodes can not go by without some kind of misunderstanding-
-Bubbles and sparkles make things more lovey-dovey-
-The guy with the closed eyes? He can see perfectly-
-If you enter a town, someone is always watching you from afar, smirking-
-Unnatural eye colors are completely natural. Same goes for hair-
-Samurai love tea and sake-
-PRIDE IS EVERYTHING-
-If they say "I'll catch up to you later!", odds are they will not-
-Death is a good motivation-
-People named after objects are cool-
-If under a spell, a tear drop from someone else can nullify it-
-Dragons make great jeeps-
-Shinigami are common and visible to a lot of people-
Ah, My Goddess!
Sometimes, what you wish for is exactly what you want.
Big O
-The basic rule of negotiating is to consider and respect the other person's feelings-
-A Negotiator only uses force as a last resort-
Bleach
-GHOSTS DO EXIST-
-Smacking people's foreheads brings out their shinigami side-
-People who get up and randomly leave the classroom are probably leaving to hunt down soul-eating creatures-
-Hairpins shoot out magical fairies-
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo
-Just because you cannot understand it does not mean that it does not make sense-
Chibi Vampire
-No matter how much blood is lost, no one can die by a nosebleed-
Comic Party
-Fail once, try again until you find your forte-
-Just because it is popular, does not mean that it cannot suck-
-The best stories are written for the sake of entertaining a loved one, not for the sake of writing a story-
-Find what you love, and others will see how much you love it in how you work with it and how your eyes light up when you talk about it-
-"Weird" people are often more deep than you give them credit for-
-Nerds know how to stop bombs-
-Love can grow-
-Find your voice. Or pen. Or needle-
Cromartie High School
-Things are not always as they seem-
-Many are sorry for their past deeds-
-All things change-
-Just because something sucks, does not mean that it cannot become popular-
Death Note
-When faced with a shinigami, prepare a handful of apples-
-Death gods only eat apples-
-Crazy people are either Jesus or Judas. Depends-
-If you think your new BFF and his girlfriend could be serial killers, they probably are. Just kill them now: It'll spare you the trouble later on, and maybe even your life-
-Don't get a myspace! [or Light will find out all that bad stuff you've been doing...]-
-If you work your brain it doesn't matter how much you eat! You will never get fat!-
-Always use an alias/nickname. Maybe some random letter from the alphabet-
-Never reveal your real name unless you really trust someone. even then, you might want to re-think that nickname-
-Never pick up something if you do not know what it is-
-Being a genius can make you miss a whole year of school!-
-Always sit perched in chairs, lest your reasoning ability decreases by 40%-
-Strange and wonderful things happen when you eat potato chips-
-If you say "sakujo/delete/eliminate" while writing someone's name, your pen can radiate badass blue and red laser beams-
-Do not judge a book by its cover-
-Never accuse of someone of doing/being something wrong until proven so-
-If you really think he/she is a mass murderer; arrest them immediately!-
-Save up money to buy a lil' tv set and stuff it in your favorite brand of chips-
-Do not become a genius who can solve any case in the world, chances are you will be murdered before reaching adulthood-
-Sweets do not make you fat-
-Always have an extra Death Note handy-
Digimon
-Determination and never giving up help us to achieve our goals-
-Friendship makes us stronger-
D.N.Angel
-Being a thief is not nessicarally a bad thing, and it does not automatically make you a bad person-
-Sometimes stealing something may actually be doing the world a favor-
-Growing your own wings is very painful-
-If there was no impurity in the world, nothing would be considered pure-
Dragonball
-That little mutant kid? The world's hero-
-If you scream at the top of your lungs, your hair will spike up and you will become a great warrior-
-Beware of blue haired people who sneeze and magically turn blonde-
-Seven yellow orbs can call upon a dragon to grant you any wish-
-Five minutes means six or seven episodes worth of time-
-Bad guys have themed names-
-Any object can become pill sized-
-Glowing does not always mean you are radioactive-
Eureka Seven
-With hard work a relationship can last-
Excel Saga
-Dogs make a great emergency food supply-
-If you mess up, a black hole with lady arms will reset everything-
FLCL
-Beware of ladies riding yellow mopeds weilding guitars-
Fruits Basket
-Do not hug members of the opposite gender, they could turn into animals!-
-Cherry blossoms mean nostalgia-
-If someone seems to act EXACTLY how the Chinese Zodiac describe each animal, don't hug them!-
-Cats are loners and easily fooled by things smaller than themselves-
-Never go camping when waiting for a room to open-
-Do not DO zodiac-transforming people! It will run in your childrens' blood!!-
-People with white hair are not always old-
-That scary goth girl who controls waves might have a scary gothic brother who controls curses. Try to stay on her good side!-
-Guys can look great in drag-
-There is a cat in the zodiac!-
FullMetal Alchemist
-Do not look down on shrimps if you are not ready to suffer the consequences-
-If something is forbidden, DON'T do it-
-Don't depend on God for everything-
-Don't be horny [Lust]-
-Don't be fat [Gluttony]-
-Don't be lazy [Sloth]-
-Don't be violent [Wrath]-
-Don't be jealous [Envy]-
-Don't be selfish [Greed]-
-Don't let your pride get the better of you-
-Pick on someone your own size!-
-Naked children on random islands are best left there-
-Armor suits make great storage areas-
-Make sure the leader of your nation is a human-
-Never trust people with funky tattos-
-If you hide inside a suit of armor and attach red lights at the eyeholes and go around saying you are a soul attached to a suit of armor, people WILL believe you-
-If you lose your arm, leg, or any other body part, then get an automail!-
-Bringing back the dead is impossible-
-It is scarier dealing with living people than the dead-
Full Moon wo Sagashite
-Even if it will cost your life, never give up and always go after your dreams!-
-If shinigamis come into your life... your probable chance of being alive any longer will be about 10%-
Hayate the Combat Butler
-If you have bad parents, running away from them is bettr than trying to save them-
Honey and Clover
-Twister is more fun when there are at at least 50 colors-
-Everyone loves lolis-
-Meat is the best thing EVER-
-Calling someone a mouse or hamster can be affectionate-
-Sometimes it is good to just get on your bike and ride away for awhile-
-Go hunting for four leaf clovers with a group of friends; you will remember it for the rest of your life-
-Be bold and honest with love, but know when to give up on someone too-
-The guy does not always get the girl-
-Genius comes in all different shapes and forms....including random and batshit crazy-
-Do not kiss the girl you love, and then scream, tie her up with a scarf, run away, and catch the next flight to America. It will confuse the hell out of her-
Gundam
-There are an infinite number of alternate universes, each with its own character look-alike-
-There are really good and thoroughly bad people on each side in all wars-
-Do not fall in love with a Gundam Pilot. You will most likely end up very disappointed, or going to a funeral-
Inuyasha
-Demons lived in the recent past, but apparently all died out before the invention of electricity-
-If you see a wishing well, jump into it. There is a different world in there-
-Dont ever accept strange neckalaces from people you have just met-
-If you see a cute dog demon tied to a tree, touch his ears before he wakes up. He will not let you afterwards-
-Beware of what you do/say to the living. They may be ressurected-
-Saying the name of your attack does not make it any stronger and gets really annoying-
-Saying the name of a certain person 2789570291089375 times is VERY annoying-
-Never leave a plastic cup of instant ramen 500 years in the past who KNOWS what kind of archaeologist will find it!-
-Stay away from guys with dog ears and zombie ex-girlfriends-
-No matter how many times you kill the villian, they always come back-
-If you show an enemy mercy, your mistake will come back and bite you in the ass-
Jingoku Shoujo
-Not all are deserving of their punishments-
-Even those who ask for honest help, are not honest themselves-
Kyou Kara Maou
-Stay AWAY from toilets!-
-Touching water can bring you to another world!-
-You will be praised for wearing black-
-Think before you say/do ANYTHING or you might propose to someone without even realizing!-
Loveless
-There is nothing wrong with dating a minor, even if you are 20 something and they are just 12-
-If you don't have any cute little kitty ears and tail you are no longer a virgin-
-Power will increase for some people once they have something romantic with the person their protecting during the battlefield-
Melencholoy of Haruhi
-Every club needs a lolita girl who can fit in a bunny suit to gain success-
Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch
-That girl over there will change into a mermaid if you get her wet-
-If you have a pearl in a seashell shaped necklace, your singing abilities will improve greatly-
Monster Rancher
-Always inspect your new game disc before popping it into the Playstation. You may get sucked into it-
-Your sidekicks will allways either be cute, or awesome-
-Harpies are evil and should be killed-
-Cows are evil as well-
Naruto
-Good ninjas have morals. Being good at killing things is irrevalent-
-Saying 'Believe it!' can really get on peoples' nerves after awhile-
-Ramen is gooooood-
-Even 12-year-olds can be homicidal-
-Don't be a total fangirl like Sakura-
-Never summon the Toad Chief, if you do you will be in for one rough ride-
-Ninjas make great friends, but terrible family-
-You can actually fight better drunk-
-You can remove your bones, use them as weapons, and somehow still be able to move around in a normal way-
-Orange is a stealthy color-
-Do not drink expired milk, it will give you diarreah at the most important and embarassing times-
-The strongest weapons are your fists!-
-Only try to kill your friends when nobody's around, other wise they'll stop you or jump in the way like a maniac-
-Never trust family-
-Do not fumble around boys you have a crush on, they will think you are weird-
-Acting like an anti-social asshole will make you popular with the girls-
One Piece
-Editing can get so corny that you need a tub of butter per episode-
-Reindeer can become doctors-
-You can feed a gun and turn it into a baseball shooting machine-
-They are not mermen, they are manmers!-
-When in doubt, RUN AWAY!!-
-The government is corrupted and its ok to go against them-
Orphen
-Just because your name is Majic does not mean you will be any good at performing it-
Ouran High School Host Club
-Beware of otakus-
-If you claim that you have "fatherly/motherly feelings" for someone, you're probably infatuated with them-
-Twincest is the best-
-If you have mad bishie skills, you can jump out to save someone falling and embrace them right before you actually hit the surface. And live-
-Do not wake up people with AB blood type-
(The) Petite Princess Yucie
-Always be kind to others and you will be rewarded-
-Someone repeating their current status will get annoying-
Pokemon
-Never give up, you gotta catch 'em all!-
-Do not not pick a Pikachu as your stater pokemon, it can and will shock you-
-It's A-OK to drop out of school at the age of ten to wander around the world with no parental supervision and only your menagerie of barely-tamed creatures-
-You will encounter the same batch of pathetic foes everyday. Just try shooting them, it could work-
-Animals can live in air tight balls the size of one's fist-
-Those named after trees are great professors-
-You do not need to open your eyes to see-
-Things that are stolen from you will always be returned unharmed no matter what happens to the ones whole stole it from you-
Ranma 1/2
-Don't learn your Japanese pronunciation from Chinese amazons-
-There is nothing unmanly about turning down a challenge. In fact, it's often the only smart thing to do-
-Be Nice. Don't Do Anything Stupid. Shut Up-
-Always listen to the Chinese tour guide or you may end up a giant panda or a member of the opposite sex-
Read or Die
-Paper is also the most powerful weapon of all-
-If you try to bring dead famous people back to life, they will kill you-
-Papercuts can kill you-
Rurouni Kenshin
-Every life counts and that everyone should live to their fullest-
-Just because you do not see someone move, does not mean they did not-
Sailor Moon
-That high school girl right over there probably has magical powers-
-Cats can talk, and they possess supermatural powers-
-2000 years ago, not only was the entire world one giant kingdom, there were Moon People and magic and giant wars! Sadly, no records of this have survived to the present day-
-That shiny little rock there? Don't lose it. Everyone and their mothers want it-
-Never trust any new shops that seem to appear out of nowhere-
-Schools can be used as a great hiding place for aliens outside of our Solar System-
Samurai Champloo
-There is no point in splitting up in a group, you will find yourself with them again soon enough-
-Desperate measures to find money may include joining a food contest, killing someone for a bounty, or being paid as forgiveness for being kidnapped-
-Different people has different scents-
Spirited Away
-When you do not know were you are, say it is a dream...but it really is not-
Tokyo Mew Mew [A La Mode]
-Sprouting animal parts from your body is perfectly normal, and so is having supernatural-powers.
-If you can not defeat the villain by yourself, cry until the guy who likes you comes to the rescue-
Tortoro: My Friendly Neighbor
-Tortoros live in your backyard!-
Yu-Gi-Oh
-If you believe in the heart of the cards, you WILL win!-
-The Ancient Egyptians were BADASS-
-Treat all of your playing cards with respect. If you don't, they'll turn on you and help your opponent instead-
-NEVER underestimate shiny gold objects-
Yu Yu Hakusho
-Bad boys who are perverts and jerks are really great people-