The one with a long entry
Well I went into town last night and had an OK time I guess. Some guy was being really mean to Naomi, calling her a man and stuff, so I confronted him and nearly got into a fight with him. He was just being so rude and dis respectful and I know how fragile she can be, so I just didn't like what he was doing to her.
I did get a bit upset at the end of the night so left early because I was getting lots of memories of Paul and things and I just wasn't really feeling it to be honest. I'm not keen on Oceana on a Wed night because it is just full of dickhead 18 year old freshers who can't handle their beer and think it's cool to behave like twats, push me all over the place and spill their drinks down me. When if anyone did that to me "in real life" then they would get their faces smashed in... But because you're in a club, that kinda behavious is deemed acceptable, and plus, the bouncers are scary and I don't want to be escorted out. To be honest, I wish I could just meet somebody so that I would no longer have to put up with all this fucking bullshit clubbing scene anymore. I'm feeling a bit sick of it to be honest. Don't get me wrong, in a relationship I still go out all the time, but the dynamic changes. Instead of going out to find somebody, I'm going out to enjoy the music and have fun. I do just want somebody to be honest.
I;ve just got back from an appointment with my counsellor and I'm feeling a lot more positive. We did a map which explains my behaviour and why I act the way I do and it made me feel like less of a freak, because I can now actually rationalize why I behave the way I do. She suggested that I go to my GP and get some different anti depressants from the citalopram, and that I should specifically state that I want an SSRI that doesn't have increased appetite as a side effect. Whether my GP will actually listen to that is another story though, lol, but we'll see what happens!
I did get a bit upset at the end of the night so left early because I was getting lots of memories of Paul and things and I just wasn't really feeling it to be honest. I'm not keen on Oceana on a Wed night because it is just full of dickhead 18 year old freshers who can't handle their beer and think it's cool to behave like twats, push me all over the place and spill their drinks down me. When if anyone did that to me "in real life" then they would get their faces smashed in... But because you're in a club, that kinda behavious is deemed acceptable, and plus, the bouncers are scary and I don't want to be escorted out. To be honest, I wish I could just meet somebody so that I would no longer have to put up with all this fucking bullshit clubbing scene anymore. I'm feeling a bit sick of it to be honest. Don't get me wrong, in a relationship I still go out all the time, but the dynamic changes. Instead of going out to find somebody, I'm going out to enjoy the music and have fun. I do just want somebody to be honest.
I;ve just got back from an appointment with my counsellor and I'm feeling a lot more positive. We did a map which explains my behaviour and why I act the way I do and it made me feel like less of a freak, because I can now actually rationalize why I behave the way I do. She suggested that I go to my GP and get some different anti depressants from the citalopram, and that I should specifically state that I want an SSRI that doesn't have increased appetite as a side effect. Whether my GP will actually listen to that is another story though, lol, but we'll see what happens!