Let's Hope He Doesn't Jump The Gun On This
Man Colds
I’ve felt this way all day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE&feature=related
Having come down with an illness, nothing is helping. I feel at times like my throat has been cleaned out with a steel pipe cleaner and my breath is like a rusty saw against my vocal cords. Other times like my throat is filled with Jello and I can barely breath through the muck. I’ve spent most of the day playing quarters against myself with shot glasses filled with Nyquil and Excedrin. While waiting for the effects to kick in I managed to write the following note to my room mate:
"Scotty,
I had my doubts but am now certain that I have got the Ebola. If my throat clogs up to the point that I can no longer breath you have my permission and full encouragement to take a tiny, clean knife and perform an emergency tracheotomy. In the kitchen cupboard you will find an assortment of crazy straws to use as breathing tubes. While the draw on them is difficult, the only alternative was a 2 1/2 inch diameter plastic plumbing pipe that I am fairly certain would kill me. Use as many crazy straws as is necessary but try to avoid making me look like a fucking human bag-pipe.
God help us both,
~Nathan"
I’ve felt this way all day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE&feature=related
Having come down with an illness, nothing is helping. I feel at times like my throat has been cleaned out with a steel pipe cleaner and my breath is like a rusty saw against my vocal cords. Other times like my throat is filled with Jello and I can barely breath through the muck. I’ve spent most of the day playing quarters against myself with shot glasses filled with Nyquil and Excedrin. While waiting for the effects to kick in I managed to write the following note to my room mate:
"Scotty,
I had my doubts but am now certain that I have got the Ebola. If my throat clogs up to the point that I can no longer breath you have my permission and full encouragement to take a tiny, clean knife and perform an emergency tracheotomy. In the kitchen cupboard you will find an assortment of crazy straws to use as breathing tubes. While the draw on them is difficult, the only alternative was a 2 1/2 inch diameter plastic plumbing pipe that I am fairly certain would kill me. Use as many crazy straws as is necessary but try to avoid making me look like a fucking human bag-pipe.
God help us both,
~Nathan"