......-dies-
I have been up all night revising my muralness and I feel it is still shitty. Other than that I am doing ok or atleast trying to. I am doing good in school and we get out next thursday. I getting kinda wore down but then I have Christine screaming at me for something she does even know the other fucking side of or really anything about it but has to yell at me anyways! I am just really pissed at her because I thought we were friends.....appearently I was wrong. Me and Sarah broke up. I am just really confused right now about stuff but I like a guy which confuses me. I guess I just was never able to really trust guys that much since they have done so much screwy shit to me. That is why I think I am scared to get close to guys but I have been trying to ignore being attracted to them but it just fails. I am scared because I don't want to get hurt like I did with other guys I have been with. I tried to like only girls because I didn't want to have to go through what guys have done to me again and girls have never betrayed me. It just seemed alot less complicated and I really just wanted to not have to be scared of getting hurt with every guy I go out with so only liking girls is a way to avoid that. I cannot make myself only like girls though which makes things tough. I want to be with someone that I am happy with I don't really care about gender. I just need someone who is stable and cares about me. I need someone who is able to stay out of juvie, is able to trust me, is not shy, funny, and is able to take care of themselves when they need to. I think I found someone like that but I dunno I don't think they like me. I might tell them today but it is really hard to do. Well anyways I should get some sleep! Toodles.