[Fic] Perfidia (for Vacivity) - part 2 of 2
[Please read part one first]
Even the best disguises slipped once in a while. Niou knew this because he was good at deception. This was what he and Yagyuu were waiting for: the moment the other said too much, showed too much.
Mary was somewhere else in the house, listening to her favourite radio show. Niou closed the piano and headed for Yagyuu's room, shutting the door behind him.
Well, that was just far too easy. How careless of Yagyuu.
After a while, he heard the radio being turned down and Mary shouting out a greeting across the house. The reply was a lot quieter. Then Mary asked if she could invite Niou to stay for dinner, mentioned Niou was using her piano, and that was when Niou heard the rush of Yagyuu's footsteps.
Yagyuu checked the study first - Niou wasn't there. Then the footsteps became a lot softer, almost inaudible. Inside the completely dark room, Niou could see a pair of shoes through the gap under the door.
When the door flew back, Niou was on Yagyuu's bed, his shoes kicked off, his shirt open, his hand down his trousers and jerking hard.
They stared at each other.
Looking around the room, Yagyuu tried to see if anything had been touched, his gaze lingering on the safe in one corner for a bit too long. Niou had guessed as much: anything that would be of interest to him would be inside that metal box. He hadn't tried to pick the lock open. Not knowing exactly what was inside, it might once again be too much risk with too little reward.
Besides, that wasn't what he came here for.
"Hey." Niou leered, showing no intention of getting dressed. "Welcome home, Yagyuu. You've got a nice bed."
Yagyuu's teeth grazed his lower lip. "This is not the place for that. Mary - "
The radio was turned up again.
"Isn't going to hear a thing," Niou said, got onto his knees and made his way to the edge of the bed, beckoning Yagyuu. He pulled down Yagyuu's trousers, licked him until he was hard, then had sex with him.
Yagyuu was waiting for Niou to make a mistake, so Niou gave him a mistake to discover. Now that Yagyuu found it and realised he was wrong, he wouldn't pick apart everything Niou did as carefully as he did before - as carefully as he was supposed to. He'd trust Niou more. Maybe he'd even tell the maid she didn't need to keep her eyes on Niou anymore. Funny, the way people's minds worked.
Niou couldn't think of a reason more convincing than "I was waiting for you to fuck me" that would make Yagyuu find him in his room. At this stage, it didn't matter anymore. He agreed to do this knowing he was effectively becoming a whore. But whatever it took, it would all be worth it in the end. Whatever it took.
Niou unpinned Sanada's card from the notice board but didn't fill the gap with any message of his own. Fuck Sanada. He could wait.
Yagyuu was at the door. Niou let him in, but kept him in the hallway.
"At the risk of sounding like a whining bitch," Niou said, completely impassive, "you stood me up again."
"I know."
Niou smelled the alcohol in Yagyuu's breath. "I see you've eaten."
"There was trouble at work."
"Don't give me that bullshit. You could've called. I'm sick of being your whore."
"Who said that?"
"Your attitude did. The way you'll have me when you like and forget me when you don't; the way you fucked me the first time; the way you don't want me in your bed; the way you got your maid to keep her eyes on me and make sure I'm never alone in a room - I know you did so don't give me that look. I thought it was just your paranoia but clearly I've taken the wrong risk. Apparently I'm a criminal who happens to be a convenient fuck."
Niou reached for the door.
"Niou-kun..."
Niou ignored the plea. Not so easy. Yagyuu would lose interest if he was easy. And Niou was never easy to begin with.
"I do like you, Niou-kun. You are different."
"'Different' can mean too many things." Niou scowled, hiding his surprise at Yagyuu's words. He was about to open the door when Yagyuu slumped against the wall.
"A large shipment got delayed, and then went missing altogether. I have been trying to find a resolution with the shipping company. I failed to call because I'm not used to... relationships. I apologise."
"Don't shit me. Entire shipments don't go missing."
"It has happened. They must have thought making me drink would avert the crisis."
"Whatever it is," Niou reached for the door again, but Yagyuu wouldn't let him. "I don't need to know. It's got nothing to do with me and I don't want anything to do with you. We're done."
The light in Yagyuu's eyes seemed to have dimmed a little, but it could just be the alcohol. "Please."
"Don't bother. You - " Niou stopped when Yagyuu moved forward to embrace him.
"Please."
"Find yourself a new whore."
"To me, you're..."
Niou waited, but Yagyuu didn't finish the sentence.
"I'll make it up to you." His face buried in Niou's shoulder, Yagyuu mumbled the words.
"Like how?"
"Tell me what you want me to do." Yagyuu started kissing Niou's neck, his hands going to rest on either side of Niou's hips, partly to help his balance, partly just because. "I'll do anything."
"You're drunk, aren't you."
"Possibly. Yes."
"Fuck off, Yagyuu." This wasn't meant to go this far, but Niou couldn't help it. There were things he wanted to test. "There are loads of people queuing up waiting for you to fuck them. You don't need me."
"But they are not you."
Niou snorted. "Oh, come on. I'm not twelve." He tried to ignore the hands on the front of his trousers. "This ain't gonna solve anything, Yagyuu."
"We're alike." The clips of the braces came off, then the zipper came undone. "You are just like me."
Niou froze for a second when Yagyuu sank to his knees. What was Yagyuu doing? And what the hell did he just say?
"Now you sound like you just wanna fuck yourself." Hands freed Niou from his trousers and underwear. Yagyuu was kissing him down there. "You're fucking sick." This man, this selfish and proud bastard, was on his knees and wrapping his lips around one of Niou's balls and sucking it and Niou was getting hard faster than ever. "Shit..."
Yagyuu pulled back briefly to take off his glasses, dropping them to the floor. Niou put his hands in Yagyuu's hair to hold him back.
"I'm trying to leave you, jerk."
"Don't." Yagyuu's eyes were definitely glazed over now, his words slurring more. "I need you." He leaned forward again and Niou let go. He said something more, but he said it with Niou's cock in his mouth and the vibrations made Niou's mind go blank.
Maybe Yagyuu was just drunk. Maybe Yagyuu was actually in love with him. Maybe it was a bit of both. Maybe this was a trick to make Niou drop his defences. But right now Yagyuu was blowing him and Niou really just didn't care. He moaned, hands resting on Yagyuu's shoulders, encouraging him to go on. Suck harder. Go deeper. Yes, put that finger - yes, there, keep doing it. Hm... hmm... g-gonna come soon. Yagyuu... let go, I'm gonna... really, just - oh God. Oh God. Yagyuu. Ngh... ah...
Afterwards, Niou called Yagyuu's driver to come and take Yagyuu home after agreeing to give him another chance. Yagyuu wouldn't want to sleep over - far too dangerous and Niou didn't want to deal with him when he woke in the morning and wondered what the hell he had done to his own pride. If what happened wasn't an act. If it was, then Niou could see what Yagyuu meant when he said they were just like each other.
The next day, Niou went to Yagyuu's house as normal. Yagyuu didn't go to work. He sat, listening to Niou practise on the piano, followed by Mary's lesson, staying silent the whole time.
Niou couldn't tell what was going through Yagyuu's mind.
Yagyuu stood when Niou was about to leave.
"Good night, Niou-kun."
Niou eyed him. "What's happening with your shipment?"
"The port might cover my losses, but I can't be sure at the moment. Twisting Atobe Keigo's arm over the phone is not the same as doing it in person. He is not someone I trust very much."
"Teaches you something about working with people you actually trust, then." Niou shrugged on his jacket. "Then again, who I am I talk? I wouldn't have a job here if that was the case."
"Atobe used to be easy to work with, before the invasion."
"Huh."
"Niou-kun, about last night..."
"I said let's try again." Niou said quickly. There was no point in making Yagyuu feel embarrassed or undermined by this 'relationship' thing. It was meant to be a way to reaffirm the fact that Niou was serious about it and felt hurt when he was neglected, a way to convince Yagyuu that Niou was in love with him, but it had gone overboard. "So let's try again."
Yagyuu quietly cleared his throat. "I meant every word I said."
Niou stared for a moment, then smiled.
So he wasn't the only one who knew how to take one step back in order to take two steps forward. Somehow, he had a feeling Yagyuu was getting the upper hand in this game.
The tickets were for a performance in two hours' time. Box seats.
"A wife can go. A mistress can go. You can even put a whore in a nice dress and get her to hang off your arm." Niou put the tickets down. "Why don't you take Mary?"
"She would not enjoy it."
"Neither would I. Besides, it's just not done."
"What isn't?"
"Us." Niou pointed at himself, then at Yagyuu.
"Do I look like I care, Niou-kun?"
Niou leaned back when Yagyuu stepped up behind him, a hand wrapping around his waist, bringing their bodies together.
"Heh. So the upper class play by a different set of rules even for this sort of thing? Or do you only follow the rules that suit you?" A hand reached back to remove Yagyuu's glasses. Niou put them on his face.
Yagyuu gave it a thought. "A bit of both."
"I don't have anything to wear."
"I don't suggest you go in the nude; you might catch a cold."
"Your clothes might fit me."
Yagyuu let go of Niou and gave him a gentle nudge towards the wardrobe.
"I was kidding."
"We need to head out soon."
Niou put his hands on the wardrobe doors, wondering for a split second if this was a trap - were there people inside, ready to jump out and take him to the execution grounds? No, of course not. Mary was in the house too.
He picked out a suit and changed, straightening his clothes and patting down his hair in front of a mirror. "How do I look?" He was still wearing Yagyuu's gold-framed glasses. "A bit like you, hmm?"
Yagyuu got a comb and ran it through Niou's hair. Their eyes met on the mirror's reflection.
"Now what, you put on my clothes and be me?"
Yagyuu let the faintest hint of amusement show on his face. "I could, if you like."
"There are a lot of things I'd like."
Yagyuu was already getting changed. Niou just stared. Yagyuu was doing more and more for him, they were spending more and more time together. Maybe, when he was not paying attention, they had really become lovers.
The play was forgettable, people with painted faces playing make-believe. Amateurs. Not half an hour in and Niou was already yawning. No matter how engrossing the story was, crap acting meant crap play.
He glanced to the side. Yagyuu was looking at him, had been for the last few minutes. He inclined his head, peering at Yagyuu from above the rim of his borrowed glasses, one corner of his lips turning up several degrees. "Are you enjoying the show, Niou-kun?" he asked with a lowered voice.
"Not so much the show, but I'm enjoying myself."
Niou tsk-ed. "Enjoying yourself, in my presence? Would you not want me to enjoy you instead?"
Yagyuu ignored the suggestion, but there was only so much ignoring he could do when the other man moved their chairs together and a hand found his thigh.
"Niou-kun."
Niou leaned close, blowing hot breath on Yagyuu's neck.
"Niou-kun, not here."
The hand moved towards Yagyuu's crotch, fingers finding the zipper. Yagyuu breathed out. "Yagyuu."
"Yes?" Niou sucked on Yagyuu's neck, tasting the salt on his skin. The glasses were getting in the way; he never realised how much skill it took to do this with those things on the face. Not that this would make him develop new respect for Yagyuu.
Yagyuu's hand caught Niou's. "Not here."
Despite the words, Niou felt the flesh under his hand responding even without him having done anything yet. "Just stay quiet." A few more kisses, a few light nibbles along the jaw - Yagyuu always loved that - and the hand let go.
With the chairs' handles in the way, this was more difficult to do than Niou first thought. It was worth it though, just seeing the way Yagyuu was reacting to his touch, face blushing a light pink, eyebrows knotting, breathing becoming heavier. Niou pressed his lips on Yagyuu's neck once more, smiling. "I enjoy you enjoying yourself," he whispered, pulling off his glasses before sliding off the chair and kneeling between Yagyuu's knees. "Make sure no one hear you."
Yagyuu rolled his lips and bit down on them when Niou started to suck his cock, then shut his eyes when Niou forced himself to take a bit more, and a bit more. Niou gagged, but he wouldn't stop, dragging his tongue hard along Yagyuu's length, then trying again.
"Don't." Yagyuu mouthed the word, then realised Niou couldn't see. "Don't," he tried again, his voice hitching. "You don't need to."
Niou didn't listen. Around them, music started to play, the actors' voices rising, drowning Yagyuu's gasp when his cock was squeezed gently. Niou sucked harder, bobbing his head, pushing Yagyuu's cock all the way into his mouth, his mind blank except for the desire to bring Yagyuu to climax. It took over him as intensely as sensations took over Yagyuu, and even if someone walked in on them now, or if the whole theatre was looking at them, he wasn't going to stop.
He had return to the favour from the other night. That was all. Nothing more to it.
Something was rubbing against his face. Yagyuu was holding a handkerchief, trying to get his attention. He was going to come soon. Niou pushed that hand away and kept going, feeling Yagyuu shudder, and then his body freezing up.
On the stage below, a character died in a surprise plot twist and the audience gasped.
Yagyuu relaxed on his chair. Niou wiped his mouth then tucked Yagyuu back in, not a drop soiling his clothes.
Damn. Now he was hard.
"Perhaps we can go somewhere after this?" Niou put the glasses back on, still sticking to his Yagyuu impersonation. He didn't get an answer, but it wasn't really a question anyway.
The play wasn't half way through yet and there would be a long time to wait. Not that Niou would stay hard for that long, but he couldn't wait to get out of this place. Satiated, Yagyuu watched Niou with mild but obvious amusement. "There is some obligatory socialising to do after the play."
Niou had to stop himself from swearing.
"You will enjoy yourself, Yagyuu."
Yagyuu was right - the sheer ridiculousness of the crowds at the hall was great fun. A bunch of foreigners, statesmen, nouveau riche bastards and their ornaments attempting to socialise and flaunt. Niou joined the circle, said he was Yagyuu Hiroshi and please, do excuse the state of his cousin's appearance, he has just arrived after a long journey and Yagyuu thought it would be good to show him a bit of high society.
After they left the theatre, Niou pulled his rat tail free from under the jacket and ran a hand through his hair, shaking it free so that it was something between his usual look and Yagyuu's carefully sculpted style.
"It's hard work, being you."
"Did you have fun?"
They got in the car.
"Being you? Sure. But I'd have even more fun doing you."
After a bit of silence, Yagyuu leaned forward to slide open the privacy window that separated them from the driver, telling the man to take them to the hotel.
For a brief moment, Niou saw the driver's profile and his heart stopped.
"New guy?"
"My usual driver is unwell." Yagyuu studied Niou's face. "What is it?"
"Don't like the smell of this one," Niou mumbled, though there was no reason their conversation could be heard through that window. "What if he tells the papers about us? Everyone loves a good scandal."
"I've told you already: I don't give a damn."
"Until your business closes down and you lose everything. Do you know what being poor's like?"
Despite Niou's sudden anxiety, Yagyuu was calm. "I can pay him better than any newspaper would for such a story. Does this reassure you?"
"I'm just worried about my job." Niou looked out the window, but a hand on his chin turned his face back.
"Really?"
"I thought you'd appreciate my hones-"
Niou reached forward blindly and pulled the cord for the curtains, so that no one, including the driver, could see Yagyuu kissing him.
The car simply continued on, the journey steady and smooth. Stopping outside the hotel, Niou went inside without waiting for Yagyuu to tell Sanada to take the car home. What did they think they were doing? What did Sanada think he was doing, suddenly showing up like that, posing as a driver? If Yagyuu didn't trust him as much as he did now, he would have been able to tell there was more to Niou's tension than what he said it was and Niou and Sanada would both be on their way to jail now.
Yagyuu went to the reception to get a room. Niou stayed some distance away, restless from Sanada's stunt and the making-out back in the car. Yagyuu seemed to have sensed the agitation; as soon as he got the key, he took Niou's hand and all but dragged him to the room, shoving him inside.
When the door was locked, Niou pushed pride and logic to the back of his mind.
Sex with Yagyuu was about being taken apart, even when Yagyuu was gentle. It was about telling himself this was what he had to do, and admitting to himself this was what he wanted to do: to feel that pleasure, to see Yagyuu losing himself inside him, to feel themselves clinging to each other, searching for something. To watch, for a few brief seconds, Yagyuu falling apart, too. It almost made Niou feel as though Yagyuu needed him. That Yagyuu was vulnerable, just like him. That Yagyuu felt just the way he did.
And this brought tears to Niou's eyes. He couldn't say why. He lay there, legs spread, panting, an arm over his eyes, wishing this would end now, that Sanada would come in and put bullets in Yagyuu's head and tell Niou he didn't need to feel any of this anymore.
Yagyuu was pumping Niou now, his hand slippery with something. Niou didn't look, instead just waited for the moment he was robbed of himself again.
He pulled his arm away from his eyes when he felt Yagyuu sitting down. On him. His cock in Yagyuu's ass. Tight. Hot.
"Fuck. Yagyuu, oh my God." Words flew from Niou's mouth, jumbled and nonsensical and incoherent when Yagyuu moved very slowly, shuddering as he pulled himself up, shuddering as he lowered himself again. He did it once more before leaning down. Niou could feel Yagyuu's lips brushing against his ear.
"You said you wanted to do me, did you not?" Yagyuu whispered the question, moving his hips again, his breath hitching once as he did so.
Niou tried to reply. "Gotta make sure I let you know what I want from now on," or "I didn't think you'd take me seriously," or "I never imagined you'd let me fuck you," or simply, "I did say that." But he could not even voice the thing he wanted to say the most, with only one word - why?
With a loud grunt, Niou flipped them over, pressing Yagyuu beneath him, his hips starting to buck frantically right away. His eyes fixed on Niou's and his teeth clenched, Yagyuu didn't make a sound. If Niou was hurting him, he didn't show it.
The whole bed rocked from Niou's thrusting. Grabbing Yagyuu's ankle, Niou hooked one of Yagyuu's legs over his shoulder, the way it was done to him sometimes, so that he could get deeper inside. With each push, a bit more of Yagyuu's calm seemed to crumble to dust. With each push, Niou felt something change between them - or realised what had been changing while he spent all his time thinking about what he was meant to do.
Yagyuu parted his lips, threw his head back, squeezed his eyes shut. His moans were quiet, but strangely loud in a room where there were no other sounds apart from the creaking of the bed and the slapping of flesh.
They clung to each other when Niou laid himself on top of Yagyuu, moving his hips excruciatingly slowly now, his cock repeatedly rubbing against a spot that left Yagyuu making mewling noises that sounded like a mix of pleasure and pain. He covered his eyes with a hand as if to hide from the embarrassment. Niou kept going, feeling Yagyuu coming beneath him before he came inside Yagyuu, everything becoming bright white as pleasure and emotions crashed over him.
He pulled out, nudged himself off Yagyuu and lay on the bed, chest down. Turning his head to one side, he saw Yagyuu covering his eyes again. Perhaps the light was hurting them. Or he was uncomfortable without his glasses. Niou rolled onto his side, grasped Yagyuu's arm and tugged Yagyuu towards him, so that he could hold the man as sex-induced sleep began to take over. They never slept together before - Yagyuu normally went home after they were done, and Niou would stay at the hotel for the night - but there was a first time for everything. Holding each other, he could be sure Yagyuu would not be reaching for a hidden weapon to kill him with.
Niou tried to convince himself that was the reason.
Soon, Yagyuu became still. It was a while later that Niou realised the hand on his back, the same hand Yagyuu had been covering his eyes with, was wet.
"Hey, fancy seeing you here."
Yukimura looked towards the source of the voice. "Oh, hi there," he smiled, quickly removing the card he had just put up on the notice board. "It's been a while. How are you?"
"Good, good," said Niou. He cocked his head towards the exit. "Let's go for a drink, and catch up?"
They took the long way, made sure they weren't being followed before going to the bar, and then upstairs to the flat.
Niou looked around. Sanada wasn't in. In fact, the two of them were the only ones here.
"I have some names for you. Mizuki Hajime - works in St Rudolph's on Fifth Street. He likes to hang around diners' tables and listen in on conversations. Snoops around for incorrect behaviour and then report them for rewards. He's the one who landed Yamabuki in hot water."
Yukimura sighed. "Yamabuki learned their lesson the hard way; there are eyes and ears everywhere. Do you know any more of them?"
Niou gave a few more names. Yukimura jotted some notes down in a shorthand that Niou couldn't read and bet nobody else could either.
"But those are the small fries. I've got a big fish for you."
"And that is?"
"Atobe Keigo."
Yukimura frowned. "As in the shipping giant, of Atobe Ports?"
"The very same one. He's letting some of his ports be taken over. Some tanks are arriving by water. One of Yagyuu's major shipments got lost coz Atobe's swapping things around to accommodate and made a huge mess."
"Do you have the details?"
"Bits and pieces... where's Sanada?"
"Hmm?" Yukimura lowered his pen.
"I needa talk to him." Damn. Niou wasn't going to mention this until he had given Yukimura everything he had so far.
"I don't think he's got anything to do today, so - " They both turned around when they heard the front door. "There he is."
Sanada glanced at the others in the flat, then calmly closed and locked the door. Niou stood.
"What the hell did you think you were doing?"
"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Sanada crossed the front room, but maintained his distance. "Dressed up in his clothes and telling people you're Yagyuu Hiroshi?"
"That's called a game, Sanada. It's what lovers sometimes do: play games."
"You're enjoying yourself far too much."
"What?" Niou stormed up to Sanada, hands grabbing the lapels of Sanada's shirt. "Say that again, I dare you!"
Yukimura was on his feet too. "Explain to me what is going on!" he demanded, forcing Niou to let go.
"He went to drive Yagyuu's car for a few days without telling me first! What about team work and keeping people informed?"
Yukimura's eyes widened. "I told you not to do it," he said to Sanada, his voice almost a growl.
"I wanted to know what is happening. You haven't been giving us a complete picture."
"What's happening?" Niou reached for Sanada again, but the man stepped back and Yukimura caught his arm. He struggled to keep his voice cool. "What do you want me to tell you? How part A goes into slot B? How he toys with me, waiting for the day I slip up? How he doesn't just fuck me in the ass, but in the head too? How he's doing everything he can to make me fall for him," Niou paused to take a breath. "so that I'll be even more humiliated than I am right now when I'm caught?"
When, not if. At the rate things were going, it was only a matter of time.
"Is he succeeding?" Sanada's eyes were cold. "Are you in love with him? Is that why you haven't given us a single piece of useful information so far?"
Yukimura put himself between the two men. "Take those words back - you know how much pressure he's under and the risks he's taking. He's just been telling me what he's found out. We have names. And locations."
Everyone fell silent.
Finally, Niou turned away. "I know you never trusted me." Suddenly he was resigned, the tension just moments ago evaporating in an instant. "Yukimura, I'll tell you the rest." He stuffed his hands into trousers pockets and headed for one of the rooms, went inside and waited. It took a while for Yukimura to follow.
"I don't think he distrusts you. He just wants to do something. He's really worried about you and wants to give you some support somehow. I don't know why he can't just say so."
Niou lit a cigarette. "You don't need to say anything."
"I'm not putting in a good word for him. I really do think he's afraid for you, just like the rest of us." A hand rubbed the scarred flesh of the other hand. Yukimura seemed to do this whenever he was thinking hard. He sighed. "He was the last person to see Marui alive. Apparently Marui told him everything was going swimmingly. And then he was gone, never went home, never answered our cards or calls. Just disappeared."
"How about the fact that he never wanted me to come back in the first place?"
Yukimura didn't have an answer to that question.
"You know, it doesn't matter." Niou's face vanished behind a cloud of smoke for a moment. "Doesn't matter anymore."
He used to think he had to prove Sanada wrong, but not anymore. He would just do what he had to do.
Sanada was right about him all along.
Hobbling across the room, Niou tried work out which way to pick up his trousers would hurt less: bending down or kicking them up.
Yagyuu watched him. "Are you in a hurry?"
"Today's Sunday."
"And?"
"Tomorrow's Monday. I figured the 'staying over' option isn't available." Niou went to the bathroom to clean himself up a bit before pulling clothes on.
Yagyuu saw no point in hiding the fact that he could never be located for that one day every week. "Don't you want to know?"
Niou poked his head out of the doorway. "Do you want me to know?"
Their eyes met. Niou shrugged and went back to finish tending to himself. "If you don't want me to know, then don't ask that question in the first place."
"I just cannot tell you."
After a while, Niou leaned against the doorway, zipping up his trousers. "You want to tell me but you can't." He inched himself towards Yagyuu. His legs hurt so damn much from being stretched and held in odd positions, and he didn't even want to think about his ass. "You could always tell me, then knock me out with a brick. I won't remember a thing when I wake up."
"I am in a difficult position." Yagyuu sighed at Niou's attitude. He petted the bed. "Sit down."
"I'd rather not now that I've stood up. I was in rather difficult positions just now," Niou said with a grin.
"Your walk is pathetic. Sleep here tonight. I don't need to leave until late morning."
"Whose fault do you think that is?" Niou sat down. He just got dressed but decided he would put up with wrinkled trousers tomorrow. "Ow, fuck. You aren't touching my ass for the rest of the month."
Yagyuu just petted the bed again. Niou heaved a dramatic sigh and lay down.
"Are you hurt?"
"Don't know. Don't think so. I'll check tomorrow." Niou rolled onto his side. "So, you've got a toy boy stashed away somewhere. I want to meet him."
Yagyuu frowned. "It's work."
"Right. Coz I'd feel rather sorry for him, only getting you a day a week. Thought I could go and say hi."
Yagyuu turned on his side too, facing Niou, an eyebrow arched.
"Yeah. I'm jealous of an imaginary love rival," said Niou. "Sue me."
"It's work."
"Work work?"
"Yes, it's related."
"Then don't tell me. I'm a spy." Niou turned around to face away from Yagyuu. He closed his eyes when he felt Yagyuu's fingers in his hair.
"I can't tell anyone at all. I'm sorry."
"That big a secret?"
Yagyuu didn't answer. He pulled up the covers and moved himself closer. Niou laughed once. "It's only a day a week. I guess I'll live."
No use pushing Yagyuu on this; Niou knew he had to try some other method. And he liked the way Yagyuu was playing with his hair and didn't want to say anything that would make him stop.
Sitting on the grassy bank of the river, his eyes closed, Niou didn't see Sanada's approach, but he noticed the sound of grass crunching underfoot and a shadow falling over him, blocking the sun temporarily. When Sanada moved to sit down beside him, he saw red again, the colour of blood in his eyelids.
This kind of place was far too bright for his liking, but it was private. Even Yukimura didn't know this place.
"All this time and he still doesn't tell me what his big Monday secret is," he said. "But I'll find out somehow."
Sanada cleared his throat. "Niou, I'm - "
"You're right." Niou glanced at Sanada once, then closed his eyes again. "What you said. I'm enjoying myself. I'm a fairy. I - "
"That wasn't what I meant."
" - like taking it up the ass. You're - "
"Shut up." Anxiety coloured Sanada's voice.
" - right, I'm - "
An explosion of pain silenced Niou. He covered his chin with a hand by reflex, smirking.
"That's enough!"
"I'm in love with him." Niou dipped his head, his hands curling into fists, trembling. "Goddammit! That son-of-a-bitch!"
Yagyuu had won.
Sanada took a deep breath, lowering his hand. He looked tired and in need of some sun. Niou was glad he chose this place; Sanada had always been the type to worry about his duties before he worried about himself.
"I didn't bring you back because this isn't your place."
"Not worth your time. Hollow. I know. You were right not to trust me to begin with."
"No. You joined me because there was no other choice for you at the time. You convinced yourself this is what you believe in. If there had been someone else, or if I asked you to join me in something completely different, I think your life would have turned out completely different," said Sanada. "I realised I made the wrong decision. When the old base got busted..."
Sanada tried to use it an an excuse to let Niou go. Niou buried his face in his hands. "Oh my God." He laughed humourlessly when it all sank in. "How about the country? Driving out the foreigners and all that?"
Sanada looked at the river. "It's my goal, but I couldn't bear the responsibility of forcing it to be yours as well, even if it meant losing a vital part of our strength as a group."
Niou just kept laughing.
"Yukimura spent months convincing me to bring you back. I shouldn't have listened to him. I tried telling him you aren't the man we want."
Niou understood. Yukimura was a man who had his mind set on the final result and believed in sacrifices. And nobody could blame him for that.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm part of the group and you aren't getting rid of me." There might be truth to what Sanada said, there might not be, but it didn't matter anymore at this stage. Niou had gone too far now. And he was in love with a man who was his enemy and who had killed one of his closest friends. "Gotta finish what we started. I'm not a traitor."
The country might not be important, but there were Sanada, Yukimura and everyone who were depending on him. And Marui. Niou couldn't betray them now. He could betray his own feelings; he knew either he or Yagyuu was going to die when he agreed to do this, so whatever he felt now was his own fault. And he could betray Yagyuu because he never said they were on the same side. Yagyuu made it clear in the beginning he only cared about himself. Everything that followed was just acting. A bit of fun. He said it himself: we could entertain each other.
"Let's kill him after I find out what his Monday thing is. Might be some big military secret. He won't be useful after that." The sun was so strong Niou had to squint to see Sanada. His eyes hurt and everything seemed blurry. "I can do it. I see him practically everyday, I can kill him without causing a huge fuss."
Sitting straight, his back as stiff as ever, Sanada gripped his knees, trying to find the right words. "It's not that I don't trust you, but if you find it too difficult, the group can always do it."
"Stop being nice; it ruins your reputation. Remember your priorities." Niou got up, brushing bits of grass from himself. "I still remember mine."
Time to see who would make it to the finish line.
Mary only shrugged when Niou asked if they could cancel the lesson today. He was in no mood to teach. He arrived early and spent hours by himself in the study, just playing the piano, and nobody checked on him or came to see if he really was just going to the bathroom whenever the music stopped. Yagyuu was getting really slack these days. Or maybe there just wasn't anything important at home for Niou to discover.
Yagyuu came home at around lunch hour. Following the music, he looked into the study. "You are here. This is good; I was going to look for you."
"You're home early," said Niou with mild surprise. He stopped playing when Yagyuu approached and gave him a small, hard leather case.
"Here."
Niou frowned, puzzled. The case was heavier than it looked. He put it on his lap and opened it, drawing a sharp breath before he could stop himself.
A gun. One that was definitely made for practicality, small enough to sit comfortably Niou's palm and be kept in a coat pocket unnoticed.
What was this supposed to mean? Was this Yagyuu's way to say their time was up? Was it an invitation for Niou to take his own life before he was taken away and tortured for information on the rest of the group?
"Are you trying to say something?"
"Yes. Happy birthday, Niou-kun."
It took a while for Niou to realise that Yagyuu was right, it was his birthday.
"I considered getting a piano for you, but I would like you to keep coming here."
That sounded almost sweet. Niou would have smiled if he didn't have the leather case on his lap. "So why a pistol?"
Yagyuu nudged his glasses. "Why not? It's useful. Many people carry one on their persons nowadays for self-protection."
Niou managed to smile then. Whether or not there was a message behind this, Yagyuu remembered his birthday. Very few people ever did, including himself. "Every time I think I finally understand you, you do something that surprises me." Niou took the gun out of the case and stroked the cool metal. It wasn't loaded, but there was a clip in the case as well. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"You ditched work for me?"
"It is not 'ditching' when one is one's own boss."
Niou snorted. "So how was work?"
Silence. It was Monday. Niou considered loading the gun and holding it against Yagyuu's temple until he talked. And when Yagyuu spilled the beans, Niou could pull the trigger.
He imagined the recoil shooting up his arm, throwing him back. In that split second, the bullet would enter Yagyuu's head on one side and come out the other. He would slump to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut as the sound of gunfire echoed in Niou's ear.
And this would be all over.
"Quite decent." Yagyuu's voice brought Niou's mind back. "It's almost over."
Almost over. "The work is?"
"In a few days' time, I believe."
Only a few days left to find the truth, then. Or could this be a trap to lure Niou into action?
Niou put the gun down and closed the case. He stood, yanked Yagyuu towards himself and kissed him. Soon one of them was going to die. Whichever way things were going to go, Niou knew he had lost this game already. He might as well make the most out of what was left.
The news came in a small trickle at first and Niou ignored it the way he always did, but there was a strange buzz in the air, like thunder was charging up and getting ready to strike. One day, the radio said another claim of corruption had been proven in court. Another day saw speculation that the late statesman Yagyuu didn't die of a heart attack and was, in fact, murdered. There was hearsay of officials from the previous government who sought asylum in other countries going into hiding, more records of fighter plane purchases being discovered.
The day shit hit the fan, Niou went to the safe house rather than to teach Mary's piano lesson.
With everyone in one place, they were a huge group. They were all silent as the news rolled on TV, familiar figures that once ruled this country coming out to admit that yes, there was an invasion plan. Yes, money had changed hands under the table. But they had been misunderstood and this was for the sake of making this country strong -
The screen turned black when Yukimura switched the power off. They had seen this countless of times since the troops found the secret war rooms and the fleet of planes and tanks hidden at one of the harbour ports.
"We've been fools." Yukimura's scarred hand curled into a fist, but he was otherwise composed. He scanned the room. "There is no more that I can say. If you wish to go, do so, and I wish you well."
It took a while for the first person to move, walking up to Yukimura, shaking his hand and sharing a smile before leaving. One by one, the group dissolved, some giving Yukimura a hug, some sharing a few words with him. Some wept.
And then there was only a handful left. It didn't surprise Niou that they were all from Sanada's original group.
"What do you intend to do now, Seiichi?" Yanagi asked.
"Push for democratic elections," said Yukimura, his gaze as hard as ever. "This occupation, no matter the reason, can't continue forever."
"Then count me in." Yanagi said. The rest of them also nodded.
Yukimura turned to Niou then. "Niou... I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."
Smoking at a corner the sun from the window couldn't reach, Niou just shrugged. "'s fine."
"No, really, I..." Yukimura shook his head, the calm he displayed earlier wavering a little. "I should have listened to Sanada. It's fine if you don't want to forgive me. I don't deserve it."
"No, really. I'm relieved. Maybe I can just be a music teacher now." Niou pushed himself off the wall, went to Yukimura and shook his hand, feeling the rough, dry skin of a hand that was almost too painful to look at. They had all paid a price, some more than others, for the lies they had believed in. Niou felt he was the lucky one in the end.
Then he held out his hand at Sanada. Sanada stepped forward, pulled him in and clapped him on the back.
"That's it?" A voice said.
Sanada let Niou go and looked at the source of the voice. "Jackal."
"We're all happy about this?" Jackal's eyes were wide, bulging out of their sockets. He was shaking, and his shaved head was covered with a thin sheen of sweat.
Niou breathed out, blowing cigarette smoke. "Yagyuu told me a long time ago his dad was murdered for trying to stop the invasion plot. I didn't believe him."
"And that makes it all right for him to do what he did? Are we forgetting something? If that man can have his personal revenge, shouldn't we be doing the same for Bunta?"
Nobody knew what to say.
Finally, Sanada put a hand on Jackal's shoulder. "A lot of people have died - "
Jackal knocked the hand off. "And every one of them was important."
"If every death is to be avenged with another, when do you stop?"
Jackal was backing away towards the door. Niou exchanged a look with Yanagi; it was clear no words were going to get through to Jackal. "Grab him," Yanagi mouthed the words, lunging forward, and Niou did the same, but Jackal ran, flinging the door open and disappearing from sight in seconds. Both Yanagi and Niou lost balance, stumbling forward.
"Get him before he does something stupid. Quick!" Niou shouted.
Sanada and Kirihara sprang into action and gave chase. They came back half an hour later with no Jackal in sight.
"Shit." Niou knew what was going to happen next: Jackal would try to kill Yagyuu. He would either succeed or die trying. "Shit!"
Jackal shouldn't be hard to find. He would go where Yagyuu was.
"I'll stay with Yagyuu. Follow us wherever we go, you're bound to find him eventually."
There were many people milling around on the streets, not doing anything in particular. Some of them looked resentful, some relieved. Some were chatting with the patrolling troops. For the first time, the ice that was the tension between soldiers and civilians melted by tiny amounts.
Jackal wouldn't do anything in the middle of such a crowd. He wouldn't be able to get a clear line of sight or be sure he could kill Yagyuu with one blow. And Jackal was a good man who would not hurt innocent bystanders.
"What is the meaning of this, Niou-kun?"
"It's a great place for beef. The steak house last week was nice, but compared with this one?" Niou grinned. "You'll see what I mean."
Yagyuu looked amused. "I am referring to this." He pointed at Niou, then at himself.
"Ah, this." Niou slowed his pace and whispered, "it turns me on."
Yagyuu had no reply to that. Niou leered at him and kept on walking, knowing Jackal, Sanada and Yukimura were all somewhere in this crowd.
He took Yagyuu to a restaurant. A waiter took their orders.
"I didn't realise you like doing this so much," said Yagyuu, checking his hair.
"Oh come on." Niou folded his arms on the table and leaned forward. "I can tell it's doing something for you too, Niou-kun."
"Am I the only person who has ever worn this wig?"
"Are you the one with the imaginary love rival now?"
Yagyuu snorted quietly, but he suddenly looked thoughtful in a way Niou had never seen before.
"I'd like to take you somewhere after the meal."
"Where?"
"The place I go to once a week. I would like you to come with me."
Words almost left Niou's mouth before he could hold them back. Whatever it was that Yagyuu did, it should be over. If he had told the truth that night, he shouldn't have to go back there again. If he told the truth.
Perhaps Yagyuu was going to hand him over. Perhaps Yagyuu was going to kill him now that the game was no longer interesting. And to think Niou was trying to protect him from Jackal...
Niou's thoughts came to an abrupt stop when he spotted movement out of the corner of his eyes. Jackal. Coming up to the window close to where they sat. And at a distance, Sanada running towards him. But he wasn't going to be fast enough.
Niou knocked a fork off his side of the table. "Oopsie daisy." He peeked under the table. "It's on your side. Could you help me get that please, Niou-kun?"
An eyebrow arched, half amused and half annoyed, Yagyuu ducked under the table to retrieve the cutlery.
Niou saw Jackal pull out a gun. There was no room for him to run and Yagyuu had occupied what little space there was under the table. And there was no reason for Jackal not to believe the man sitting there with brown hair and glasses was Yagyuu Hiroshi.
Well, it was stupid, to die for a man who never loved him and was probably going to kill him later himself. But Niou realised he didn't want to see a bullet going into Yagyuu's head. He didn't want to watch Yagyuu fall like a puppet with strings cut. This time, he could not betray his own feelings. And if this inability to ignore his feelings meant he betrayed his own life, then so be it.
"Niou-kun!"
He didn't see what happened, but suddenly Yagyuu was in front of him. Then there was a bang, glass shattered, people screamed, then Yagyuu was slumped over him, with a hole in his back.
Yagyuu.
Yagyuu.
"Fuck!" Niou held the man in his arm, suddenly hysterical. "What's this supposed to mean? You aren't supposed to do this!" He squeezed Yagyuu tight. "Yagyuu! Shit! YAGYUU!"
A hand gripped the shirt on Niou's back. Yagyuu lifted his head, his face pale and contorted with pain. He tried to say something. Niou bowed his head so that he could hear the faint whisper.
Outside, Jackal and Sanada stood frozen, not believing what they just saw. But survival instinct soon kicked in and they were gone before the police arrived. Niou didn't know. He didn't care. Yagyuu was in his arms with a bullet inside him and Niou just didn't care about anything else anymore.
Yagyuu was right. They were quite alike, after all.
Fingers rapped the front door, its hollow construction and cheap wood making the sound all the louder. Instead of waiting for the occupants to answer, the rapping kept on going until the door opened.
"Yo." The visitor waved, then went inside. "You guys got any food? I'm really hungry here."
"Bun... Bunta."
Marui Bunta grinned, showing bright white teeth. "Thought I was dead, huh?"
Jackal stared for a long while, his mouth wide open with shock. There were tears in his eyes. "How... what happened to you?"
The rest of what remained of the group heard the voices and gathered in the front room, every one of them stunned.
Marui threw himself onto a sofa. "That Yagyuu got me locked up in jail. I guess he paid someone some monies to keep me there."
"We thought you were killed."
"Nah. I got fed nice and all that, just not allowed out. Yagyuu was convinced I'd just try to throw my life away again somehow." Marui shrugged. "I didn't believe him when he told me I was on the wrong side... but I've seen the news now. He promised to let me go when I got proved wrong, so yeah. Weird though, it was Niou who came for me. What happened to Yagyuu? And what are you guys doing these days? And is there any food around? Oh my God Jackal, are you crying?"
Jackal sat down beside Marui and buried his face in his hands. Laughing, Marui rubbed Jackal's shaved head.
"You're such a git."
The man at the corner shop recognised Niou and got the usual cigarettes for him, but Niou told him he'd changed brands and bought the expensive ones instead.
Out of habit, he glanced at the noticeboard on his way out, and spotted something. There was an advertisement for a piano teacher written in familiar handwriting, but there were no contact details on the card. Niou laughed. He took it down, wrote an advertisement for an annoying asshole on the other side, and pinned it back up.
He went home afterwards.
"Still not a peep about the fact that you got shot."
"Money well spent then."
"You lie to everyone, don't you?"
"I have never lied to you." An eyebrow rose. It was answered with slow blinking. "I just don't want Mary to know. As far as she is concerned, I am on a business trip."
"Yeah I know, I know. And staying in hospital's bound to get you noticed."
"Actually, that was only an excuse for me to come and stay at your house for a while."
Laughter. "I like you honest. By the way, do you know what this means, you having to lie on your chest all the time?"
A pause, and then, "oh, please don't even think about it."
More laughter, and then silence. Niou went to his record player, found the song he wanted in his small pile of vinyls. After some amplified scratchings, the needle found the right groove and Niou started humming along to the Mexican music. Yagyuu chucked - carefully so as not to jostle his healing wound - when he recognised the tune.
"Play that on the piano for me."
Body swaying to the rhythm in a way that was more to amuse than to please, Niou rolled his eyes in thought, then sighed dramatically, as if he was being asked to do a huge favour.
"Could be arranged, I suppose."
The music continued. Niou sashayed his way to the bed. The edge of the mattress dipped when he sat down. His fingertips touched Yagyuu's bandages lightly.
"Hey."
"Yes?"
"Thanks."
"You were trying to do the same for me."
Eyes looked away. A cigarette was lit and shared.
They fell asleep next to each other, with no thoughts of hidden weapons or elaborate traps.
There was no need to betray anymore.
end.
The fic's title, Perfidia, is the name of a Mexican song from the 1940s and also the Spanish word for "perfidy", as in faithless, treacherous or false. If you don't know the song, you're likely to have heard it before and just didn't know the name. Try here for a sung version, here for an orchestral version or download here.
Even the best disguises slipped once in a while. Niou knew this because he was good at deception. This was what he and Yagyuu were waiting for: the moment the other said too much, showed too much.
Mary was somewhere else in the house, listening to her favourite radio show. Niou closed the piano and headed for Yagyuu's room, shutting the door behind him.
Well, that was just far too easy. How careless of Yagyuu.
After a while, he heard the radio being turned down and Mary shouting out a greeting across the house. The reply was a lot quieter. Then Mary asked if she could invite Niou to stay for dinner, mentioned Niou was using her piano, and that was when Niou heard the rush of Yagyuu's footsteps.
Yagyuu checked the study first - Niou wasn't there. Then the footsteps became a lot softer, almost inaudible. Inside the completely dark room, Niou could see a pair of shoes through the gap under the door.
When the door flew back, Niou was on Yagyuu's bed, his shoes kicked off, his shirt open, his hand down his trousers and jerking hard.
They stared at each other.
Looking around the room, Yagyuu tried to see if anything had been touched, his gaze lingering on the safe in one corner for a bit too long. Niou had guessed as much: anything that would be of interest to him would be inside that metal box. He hadn't tried to pick the lock open. Not knowing exactly what was inside, it might once again be too much risk with too little reward.
Besides, that wasn't what he came here for.
"Hey." Niou leered, showing no intention of getting dressed. "Welcome home, Yagyuu. You've got a nice bed."
Yagyuu's teeth grazed his lower lip. "This is not the place for that. Mary - "
The radio was turned up again.
"Isn't going to hear a thing," Niou said, got onto his knees and made his way to the edge of the bed, beckoning Yagyuu. He pulled down Yagyuu's trousers, licked him until he was hard, then had sex with him.
Yagyuu was waiting for Niou to make a mistake, so Niou gave him a mistake to discover. Now that Yagyuu found it and realised he was wrong, he wouldn't pick apart everything Niou did as carefully as he did before - as carefully as he was supposed to. He'd trust Niou more. Maybe he'd even tell the maid she didn't need to keep her eyes on Niou anymore. Funny, the way people's minds worked.
Niou couldn't think of a reason more convincing than "I was waiting for you to fuck me" that would make Yagyuu find him in his room. At this stage, it didn't matter anymore. He agreed to do this knowing he was effectively becoming a whore. But whatever it took, it would all be worth it in the end. Whatever it took.
Niou unpinned Sanada's card from the notice board but didn't fill the gap with any message of his own. Fuck Sanada. He could wait.
Yagyuu was at the door. Niou let him in, but kept him in the hallway.
"At the risk of sounding like a whining bitch," Niou said, completely impassive, "you stood me up again."
"I know."
Niou smelled the alcohol in Yagyuu's breath. "I see you've eaten."
"There was trouble at work."
"Don't give me that bullshit. You could've called. I'm sick of being your whore."
"Who said that?"
"Your attitude did. The way you'll have me when you like and forget me when you don't; the way you fucked me the first time; the way you don't want me in your bed; the way you got your maid to keep her eyes on me and make sure I'm never alone in a room - I know you did so don't give me that look. I thought it was just your paranoia but clearly I've taken the wrong risk. Apparently I'm a criminal who happens to be a convenient fuck."
Niou reached for the door.
"Niou-kun..."
Niou ignored the plea. Not so easy. Yagyuu would lose interest if he was easy. And Niou was never easy to begin with.
"I do like you, Niou-kun. You are different."
"'Different' can mean too many things." Niou scowled, hiding his surprise at Yagyuu's words. He was about to open the door when Yagyuu slumped against the wall.
"A large shipment got delayed, and then went missing altogether. I have been trying to find a resolution with the shipping company. I failed to call because I'm not used to... relationships. I apologise."
"Don't shit me. Entire shipments don't go missing."
"It has happened. They must have thought making me drink would avert the crisis."
"Whatever it is," Niou reached for the door again, but Yagyuu wouldn't let him. "I don't need to know. It's got nothing to do with me and I don't want anything to do with you. We're done."
The light in Yagyuu's eyes seemed to have dimmed a little, but it could just be the alcohol. "Please."
"Don't bother. You - " Niou stopped when Yagyuu moved forward to embrace him.
"Please."
"Find yourself a new whore."
"To me, you're..."
Niou waited, but Yagyuu didn't finish the sentence.
"I'll make it up to you." His face buried in Niou's shoulder, Yagyuu mumbled the words.
"Like how?"
"Tell me what you want me to do." Yagyuu started kissing Niou's neck, his hands going to rest on either side of Niou's hips, partly to help his balance, partly just because. "I'll do anything."
"You're drunk, aren't you."
"Possibly. Yes."
"Fuck off, Yagyuu." This wasn't meant to go this far, but Niou couldn't help it. There were things he wanted to test. "There are loads of people queuing up waiting for you to fuck them. You don't need me."
"But they are not you."
Niou snorted. "Oh, come on. I'm not twelve." He tried to ignore the hands on the front of his trousers. "This ain't gonna solve anything, Yagyuu."
"We're alike." The clips of the braces came off, then the zipper came undone. "You are just like me."
Niou froze for a second when Yagyuu sank to his knees. What was Yagyuu doing? And what the hell did he just say?
"Now you sound like you just wanna fuck yourself." Hands freed Niou from his trousers and underwear. Yagyuu was kissing him down there. "You're fucking sick." This man, this selfish and proud bastard, was on his knees and wrapping his lips around one of Niou's balls and sucking it and Niou was getting hard faster than ever. "Shit..."
Yagyuu pulled back briefly to take off his glasses, dropping them to the floor. Niou put his hands in Yagyuu's hair to hold him back.
"I'm trying to leave you, jerk."
"Don't." Yagyuu's eyes were definitely glazed over now, his words slurring more. "I need you." He leaned forward again and Niou let go. He said something more, but he said it with Niou's cock in his mouth and the vibrations made Niou's mind go blank.
Maybe Yagyuu was just drunk. Maybe Yagyuu was actually in love with him. Maybe it was a bit of both. Maybe this was a trick to make Niou drop his defences. But right now Yagyuu was blowing him and Niou really just didn't care. He moaned, hands resting on Yagyuu's shoulders, encouraging him to go on. Suck harder. Go deeper. Yes, put that finger - yes, there, keep doing it. Hm... hmm... g-gonna come soon. Yagyuu... let go, I'm gonna... really, just - oh God. Oh God. Yagyuu. Ngh... ah...
Afterwards, Niou called Yagyuu's driver to come and take Yagyuu home after agreeing to give him another chance. Yagyuu wouldn't want to sleep over - far too dangerous and Niou didn't want to deal with him when he woke in the morning and wondered what the hell he had done to his own pride. If what happened wasn't an act. If it was, then Niou could see what Yagyuu meant when he said they were just like each other.
The next day, Niou went to Yagyuu's house as normal. Yagyuu didn't go to work. He sat, listening to Niou practise on the piano, followed by Mary's lesson, staying silent the whole time.
Niou couldn't tell what was going through Yagyuu's mind.
Yagyuu stood when Niou was about to leave.
"Good night, Niou-kun."
Niou eyed him. "What's happening with your shipment?"
"The port might cover my losses, but I can't be sure at the moment. Twisting Atobe Keigo's arm over the phone is not the same as doing it in person. He is not someone I trust very much."
"Teaches you something about working with people you actually trust, then." Niou shrugged on his jacket. "Then again, who I am I talk? I wouldn't have a job here if that was the case."
"Atobe used to be easy to work with, before the invasion."
"Huh."
"Niou-kun, about last night..."
"I said let's try again." Niou said quickly. There was no point in making Yagyuu feel embarrassed or undermined by this 'relationship' thing. It was meant to be a way to reaffirm the fact that Niou was serious about it and felt hurt when he was neglected, a way to convince Yagyuu that Niou was in love with him, but it had gone overboard. "So let's try again."
Yagyuu quietly cleared his throat. "I meant every word I said."
Niou stared for a moment, then smiled.
So he wasn't the only one who knew how to take one step back in order to take two steps forward. Somehow, he had a feeling Yagyuu was getting the upper hand in this game.
The tickets were for a performance in two hours' time. Box seats.
"A wife can go. A mistress can go. You can even put a whore in a nice dress and get her to hang off your arm." Niou put the tickets down. "Why don't you take Mary?"
"She would not enjoy it."
"Neither would I. Besides, it's just not done."
"What isn't?"
"Us." Niou pointed at himself, then at Yagyuu.
"Do I look like I care, Niou-kun?"
Niou leaned back when Yagyuu stepped up behind him, a hand wrapping around his waist, bringing their bodies together.
"Heh. So the upper class play by a different set of rules even for this sort of thing? Or do you only follow the rules that suit you?" A hand reached back to remove Yagyuu's glasses. Niou put them on his face.
Yagyuu gave it a thought. "A bit of both."
"I don't have anything to wear."
"I don't suggest you go in the nude; you might catch a cold."
"Your clothes might fit me."
Yagyuu let go of Niou and gave him a gentle nudge towards the wardrobe.
"I was kidding."
"We need to head out soon."
Niou put his hands on the wardrobe doors, wondering for a split second if this was a trap - were there people inside, ready to jump out and take him to the execution grounds? No, of course not. Mary was in the house too.
He picked out a suit and changed, straightening his clothes and patting down his hair in front of a mirror. "How do I look?" He was still wearing Yagyuu's gold-framed glasses. "A bit like you, hmm?"
Yagyuu got a comb and ran it through Niou's hair. Their eyes met on the mirror's reflection.
"Now what, you put on my clothes and be me?"
Yagyuu let the faintest hint of amusement show on his face. "I could, if you like."
"There are a lot of things I'd like."
Yagyuu was already getting changed. Niou just stared. Yagyuu was doing more and more for him, they were spending more and more time together. Maybe, when he was not paying attention, they had really become lovers.
The play was forgettable, people with painted faces playing make-believe. Amateurs. Not half an hour in and Niou was already yawning. No matter how engrossing the story was, crap acting meant crap play.
He glanced to the side. Yagyuu was looking at him, had been for the last few minutes. He inclined his head, peering at Yagyuu from above the rim of his borrowed glasses, one corner of his lips turning up several degrees. "Are you enjoying the show, Niou-kun?" he asked with a lowered voice.
"Not so much the show, but I'm enjoying myself."
Niou tsk-ed. "Enjoying yourself, in my presence? Would you not want me to enjoy you instead?"
Yagyuu ignored the suggestion, but there was only so much ignoring he could do when the other man moved their chairs together and a hand found his thigh.
"Niou-kun."
Niou leaned close, blowing hot breath on Yagyuu's neck.
"Niou-kun, not here."
The hand moved towards Yagyuu's crotch, fingers finding the zipper. Yagyuu breathed out. "Yagyuu."
"Yes?" Niou sucked on Yagyuu's neck, tasting the salt on his skin. The glasses were getting in the way; he never realised how much skill it took to do this with those things on the face. Not that this would make him develop new respect for Yagyuu.
Yagyuu's hand caught Niou's. "Not here."
Despite the words, Niou felt the flesh under his hand responding even without him having done anything yet. "Just stay quiet." A few more kisses, a few light nibbles along the jaw - Yagyuu always loved that - and the hand let go.
With the chairs' handles in the way, this was more difficult to do than Niou first thought. It was worth it though, just seeing the way Yagyuu was reacting to his touch, face blushing a light pink, eyebrows knotting, breathing becoming heavier. Niou pressed his lips on Yagyuu's neck once more, smiling. "I enjoy you enjoying yourself," he whispered, pulling off his glasses before sliding off the chair and kneeling between Yagyuu's knees. "Make sure no one hear you."
Yagyuu rolled his lips and bit down on them when Niou started to suck his cock, then shut his eyes when Niou forced himself to take a bit more, and a bit more. Niou gagged, but he wouldn't stop, dragging his tongue hard along Yagyuu's length, then trying again.
"Don't." Yagyuu mouthed the word, then realised Niou couldn't see. "Don't," he tried again, his voice hitching. "You don't need to."
Niou didn't listen. Around them, music started to play, the actors' voices rising, drowning Yagyuu's gasp when his cock was squeezed gently. Niou sucked harder, bobbing his head, pushing Yagyuu's cock all the way into his mouth, his mind blank except for the desire to bring Yagyuu to climax. It took over him as intensely as sensations took over Yagyuu, and even if someone walked in on them now, or if the whole theatre was looking at them, he wasn't going to stop.
He had return to the favour from the other night. That was all. Nothing more to it.
Something was rubbing against his face. Yagyuu was holding a handkerchief, trying to get his attention. He was going to come soon. Niou pushed that hand away and kept going, feeling Yagyuu shudder, and then his body freezing up.
On the stage below, a character died in a surprise plot twist and the audience gasped.
Yagyuu relaxed on his chair. Niou wiped his mouth then tucked Yagyuu back in, not a drop soiling his clothes.
Damn. Now he was hard.
"Perhaps we can go somewhere after this?" Niou put the glasses back on, still sticking to his Yagyuu impersonation. He didn't get an answer, but it wasn't really a question anyway.
The play wasn't half way through yet and there would be a long time to wait. Not that Niou would stay hard for that long, but he couldn't wait to get out of this place. Satiated, Yagyuu watched Niou with mild but obvious amusement. "There is some obligatory socialising to do after the play."
Niou had to stop himself from swearing.
"You will enjoy yourself, Yagyuu."
Yagyuu was right - the sheer ridiculousness of the crowds at the hall was great fun. A bunch of foreigners, statesmen, nouveau riche bastards and their ornaments attempting to socialise and flaunt. Niou joined the circle, said he was Yagyuu Hiroshi and please, do excuse the state of his cousin's appearance, he has just arrived after a long journey and Yagyuu thought it would be good to show him a bit of high society.
After they left the theatre, Niou pulled his rat tail free from under the jacket and ran a hand through his hair, shaking it free so that it was something between his usual look and Yagyuu's carefully sculpted style.
"It's hard work, being you."
"Did you have fun?"
They got in the car.
"Being you? Sure. But I'd have even more fun doing you."
After a bit of silence, Yagyuu leaned forward to slide open the privacy window that separated them from the driver, telling the man to take them to the hotel.
For a brief moment, Niou saw the driver's profile and his heart stopped.
"New guy?"
"My usual driver is unwell." Yagyuu studied Niou's face. "What is it?"
"Don't like the smell of this one," Niou mumbled, though there was no reason their conversation could be heard through that window. "What if he tells the papers about us? Everyone loves a good scandal."
"I've told you already: I don't give a damn."
"Until your business closes down and you lose everything. Do you know what being poor's like?"
Despite Niou's sudden anxiety, Yagyuu was calm. "I can pay him better than any newspaper would for such a story. Does this reassure you?"
"I'm just worried about my job." Niou looked out the window, but a hand on his chin turned his face back.
"Really?"
"I thought you'd appreciate my hones-"
Niou reached forward blindly and pulled the cord for the curtains, so that no one, including the driver, could see Yagyuu kissing him.
The car simply continued on, the journey steady and smooth. Stopping outside the hotel, Niou went inside without waiting for Yagyuu to tell Sanada to take the car home. What did they think they were doing? What did Sanada think he was doing, suddenly showing up like that, posing as a driver? If Yagyuu didn't trust him as much as he did now, he would have been able to tell there was more to Niou's tension than what he said it was and Niou and Sanada would both be on their way to jail now.
Yagyuu went to the reception to get a room. Niou stayed some distance away, restless from Sanada's stunt and the making-out back in the car. Yagyuu seemed to have sensed the agitation; as soon as he got the key, he took Niou's hand and all but dragged him to the room, shoving him inside.
When the door was locked, Niou pushed pride and logic to the back of his mind.
Sex with Yagyuu was about being taken apart, even when Yagyuu was gentle. It was about telling himself this was what he had to do, and admitting to himself this was what he wanted to do: to feel that pleasure, to see Yagyuu losing himself inside him, to feel themselves clinging to each other, searching for something. To watch, for a few brief seconds, Yagyuu falling apart, too. It almost made Niou feel as though Yagyuu needed him. That Yagyuu was vulnerable, just like him. That Yagyuu felt just the way he did.
And this brought tears to Niou's eyes. He couldn't say why. He lay there, legs spread, panting, an arm over his eyes, wishing this would end now, that Sanada would come in and put bullets in Yagyuu's head and tell Niou he didn't need to feel any of this anymore.
Yagyuu was pumping Niou now, his hand slippery with something. Niou didn't look, instead just waited for the moment he was robbed of himself again.
He pulled his arm away from his eyes when he felt Yagyuu sitting down. On him. His cock in Yagyuu's ass. Tight. Hot.
"Fuck. Yagyuu, oh my God." Words flew from Niou's mouth, jumbled and nonsensical and incoherent when Yagyuu moved very slowly, shuddering as he pulled himself up, shuddering as he lowered himself again. He did it once more before leaning down. Niou could feel Yagyuu's lips brushing against his ear.
"You said you wanted to do me, did you not?" Yagyuu whispered the question, moving his hips again, his breath hitching once as he did so.
Niou tried to reply. "Gotta make sure I let you know what I want from now on," or "I didn't think you'd take me seriously," or "I never imagined you'd let me fuck you," or simply, "I did say that." But he could not even voice the thing he wanted to say the most, with only one word - why?
With a loud grunt, Niou flipped them over, pressing Yagyuu beneath him, his hips starting to buck frantically right away. His eyes fixed on Niou's and his teeth clenched, Yagyuu didn't make a sound. If Niou was hurting him, he didn't show it.
The whole bed rocked from Niou's thrusting. Grabbing Yagyuu's ankle, Niou hooked one of Yagyuu's legs over his shoulder, the way it was done to him sometimes, so that he could get deeper inside. With each push, a bit more of Yagyuu's calm seemed to crumble to dust. With each push, Niou felt something change between them - or realised what had been changing while he spent all his time thinking about what he was meant to do.
Yagyuu parted his lips, threw his head back, squeezed his eyes shut. His moans were quiet, but strangely loud in a room where there were no other sounds apart from the creaking of the bed and the slapping of flesh.
They clung to each other when Niou laid himself on top of Yagyuu, moving his hips excruciatingly slowly now, his cock repeatedly rubbing against a spot that left Yagyuu making mewling noises that sounded like a mix of pleasure and pain. He covered his eyes with a hand as if to hide from the embarrassment. Niou kept going, feeling Yagyuu coming beneath him before he came inside Yagyuu, everything becoming bright white as pleasure and emotions crashed over him.
He pulled out, nudged himself off Yagyuu and lay on the bed, chest down. Turning his head to one side, he saw Yagyuu covering his eyes again. Perhaps the light was hurting them. Or he was uncomfortable without his glasses. Niou rolled onto his side, grasped Yagyuu's arm and tugged Yagyuu towards him, so that he could hold the man as sex-induced sleep began to take over. They never slept together before - Yagyuu normally went home after they were done, and Niou would stay at the hotel for the night - but there was a first time for everything. Holding each other, he could be sure Yagyuu would not be reaching for a hidden weapon to kill him with.
Niou tried to convince himself that was the reason.
Soon, Yagyuu became still. It was a while later that Niou realised the hand on his back, the same hand Yagyuu had been covering his eyes with, was wet.
"Hey, fancy seeing you here."
Yukimura looked towards the source of the voice. "Oh, hi there," he smiled, quickly removing the card he had just put up on the notice board. "It's been a while. How are you?"
"Good, good," said Niou. He cocked his head towards the exit. "Let's go for a drink, and catch up?"
They took the long way, made sure they weren't being followed before going to the bar, and then upstairs to the flat.
Niou looked around. Sanada wasn't in. In fact, the two of them were the only ones here.
"I have some names for you. Mizuki Hajime - works in St Rudolph's on Fifth Street. He likes to hang around diners' tables and listen in on conversations. Snoops around for incorrect behaviour and then report them for rewards. He's the one who landed Yamabuki in hot water."
Yukimura sighed. "Yamabuki learned their lesson the hard way; there are eyes and ears everywhere. Do you know any more of them?"
Niou gave a few more names. Yukimura jotted some notes down in a shorthand that Niou couldn't read and bet nobody else could either.
"But those are the small fries. I've got a big fish for you."
"And that is?"
"Atobe Keigo."
Yukimura frowned. "As in the shipping giant, of Atobe Ports?"
"The very same one. He's letting some of his ports be taken over. Some tanks are arriving by water. One of Yagyuu's major shipments got lost coz Atobe's swapping things around to accommodate and made a huge mess."
"Do you have the details?"
"Bits and pieces... where's Sanada?"
"Hmm?" Yukimura lowered his pen.
"I needa talk to him." Damn. Niou wasn't going to mention this until he had given Yukimura everything he had so far.
"I don't think he's got anything to do today, so - " They both turned around when they heard the front door. "There he is."
Sanada glanced at the others in the flat, then calmly closed and locked the door. Niou stood.
"What the hell did you think you were doing?"
"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Sanada crossed the front room, but maintained his distance. "Dressed up in his clothes and telling people you're Yagyuu Hiroshi?"
"That's called a game, Sanada. It's what lovers sometimes do: play games."
"You're enjoying yourself far too much."
"What?" Niou stormed up to Sanada, hands grabbing the lapels of Sanada's shirt. "Say that again, I dare you!"
Yukimura was on his feet too. "Explain to me what is going on!" he demanded, forcing Niou to let go.
"He went to drive Yagyuu's car for a few days without telling me first! What about team work and keeping people informed?"
Yukimura's eyes widened. "I told you not to do it," he said to Sanada, his voice almost a growl.
"I wanted to know what is happening. You haven't been giving us a complete picture."
"What's happening?" Niou reached for Sanada again, but the man stepped back and Yukimura caught his arm. He struggled to keep his voice cool. "What do you want me to tell you? How part A goes into slot B? How he toys with me, waiting for the day I slip up? How he doesn't just fuck me in the ass, but in the head too? How he's doing everything he can to make me fall for him," Niou paused to take a breath. "so that I'll be even more humiliated than I am right now when I'm caught?"
When, not if. At the rate things were going, it was only a matter of time.
"Is he succeeding?" Sanada's eyes were cold. "Are you in love with him? Is that why you haven't given us a single piece of useful information so far?"
Yukimura put himself between the two men. "Take those words back - you know how much pressure he's under and the risks he's taking. He's just been telling me what he's found out. We have names. And locations."
Everyone fell silent.
Finally, Niou turned away. "I know you never trusted me." Suddenly he was resigned, the tension just moments ago evaporating in an instant. "Yukimura, I'll tell you the rest." He stuffed his hands into trousers pockets and headed for one of the rooms, went inside and waited. It took a while for Yukimura to follow.
"I don't think he distrusts you. He just wants to do something. He's really worried about you and wants to give you some support somehow. I don't know why he can't just say so."
Niou lit a cigarette. "You don't need to say anything."
"I'm not putting in a good word for him. I really do think he's afraid for you, just like the rest of us." A hand rubbed the scarred flesh of the other hand. Yukimura seemed to do this whenever he was thinking hard. He sighed. "He was the last person to see Marui alive. Apparently Marui told him everything was going swimmingly. And then he was gone, never went home, never answered our cards or calls. Just disappeared."
"How about the fact that he never wanted me to come back in the first place?"
Yukimura didn't have an answer to that question.
"You know, it doesn't matter." Niou's face vanished behind a cloud of smoke for a moment. "Doesn't matter anymore."
He used to think he had to prove Sanada wrong, but not anymore. He would just do what he had to do.
Sanada was right about him all along.
Hobbling across the room, Niou tried work out which way to pick up his trousers would hurt less: bending down or kicking them up.
Yagyuu watched him. "Are you in a hurry?"
"Today's Sunday."
"And?"
"Tomorrow's Monday. I figured the 'staying over' option isn't available." Niou went to the bathroom to clean himself up a bit before pulling clothes on.
Yagyuu saw no point in hiding the fact that he could never be located for that one day every week. "Don't you want to know?"
Niou poked his head out of the doorway. "Do you want me to know?"
Their eyes met. Niou shrugged and went back to finish tending to himself. "If you don't want me to know, then don't ask that question in the first place."
"I just cannot tell you."
After a while, Niou leaned against the doorway, zipping up his trousers. "You want to tell me but you can't." He inched himself towards Yagyuu. His legs hurt so damn much from being stretched and held in odd positions, and he didn't even want to think about his ass. "You could always tell me, then knock me out with a brick. I won't remember a thing when I wake up."
"I am in a difficult position." Yagyuu sighed at Niou's attitude. He petted the bed. "Sit down."
"I'd rather not now that I've stood up. I was in rather difficult positions just now," Niou said with a grin.
"Your walk is pathetic. Sleep here tonight. I don't need to leave until late morning."
"Whose fault do you think that is?" Niou sat down. He just got dressed but decided he would put up with wrinkled trousers tomorrow. "Ow, fuck. You aren't touching my ass for the rest of the month."
Yagyuu just petted the bed again. Niou heaved a dramatic sigh and lay down.
"Are you hurt?"
"Don't know. Don't think so. I'll check tomorrow." Niou rolled onto his side. "So, you've got a toy boy stashed away somewhere. I want to meet him."
Yagyuu frowned. "It's work."
"Right. Coz I'd feel rather sorry for him, only getting you a day a week. Thought I could go and say hi."
Yagyuu turned on his side too, facing Niou, an eyebrow arched.
"Yeah. I'm jealous of an imaginary love rival," said Niou. "Sue me."
"It's work."
"Work work?"
"Yes, it's related."
"Then don't tell me. I'm a spy." Niou turned around to face away from Yagyuu. He closed his eyes when he felt Yagyuu's fingers in his hair.
"I can't tell anyone at all. I'm sorry."
"That big a secret?"
Yagyuu didn't answer. He pulled up the covers and moved himself closer. Niou laughed once. "It's only a day a week. I guess I'll live."
No use pushing Yagyuu on this; Niou knew he had to try some other method. And he liked the way Yagyuu was playing with his hair and didn't want to say anything that would make him stop.
Sitting on the grassy bank of the river, his eyes closed, Niou didn't see Sanada's approach, but he noticed the sound of grass crunching underfoot and a shadow falling over him, blocking the sun temporarily. When Sanada moved to sit down beside him, he saw red again, the colour of blood in his eyelids.
This kind of place was far too bright for his liking, but it was private. Even Yukimura didn't know this place.
"All this time and he still doesn't tell me what his big Monday secret is," he said. "But I'll find out somehow."
Sanada cleared his throat. "Niou, I'm - "
"You're right." Niou glanced at Sanada once, then closed his eyes again. "What you said. I'm enjoying myself. I'm a fairy. I - "
"That wasn't what I meant."
" - like taking it up the ass. You're - "
"Shut up." Anxiety coloured Sanada's voice.
" - right, I'm - "
An explosion of pain silenced Niou. He covered his chin with a hand by reflex, smirking.
"That's enough!"
"I'm in love with him." Niou dipped his head, his hands curling into fists, trembling. "Goddammit! That son-of-a-bitch!"
Yagyuu had won.
Sanada took a deep breath, lowering his hand. He looked tired and in need of some sun. Niou was glad he chose this place; Sanada had always been the type to worry about his duties before he worried about himself.
"I didn't bring you back because this isn't your place."
"Not worth your time. Hollow. I know. You were right not to trust me to begin with."
"No. You joined me because there was no other choice for you at the time. You convinced yourself this is what you believe in. If there had been someone else, or if I asked you to join me in something completely different, I think your life would have turned out completely different," said Sanada. "I realised I made the wrong decision. When the old base got busted..."
Sanada tried to use it an an excuse to let Niou go. Niou buried his face in his hands. "Oh my God." He laughed humourlessly when it all sank in. "How about the country? Driving out the foreigners and all that?"
Sanada looked at the river. "It's my goal, but I couldn't bear the responsibility of forcing it to be yours as well, even if it meant losing a vital part of our strength as a group."
Niou just kept laughing.
"Yukimura spent months convincing me to bring you back. I shouldn't have listened to him. I tried telling him you aren't the man we want."
Niou understood. Yukimura was a man who had his mind set on the final result and believed in sacrifices. And nobody could blame him for that.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm part of the group and you aren't getting rid of me." There might be truth to what Sanada said, there might not be, but it didn't matter anymore at this stage. Niou had gone too far now. And he was in love with a man who was his enemy and who had killed one of his closest friends. "Gotta finish what we started. I'm not a traitor."
The country might not be important, but there were Sanada, Yukimura and everyone who were depending on him. And Marui. Niou couldn't betray them now. He could betray his own feelings; he knew either he or Yagyuu was going to die when he agreed to do this, so whatever he felt now was his own fault. And he could betray Yagyuu because he never said they were on the same side. Yagyuu made it clear in the beginning he only cared about himself. Everything that followed was just acting. A bit of fun. He said it himself: we could entertain each other.
"Let's kill him after I find out what his Monday thing is. Might be some big military secret. He won't be useful after that." The sun was so strong Niou had to squint to see Sanada. His eyes hurt and everything seemed blurry. "I can do it. I see him practically everyday, I can kill him without causing a huge fuss."
Sitting straight, his back as stiff as ever, Sanada gripped his knees, trying to find the right words. "It's not that I don't trust you, but if you find it too difficult, the group can always do it."
"Stop being nice; it ruins your reputation. Remember your priorities." Niou got up, brushing bits of grass from himself. "I still remember mine."
Time to see who would make it to the finish line.
Mary only shrugged when Niou asked if they could cancel the lesson today. He was in no mood to teach. He arrived early and spent hours by himself in the study, just playing the piano, and nobody checked on him or came to see if he really was just going to the bathroom whenever the music stopped. Yagyuu was getting really slack these days. Or maybe there just wasn't anything important at home for Niou to discover.
Yagyuu came home at around lunch hour. Following the music, he looked into the study. "You are here. This is good; I was going to look for you."
"You're home early," said Niou with mild surprise. He stopped playing when Yagyuu approached and gave him a small, hard leather case.
"Here."
Niou frowned, puzzled. The case was heavier than it looked. He put it on his lap and opened it, drawing a sharp breath before he could stop himself.
A gun. One that was definitely made for practicality, small enough to sit comfortably Niou's palm and be kept in a coat pocket unnoticed.
What was this supposed to mean? Was this Yagyuu's way to say their time was up? Was it an invitation for Niou to take his own life before he was taken away and tortured for information on the rest of the group?
"Are you trying to say something?"
"Yes. Happy birthday, Niou-kun."
It took a while for Niou to realise that Yagyuu was right, it was his birthday.
"I considered getting a piano for you, but I would like you to keep coming here."
That sounded almost sweet. Niou would have smiled if he didn't have the leather case on his lap. "So why a pistol?"
Yagyuu nudged his glasses. "Why not? It's useful. Many people carry one on their persons nowadays for self-protection."
Niou managed to smile then. Whether or not there was a message behind this, Yagyuu remembered his birthday. Very few people ever did, including himself. "Every time I think I finally understand you, you do something that surprises me." Niou took the gun out of the case and stroked the cool metal. It wasn't loaded, but there was a clip in the case as well. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"You ditched work for me?"
"It is not 'ditching' when one is one's own boss."
Niou snorted. "So how was work?"
Silence. It was Monday. Niou considered loading the gun and holding it against Yagyuu's temple until he talked. And when Yagyuu spilled the beans, Niou could pull the trigger.
He imagined the recoil shooting up his arm, throwing him back. In that split second, the bullet would enter Yagyuu's head on one side and come out the other. He would slump to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut as the sound of gunfire echoed in Niou's ear.
And this would be all over.
"Quite decent." Yagyuu's voice brought Niou's mind back. "It's almost over."
Almost over. "The work is?"
"In a few days' time, I believe."
Only a few days left to find the truth, then. Or could this be a trap to lure Niou into action?
Niou put the gun down and closed the case. He stood, yanked Yagyuu towards himself and kissed him. Soon one of them was going to die. Whichever way things were going to go, Niou knew he had lost this game already. He might as well make the most out of what was left.
The news came in a small trickle at first and Niou ignored it the way he always did, but there was a strange buzz in the air, like thunder was charging up and getting ready to strike. One day, the radio said another claim of corruption had been proven in court. Another day saw speculation that the late statesman Yagyuu didn't die of a heart attack and was, in fact, murdered. There was hearsay of officials from the previous government who sought asylum in other countries going into hiding, more records of fighter plane purchases being discovered.
The day shit hit the fan, Niou went to the safe house rather than to teach Mary's piano lesson.
With everyone in one place, they were a huge group. They were all silent as the news rolled on TV, familiar figures that once ruled this country coming out to admit that yes, there was an invasion plan. Yes, money had changed hands under the table. But they had been misunderstood and this was for the sake of making this country strong -
The screen turned black when Yukimura switched the power off. They had seen this countless of times since the troops found the secret war rooms and the fleet of planes and tanks hidden at one of the harbour ports.
"We've been fools." Yukimura's scarred hand curled into a fist, but he was otherwise composed. He scanned the room. "There is no more that I can say. If you wish to go, do so, and I wish you well."
It took a while for the first person to move, walking up to Yukimura, shaking his hand and sharing a smile before leaving. One by one, the group dissolved, some giving Yukimura a hug, some sharing a few words with him. Some wept.
And then there was only a handful left. It didn't surprise Niou that they were all from Sanada's original group.
"What do you intend to do now, Seiichi?" Yanagi asked.
"Push for democratic elections," said Yukimura, his gaze as hard as ever. "This occupation, no matter the reason, can't continue forever."
"Then count me in." Yanagi said. The rest of them also nodded.
Yukimura turned to Niou then. "Niou... I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."
Smoking at a corner the sun from the window couldn't reach, Niou just shrugged. "'s fine."
"No, really, I..." Yukimura shook his head, the calm he displayed earlier wavering a little. "I should have listened to Sanada. It's fine if you don't want to forgive me. I don't deserve it."
"No, really. I'm relieved. Maybe I can just be a music teacher now." Niou pushed himself off the wall, went to Yukimura and shook his hand, feeling the rough, dry skin of a hand that was almost too painful to look at. They had all paid a price, some more than others, for the lies they had believed in. Niou felt he was the lucky one in the end.
Then he held out his hand at Sanada. Sanada stepped forward, pulled him in and clapped him on the back.
"That's it?" A voice said.
Sanada let Niou go and looked at the source of the voice. "Jackal."
"We're all happy about this?" Jackal's eyes were wide, bulging out of their sockets. He was shaking, and his shaved head was covered with a thin sheen of sweat.
Niou breathed out, blowing cigarette smoke. "Yagyuu told me a long time ago his dad was murdered for trying to stop the invasion plot. I didn't believe him."
"And that makes it all right for him to do what he did? Are we forgetting something? If that man can have his personal revenge, shouldn't we be doing the same for Bunta?"
Nobody knew what to say.
Finally, Sanada put a hand on Jackal's shoulder. "A lot of people have died - "
Jackal knocked the hand off. "And every one of them was important."
"If every death is to be avenged with another, when do you stop?"
Jackal was backing away towards the door. Niou exchanged a look with Yanagi; it was clear no words were going to get through to Jackal. "Grab him," Yanagi mouthed the words, lunging forward, and Niou did the same, but Jackal ran, flinging the door open and disappearing from sight in seconds. Both Yanagi and Niou lost balance, stumbling forward.
"Get him before he does something stupid. Quick!" Niou shouted.
Sanada and Kirihara sprang into action and gave chase. They came back half an hour later with no Jackal in sight.
"Shit." Niou knew what was going to happen next: Jackal would try to kill Yagyuu. He would either succeed or die trying. "Shit!"
Jackal shouldn't be hard to find. He would go where Yagyuu was.
"I'll stay with Yagyuu. Follow us wherever we go, you're bound to find him eventually."
There were many people milling around on the streets, not doing anything in particular. Some of them looked resentful, some relieved. Some were chatting with the patrolling troops. For the first time, the ice that was the tension between soldiers and civilians melted by tiny amounts.
Jackal wouldn't do anything in the middle of such a crowd. He wouldn't be able to get a clear line of sight or be sure he could kill Yagyuu with one blow. And Jackal was a good man who would not hurt innocent bystanders.
"What is the meaning of this, Niou-kun?"
"It's a great place for beef. The steak house last week was nice, but compared with this one?" Niou grinned. "You'll see what I mean."
Yagyuu looked amused. "I am referring to this." He pointed at Niou, then at himself.
"Ah, this." Niou slowed his pace and whispered, "it turns me on."
Yagyuu had no reply to that. Niou leered at him and kept on walking, knowing Jackal, Sanada and Yukimura were all somewhere in this crowd.
He took Yagyuu to a restaurant. A waiter took their orders.
"I didn't realise you like doing this so much," said Yagyuu, checking his hair.
"Oh come on." Niou folded his arms on the table and leaned forward. "I can tell it's doing something for you too, Niou-kun."
"Am I the only person who has ever worn this wig?"
"Are you the one with the imaginary love rival now?"
Yagyuu snorted quietly, but he suddenly looked thoughtful in a way Niou had never seen before.
"I'd like to take you somewhere after the meal."
"Where?"
"The place I go to once a week. I would like you to come with me."
Words almost left Niou's mouth before he could hold them back. Whatever it was that Yagyuu did, it should be over. If he had told the truth that night, he shouldn't have to go back there again. If he told the truth.
Perhaps Yagyuu was going to hand him over. Perhaps Yagyuu was going to kill him now that the game was no longer interesting. And to think Niou was trying to protect him from Jackal...
Niou's thoughts came to an abrupt stop when he spotted movement out of the corner of his eyes. Jackal. Coming up to the window close to where they sat. And at a distance, Sanada running towards him. But he wasn't going to be fast enough.
Niou knocked a fork off his side of the table. "Oopsie daisy." He peeked under the table. "It's on your side. Could you help me get that please, Niou-kun?"
An eyebrow arched, half amused and half annoyed, Yagyuu ducked under the table to retrieve the cutlery.
Niou saw Jackal pull out a gun. There was no room for him to run and Yagyuu had occupied what little space there was under the table. And there was no reason for Jackal not to believe the man sitting there with brown hair and glasses was Yagyuu Hiroshi.
Well, it was stupid, to die for a man who never loved him and was probably going to kill him later himself. But Niou realised he didn't want to see a bullet going into Yagyuu's head. He didn't want to watch Yagyuu fall like a puppet with strings cut. This time, he could not betray his own feelings. And if this inability to ignore his feelings meant he betrayed his own life, then so be it.
"Niou-kun!"
He didn't see what happened, but suddenly Yagyuu was in front of him. Then there was a bang, glass shattered, people screamed, then Yagyuu was slumped over him, with a hole in his back.
Yagyuu.
Yagyuu.
"Fuck!" Niou held the man in his arm, suddenly hysterical. "What's this supposed to mean? You aren't supposed to do this!" He squeezed Yagyuu tight. "Yagyuu! Shit! YAGYUU!"
A hand gripped the shirt on Niou's back. Yagyuu lifted his head, his face pale and contorted with pain. He tried to say something. Niou bowed his head so that he could hear the faint whisper.
Outside, Jackal and Sanada stood frozen, not believing what they just saw. But survival instinct soon kicked in and they were gone before the police arrived. Niou didn't know. He didn't care. Yagyuu was in his arms with a bullet inside him and Niou just didn't care about anything else anymore.
Yagyuu was right. They were quite alike, after all.
Fingers rapped the front door, its hollow construction and cheap wood making the sound all the louder. Instead of waiting for the occupants to answer, the rapping kept on going until the door opened.
"Yo." The visitor waved, then went inside. "You guys got any food? I'm really hungry here."
"Bun... Bunta."
Marui Bunta grinned, showing bright white teeth. "Thought I was dead, huh?"
Jackal stared for a long while, his mouth wide open with shock. There were tears in his eyes. "How... what happened to you?"
The rest of what remained of the group heard the voices and gathered in the front room, every one of them stunned.
Marui threw himself onto a sofa. "That Yagyuu got me locked up in jail. I guess he paid someone some monies to keep me there."
"We thought you were killed."
"Nah. I got fed nice and all that, just not allowed out. Yagyuu was convinced I'd just try to throw my life away again somehow." Marui shrugged. "I didn't believe him when he told me I was on the wrong side... but I've seen the news now. He promised to let me go when I got proved wrong, so yeah. Weird though, it was Niou who came for me. What happened to Yagyuu? And what are you guys doing these days? And is there any food around? Oh my God Jackal, are you crying?"
Jackal sat down beside Marui and buried his face in his hands. Laughing, Marui rubbed Jackal's shaved head.
"You're such a git."
The man at the corner shop recognised Niou and got the usual cigarettes for him, but Niou told him he'd changed brands and bought the expensive ones instead.
Out of habit, he glanced at the noticeboard on his way out, and spotted something. There was an advertisement for a piano teacher written in familiar handwriting, but there were no contact details on the card. Niou laughed. He took it down, wrote an advertisement for an annoying asshole on the other side, and pinned it back up.
He went home afterwards.
"Still not a peep about the fact that you got shot."
"Money well spent then."
"You lie to everyone, don't you?"
"I have never lied to you." An eyebrow rose. It was answered with slow blinking. "I just don't want Mary to know. As far as she is concerned, I am on a business trip."
"Yeah I know, I know. And staying in hospital's bound to get you noticed."
"Actually, that was only an excuse for me to come and stay at your house for a while."
Laughter. "I like you honest. By the way, do you know what this means, you having to lie on your chest all the time?"
A pause, and then, "oh, please don't even think about it."
More laughter, and then silence. Niou went to his record player, found the song he wanted in his small pile of vinyls. After some amplified scratchings, the needle found the right groove and Niou started humming along to the Mexican music. Yagyuu chucked - carefully so as not to jostle his healing wound - when he recognised the tune.
"Play that on the piano for me."
Body swaying to the rhythm in a way that was more to amuse than to please, Niou rolled his eyes in thought, then sighed dramatically, as if he was being asked to do a huge favour.
"Could be arranged, I suppose."
The music continued. Niou sashayed his way to the bed. The edge of the mattress dipped when he sat down. His fingertips touched Yagyuu's bandages lightly.
"Hey."
"Yes?"
"Thanks."
"You were trying to do the same for me."
Eyes looked away. A cigarette was lit and shared.
They fell asleep next to each other, with no thoughts of hidden weapons or elaborate traps.
There was no need to betray anymore.
end.
The fic's title, Perfidia, is the name of a Mexican song from the 1940s and also the Spanish word for "perfidy", as in faithless, treacherous or false. If you don't know the song, you're likely to have heard it before and just didn't know the name. Try here for a sung version, here for an orchestral version or download here.