Funny How Things Happen
I think all I've been looking for in the past few years can be summed up in one word "safety." When Erik and I split my life was thrown into chaos and as much as I thrive on the unknown it gets exhausting after a while.
It's good to know I've survived. I have held my own much longer than some ever thought I would. I have made mistakes, but don't we all, isn't that part of this journey. When we stop making mistakes and learning from them aren't we basically on our way out.
This weekend I was laying in a bed, starring up at a bunch of Red Tail Hawk feathers and I just felt safe. I realized it wasn't the place I was, it wasn't the people around me, it wasn't even the feathers I was starring at so intently. It was just that moment, that point in time, there and then that I figured out that life is only safe when you allow yourself to feel safe. When you take down your guard, when you lay back and just enjoy what you are looking at.
Of course I can't say that I now have made this miraculous change in my life and balh blah blah, but I know that I can find what I'm looking for. I know that if I need that safety I just have to let down my guard enough to feel it and I'll be ok.
Well back to work :) Catharsis makes feel productive :P
It's good to know I've survived. I have held my own much longer than some ever thought I would. I have made mistakes, but don't we all, isn't that part of this journey. When we stop making mistakes and learning from them aren't we basically on our way out.
This weekend I was laying in a bed, starring up at a bunch of Red Tail Hawk feathers and I just felt safe. I realized it wasn't the place I was, it wasn't the people around me, it wasn't even the feathers I was starring at so intently. It was just that moment, that point in time, there and then that I figured out that life is only safe when you allow yourself to feel safe. When you take down your guard, when you lay back and just enjoy what you are looking at.
Of course I can't say that I now have made this miraculous change in my life and balh blah blah, but I know that I can find what I'm looking for. I know that if I need that safety I just have to let down my guard enough to feel it and I'll be ok.
Well back to work :) Catharsis makes feel productive :P