this is so poorly written and thought out
i am having a crisis.
i have been having these awful rampant existentialist sentiments combined with actualizing nymphomania and the realization that even at my own birthday party, i felt shafted and uncomfortable.
maybe its that i cant wash my hair enough to feel not dirty and that i cant be driving through northwest right now smoking a cigarette and watching the smoke dissapate into the low buildings and shallow ceiling that we pretend is a sky above us.
i am afraid of forgetting everything. i think i have forgetten how night sounds.
maybe it is also the fact that everyone is getting into or not getting into college and im afraid that i will be rejected everywhere and both fail myself and have to walk through yet another year entirely ashamed.
maybe its that i cannot write my common app essay because i feel so blank and empty and hollow. maybe nothing matters.
maybe i am just biding time until i die.
i have been having these awful rampant existentialist sentiments combined with actualizing nymphomania and the realization that even at my own birthday party, i felt shafted and uncomfortable.
maybe its that i cant wash my hair enough to feel not dirty and that i cant be driving through northwest right now smoking a cigarette and watching the smoke dissapate into the low buildings and shallow ceiling that we pretend is a sky above us.
i am afraid of forgetting everything. i think i have forgetten how night sounds.
maybe it is also the fact that everyone is getting into or not getting into college and im afraid that i will be rejected everywhere and both fail myself and have to walk through yet another year entirely ashamed.
maybe its that i cannot write my common app essay because i feel so blank and empty and hollow. maybe nothing matters.
maybe i am just biding time until i die.