some things
before i go to bed ill tell ya about some things
1. we have a local bum at work who i deem the sandman. he's been coming in for a couple months now and i really fancy him. i like bums but this one is extra special. i think his real name is gary or something. at least he says so but he also claimed tonight that "we" made the "cop friend" a "hero and a star" so he could really named anything. one day he came in covered head to toe in mass amounts of sand and thats why his name is sandman. in case he becomes a famous bum, i get full credit of that name. sometimes he speaks not a word, which makes it really hard to take his order because although i know hes getting a cup of coffee i still like to double check with him, and he will just stare blankly at me. other times, which is most times, he comes in ranting and raving. he will begin the conversation in a way where it seems like you're just walking in on it, and then he'll make absolutely NO sense whatsoever. he speaks sentences of random words pretty much.. to the point where you don't even know what to say other than "yeah no worries" .. i've just been smiling or shooting him blank stares and they seem to be just as effective as verbal responses. one time he told me i looked like his ex lover and he's been giving me special looks ever since. hm.
2. a few months ago this crazed looking individual came into work on a sunday night. when i first started working at the ormond starbucks i was told by my coworker that every year a gang of hippies come into town and parade around and try getting free things out of us. well i assumed this was one of them because it was about the same time of year and not to be judgemental but he looked like a damn dirty hippie. he ordered a teeny cup of coffee and drank half of and then decided to spend two hours pouring cinnamon into it. im not even exaggerating this. he would sit down and stare at everything all bug eyed, and then get up, walk to the condiment bar, and dump a shit ton of cinnamon into his cup of coffee. sit back down, and do the same thing after a few minutes. after an hour or so cinnamon was everywhere. fucking KOOK. i wanted to ask him why he kept pouring so much cinnamon into his drink but he looked like he was on drugs. i bet he was tripping on acid, because when i was on acid i lost my cool at one point and rode my bike to panera and demanded mandarin oranges out of katie anania and then proceeded to tweak out on the back outside bench whilst smoking parliments and sniffing a cinnamon broomstick. some guy was just coming in to work and i hardcore harrased him and made him get me a glass of water, and after he did that i went ahead and got three more. and then when i went to leave i got about 5 feet on my bike before i dropped my oranges everywhere and ran over the cup. acid makes you do weird things. so cinnamon hippie left finally after he used ALL the cinnamon and turned our condiment bar into a cinnamon happyland.. and i thought that was the end of him. well the other day i was at loves whole foods and who do i see? the cinnamon hippie, looking just as crazed as he did the first time i saw him. we made eye contact and i was truly scared.
3. yesterday i was hanging out with wesley and he didn't have contact solution so we set out to go get some. in the mean time he had put his contacts into a cup of water. i knew this, but while talking to him i grabbed the cup without thinking and took a big ole gulp. well wesley went to put his contacts in and couldn't find them and thats when i noticed he was pouring the water i was drinking out onto his hands. i've done a lot of weird and random things in my life but accidently drinking someones contact lenses definitely ranks high on the list. ha ha ha ha.
4. some number of months ago me and maybe maegan and johnny? i dont know.. but me and some folks of the sort went to wendys and they told us they were out of everything. what the fuck? im gonna sue.
5. tonight i saw the ultimate mullet kid on tv. he had a straight up bowl cut, nice and thick, with like 3 feet of craziness coming out of it. i think he should win an award.
6. i have begun crossfit. it is circuit training. it is tough. i've only gone 5 times so far but i am already feeling good. right now i have a hard time bending over because my back is sore from deadlifting my brains out. its making me real tired but in a good way. next week i am shooting for going four times. three IF i have to. but four would be ideal. my goal is to see some results within two months. im not going to push for anything extreme. but so far i really enjoy going, even though while im there i want to kill myself. i think crossfit is to blame for my recent distaste for partying. im really starting to enjoy the nights i am completely sober. i like having a clear head and socializing and presenting myself in a way that is actually ME. me while drinking.. thats not me. while smoking? nope not me either. ME is me at my purest, and i am beginning to feel insecure when im not in my purest form. this could lead to something good considering i have been hiding myself behind drugs and alcohol for about three years now. i am in no way saying i dont want to drink or smoke or blah blah blah, but right now i think those sorts of things are not for me. i know myself though, and i will keep on doing them but i think ill be saying "no" a lot more often. i am still young but that doesn't mean i can sit around and milk the young life for what its worth. age aint nothin but a number and im feeling kind of ready to grow up. or umm.. accomplish something. like my AA.
7. speaking of AA's.. i am still nowhere closer to mine but i did start taking Portuguese this semester. I think im going to stick with it. i really enjoy the language and my teacher is so awesome. even though its just a simple little class i am fully convinced that this was the little stepping stool i needed to get back into the swing of things. it's given me so much motivation to do well in school. i used to skip all the time. i havent even skipped yet! i did go home early once because i thought i had to work but that is all. i actually look forward to going to school!! i can speak out in class all i want, too. which is awesome because the less drinking and smoking ive been doing the more i am noticing that ill talk my head off to the point where i wear myself out. i feel like each day i am gaining a little more of myself back that i have lost over the past few years. it feels so good. i was stuck in a vicious cycle that was impossible to get out of but i think i did it. no, not did, i am doing it. this kind of change will take a long time. i have no idea how long exactly but im willing to wait. something tells me this isnt just me in a phase all happy go lucky. the past five months i have made mistakes that have had such an affect on me that this came on its own. this was no real decision of mine, its just happening. im going with the flow i guess you could say. people have got it MUCH worse then me, and have had much worse things happen to them. but a few things happened to me, too, whether severe or not is someones own judgement, but they were severe enough to knock some sense into me. i am still mentally shaken to the point where i have days where yes, i do think about how nice it'd be just to die, but i know there's a light at the end of the tunnel and i have the power to heal wounds that i am responsible for. im sick and tired of being a dummy and fucking my life up over things that i could have prevented. im cutting this one short because i am sure none of this makes sense to anybody but me. but i can't really be anything but vague because these are very very personal incidents that ill never tell but a few people. eh eh eh.
8. i am watching that show on MTV called the X effect and it sucks. its so stupid. i am now officialy dumber for watching it. theres many things ill do in my life but being on a show like that is not one of them. if i know anyone who ever goes on a pathetic show like that youre getting made fun of for life. i would never leave my house if i was on that show. i'd eventually commit suicide. but thats just me. point of this: this show is seriously awful.
well my battery is low so i can't tell anymore things, but thats life in a nutshell for tonight.
1. we have a local bum at work who i deem the sandman. he's been coming in for a couple months now and i really fancy him. i like bums but this one is extra special. i think his real name is gary or something. at least he says so but he also claimed tonight that "we" made the "cop friend" a "hero and a star" so he could really named anything. one day he came in covered head to toe in mass amounts of sand and thats why his name is sandman. in case he becomes a famous bum, i get full credit of that name. sometimes he speaks not a word, which makes it really hard to take his order because although i know hes getting a cup of coffee i still like to double check with him, and he will just stare blankly at me. other times, which is most times, he comes in ranting and raving. he will begin the conversation in a way where it seems like you're just walking in on it, and then he'll make absolutely NO sense whatsoever. he speaks sentences of random words pretty much.. to the point where you don't even know what to say other than "yeah no worries" .. i've just been smiling or shooting him blank stares and they seem to be just as effective as verbal responses. one time he told me i looked like his ex lover and he's been giving me special looks ever since. hm.
2. a few months ago this crazed looking individual came into work on a sunday night. when i first started working at the ormond starbucks i was told by my coworker that every year a gang of hippies come into town and parade around and try getting free things out of us. well i assumed this was one of them because it was about the same time of year and not to be judgemental but he looked like a damn dirty hippie. he ordered a teeny cup of coffee and drank half of and then decided to spend two hours pouring cinnamon into it. im not even exaggerating this. he would sit down and stare at everything all bug eyed, and then get up, walk to the condiment bar, and dump a shit ton of cinnamon into his cup of coffee. sit back down, and do the same thing after a few minutes. after an hour or so cinnamon was everywhere. fucking KOOK. i wanted to ask him why he kept pouring so much cinnamon into his drink but he looked like he was on drugs. i bet he was tripping on acid, because when i was on acid i lost my cool at one point and rode my bike to panera and demanded mandarin oranges out of katie anania and then proceeded to tweak out on the back outside bench whilst smoking parliments and sniffing a cinnamon broomstick. some guy was just coming in to work and i hardcore harrased him and made him get me a glass of water, and after he did that i went ahead and got three more. and then when i went to leave i got about 5 feet on my bike before i dropped my oranges everywhere and ran over the cup. acid makes you do weird things. so cinnamon hippie left finally after he used ALL the cinnamon and turned our condiment bar into a cinnamon happyland.. and i thought that was the end of him. well the other day i was at loves whole foods and who do i see? the cinnamon hippie, looking just as crazed as he did the first time i saw him. we made eye contact and i was truly scared.
3. yesterday i was hanging out with wesley and he didn't have contact solution so we set out to go get some. in the mean time he had put his contacts into a cup of water. i knew this, but while talking to him i grabbed the cup without thinking and took a big ole gulp. well wesley went to put his contacts in and couldn't find them and thats when i noticed he was pouring the water i was drinking out onto his hands. i've done a lot of weird and random things in my life but accidently drinking someones contact lenses definitely ranks high on the list. ha ha ha ha.
4. some number of months ago me and maybe maegan and johnny? i dont know.. but me and some folks of the sort went to wendys and they told us they were out of everything. what the fuck? im gonna sue.
5. tonight i saw the ultimate mullet kid on tv. he had a straight up bowl cut, nice and thick, with like 3 feet of craziness coming out of it. i think he should win an award.
6. i have begun crossfit. it is circuit training. it is tough. i've only gone 5 times so far but i am already feeling good. right now i have a hard time bending over because my back is sore from deadlifting my brains out. its making me real tired but in a good way. next week i am shooting for going four times. three IF i have to. but four would be ideal. my goal is to see some results within two months. im not going to push for anything extreme. but so far i really enjoy going, even though while im there i want to kill myself. i think crossfit is to blame for my recent distaste for partying. im really starting to enjoy the nights i am completely sober. i like having a clear head and socializing and presenting myself in a way that is actually ME. me while drinking.. thats not me. while smoking? nope not me either. ME is me at my purest, and i am beginning to feel insecure when im not in my purest form. this could lead to something good considering i have been hiding myself behind drugs and alcohol for about three years now. i am in no way saying i dont want to drink or smoke or blah blah blah, but right now i think those sorts of things are not for me. i know myself though, and i will keep on doing them but i think ill be saying "no" a lot more often. i am still young but that doesn't mean i can sit around and milk the young life for what its worth. age aint nothin but a number and im feeling kind of ready to grow up. or umm.. accomplish something. like my AA.
7. speaking of AA's.. i am still nowhere closer to mine but i did start taking Portuguese this semester. I think im going to stick with it. i really enjoy the language and my teacher is so awesome. even though its just a simple little class i am fully convinced that this was the little stepping stool i needed to get back into the swing of things. it's given me so much motivation to do well in school. i used to skip all the time. i havent even skipped yet! i did go home early once because i thought i had to work but that is all. i actually look forward to going to school!! i can speak out in class all i want, too. which is awesome because the less drinking and smoking ive been doing the more i am noticing that ill talk my head off to the point where i wear myself out. i feel like each day i am gaining a little more of myself back that i have lost over the past few years. it feels so good. i was stuck in a vicious cycle that was impossible to get out of but i think i did it. no, not did, i am doing it. this kind of change will take a long time. i have no idea how long exactly but im willing to wait. something tells me this isnt just me in a phase all happy go lucky. the past five months i have made mistakes that have had such an affect on me that this came on its own. this was no real decision of mine, its just happening. im going with the flow i guess you could say. people have got it MUCH worse then me, and have had much worse things happen to them. but a few things happened to me, too, whether severe or not is someones own judgement, but they were severe enough to knock some sense into me. i am still mentally shaken to the point where i have days where yes, i do think about how nice it'd be just to die, but i know there's a light at the end of the tunnel and i have the power to heal wounds that i am responsible for. im sick and tired of being a dummy and fucking my life up over things that i could have prevented. im cutting this one short because i am sure none of this makes sense to anybody but me. but i can't really be anything but vague because these are very very personal incidents that ill never tell but a few people. eh eh eh.
8. i am watching that show on MTV called the X effect and it sucks. its so stupid. i am now officialy dumber for watching it. theres many things ill do in my life but being on a show like that is not one of them. if i know anyone who ever goes on a pathetic show like that youre getting made fun of for life. i would never leave my house if i was on that show. i'd eventually commit suicide. but thats just me. point of this: this show is seriously awful.
well my battery is low so i can't tell anymore things, but thats life in a nutshell for tonight.