old myspace post, but wanted to give LJ a lil' love
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Back and still Burning...
Current mood:
crushed
Back from Burning Man... and bed ridden with Staph infection.
It all started at Reggae on the River, when I ignored what I thought was a gnarly spider bite, and then a month later ignored a big throbbing thumb because I was packing for Burning Man... The break in my good luck/health must have come after 3 nights without sleep, and a head full of acid, when I realized something was seriosuly wrong. I couldn't move, had three puss-filled boils on my body, and a 104* fever. On the way back from Nevada, we stopped at an ER in Vallejo, where they diagnosed me as MRSA positive... the most resistant community strain of Staph. If you're like I was, and didn't know what Staph is, let me tell you its the most painful and potentially dangerous bacterial infection you can get. Striaght fuckin' blows. Its in the blood stream, can attack your lungs, bones, heart, and brain... even though mine went untreated for almost 2 months, I am alright, and recovering... though slowly. I've spent the last 8 days in hospitals or ER rooms, being "lanced" (surgical term for being stabbed and squeezed), packed full of gauze, on 2 different kinds of strong Anti-Biotics, and Vicodin. My angel mother has taken off work to be with me, take me to appointments, give warm compresses, keep me high and well-fed. I love the hell out of her, and owe her the world.
In other bad news, my health insurance runs out this Friday.... and since i have this "pre-existing condition", I am basically ineligible for coverage. Which, in short, means that I am royally FUCKED. Any ideas? Send em my way. My mom went so far as to suggest I re-enroll in classes at UCSC to extend my Student Health Center Insurance... what a nightmare, just when I thought I was finally done with that place.
Other than feeling more depressed than I ever have, and worried beyond compare about how I'm going to afford my impending finacial burdens, I am well. Burning Man was incredible, and I don't plan on missing another one as long as I'm on this earth. It brings out the very freakiest in people, the artists in everyone, and piques the imagination beyond your wildest dreams. Art cars, installations, performance art, costumes, loving energy, freaks of nature, horrible techno around-the-clock, and a non-stop light show frenzy. In every direction there was ordered chaos, in many places I felt like I was in a Gay Bar on the moon. My bike took me to the outter expanses of "Deep Space" way beyond the "clock" and the Man, where random art pieces stole my heart and captured my mind. The Temple of Tears took my fears, and hopes, memories, and curses and burned them in a gigantic flame Sunday ngiht. The ginormous Belgian Waffle was so big, I had to do back flips to see it in one swoop. I got lassooed, picked up by a guy driving a GoKart named "Happy," and given gifts of love and stickers throughout the week. I could not write or draw enough to process the uniqueness that was bombarding me, I was smiling 90% of the time, so much my jaw hurt (the LSD had that effect as well...) Life was so good there, minus the lack of showers and my eventual sickness at the end. I was babysitting for two youngsters who had been Burning their whole lives- Ziah (who celebrated his 6th Bday on the night of the Burn), and Dalyon (2.5 years old). They were such joys, and only enhanced my expereince of time there. Someone made an interesting comment to us as Ziah and I rode by the huge Flaming Serpent on our bikes, with Dalyon in the baby seat behind me: That Burning Man is essentially a bunch of adults coming together to put thier imaginations into action, to realize the dreams of thier youth in a tangible way, in essence, to escape the 'real world' (Burners call it the "Default world") and shift back to a more exciting, innocent, unbridled time... that it must be amazing for the kids to be in such a place, where all these things that they wish were possible CAN be, and ARE. Like flying, fire-breathing dragons, huge daisies that spirt rose water all over those standing beneath it, 40-ft tall Venus Fly traps descending upon ravers in the desert, muppets and cheshire cats zooming by, bubble machines and life-sized Jenga, "Ambiance Ambulance"s giving out Chai Tea and Grilled Cheese sandwhiches as your are stoned and walking thru the desert, gift-giving at every turn (as a rule!), body painting, and rides on a REAL steam-powered train engines. What a trip.
I am going to leave this computer now, and help my mom work out in her extensive garden. She is getting married Novemeber 22nd at the Ritz Carlton on Half Moon Bay's coast. Sweet.
I really miss Santa Cruz, and can't wait 'til I return. I have been getting tons of messages and missed calls... don't be offended, Im just hiding from the world until I feel better. But being in Oakland and feeling the electricity of the Bay is great for me, and I'll be looking for places to move up here (Berkeley) come Novemeber or December. Its so hard to say goodbye to santa cruz, but it feels as if Graduation was a huge tidal wave that came, broke, and when it rolled back, took with it so much of what I loved. Sam, Tessa, Corey, Denah, Jessica, Ritika, and some other essentail folks are still around, but the general vibe is gone, the sense of community is sinking, and I find myself at a crossroads. I pride myself in being very good at listening well to my instincts and needs... but right now, I cannot hear one inner voice over another, they are all screaming over each other in a clanging symphonic rush. Or is it just that all are quiet, and not one is saying a thing at all?
In cacophonies of silence,
Staphococcusly yours,
Lauren